Summary
Matchday 1
Bob Sapp and Haigure found themselves sapped by cancer as they walked onto the field Blue and Purple in this game of /d/eviants versus /b/-tards. Fuelled by mafia intimidation, /b/ blew /d/ out of the game with impressive saves by Fuckin' Saved and nice goals by fan favorite Triforce and newfag James Holmes. The trolling was strong with /b/ this game, but the Sappening would hopefully return when /d/ next takes the field.
/lit/'s bad luck began off the field when DrBorisG lost their new uniforms, and stuck with them for all 90 minutes of their game as every one of their many shots found a way to bounce away from /v/'s goal. In a record-tying 7-0 victory, /v/ quickly blew out the latest team to leave the Babbies with a commanding 4 goal lead at the end of the first half. Cries of >Stop! Stop! They're already dead! went unregarded as Gaben secured a miraculous hat trick and SANIC's ear-raping goalhorn played not once but twice. One could only hope that the magic of the Babbies returns to /lit/ before their next game.
Matchday 2
Thrilling, tense, and nail-biting, this match was the second surprise upset of the day. Bob Sapp's streak of poor conditioning continued, but fellow forwards Haigure, Dmitrys, and No Western picked up the slack to bounce three goals off the back of /v/'s net. While /d/ forced itself into /v/'s goal despite the protestations of Trip, Gaben found his team of elite forwards completely shut down by /d/'s defence, and all half-decent attempts on the goal were broken by replacement /d/ goalie Ballbusting. With this victory, /d/ remained in contention and tied with /v/ for points in the group, though /v/'s 7-0 blowout of /lit/ still gave them the edge in goal difference. It would all come down to Sunday.
Competing with /tv/ for absolute worst record in the Summer Cup, /lit/ lost horribly to /b/, with their weak defense constantly outplayed by /b/ forward Triforce. At least this time, /lit/ managed to secure a single goal from sole striker Lolita Wanted It. /lit/'s flat-out weird strategies and formation do not seem to be working their magic, and all of San Marino's attempts at rigging just made less and less sense as the match went on.
Matchday 3
An early goal by Gaben kept /v/ alive through the trolling of /b/ in an otherwise scoreless but exciting game. Barely squeaking by the most cancerous team of the group, /v/ was still at risk of losing their place in the Summer Cup to /d/'s team of sexual deviants.
With San Marino finally deciding to take the cup seriously, /lit/ dragged the /d/eviants down to their level with a 1-1 draw. Rather than playing a nonsense formation with silly sliders, serious /lit/ ended their first major cup with a spoiler draw against fan favorite /d/. A Purple Bob Sapp scored a single goal for /d/ in the first half of the game, raising hopes that DA BEAST would overcome his baffling streak of poor conditions and lead /d/ to victory in it's most important game yet. However it was not too be, and /d/ was relegated to Autumn with /lit/, while the cancer teams of /v/ and /b/ were allowed through.
Standings
| Team
|
Pld
|
W
|
D
|
L
|
GF
|
GA
|
GD
|
Pts
|
 /v/ |
3 |
2 |
0 |
1 |
8 |
3 |
5 |
6
|
 /b/ |
3 |
2 |
0 |
1 |
6 |
2 |
4 |
6
|
 /d/ |
3 |
1 |
1 |
1 |
4 |
3 |
1 |
4
|
 /lit/ |
3 |
0 |
1 |
2 |
2 |
12 |
-10 |
1
|
/d/ v /b/
| Stadium: Konami Stadium
|
17 August 2013, 18:00 UTC
|
Attendance: 1383
|
|
|
|
 60' Triforce
80' James Holmes
|
|
|
| GK |
22 |
Succubus
|
| RB |
8 |
Shitting Dick Nipples |
|
 75'
|
| CB |
23 |
Potato House |
|
75'
|
| CB |
2 |
BDSM General
|
| LB |
19 |
Faye Artemis
|
| DM |
16 |
Monster Girl Quest
|
| CM |
3 |
Haigure
|
| CM |
34 |
Jetporn |
|
75'
|
| RW |
43 |
No Western
|
| CF |
72 |
Bob Sapp
|
| LW |
25 |
Dmitrys
|
| Substitutions:
|
| CB |
4 |
/d/-sized Cock |
|
 75'
|
| RB |
48 |
Futaspammer |
|
75'
|
| CM |
5 |
Vore |
|
75'
|
| Manager:
|
| Chance !!cpmMD0AhXMb
|
|
|
|
|
| GK |
16 |
Fuckin' Saved
|
| RB |
15 |
2edgy4me |
|
68'
|
| CB |
14 |
Chris Hansen
|
| CB |
2 |
Ruse
|
| LB |
4 |
Candlejack
|
| DM |
25 |
Trolled To Death
|
| CM |
17 |
Moses Garza |
|
 43'
|
| RM |
21 |
TYFTT |
|
65'
|
| AM |
13 |
James Holmes
|
| LM |
9 |
Leejun |
|
66'
|
| CF |
19 |
Triforce
|
| Substitutions:
|
| RM |
7 |
Vile Website |
|
65'
|
| LM |
6 |
TYFTA |
|
66'
|
| RB |
5 |
60s Spiderman |
|
68'
|
| Manager:
|
| Cosa Nostra !!Kxz8F2s8bxQ
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Triforce (/b/)
|
|
|
Match Stats
|
|
| 6 (3)
|
Shots (On Target)
|
9 (5)
|
| 2 (0)
|
Fouls (Offside)
|
4 (1)
|
| 4
|
Free Kicks
|
2
|
| 0
|
Free Kicks scored
|
0
|
| 3
|
Corner Kicks
|
3
|
| 12
|
Interceptions
|
23
|
| 42%
|
Possession
|
58%
|
| 75%
|
Passes Completed
|
89%
|
| 13
|
Tackles Won
|
8
|
| 2
|
Saves
|
3
|
/v/ v /lit/
| Stadium: Stade Louis II
|
17 August 2013, 18:30 UTC
|
Attendance: 1680
|
|
|
| GK |
20 |
Trip
|
| RB |
1 |
No Fun Allowed
|
| CB |
4 |
Captain Falcon
|
| CB |
0 |
Protoman
|
| LB |
2 |
Rage
|
| LM |
64 |
Phoenix Wright |
|
42' |
|
57'
|
| RW |
11 |
Console Peasant |
|
57'
|
| AM |
7 |
Sanic
|
| AM |
10 |
Reggie Fils-Aime
|
| LW |
8 |
PC Master Race |
|
64'
|
| CF |
3 |
Gabe Newell
|
| Substitutions:
|
| LM |
59 |
NO GAEMS |
|
57'
|
| RW |
39 |
Hideo Kojima |
|
57'
|
| LW |
12 |
Adam Jensen |
|
64'
|
| Manager:
|
| Exec !!s4zagtDZGcA
|
|
|
|
|
| GK |
1 |
Queer Theory
|
| RB |
2 |
Itchy Kant |
|
57'
|
| CB |
7 |
>this plebeian
|
| CB |
11 |
Huge Orson Welles
|
| LB |
3 |
Told You About States
|
| DM |
6 |
Nobby Hegel |
|
57'
|
| DM |
69 |
MC Homerotic
|
| RW |
13 |
Lolita Wanted It
|
| AM |
19 |
Ayn Rand
|
| LW |
4 |
Mouldy Dique |
|
69'
|
| CF |
18 |
DFW
|
| Substitutions:
|
| RB |
22 |
Tao Lin |
|
57' |
|
63'
|
| DM |
14 |
Deep&Edgy |
|
57' |
|
82'
|
| LW |
17 |
No Talent |
|
69'
|
| Manager:
|
| SanMarino !!K7UPgnq6Ao2
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Gabe Newell (/v/)
|
|
|
Match Stats
|
|
| 10 (7)
|
Shots (On Target)
|
10 (3)
|
| 3 (0)
|
Fouls (Offside)
|
3 (1)
|
| 3
|
Free Kicks
|
3
|
| 0
|
Free Kicks scored
|
0
|
| 3
|
Corner Kicks
|
4
|
| 20
|
Interceptions
|
12
|
| 54%
|
Possession
|
46%
|
| 87%
|
Passes Completed
|
82%
|
| 9
|
Tackles Won
|
9
|
| 3
|
Saves
|
0
|
/d/ v /v/
| Stadium: Benito Villamarin
|
23 August 2013, 18:00 UTC
|
Attendance: 1384
|
Dmitrys 24', 74'
Haigure 45+'
|
|
|
|
|
| GK |
1 |
Ballbusting
|
| RB |
48 |
Futaspammer
|
| CB |
24 |
Break-a-bitch
|
| CB |
2 |
BDSM General
|
| LM |
6 |
HSITMPBAMCWTPOP |
|
74'
|
| DM |
26 |
Ganguro |
|
74'
|
| DM |
34 |
Jetporn |
|
34' |
|
74'
|
| AM |
3 |
Haigure
|
| RW |
25 |
Dmitrys
|
| CF |
72 |
Bob Sapp
|
| LW |
43 |
No Western
|
| Substitutions:
|
| LM |
19 |
Faye Artemis |
|
74'
|
| DM |
69 |
Fenoxo |
|
74'
|
| DM |
16 |
Monster Girl Quest |
|
74'
|
| Manager:
|
| Chance !!cpmMD0AhXMb
|
|
|
|
|
| GK |
20 |
Trip
|
| RB |
99 |
Mr. Bones
|
| CB |
89 |
Villager |
|
90+'
|
| CB |
0 |
Protoman
|
| LB |
2 |
Rage
|
| RM |
39 |
Hideo Kojima
|
| DM |
64 |
Phoenix Wright |
|
67'
|
| LM |
8 |
PC Master Race |
|
74'
|
| AM |
7 |
Sanic
|
| AM |
10 |
Reggie Fils-Aime
|
| CF |
3 |
Gabe Newell
|
| Substitutions:
|
| DM |
59 |
No Gaems |
|
67'
|
| LM |
12 |
Adam Jensen |
|
74'
|
| CB |
4 |
Captain Falcon |
|
90+'
|
| Manager:
|
| Exec !!s4zagtDZGcA
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Dmitrys (/d/)
|
|
|
Match Stats
|
|
| 11 (8)
|
Shots (On Target)
|
6 (3)
|
| 1 (0)
|
Fouls (Offside)
|
1 (0)
|
| 1
|
Free Kicks
|
1
|
| 0
|
Free Kicks scored
|
0
|
| 1
|
Corner Kicks
|
4
|
| 19
|
Interceptions
|
14
|
| 51%
|
Possession
|
49%
|
| 82%
|
Passes Completed
|
83%
|
| 11
|
Tackles Won
|
8
|
| 4
|
Saves
|
4
|
/b/ v /lit/
| Stadium: Stade Louis II
|
23 August 2013, 18:30 UTC
|
Attendance: 1451
|
| Triforce 12', 21', 62', 72'
|
|
68' Lolita Wanted It
|
|
|
| GK |
20 |
Nyancat
|
| RB |
7 |
Vile Website
|
| CB |
14 |
Chris Hansenn
|
| CB |
2 |
Ruse
|
| LB |
4 |
Candlejack |
|
83'
|
| DM |
25 |
Trolled To Death
|
| RM |
21 |
TYFTT |
|
68'
|
| AM |
17 |
Moses Garza
|
| LM |
9 |
Leejun |
|
72'
|
| SS |
13 |
James Holmes
|
| CF |
19 |
Triforce |
|
79'
|
| Substitutions:
|
| RM |
5 |
60s Spiderman |
|
68'
|
| LM |
6 |
TYFTA |
|
72'
|
| CF |
23 |
>>>/b/ |
|
79'
|
| Manager:
|
| Cosa Nostra !!Kxz8F2s8bxQ
|
|
|
|
|
| GK |
9 |
Muh Spooks
|
| SW |
5 |
Heraclitus
|
| RB |
2 |
Itchy Kant |
|
72'
|
| CB |
8 |
A.M. Pinecone
|
| LB |
23 |
The Woolf |
|
72'
|
| DM |
69 |
MC Homerotic
|
| DM |
6 |
Nobby Hegel
|
| CM |
19 |
Ayn Rand |
|
72'
|
| AM |
13 |
Lolita Wanted It |
|
60'
|
| AM |
4 |
Mouldy Dique
|
| CF |
18 |
DFW
|
| Substitutions:
|
| CM |
14 |
Deep&Edgy |
|
72'
|
| RB |
20 |
Future Penguin Classic |
|
72'
|
| LB |
15 |
Arse Full of Farts |
|
72'
|
| Manager:
|
| SanMarino !!K7UPgnq6Ao2
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Triforce (/b/)
|
|
|
Match Stats
|
|
| 10 (8)
|
Shots (On Target)
|
9 (3)
|
| 4 (1)
|
Fouls (Offside)
|
3 (0)
|
| 3
|
Free Kicks
|
4
|
| 0
|
Free Kicks scored
|
0
|
| 3
|
Corner Kicks
|
4
|
| 22
|
Interceptions
|
21
|
| 53%
|
Possession
|
47%
|
| 78%
|
Passes Completed
|
81%
|
| 14
|
Tackles Won
|
7
|
| 3
|
Saves
|
2
|
/v/ v /b/
| Stadium: Konami Stadium
|
25 August 2013, 18:00 UTC
|
Attendance: 1658
|
| Gabe Newell 6'
|
|
|
|
|
| GK |
20 |
Trip
|
| SW |
89 |
Villager
|
| RB |
1 |
No Fun Allowed
|
| CB |
0 |
Protoman
|
| LB |
2 |
Rage
|
| RM |
18 |
Donte |
|
71'
|
| CM |
59 |
NO GAEMS |
|
71'
|
| LM |
8 |
PC Master Race |
|
71'
|
| RW |
7 |
Sanic
|
| LW |
10 |
Reggie Fils-Aime
|
| CF |
3 |
Gabe Newell
|
| Substitutions:
|
| LM |
23 |
Dewrito Pope |
|
71'
|
| CM |
64 |
Phoenix Wright |
|
71'
|
| RM |
83 |
bkub Chen |
|
71'
|
| Manager:
|
| Exec !!s4zagtDZGcA
|
|
|
|
|
| GK |
1 |
Pool's Closed
|
| RB |
15 |
2edgy4me |
|
9' |
|
74'
|
| CB |
18 |
Ass Thread
|
| CB |
2 |
Ruse
|
| LB |
3 |
Skullfuck
|
| DM |
25 |
Trolled To Death
|
| RM |
5 |
60s Spiderman
|
| CM |
17 |
Moses Garza
|
| LM |
9 |
Leejun |
|
71'
|
| SS |
13 |
James Holmes
|
| CF |
19 |
Triforce
|
| Substitutions:
|
| LM |
6 |
TYFTA |
|
71'
|
| RB |
7 |
Vile Website |
|
74'
|
| Manager:
|
| Cosa Nostra !!Kxz8F2s8bxQ
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Reggie Fils-Aime (/v/)
|
|
|
Match Stats
|
|
| 4 (2)
|
Shots (On Target)
|
5 (2)
|
| 0 (0)
|
Fouls (Offside)
|
1 (0)
|
| 1
|
Free Kicks
|
0
|
| 0
|
Free Kicks scored
|
0
|
| 1
|
Corner Kicks
|
2
|
| 19
|
Interceptions
|
21
|
| 47%
|
Possession
|
53%
|
| 77%
|
Passes Completed
|
81%
|
| 11
|
Tackles Won
|
10
|
| 0
|
Saves
|
2
|
/lit/ v /d/
| Stadium: Stade Louis II
|
25 August 2013, 18:30 UTC
|
Attendance: 1581
|
| Lolita Wanted It 58'
|
|
27' Bob Sapp
|
|
|
| GK |
1 |
Queer Theory
|
| RB |
20 |
Future Penguin Classic
|
| CB |
11 |
Huge Orson Welles
|
| CB |
5 |
Heraclitus
|
| LB |
15 |
Arse Full of Farts |
|
70'
|
| DM |
21 |
Exit Level |
|
70'
|
| DM |
69 |
MC Homerotic
|
| AM |
19 |
Ayn Rand |
|
70'
|
| AM |
4 |
Mouldy Dique
|
| CF |
13 |
Lolita Wanted It
|
| CF |
18 |
DFW
|
| Substitutions:
|
| AM |
17 |
No Talent |
|
70'
|
| LB |
23 |
The Woolf |
|
70'
|
| DM |
16 |
Entry Level |
|
70'
|
| Manager:
|
| SanMarino !!K7UPgnq6Ao2
|
|
|
|
|
| GK |
11 |
Consentacles
|
| RB |
20 |
Shitting Dick Nipples |
|
70'
|
| CB |
24 |
XXXX Corruptions
|
| CB |
9 |
BDSM General
|
| LB |
21 |
HSITMPBAMCWTPOP |
|
70'
|
| CM |
18 |
Ganguro
|
| CM |
5 |
Jetporn |
|
2' |
|
70'
|
| AM |
13 |
Haigure
|
| RW |
39 |
Dmitrys
|
| CF |
11 |
Bob Sapp
|
| LW |
34 |
No Western
|
| Substitutions:
|
| RB |
48 |
Futaspammer |
|
70'
|
| LB |
19 |
Faye Artemis |
|
70'
|
| CM |
69 |
Fenoxo |
|
70'
|
| Manager:
|
| Chance !!cpmMD0AhXMb
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Haigure (/d/)
|
|
|
Match Stats
|
|
| 8 (5)
|
Shots (On Target)
|
6 (5)
|
| 4 (0)
|
Fouls (Offside)
|
1 (0)
|
| 1
|
Free Kicks
|
4
|
| 0
|
Free Kicks scored
|
0
|
| 4
|
Corner Kicks
|
3
|
| 23
|
Interceptions
|
19
|
| 47%
|
Possession
|
53%
|
| 80%
|
Passes Completed
|
77%
|
| 8
|
Tackles Won
|
9
|
| 5
|
Saves
|
4
|
