/usa/
Revision as of 05:43, 10 September 2019 by GoldenWingman (talk | contribs) (probably final "new" roster, guaranteed to be only slightly worse than the actual USMNT roster. also obligatory FUCK YOU TOM BRADY)
Brace yourselves for freedom.
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| /usa/ - United States Of America | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Introduction
America needs no introduction. Freedom is their introduction.
Roster
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Roster Description
| Player | Description |
|---|---|
| Secretary Howard | Fifteen fucking saves. |
| Burgers | America's greatest invention, along with apple pie, atomic bombs, and football. |
| Bald Eagle | The bald eagle is the national bird and will dominate the defense with his commanding presence and sharp eye. He also provides most of the aesthetics because I'm too busy enjoying my freedom to make new blenders. |
| Florida Man | Florida Man Clears Soccer Ball |
| Greatest Ally | Greatest ally, where is burger? |
| Tom Brady | 6 (SIX) RINGS |
| Captain America | The only capeshit who matters. He went to war, saved the world countless times, and punched out Hitler all for the good of America. |
| Freedom Ain't free. :DD | The tree of liberty and freedom gotta be litterd with the blood of Patriots. Barack HUSSIEN obama aka “B. O” is not my presidnet. he is Islamic gommunist and probbaly kenyan as well :DD. ADAM and eve not adam and STEVE ok. praise jesus. |
| The American Messi | PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC PULISIC |
| Donald Trump | KEEP AMERICA GREAT (and buy Greenland while we're at it) |
| 2x World War Champs | We'd brag about two stars here, but hey. We've got 50 already. |
| 2nd Amendment | SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED |
| Most American Gif | Google it. You won't be disappointed! |
| Syria Was Asking For It | Talk shit, get hit. |
| Miracle On Ice | Never forget the day when a collection of American amateurs blew Russia the fuck out in a sport we hardly even care about. |
| Michael Wilson | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxTsjb46ECA |
| Alex Jones | Imagine you live in a world that's fake, who are your heroes? Patriots. Imagine you live in a world that's totally plastic, who are your enemies if you're evil? The patriots. We are the future, we are the leaders, we are 1776. |
| Ron Swanson | History began on July 4th, 1776; anything before that was just a mistake. |
| Nuke 'em | It worked for Japan, why not try it on a hurricane? |
| Air Jordan | Leader of the greatest sports team ever assembled. And also the Dream Team. |
| Babe Ruth | I always swing at the ball with all my might. I hit or miss big. |
| The Original Brexit | >britbongs STILL mad |
| Andrew Jackson | Possibly the most badass president we've ever had. |
Match History
| Date | Opponent | Competition | Result | Scorers |
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| September 3, 2016 |  /ussr/
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Multinational Bowl 1 | 5-4 W | 2x World War Champs  5', 11', 18'Andrew Jackson 42'Donald Trump 89'
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| September 4, 2016 |  /ne/
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Multinational Bowl 1 | 4-4 D | Donald Trump 14' 2x World War Champs 37', 45', 70'
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| September 9, 2016 |  /ARS/
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Multinational Bowl 1 | 1-1 D | Andrew Jackson 9'
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| September 10, 2016 |  /tsab/
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Multinational Bowl 1 | 1-5 L | 2x World War Champs 45+'
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| September 1, 2017 |  /pak/
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Multinational Bowl 2 | 1-2 L | Andrew Jackson 48'
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| September 3, 2017 | /tsab/
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Multinational Bowl 2 | 0-3 L | |
| September 8, 2017 |  /iww/
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Multinational Bowl 2 | 1-2 L | 2x World War Champs 9'
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| August 24, 2018 |  /aus/
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Multinational Bowl 3 | 0-0 D | |
| August 25, 2018 |  /ex-yu/
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Multinational Bowl 3 | 0-3 L | |
| August 31, 2018 | /tsab/
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Multinational Bowl 3 | 1-0 W | 2x World War Champs 41'
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| September 1, 2018 |  /fed/
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Multinational Bowl 3 | 4-1 W | Michael Bay 5' Freedom Ain't free. :DD 92'2x World War Champs 105'Andrew Jackson 118'
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| September 2, 2018 |  /mn/
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Multinational Bowl 3 | 3-1 W | 2x World War Champs 3' Freedom Ain't free. :DD 81'Donald Trump 87'
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| September 2, 2018 | /pak/
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Multinational Bowl 3 | 0-1 L | |
| September 2, 2018 |  /rome/
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Multinational Bowl 3 | 1-3 L | 2x World War Champs 11'
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"Rivalries"
Some countries think they're better than us. They are wrong. Sometimes so wrong they don't exist anymore.
Also some traitors broke off from us one time before getting put back in their place, Michigan is a shithole, so is Vermont, and holy fucking shit dude /tsab/? That's not even a real country that's some anime shit how the fuck do we play them so goddamn much?
Export (Multinats 1)
Everyone in America has Speeding Bullet and Fighting Spirit (Donald Trump AMF and captaincy fixed) (AATF hates freedom and only stopped bitching after I made the goalkeepers 77s)
Incredibly advanced aesthetics that europoors could only dream of
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