Congratulations /k/! | ||
Winners of the 2024 4chan Autumn Babby Cup |
/aog/ Roster
Sub | Starter | Silver | Gold |
Goalkeepers
No. | Name | Position | Picture | Description | ||
6 | *BLOCKS IT* |
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When your co-attorney saves your life from death. Thank you Holmes. | |||
10 | THE WALL |
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Power Anal Lana (PAL), Valant Gramarye, Gant *rips evidence*, Maya Fey; all these infamous walls have tortured DA's.
When you're 12 contradictions in and the witness still isn't breaking down, you know you found THE WALL. | |||
5 | Gloves |
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So your defendant has their prints all over the murder weapon; then how did the witness kill him? Why, gloves of course!
Edible gloves, fingerless gloves, makeshift gloves made of ripped clothing, goalkeeper gloves, whatever works! |
IN PROGRESS
No. | Name | Position | Picture | Description | ||
88 | Do you think im imcompetent? |
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Yes. | |||
3 | TIMELINES |
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HOLD IT! Witness, what time is it when you witnessed the murder?
"I-I was in shock! I didn't check." Ok. What time did you get to the scene of the crime? When did you call the police? When did you brush your teeth that morning of the murder? What year was it when you killed the victim? When did you decide to commit the crime? What time did you frame my defendant? When will the trial end? When am I getting a contradiction from timelines? All of this in a timeline, please. | |||
32 | 32 Non-Lethal Stab Wounds |
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I mean, it was only on the feet. | |||
33 | IT'S ME, AUSTIN |
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Starting your first testimony as witness with the title "IT'S ME AUSTIN"... Nah, innocent.
YOU ALL BOUGHT IT. HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER. | |||
8 | OPEN and SHUT |
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A phrase used by the prosecution whenever possible, showing how open and shut the case against the defendant is. Often done by all three prosecutors in synchronized fashion during their opening statement. | |||
18 | I have a theory |
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When you hear this phrase, prepare for the ride of your life either ending in disaster, or poorly constructed bullshit that sounds nice and earns a victory. | |||
0 | JUST A PRANK, BRO |
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HAHA, THIS WHOLE MURDER WAS JUST A PRANK! GOTCHA, BRO! | |||
2 | Great job, Payne |
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Great job, Payne. | |||
14 | >Sequel Cases |
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>implying sequels to finished cases ever work
Don't even mention all those Lesbian Sex Party cases, they're all shit. | |||
19 | Circlecliquejerk Conspiracy |
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The resident boogeyman of /aog/. THE NAMEFAGS ARE ALL OUT TO GET US, MAN! | |||
11 | Ear Elephant |
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Nice "theory"... But that's simply... IRRELEVANT. | |||
6 | Verdict pls |
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The Verdictfag prosecution's hungry plea to the Judge after the very first witness. Sometimes stated by the defense after only finding one contradiction. | |||
4 | Bantz |
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If you can't handle the bantz, then you probably have no chance. | |||
12 | Blue Ruby |
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An exceedingly rare jewel found by a detective at a crime scene in one case. When asked about the jewel, the detective insisted that it was a ruby with a blue hue, and has since been found in many other cases as meme evidence. | |||
1 | BURGER GREASE |
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7 | WE GIVE UP |
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Sometimes the case is too hard. The prosecution is overbearing, the witness is a wall, the Judge is biased towards the prosecution, too much evidence against your defendant, you suck shit at finding contradictions... Sometimes it's good to just admit defeat and say "WE GIVE UP", just like in my Ace Attorney games. | |||
2 | THAT CARD |
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"WAIT A MINUTE" Meme evidence that has confused attorneys in all sorts of cases. No one knows the true purpose of that card. A true wildcard on the field. | |||
42 | WE ARE LAWYER |
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A famous case called "The Turnabout", that started simply where Larry Butz tried to prank Satan ending in murder. Then the court ends up actually summoning Satan herself in Hell, God revealing himself to be Larry in Heaven, and ends with Apollo cross-examining God in Limbo and realizing
WE ARE LAWYER, WE SHOULD CHOOSE OUR PATH FOR OURSELVES TO FIND THE TRUTH, FREE OF ANY BEINGS ABOVE US | |||
5 | >Greg |
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The man, the myth, the meme. Legendary autist known to inflict the curse of massive stupidity as well as a desire to ask bizarre questions and create even more bizarre theories on all who play as him.
Gregory Edgeworth will do his best to tip his fedora and the ball into the goal with some asspulls to assist. | |||
39 | Asspulls |
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Necessary for any lawyer, asspulls are the lifeblood of /aog/, turning cases from shit to great, and vice versa. The power of the asspull is immense and can win a case with your back against THE WALL, or can open and shut your case. Asspull wisely. |