Difference between revisions of "/poland/"

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{{BoardInfobox
{{SimpleBoardInfobox
|txtcolor=EE0000
|txtcolor=EE0000
|bgcolor=FFFFFF
|bgcolor=FFFFFF
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|low_date= N/A
|low_date= N/A
|scorer=Kazimierz the Great  
|scorer=Kazimierz the Great  
|goals=5
|goals=16
|assister=Winged Hussar
|assister=Geralt
|assists=1
|assists=4
|captain=Kazimierz the Great  
|captain=Kazimierz the Great  
|w= 2
|w= 10
|d= 1
|d= 6
|l= 0
|l= 6
|gf=9
|gf=38
|ga=5
|ga=34
|win_home=poland
|win_home=poland
|win_away=hvn
|win_away=br
|win_score_home=4
|win_score_home=6
|win_score_away=2
|win_score_away=0
|win_date=  
|win_date=September 9, 2017
|lose_home=  
|lose_home=poland
|lose_away=  
|lose_away=tsab
|lose_score_home=  
|lose_score_home=1
|lose_score_away=  
|lose_score_away=4
|lose_date=  
|lose_date=September 10, 2017
|first_home=csa
|first_home=csa
|first_away=poland
|first_away=poland
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==Introduction==
==Introduction==
Glorious Nation of Poland is here to liberate everyone from the Germano-Soviet-Russo-Swede-Turk-Ukranian menace... and play memetic divegrass.
Glorious Nation of Poland is here to liberate everyone from the Germano-Soviet-Russo-Swede-Turk-Ukranian menace... and play memetic divegrass.
==History so far==
The team was introduced as a newcomer for [[Multinational Bowl 2]] with a greenhorn manager and a new export. It topped Group A of the Multinationals with 7 points starting by scoring 1 draw against former [[Multinational Bowl]] champions - {{team away|csa}}, and then winning 2 games one against another newcomer - {{team away|hvn}} and one against former 2nd place defender {{team away|ne}}.
The RO16 of the bowl ended in a big blowout of {{team away|br}} of 6 to 0. The Pokeballbowl that followed against {{team away|hoenn}} was a match to the death until the penalties that went on to 10. With Wahahahah! of {{team away|hoenn}} missing his shot and securing the road to the semifinal.
Semi-Finals ended with a loss of 1-2 to {{team away|mn}} after a fierce fight. It seems that the team was already pleased with themselves and before they could gain momentum the match was over. The 3rd place match ended in the team's first major loss 1-4 to {{team away|tsab}}, securing the 4th place in the [[Multinational Bowl 2]]. Despite the loss the team was happy - they proved themselves as a good team, they thanked everyone and went to Geralt's place at Corvo Bianco to feast and remember a time well spent.
As /poland/ is getting ready for the Multinats III, there were some changes to the roster. The new ruleset was tough on the team and such stars as Ja Pierdole quit. The primary GK Bastion of the West has also quit citing "Family issues". This made way two new star players: >LELWandowski and Remember Smolensk.
Out of nowhere, {{team away|poland}} entered [[Fakkin Boolsheet Series IV]], causing great trouble for the host as the ancient Slavic runes confused him to the point that he started babbling in tounges each time he saw a Polish player playing the ball. The competition started with {{team away|poland}} beating {{team away|italypol}} after an even game. In quaterfinals they met {{team away|creepy}}, but the homeland of Darkwoods quickly put the Creepypasters in their place securing an easy victory. {{team away|umvc3}} was a different can of beans - the fight was long and hard, as two sides were more than evenly match. And much to the audience's delight, it was a nail-biter from start to the finish. aith a cheeky 90+++++ {{team away|umvc3}} kicked the match into Benuldies. A blunder by Geralt cause {{team away|poland}} not to pass forward into finals but instead had to settle for the 3rd place match. 3rd place match was little slow in the start but after drawing 1-1, it was again time for Benuldies and this time, the enemy team made a mistake, giving {{team away|poland}} the most important award - the fabled third place trophy.
Not like it mattered, but at least Iron Sheik screamed at Polish team a lot.
[[Multinational Bowl 3]] is soon... and {{team away|poland}} is lurking there waiting.


==Exports==
==Exports==
Line 79: Line 94:
==Players==
==Players==
{{sq start}}
{{sq start}}
{{sq start player |no=1 |pos=GK |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Undefeated against the Russo-Turk hordes">Bastion of The West</span></span>}}
{{sq start player |no=25 |pos=GK |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Slayer of Turks">Jan III "Roach Slayer" Sobieski</span></span>}}
{{sq start player |no=95 |pos=LB |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Fuck the minorities">100% Catholic</span></span>}}
{{sq start player |no=95 |pos=LB |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Fuck the minorities">100% Catholic</span></span>}}
{{sq start player |no=76 |pos=CB |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Hermaszewski could into space">Space Program</span></span>}}
{{sq start player |no=76 |pos=CB |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Hermaszewski could into space">Space Program</span></span>}}
{{sq start player |no=99 |pos=CB |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Will shit up your country">Polish Immigrant</span></span>}}
{{sq start player |no=99 |pos=CB |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Will shit up your country">Polish Immigrant</span></span>}}
{{sq start player |no=10 |pos=RB |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Priest/Businessman/Politician/Healer/etc.">"The Father" Rydzyk</span></span>}}
{{sq start player |no=10 |pos=CB |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Worst disaster in Polish history in the last 2000 years">Remember Smoleńsk</span></span>}}
{{sq start player |no=88 |pos=CMF |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="O Kurwa">Ja Pierdole</span></span>}}
{{sq start player |no=5 |pos=RB |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Priest/Businessman/Politician/Healer/etc.">"The Father" Rydzyk</span></span>}}
{{sq start player |no=44 |pos=CMF |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Ja Pierdole">Kurwa</span></span>}}
{{sq start player |no=90 |pos=DMF |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Best anti-terrorist unit ever">"GROM"</span></span>}}
{{sq silver player |no=96 |pos=CMF |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="100% Polish black man.">Makumba</span></span>}}
{{sq silver player |no=96 |pos=CMF |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="100% Polish black man.">Makumba</span></span>}}
{{sq gold player |no=2 |pos=AMF |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Prounouncable">Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz</span></span>}}
{{sq silver player |no=2 |pos=AMF |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Prounouncable">Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz</span></span>}}
{{sq silver player |no=3 |pos=SS |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="The Witcher, the bitches love him. Polish greatest export until this team.">Geralt</span></span>}}
{{sq gold player |no=3 |pos=SS |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="The Witcher, the bitches love him. Polish greatest export until this team.">Geralt</span></span>}}
{{sq gold player |no=8 |pos=CF |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Best King, Last Piast">Kazimierz the Great {{captain}}</span></span>}}
{{sq gold player |no=8 |pos=CF |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Best King, Last Piast">Kazimierz the Great {{captain}}</span></span>}}
{{sq mid}}
{{sq mid}}
{{sq player |no=25 |pos=GK |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Slayer of Turks">Jan III "Roach Slayer" Sobieski</span></span>}}
{{sq player |no=20 |pos=GK |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Slayer of the Bolsheviks">Józef "Commie Crusher" Piłsudzki</span></span>}}
{{sq player |no=20 |pos=GK |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Slayer of the Bolsheviks">Józef "Commie Crusher" Piłsudzki</span></span>}}
{{sq player |no=0 |pos=LB |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="POLACY DO RAPORTU">Polski Thread</span></span>}}
{{sq player |no=0 |pos=LB |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="POLACY DO RAPORTU">Polski Thread</span></span>}}
{{sq player |no=40 |pos=CB |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="1.9% Alcohol in blood and he still lived">19 Promils</span></span>}}
{{sq player |no=40 |pos=CB |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="1.9% Alcohol in blood and he still lived">19 Promils</span></span>}}
{{sq player |no=48 |pos=CB |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="&gt; Chmielnicki">&gt; Ukraine Polish Clay</span></span>}}  
{{sq player |no=48 |pos=CB |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="&gt; Chmielnicki">&gt; Ukraine Polish Clay</span></span>}}  
{{sq player |no=10 |pos=RB |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="GOOD GOOD POLISH COMPOSER. PIANO PLAYER, YEAH.">Fryderyk Chopin</span></span>}}
{{sq player |no=20 |pos=CB |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Blease Inbest">Eastern Poland</span></span>}}
{{sq player |no=83 |pos=CMF |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="2 centuries of LOLPOLANDWINS">Winged Hussar</span></span>}}
{{sq player |no=77 |pos=RB |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Cyberpunk 2070 in 2070">PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY</span></span>}}
{{sq player |no=13 |pos=CMF |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="The Gimbus audience">13-Year old with neostrada</span></span>}}
{{sq player |no=49 |pos=RMF |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="GOOD GOOD POLISH COMPOSER. PIANO PLAYER, YEAH.">Fryderyk Chopin</span></span>}}
{{sq player |no=20 |pos=DMF |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Blease Inbest">Eastern Poland</span></span>}}
{{sq player |no=83 |pos=RMF |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="2 centuries of LOLPOLANDWINS">Winged Hussar</span></span>}}
{{sq player |no=90 |pos=CMF |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Best anti-terrorist unit ever">"GROM"</span></span>}}
{{sq player |no=13 |pos=DMF |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="The Gimbus audience">13-Year old with neostrada</span></span>}}
{{sq player |no=26 |pos=DMF |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Greatest Conflict since the Finno-Korean Hyper war">Sino-Polish War</span></span>}}
{{sq player |no=26 |pos=DMF |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="Greatest Conflict since the Finno-Korean Hyper war">Sino-Polish War</span></span>}}
{{sq player |no=6 |pos=CMF |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="The secret Polish Jew">Izaak Rosenberg</span></span>}}
{{sq player |no=88 |pos=LMF |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="O Kurwa">Ja Pierdole</span></span>}}
{{sq player |no=6 |pos=LMF |name=<span class="fn"><span class="explain" title="The secret Polish Jew">Izaak Rosenberg</span></span>}}
 
{{sq end}}
{{sq end}}


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|-
|-
| Kazimierz the Great
| Kazimierz the Great
| 5
| 16
|-
| Zdzisław Brzęczysczykiewicz
| 13
|-
|-
| Geralt
| Geralt
| 7
|-
| O Kurwa
| 2
|-
| Makumba
| 1
| 1
|-
|-
| Zdzisław Brzęczysczykiewicz
| Fredryk Chopin
| 1
| 1
|-
|-
| Makumba
| Ja Pierdole
| 1
| 1
|-
|-
| Ja Pierdole
| GROM
| 1
| 1
|}
|}
Line 132: Line 157:
|-
|-
!style="background:#EE0000;color:#FFFFFF"| Player
!style="background:#EE0000;color:#FFFFFF"| Player
!style="background:#EE0000;color:#FFFFFF"| Goals
!style="background:#EE0000;color:#FFFFFF"| Assists
|-
|-
| Geralt
| Geralt
| 1
| 4
|-
| Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz
| 3
|-
| Kazimierz the Great
| 2
|-
| Winged Hussar
| 2
|-
|-
| Ja Pierdole
| Ja Pierdole
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| 1
| 1
|-
|-
| Kazimierz the Great
| Fryderyk Chopin
| 1
| 1
|-
|-
| Winged Hussar
| 1
|}
|}


Line 162: Line 194:
|-
|-
! Player !! Polish Lesson of the Day/Cheat Sheet
! Player !! Polish Lesson of the Day/Cheat Sheet
|-
| Jan III "Roach Slayer" Sobieski || Last of the great Polish kings. Known for being the best Roach exterminator and inspiration for every Serb out there.
|-
| Józef "Commie Crusher" Piłsudski || A socialist terrorist, turned general, turned marshall, turned politcian, turned de-facto head of state. He hated commies so hard he has beaten them so hard in 1920, Europe was safe for 19 years.
|-
|-
| Kazimierz The Great || Basically best Polish King ever - built the foundation for the Polish Golden age by
| Kazimierz The Great || Basically best Polish King ever - built the foundation for the Polish Golden age by
Line 174: Line 210:
| O Kurwa || Polish callsign. Kurwa has variety of uses as it can be transformed into a verb, adjective or stay a noun, which usually is a derogatory name for a prostitute.
| O Kurwa || Polish callsign. Kurwa has variety of uses as it can be transformed into a verb, adjective or stay a noun, which usually is a derogatory name for a prostitute.
|-
|-
| Ja Pierdole  || Another callsign. Pierdole like Kurwa is a word that can be used in variety of ways either as a noun, verb or adjective. It means "Fucking."
| Remember Smoleńsk || Basically the Piss Party's myth of how Russians killed 6 billion of the brightest and smartest Poles in a plane crash using helium-induced fog, a planted nuclear bomb and SAM missiles. Poo party of course opposes this and pretends nothing happened. Polish politics are amazing.
|-
|-
| "The Father" Rydzyk || Polish priest that is de-facto leader of Polish church and a major political figure due to the amount of money he amassed, TV he is running, radio he is running, school he is running... in US terms - Televangelist/lobbyist with ties to government. Shits on the Pope constantly no matter who's the Pope.
| "The Father" Rydzyk || Polish priest that is de-facto leader of Polish church and a major political figure due to the amount of money he amassed, TV he is running, radio he is running, school he is running... in US terms - Televangelist/lobbyist with ties to government. Shits on the Pope constantly no matter who's the Pope.
Line 183: Line 219:
|-
|-
| 100% Catholic || In every census Poland is deemed 99%-100% Catholic despite there being a large Orthodox minority, some Muslims, a good deal of Buddhists (Thanks Vietnam) and of course Protestants. It's also an excuse why Polish Catholic Church has a lot of power here. BTW: 4 centuries ago Catholics were a minority.
| 100% Catholic || In every census Poland is deemed 99%-100% Catholic despite there being a large Orthodox minority, some Muslims, a good deal of Buddhists (Thanks Vietnam) and of course Protestants. It's also an excuse why Polish Catholic Church has a lot of power here. BTW: 4 centuries ago Catholics were a minority.
|-
| Bastion of the West || We saved Europe in ...1683, 1920, 1940, 1944, 1989... basically what Germany tries to do we thwart.
|-
| Jan III "Roach Slayer" Sobieski || Last of the great Polish kings. Known for being the best Roach exterminator and inspiration for every Serb out there.
|-
| Józef "Commie Crusher" Piłsudski || A socialist terrorist, turned general, turned marshall, turned politcian, turned de-facto head of state. He hated commies so hard he has beaten them so hard in 1920, Europe was safe for 19 years.
|-
|-
| Polish Thread || On 4chan the amount of Polish shitposting is high - best observed on /b/, /v/, /int/ and especially /mlp/.
| Polish Thread || On 4chan the amount of Polish shitposting is high - best observed on /b/, /v/, /int/ and especially /mlp/.
Line 201: Line 231:
|-
|-
| 13-year old with Neostrada  || Our version of AOL kids. And source of endless webms.
| 13-year old with Neostrada  || Our version of AOL kids. And source of endless webms.
|-
| PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY || Once again CD Projekt Red makes up for 50% of Polish GDP, the other 50% is Vodka manufacture
|-
|-
| Eastern Poland || Post-communist shithole full of Rednecks. Who the fuck would invest THERE?
| Eastern Poland || Post-communist shithole full of Rednecks. Who the fuck would invest THERE?
|-
|-
| GROM || This formation makes /k/ wet. Our (((Secret))) Export. Currently fucked over by the current goverment.
| GROM || This formation makes /k/ wet. Our (((Secret))) Export. Currently fucked over by the current government.
|-
|-
| Sino-Polish War || One day Poland will absorb Russia and we will border China... who we will fight.
| Sino-Polish War || One day Poland will absorb Russia and we will border China... who we will fight.
Line 210: Line 242:
| Izaak Rosenberg || Everyone in the upper echelons of Polish government is a Jew... or Hungarian. Also about half of Polish dishes are of Jewish origins. Who do we kid. We're Israel v2.0.
| Izaak Rosenberg || Everyone in the upper echelons of Polish government is a Jew... or Hungarian. Also about half of Polish dishes are of Jewish origins. Who do we kid. We're Israel v2.0.
|-
|-
| RETIRED PLAYERS
|-
| Bastion of the West || We saved Europe in ...1683, 1920, 1940, 1944, 1989... basically what Germany tries to do we thwart.
|-
| Ja Pierdole  || Another callsign. Pierdole like Kurwa is a word that can be used in variety of ways either as a noun, verb or adjective. It means "Fucking."
|-
| {{greentext|>LELWandowski}}  || Couldn't carry the team through the world cup now could he.
|-
|}
|}


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| September 1, 2017
| September 1, 2017
| {{team away|csa}}
| {{team away|csa}}
| align=center|[[Multinational Bowl 2]]
| align=center|[[Multinational Bowl 2]]<br>Group Stage
| align=center|2-2 D
| align=center|2-2 D
|<small>Kazimierz the Great {{goal|25}}<br>Makumba {{goal|84}}</small>
|<small>Kazimierz the Great {{goal|25}}<br>Makumba {{goal|84}}</small>
Line 231: Line 272:
| September 2, 2017
| September 2, 2017
| {{team away|hvn}}
| {{team away|hvn}}
| align=center|[[Multinational Bowl 2]]
| align=center|[[Multinational Bowl 2]]<br>Group Stage
| align=center|4-2 W
| align=center|4-2 W
|<small>Kazimierz the Great {{goal|4}}<br>Ja Pierdole {{goal|23}}<br>Geralt {{goal|35}}<br>Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz {{goal|79}}</small>
|<small>Kazimierz the Great {{goal|4}}<br>Ja Pierdole {{goal|23}}<br>Geralt {{goal|35}}<br>Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz {{goal|79}}</small>
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| September 3, 2017
| September 3, 2017
| {{team away|ne}}
| {{team away|ne}}
| align=center|[[Multinational Bowl 2]]
| align=center|[[Multinational Bowl 2]]<br>Group Stage
| align=center|3-2 1
| align=center|3-1 W
|<small>Kazimierz the Great {{goal|4}}<br>Kazimierz the Great {{goal|23}}<br>Kazimierz the Great {{goal|35}}</small>
|<small>Kazimierz the Great {{goal|23}}<br>Kazimierz the Great {{goal|78}}<br>Kazimierz the Great {{goal|82}}</small>
|-bgcolor="ccffcc"
| September 9, 2017
| {{team away|br}}
| align=center|[[Multinational Bowl 2]]<br>Round of 16
| align=center|6-0 W
|<small>Geralt {{goal|32}}<br>O Kurwa {{goal|76}}<br>Kazimierz the Great {{goal|86}}<br>Kazimierz the Great {{goal|88}}<br>Kazimierz the Great {{goal|90+1}}<br>O Kurwa {{goal|90+4}}</small>
|-bgcolor="ccffcc"
| September 10, 2017
| {{team away|hoenn}}
| align=center|[[Multinational Bowl 2]]<br>Quarter-Finals
| align=center|0-0 W (PK 10-9)
|-bgcolor="ffcccc"
| September 10, 2017
| {{team away|mn}}
| align=center|[[Multinational Bowl 2]]<br>Semi-Finals
| align=center|1-2 L
| <small>Geralt {{goal|48}}
|-bgcolor="ffcccc"
| September 10, 2017
| {{team away|tsab}}
| align=center|[[Multinational Bowl 2]]<br>3rd Place Match
| align=center|1-4 L
| <small>Kazimierz the Great{{goal|3}}
|-bgcolor="ccffcc"
| July 3, 2018
| {{team away|italypol}}
| align=center|[[Fakkin Boolsheet Series IV]]<br>Round of 16
| align=center|3-2 W
| <small>Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz {{goal|40}}<br> Geralt {{goal|57}}<br> Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz {{goal|75}}</small>
|-bgcolor="ccffcc"
| July 5, 2018
| {{team away|creepy}}
| align=center|[[Fakkin Boolsheet Series IV]]<br>Quater-Finals
| align=center|2-1 W
| <small>Kazimierz the Great {{goal|25}}<br> Fredryk Chopin {{goal|30}}</small>
|-bgcolor="ffcccc"
| July 5, 2018
| {{team away|umvc3}}
| align=center|[[Fakkin Boolsheet Series IV]]<br>Semi-Finals
| align=center|4-4 L (PK 4-5)
| <small>Kazimierz the Great {{goal|40}}<br> Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz {{goal|49}}<br> Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz {{goal|54}}<br> Geralt {{goal|56}}</small>
|-bgcolor="ccffcc"
| July 5, 2018
| {{team away|bw}}
| align=center|[[Fakkin Boolsheet Series IV]]<br>3rd Place match
| align=center|1-1 W (PK 5-4)
| <small>Geralt {{goal|54}}</small>
|-bgcolor="ffcccc"
| August 24, 2018
| {{team away|punic}}
| align=center|[[Multinational Bowl 3]]<br>Group Stage
| align=center|1-4 L
| <small>Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz {{goal|74}}</small>
|-bgcolor="ffcccc"
| August 26, 2018
| {{team away|br}}
| align=center|[[Multinational Bowl 3]]<br>Group Stage
| align=center|0-2 L
|-bgcolor="ccffcc"
| August 31, 2018
| {{team away|sinnoh}}
| align=center|[[Multinational Bowl 3]]<br>Group Stage
| align=center|4-2 W
| <small>Kazimierz the Great {{goal|42}}<br>Kazimierz the Great {{goal|47}}<br>Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz {{goal|83}}<br>Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz {{goal|89}}</small>
|-bgcolor="ffcccc"
| August 31, 2018
| {{team away|ex-yu}}
| align=center|[[Multinational Bowl 3]]<br>Round of 16
| align=center|2-3 L
| <small>Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz {{goal|30}}<br>Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz {{goal|60}}</small>
|-bgcolor="ffffcc"
| December 17, 2018
| {{team away|alloys}}
| align=center|[[Divegrass Before Christmas]]<br>Group Stage
| align=center|3-3 D
|<small>Kazimierz the Great {{goal|56}}<br>Kazimierz the Great {{goal|76}}<br> Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz {{goal|84}}</small>
|-bgcolor="ffffcc"
| December 17, 2018
| {{team away|dangeru}}
| align=center|[[Divegrass Before Christmas]]<br>Group Stage
| align=center|0-0 D
|-bgcolor="ffffcc"
| December 17, 2018
| {{team away|cbj}}
| align=center|[[Divegrass Before Christmas]]<br>Group Stage
| align=center|1-1 D
|<small>Polski Thread{{goal|45+2}}</small>
|-bgcolor="ccffcc"
| March 21, 2019
| {{team away|yellowsub}}
| align=center|[[Beta Bowl 3]]<br>Group Stage
| align=center|2-0 W
|<small>Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz{{goal|9}}<br>"GROM"{{goal|71}}</small>
|-bgcolor="ffffcc"
| March 22, 2019
| {{team away|mls+ayy}}
| align=center|[[Beta Bowl 3]]<br>Group Stage
| align=center|3-3 D
|<small>Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz{{goal|71}}<br>Kazimierz The Great{{goal|80}}<br>Geralt{{goal|90+3}}</small>
|}
|}




{{Navbox Multinational Bowl}}
{{Navbox Multinational Bowl}}

Latest revision as of 23:11, 22 March 2019

/Poland/
Bastion of Christianity
Poland logo.png
/Poland/ - Polan
Founded 966 AD
Manager Piast
Owner The Sovereign State of Poland
IRL manager Suule !!/bQ+kfA6ObJ
Team colors
Chat color FFFFFF
Pure White
Top scorer Kazimierz the Great (16)
Top assister Geralt (4)
Captain Kazimierz the Great
Website /Poland/ - Polan
Nickname Pollacks, Kurwas
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY
10 6 6 22 45.45%
GF GA GD
38 34 +4
Biggest win
/poland/ Poland icon.png 6–0 Br icon.png /br/
September 9, 2017
Biggest defeat
/poland/ Poland icon.png 1–4 Tsab icon.png /tsab/
September 10, 2017
First match
/csa/ Csa icon.png 2–2 Poland icon.png /poland/
September 1 2016
Team music
Anthem Bogurodzica
Victory anthem Civilization V - Casmir Peace (Bóg się Rodzi)
Goal horn Koko Koko Euro Spoko
Kits
Home kit Polandhome.png
Away kit Polandaway.png
Goalkeeper kit Polandgk.png
Third kit Polandhussar.png


Introduction

Glorious Nation of Poland is here to liberate everyone from the Germano-Soviet-Russo-Swede-Turk-Ukranian menace... and play memetic divegrass.

History so far

The team was introduced as a newcomer for Multinational Bowl 2 with a greenhorn manager and a new export. It topped Group A of the Multinationals with 7 points starting by scoring 1 draw against former Multinational Bowl champions - Csa icon.png /csa/, and then winning 2 games one against another newcomer - Hvn icon.png /hvn/ and one against former 2nd place defender Ne icon.png /ne/.

The RO16 of the bowl ended in a big blowout of Br icon.png /br/ of 6 to 0. The Pokeballbowl that followed against Hoenn icon.png /hoenn/ was a match to the death until the penalties that went on to 10. With Wahahahah! of Hoenn icon.png /hoenn/ missing his shot and securing the road to the semifinal.

Semi-Finals ended with a loss of 1-2 to Mn icon.png /mn/ after a fierce fight. It seems that the team was already pleased with themselves and before they could gain momentum the match was over. The 3rd place match ended in the team's first major loss 1-4 to Tsab icon.png /tsab/, securing the 4th place in the Multinational Bowl 2. Despite the loss the team was happy - they proved themselves as a good team, they thanked everyone and went to Geralt's place at Corvo Bianco to feast and remember a time well spent.

As /poland/ is getting ready for the Multinats III, there were some changes to the roster. The new ruleset was tough on the team and such stars as Ja Pierdole quit. The primary GK Bastion of the West has also quit citing "Family issues". This made way two new star players: >LELWandowski and Remember Smolensk.

Out of nowhere, Poland icon.png /poland/ entered Fakkin Boolsheet Series IV, causing great trouble for the host as the ancient Slavic runes confused him to the point that he started babbling in tounges each time he saw a Polish player playing the ball. The competition started with Poland icon.png /poland/ beating Italypol icon.png /italypol/ after an even game. In quaterfinals they met Creepy icon.png /creepy/, but the homeland of Darkwoods quickly put the Creepypasters in their place securing an easy victory. Umvc3 icon.png /umvc3/ was a different can of beans - the fight was long and hard, as two sides were more than evenly match. And much to the audience's delight, it was a nail-biter from start to the finish. aith a cheeky 90+++++ Umvc3 icon.png /umvc3/ kicked the match into Benuldies. A blunder by Geralt cause Poland icon.png /poland/ not to pass forward into finals but instead had to settle for the 3rd place match. 3rd place match was little slow in the start but after drawing 1-1, it was again time for Benuldies and this time, the enemy team made a mistake, giving Poland icon.png /poland/ the most important award - the fabled third place trophy.

Not like it mattered, but at least Iron Sheik screamed at Polish team a lot.

Multinational Bowl 3 is soon... and Poland icon.png /poland/ is lurking there waiting.

Exports

Team: As Invitational 17
Aesthetics: Excludes stadium
Other: Music in Rigdio format

Players

No. Position Player
25
  GK
Jan III "Roach Slayer" Sobieski
95
  LB
100% Catholic
76
  CB
Space Program
99
  CB
Polish Immigrant
10
  CB
Remember Smoleńsk
5
  RB
"The Father" Rydzyk
90
  DMF
"GROM"
96
  CMF
Makumba
2
  AMF
Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz
3
  SS
Geralt
8
  CF
Kazimierz the Great Captain
No. Position Player
20
  GK
Józef "Commie Crusher" Piłsudzki
0
  LB
Polski Thread
40
  CB
19 Promils
48
  CB
> Ukraine Polish Clay
20
  CB
Eastern Poland
77
  RB
PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY
49
  RMF
Fryderyk Chopin
83
  RMF
Winged Hussar
13
  DMF
13-Year old with neostrada
26
  DMF
Sino-Polish War
88
  LMF
Ja Pierdole
6
  LMF
Izaak Rosenberg

Career Goals

Player Goals
Kazimierz the Great 16
Zdzisław Brzęczysczykiewicz 13
Geralt 7
O Kurwa 2
Makumba 1
Fredryk Chopin 1
Ja Pierdole 1
GROM 1

Career Assists

Player Assists
Geralt 4
Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz 3
Kazimierz the Great 2
Winged Hussar 2
Ja Pierdole 1
O Kurwa 1
Fryderyk Chopin 1

Team Photo

Poland BestSquad.png
Best Lineup
Starting from the upper left:
Jan III "Roach Slayer" Sobieski, >>Ukraine Polish Clay, Makumba, Ja Pierdole, 19 Promils, Kazimierz the Great
100% Catholic, "The Father" Rydzyk, Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz, Winged Hussar, Geralt

Roster Description

Player Polish Lesson of the Day/Cheat Sheet
Jan III "Roach Slayer" Sobieski Last of the great Polish kings. Known for being the best Roach exterminator and inspiration for every Serb out there.
Józef "Commie Crusher" Piłsudski A socialist terrorist, turned general, turned marshall, turned politcian, turned de-facto head of state. He hated commies so hard he has beaten them so hard in 1920, Europe was safe for 19 years.
Kazimierz The Great Basically best Polish King ever - built the foundation for the Polish Golden age by

building cities, castles and alliances, also married 3 times and died childless.

Geralt From the Polish book series, turned film, turned TV series, turned video game, turned TV series. Sexy as fuck, morally grey and gets all the girls. Also slays monsters. Polish best export next to this team and vodka.
Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz One of the names that confuses German spies, custom officers and government officials. It does exist IRL.
Makumba Polish black man. In the 90s he was brought to everybody's attention with a catchy punk reggae song. Poland has a shitton of black people in the cities. They just don't go around blowing stuff up and slicing people apart.
O Kurwa Polish callsign. Kurwa has variety of uses as it can be transformed into a verb, adjective or stay a noun, which usually is a derogatory name for a prostitute.
Remember Smoleńsk Basically the Piss Party's myth of how Russians killed 6 billion of the brightest and smartest Poles in a plane crash using helium-induced fog, a planted nuclear bomb and SAM missiles. Poo party of course opposes this and pretends nothing happened. Polish politics are amazing.
"The Father" Rydzyk Polish priest that is de-facto leader of Polish church and a major political figure due to the amount of money he amassed, TV he is running, radio he is running, school he is running... in US terms - Televangelist/lobbyist with ties to government. Shits on the Pope constantly no matter who's the Pope.
Polish Immigrant Source of Polish Jokes. For years the immigrants were dumb idiots or criminals that the communist country sent off everywhere to get rid of them in the countries. Smart people were kept inside so they wouldn't dissent. Right now you get as many smart immigrants as the dumb ones.
Polish Space Program Despite the meme, we have one cosmonaut - Hermaszewski and supplies European Space Agency with a shitton of sensors for the satellites.
100% Catholic In every census Poland is deemed 99%-100% Catholic despite there being a large Orthodox minority, some Muslims, a good deal of Buddhists (Thanks Vietnam) and of course Protestants. It's also an excuse why Polish Catholic Church has a lot of power here. BTW: 4 centuries ago Catholics were a minority.
Polish Thread On 4chan the amount of Polish shitposting is high - best observed on /b/, /v/, /int/ and especially /mlp/.
19 Promils Polish people like Russians can withstand large quantities of alcohol. The one record is a schoolkid that had 19 promils ( 1.9% alcohol content in blood ) and still survived. Usually normal Europeans can withstand 4.5 promils, which is 0.45% alcohol content in blood.
>> Ukraine Polish Clay Ukraine despite being Ruthenia/Rus back in a day got turned into what was a Polish colony. They are still butthurt about that. But after Russians are kicking their ass, they might've been better off with us.
Fryderyk Chopin Japanese people love our pianist. To the point they make video games with them. Seriously.
Winged Hussar Polish Cavalry tradition = best. And yes it has a specific goalhorn. THAT ONE.
13-year old with Neostrada Our version of AOL kids. And source of endless webms.
PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY Once again CD Projekt Red makes up for 50% of Polish GDP, the other 50% is Vodka manufacture
Eastern Poland Post-communist shithole full of Rednecks. Who the fuck would invest THERE?
GROM This formation makes /k/ wet. Our (((Secret))) Export. Currently fucked over by the current government.
Sino-Polish War One day Poland will absorb Russia and we will border China... who we will fight.
Izaak Rosenberg Everyone in the upper echelons of Polish government is a Jew... or Hungarian. Also about half of Polish dishes are of Jewish origins. Who do we kid. We're Israel v2.0.
RETIRED PLAYERS
Bastion of the West We saved Europe in ...1683, 1920, 1940, 1944, 1989... basically what Germany tries to do we thwart.
Ja Pierdole Another callsign. Pierdole like Kurwa is a word that can be used in variety of ways either as a noun, verb or adjective. It means "Fucking."
>>LELWandowski Couldn't carry the team through the world cup now could he.

Match History

Date Opponent Competition Result Scorers
September 1, 2017 Csa icon.png /csa/ Multinational Bowl 2
Group Stage 		2-2 D Kazimierz the Great Goal 25'
Makumba Goal 84'
September 2, 2017 Hvn icon.png /hvn/ Multinational Bowl 2
Group Stage 		4-2 W Kazimierz the Great Goal 4'
Ja Pierdole Goal 23'
Geralt Goal 35'
Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz Goal 79'
September 3, 2017 Ne icon.png /ne/ Multinational Bowl 2
Group Stage 		3-1 W Kazimierz the Great Goal 23'
Kazimierz the Great Goal 78'
Kazimierz the Great Goal 82'
September 9, 2017 Br icon.png /br/ Multinational Bowl 2
Round of 16 		6-0 W Geralt Goal 32'
O Kurwa Goal 76'
Kazimierz the Great Goal 86'
Kazimierz the Great Goal 88'
Kazimierz the Great Goal 90+1'
O Kurwa Goal 90+4'
September 10, 2017 Hoenn icon.png /hoenn/ Multinational Bowl 2
Quarter-Finals 		0-0 W (PK 10-9)
September 10, 2017 Mn icon.png /mn/ Multinational Bowl 2
Semi-Finals 		1-2 L Geralt Goal 48'
September 10, 2017 Tsab icon.png /tsab/ Multinational Bowl 2
3rd Place Match 		1-4 L Kazimierz the GreatGoal 3'
July 3, 2018 Italypol icon.png /italypol/ Fakkin Boolsheet Series IV
Round of 16 		3-2 W Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz Goal 40'
Geralt Goal 57'
Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz Goal 75'
July 5, 2018 Creepy icon.png /creepy/ Fakkin Boolsheet Series IV
Quater-Finals 		2-1 W Kazimierz the Great Goal 25'
Fredryk Chopin Goal 30'
July 5, 2018 Umvc3 icon.png /umvc3/ Fakkin Boolsheet Series IV
Semi-Finals 		4-4 L (PK 4-5) Kazimierz the Great Goal 40'
Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz Goal 49'
Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz Goal 54'
Geralt Goal 56'
July 5, 2018 Bw icon.png /bw/ Fakkin Boolsheet Series IV
3rd Place match 		1-1 W (PK 5-4) Geralt Goal 54'
August 24, 2018 Punic icon.png /punic/ Multinational Bowl 3
Group Stage 		1-4 L Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz Goal 74'
August 26, 2018 Br icon.png /br/ Multinational Bowl 3
Group Stage 		0-2 L
August 31, 2018 Sinnoh icon.png /sinnoh/ Multinational Bowl 3
Group Stage 		4-2 W Kazimierz the Great Goal 42'
Kazimierz the Great Goal 47'
Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz Goal 83'
Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz Goal 89'
August 31, 2018 Ex-yu icon.png /ex-yu/ Multinational Bowl 3
Round of 16 		2-3 L Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz Goal 30'
Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz Goal 60'
December 17, 2018 Alloys icon.png /alloys/ Divegrass Before Christmas
Group Stage 		3-3 D Kazimierz the Great Goal 56'
Kazimierz the Great Goal 76'
Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz Goal 84'
December 17, 2018 Dangeru icon.png /dangeru/ Divegrass Before Christmas
Group Stage 		0-0 D
December 17, 2018 Cbj icon.png /cbj/ Divegrass Before Christmas
Group Stage 		1-1 D Polski ThreadGoal 45+2'
March 21, 2019 Yellowsub icon.png /yellowsub/ Beta Bowl 3
Group Stage 		2-0 W Zdzisław BrzęczyszczykiewiczGoal 9'
"GROM"Goal 71'
March 22, 2019 Mls+ayy icon.png /mls+ayy/ Beta Bowl 3
Group Stage 		3-3 D Zdzisław BrzęczyszczykiewiczGoal 71'
Kazimierz The GreatGoal 80'
GeraltGoal 90+3'


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