/5N@F/ Roster

The Pizzeria Staff of /5N@F/

Sub

Starter

Silver

Gold

Startering Roster

No.	Name	Position	Picture	Description
1	The Knot	GK		"I can do this all night ya know. All 7. Eventually they all get out-foxed. They all get the knot." "Oh they do knot. I do knot believe you. You're full of Shih-Tzu dumb slow faux. Your threats are not furry good. You're foxing them up-" "HOLY SHIT STOP"
2	Left Door	LB		A relic of the past recently given new life. Keeps rabbits, foxes, noodle clown abominations, ballerinas, nightmares, bears & chickens at bay.
3	The Pupper	CB		So is the kid's ghost from FNAF4 supposed to be the Marionette from FNAF2? Is it still some mysterious fifth kid that died before the other four? Or is it a sixth kid if we include Golden Freddy, or is Golden Freddy supposed to be the kid from FNAF4, or is it just some weird third-wheel entity that happened to give the dead kids new life... Y'know what why do I even bother anymore Marionette? Phantom? Puppet? Never heard of her.
4	The Hive	CB		The main character of Pizzeria Quest, a nightguard turned cyborg with a robotic arm and a growing lust for blood remnant. Any striker going against The Hive should be careful or they could end up like the owl.
5	Right Door	RB		A relic of the past recently given new life. Keeps chickens, bears, noodle clown abominations, ballerinas & nightmares at bay.
6	Mango	DMF		Despite not really having much of a real presence since FNAF2 beyond Phantom Mangle in FNAF3, the Halloween reskin for FNAF4, and the characters in FNAF World (which confirmed, to everyone's chagrin, that she had a hook and not a puppet or second head when unbroken), Mangle remains popular as the sweetest of all waifus.
7	Comedy Relief Bunny	SS		Every cartoon needs their comedic relief character, Freddy & Friends: On Tour is no different, look at the funny bunny go!
8	I'm In Love With a Chicken	AMF		Whether it's to keep her memory alive or just a statement about the latest Chica variant, it's something you'll always hear/see.
9	Mike Schmidt	SS		The original minimum-wage security guard, putting up with the robots' bullshit since 1993 or so. There are so many interpretations of Mike that he can be anything you can think of. Black, white, young, old, man, woman, thumb, fat, thin, nerdy, muscled, wants to fuck robots, wants to destroy robots... Mike is whatever your heart desires, so long as he's wearing a cap with SECURITY written on it.
10	Slick Willy	CF		Purple guy, Slick Willy, Silly Willy, the man behind the slaughter, mad lad from down under, creator of murderous robots way ahead of their time, body & gender changing hell escapee. Basically, kind of a big deal. Oh and don't forget, he always comes back.
11	All Business	AMF		The bear, the robot, the legend. His name's on the sign above the entrance, his name's in all the games, and he's the star, even when he's not. One top hat, one bow tie, and one microphone is all it takes for Freddy Fazbear to take the stage and steal the show. Better pay him his due respect, because otherwise you're getting the Toreador.

Substitutions

No.	Name	Position	Picture	Description
12	Mr. Hugs	CB		He's all you need for your startup pizzeria to be a big hit! At a mere 15$ he's sure to rake in a huge profit for your totally-not-a-murderous-trap pizzeria.
13	SCOOOOOTT	CB		So I told Scott to make another FNAF game.. he actually did it the absolute madman hahahahahahaha, then he retired but he still keeps making games! The absolute madman!
14	DED KIDS DED THREAD	CB		ded thread ded kids ded guards ded kid killers ded robots ded lore ded ded
15	Beamz The Bat	LB		The most >popular OC created by /5N@F/. He plays vidya in the arcade and it drains your power, and he'll also swoop down on you from the ceiling. Or, at least, that was the idea, before he was transformed into a half-sleepy, half-radical big-hipped twink in a loose sweater that wants to be your personal joystick-holder.
16	Uh, Hello Hello?	LB		Rest in peace, Phone Guy. You gave us the encouragement and advice necessary to not only survive the first five nights at Freddy's, but also told us how to safely wear those old springlock suits. Hopefully you're in a better place where you can truly immerse yourself in the Joy of Creation.
17	Afton's Car Wife	RB		It's obvious, Afton's wife is his car, any and all ballorafags will be ignored. Besides, an exhaust pipe is way easier to fuck than sheet metal.
18	Let's Get Fit!	RB		Another fairly popular thread >OC, Tammy. A tiger animatronic who's always eager to get anons in the thread exercising.
19	Vanneh	CMF		Another little gremlin version of an existing character with arguably more character than the original it's based off of? You bet.
20	Slippery When Wet	CMF		What do they know that we don't? Why do they keep looking at me? Can they kill me? Will they? Are they sentient? And most importantly, why does Rockstar Chica fear them so much?
21	The Gremlins	CMF		Don't let their cute exterior distract you from the fact that they only exist to cause chaos. Keep an eye on your property & shins.
22	Souldozer	CMF		YOU EXPECTED A PUNY ANIMAL-SHAPED ROBOT, BUT IT WAS ME, SOULDOZER! ARE YOU FUKKEN PILGRIMS READY FOR A DOZING? YOU BETTER PRAY FOR PEACE!!
23	Vane/ss/a	SS		Why is she after Gregory? What does she want from Gregory? It didn't take long for /5N@F/ and the internet as a whole to think of an answer to those questions.

Troublesome (Read: Retired) Employees (Read: Players)

Name	Picture	Description
EEEEEEEEEEEEE		Foxy hasn't moved, that's good. Freddy's on stage, noises from the kitchen so Chica's alright... where's Bonnie. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck where is she? Why can't I close the door? Better check the closet, FUCK nothing, wonder if the door'll work no- EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Michelle's Hips		Have you ever wondered what the guardsman of Freddy's Pizzeria would look like if he were a woman? I mean, clearly she'd need that rump for uh... y'know... sitting for six hours. Yeah. Hipsanon's fab feminine creation covers goals with hips wide enough to make you really wonder if she has to order her own custom pants.
One Hundred and Twenty Dollars		Y'know, it may not seem like much, but minimum wage actually WAS at $4 an hour back in the early nineties. It's also the general cost of any commission from one of the thread's numerous drawfags, greedy assholes. (Just kidding we love you guys)
I'm A Good Fox		A BLOO-BLOO-BLOO UMMAHGUD FOX A-BLOO-BLOO-BLOO. THEY LOCK US UP! NEVER TO HAVE FUN! I DIDN'T WANT TO BITE HIM UMMAHGUDFOOOOOOOOOOX...
IT'S ME		Sir, it is lamentable that mass agricultural development is not speeded by fuller use of your marvelous mechanisms. Would it not be easily possible to employ some of them in quick laboratory experiments to indicate the influence of various types of fertilizers on plant growth? You are right. Countless uses of Bose instruments will be made by future generations. The scientist seldom knows contemporaneous reward; all will know that I possess The Joy Of Creation
Death Fan		What? Did you think that the animatronics were the real enemy of Five Nights? Of course not! Your true foe is the Lord of Oscillation, THE FAN.
DOOR STUCK		The Phantom! Exterior like fish eggs, Interior like suicide wrist-rags. I could exercise you, this could be yo' Phys-Ed, cheat on your man homie- AAAH! I tried to sneak through the door man! Can't make it, can't make it the shit's stuck. Outta ma' way son! DOOR STUCK! DOOR. STUCK. PLEASE!
Shut The Fuck Up Bonnie		Bitch doesn't know when men need their time for Pirate Adventures. Or when Bears need to be bosses. Just shut the fuck up Bonnie. No you can't have ice cream go back to your stage.
LET'S EAT!!		LET'S KILL! LET'S SLEEP! LET'S DANCE! LET'S PANTIES! LET'S EXERCISE! LET'S BOOBS! LET'S MURDER!
MSF3K		Freddy Fazbear's favorite show, where the gang gets together and takes a look at some really great (shit) movies together. Ah, what fun with silhouettes can we have tonight?
Snack of '87		Wasn't his fault if you ask me. Kid was asking for it. When you literally put two meat-lovers slices on your head and pretend to be a lion tamer with the only solely-carnivorous animatronic you're just selling yourself for a forceful lobotomy.
LUCKY ROLL: 1		The most important lesson we have learned from GhostQuest, I think, is that if you ever find yourself confronted by a horrible Lovecraftian merger of guts and machinery, the best thing you can do to combat it is to try and hug it. Just hope that Philip's luck holds out this session, which somehow has managed to happen barely so far despite all the unlucky rolls.
Southern Drawl		One of our greatest voicefags Ace, who gave us such fantastical adventures as Mike and Bonnie Use A Cat To Travel Between Dimensions And Switch Bodies as well as [BAD_ENDING].mp3, a clip of Purple Guy's gruesome death that is getting passed around all over the internet without any proper credit, as the internet tends to do.
Dongman		He's back, and he's dongier than ever.
The Fat Gay One		"So when are you coming out of the closet Bonnie?" "W-what?! I'm not in the closet!" "You are literally in the supply closet." "O-Oh. Well that's...that's my business!"
IT WAS ALL A DREAM		Wow, Scott, after four games? Is that really what you're trying to imply? The whole series was the dream of a kid in a coma? Really? That's the theory? Great, thanks, that's great, everyone. Screw it, I don't even wanna see what's in the Box now.
Two Bites		I think at this point we all just need to admit that Scott isn't very good at keeping the lore of this series cohesive and consistent, because this is some ridiculously dumb shit if it is indeed true.
Springles		Nobody in /5N@F/ gave that much of a shit about Purple Guy, but turn him into a ghost zombie crammed inside a decrepit fursuit that killed him and suddenly everybody wants to fuck him.
Booplesnoot		Nice nose, 10/10, would boople the snoot to make a honk noise.
Carlos the Cupcake		This little asshole pops up in every game, usually in the company of his best friend Chica. What's his angle? Why does he stare at you? How the fuck does he sneak into the bedroom in FNAF4 to jumpscare you if he doesn't have legs? One of life's greatest mysteries.
Poncy Brit		Well that's stupid and all but what kind of pirate would have a southern English accent? Pirates don't have a southern English accent, Foxy.
Fredders		Oh, Fredders, what magical adventures will await you today? Playing in the sink? Chasing Runner? Cooking with Tiktak? Trying to touch Bonbon? Showing off Bobo? You rapscallion, you.
Fuck Off Hateanon		The standard response to anyone shitposting about or critiquing an OCfag, whether the shitpost/critique is valid or not. An especially handy and easy response to any autist who bothers to type up an entire multiple-paragraph treatise about how terrible someone is and how they're ruining the general.
Variable Scent Release		Funtime Foxy's blueprint lists her as having a "variable scent release", leading some wanting to touch his fluffy tail to receive a breath of strawberry-scented freshness. Others insist it actually releases chloroform to disorient parents and to knock out children to kidnap them, but those people are gay faggots.
The Baby Isn't Mine		Will Vlad and Clara ever truly reconcile? Is the baby actually Vlad's? Is there even really any doubt considering all the clearly-vampiric vampire shit it keeps doing? What about the back child support?! Find out next season!
BUT THAT'S JUST A THEORY		MatPat I don't really care how much you bitch about how broken the FNAF lore is at this point (which it is, don't get me wrong): when you start ranting and raving about William Afton from the Silver Eyes book being Ennard in Eggs Benedict's skin while trying to maintain that FNAF3 is somehow a prequel to FNAF1 AND Scott himself has told you to fuck off, I dunno, maybe it's time to actually fuck off.
Exotic Butters		Your hard-earned reward for a solid week of work at Circus Baby's Pizza World. 👌 👌 👌 E X O T I C B U T T E R S 👌 👌 👌
Circus Baby's Ice Cream Dispenser		Circus Baby's blueprints says she has an internal ice cream dispenser built inside her chest area. I'll give you three guesses where /5N@F/ has decided the ice cream comes out from, and you'll only need two of them.
Jeremy Fitzgerald		The protagonist of FNAF2 and predecessor to Mike Schmidt. Uses a spare Freddy head to trick stupid robots into thinking he's one of them so they won't kill him. Now why couldn't Mike have done that again?
Eggs Benedict		Apparently it turns out Eggs was actually Michael Afton, William Afton's son, all along, who came looking for his sister, got his innards scooped out, and was filled up with four robots made of tubes. They took over his body, lived his life out before the skin rotted to a purple color, and escaped into the sewers, turning Michael into Purple Guy I guess since he was still alive somehow? And he may or may not have died in the 6th game? And he may or may not have been Mike Schmidt? Jesus christ who the fuck knows anymore.
DELETE THIS		This little asshole doesn't even kill you directly, he just comes in, steals your flashlight batteries, and endlessly laughs at you until Foxy shoves his teeth into your face.
Uh oh! How Unfortunate!		Another annoying Balloon Boy lookalike, how unfortunate indeed. When you least expect it, she pops up and activates a random animatronic, you better figure out who she awoke before it's too late. At least she bumps the thread every so often.
Fetishbear Frights		A book series that started off as Goosebumps-style stories with animatronics in an alternative universe took a turn for the... well, we'll let you decide. Yes there is an mpreg story. Yes Scott approved all of the stories in the series.