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Difference between revisions of "/asp/ Roster"
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| align="center" | HOLY FUCKING DIMES<br/><br/>If there is one wrestler out there who embodies all of the ideals of what a perfect wrestler should look like according to /asp/, it would be Kevin Nash. He's tall, charismatic, and (if you don't count his stint as Diesel) a proven draw in the industry. If you wanna make it in this business, you better learn the | | align="center" | HOLY FUCKING DIMES<br/><br/>If there is one wrestler out there who embodies all of the ideals of what a perfect wrestler should look like according to /asp/, it would be Kevin Nash. He's tall, charismatic, and (if you don't count his stint as Diesel) a proven draw in the industry. If you wanna make it in this business, you better learn the 5 tenants of Nashism.<br/><br/>1. Gain height<br/>2. Have sex<br/>3. Take a shower<br/>4. Hit the weights<br/>5. Get a clue | ||
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Revision as of 22:58, 7 November 2017
Sub | Starter | Silver | Gold |
Goalkeepers
Defenders
Pos. | Name | Picture | Description | ||
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Big Poppa Pump | You know they say that all men are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Samoa Joe and you can see that statement is not true. See, normally if you go one on one with another wrestler, you got a 50/50 chance of winning. But I'm a genetic freak and I'm not normal! So you got a 25%, AT BEST, at beat me. Then you add Kurt Angle to the mix? Your chances of winning drastic go down. See the 3 way, at Sacrifice, you got a 33 1/3 chance of winning. But I! I got a 66 and 2/3 chance of winning, because Kurt Angle KNOWS he can't beat me and he's not even gonna try! So Samoa Joe, you take your 33 1/3 chance, minus my 25% chance, and you got an 8 1/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice. But then you take my 75% chance of winning, if we was to go one on one, and then add 66 2/3 per cents, I got 141 2/3 chance of winning at Sacrifice. Senior Joe? The numbers don't lie, and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice. ................................HE'S FAT! | |||
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Shovelman | The Shovelman has started to take more of a backseat role on the roster, much like how he has transitioned into being more of a front office executive rather than an active wrestler. Not to worry, as while he's been in the business of putting people over as of late, he's still very aware of when someone needs a good burial. | |||
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Jannetty | The not-Shawn Michaels half of The Rockers. He is the poster child for /asp/'s fascination with analyzing the individual members of tag teams in various forms of media and trying to find out which one is destined for stardom, and which one will be left in the dust, AKA the Jannetty. | |||
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Worked Into a Shoot | Goodnight HULKAMANIACS and jabronie marks without a life that don't know it a work when you work a work and work yourself into a shoot,marks | |||
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Rakesh Kumar Orton | /asp/ is generally not the biggest fans of Randy Orton. He's boring, stale, slow, and rarely puts any effort in. Rakesh Kumar Orton, however, is a different story. One of the main attractions of Indian backstreet independent promotion AngaarTV, Rakesh is an unquestioned improvement on the original. He may look like a twig, but you better not underestimate him. | |||
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>airshit | While the team around him has slowly grown more and more wrestling-centric over time, Airshit still remains a familiar face in the backline of the defense, doing what he can to help the team win with his tacticool genes guiding the influx of new players. | |||
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Tranquilo | Tetsuya Naito is the leader of Los Ingobernables de Japon, former IWGP Heavyweight Champion, and winner of the 2013 and 2017 G1 Climax tournaments. After being rejected by Japanese fans in favor of Hiroshi Tanahashi and Kazuchika Okada, Naito left for Mexico and developed a new laid-back heel persona, departing from his initial clean-cut roots. It's tough to get the guy to give a shit, but if he does, look out. | |||
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Big Dick Dave | Dave Meltzer has been covering professional wrestling in his newsletter the Wrestling Observer for four decades, and is widely considered to be the predominant voice of wrestling journalism. Depending on who you ask, he's either a brilliant writer with a fountain of knowledge or a cuck shill with a huge bias towards New Japan Pro Wrestling. In either case, his banter game is pretty strong, and having studied the industry for as long as he has he (usually) knows what he's talking about. | |||
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Tony Hawk | When you think of skateboarding, the first thing that comes to mind is how long ago the 90's were. But the second thing that comes to mind is Tony Hawk, one of the pioneers of the sport that brought it into its golden age and made it popular in the first place. While he's been retired from actively competing for quite some time now, he still remains the most famous skateboarder of all time and the icon of the industry. | |||
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Dimes | HOLY FUCKING DIMES If there is one wrestler out there who embodies all of the ideals of what a perfect wrestler should look like according to /asp/, it would be Kevin Nash. He's tall, charismatic, and (if you don't count his stint as Diesel) a proven draw in the industry. If you wanna make it in this business, you better learn the 5 tenants of Nashism. 1. Gain height 2. Have sex 3. Take a shower 4. Hit the weights 5. Get a clue |
Midfielders
Pos. | Name | Picture | Description | ||
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Bork Lazer | After finally conquering his demons by defeating Goldberg at Wrestlemania and taking the WWE Universal Title, Bork returns to /asp/ the strongest he's ever been, while still dabbling in MMA enough to stay relevant there as well. Suplex city, bitch. | |||
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THE GAY COMMUNITY? | Frequently regarded as one of the best (if not THE best) wrestlers alive today, AJ Styles has been a world champion in every promotion he's ever been in. After putting Smackdown back on the map with solid reigns as both WWE and United States champion, he now looks to create a dominating one-two punch with Big Match John to bring home the gold to /asp/. He also has a very devoted following in the gay community. | |||
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BRAAAAUUUUUUUNN | Roses are red Violets are blue Braun's on the pitch HE'S NOT FINISHED WITH YOU! | |||
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Krispen Wah | Who is this Krispen Wah guy? Never heard of him. He is definitely not a former World Champion and Royal Rumble winner. | |||
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Lord HEMA | After taking a cup off to hone his craft, the lord of the Historical European Martial Arts has once again returned to the backline of /asp/'s defense to help stop any unwanted intruders from passing through. | |||
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EXPOSING THE BUSINESS | THAT MOTHERFUCKING KENNY OMEGA IS RUINING THIS INDUSTRY | |||
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Bruce Lee | Arguably the most famous martial artist who ever lived and a longtime /asp/ regular, Bruce Lee's deft skills with his feet will no doubt come in handy on the field. Flow like water, my friend. | |||
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6.25 Stars | Kazuchika "Rainmaker" Okada is the current IWGP Heavyweight champion and a really, really good wrestler. So good, in fact, that he's had three matches this year alone with Kenny Omega that broke Dave Meltzer's 5 star scale for wrestling matches. He's also yet to turn 30 so who knows how good he'll get in the future? | |||
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Women's """Wrestling""" | >discussing wrestling >not just fapping to the Divas |
Attackers
Pos. | Name | Picture | Description | ||
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The Big Dog | After putting down The Undertaker at Wrestlemania this year, The Big Dog now sets his sights on the other teams in the 4CC. This truly is his yard now. | |||
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Big Match John | He is a record tying 13-time WWE champion, 3-time World Heavyweight champion, 2-time Royal Rumble winner, 8-time WWE Slammy Award winner and a numerous time holder of some unimportant championships. He is the most divisive player in WWE and 4CC history. He is the ultimate underdog. Powered by a mixture of sheer willpower and Fruity Pebbles, he is here to add some divegrass trophies to his list of accolades. Who wins LOL? CENAWINSLOL. |