/r9k/
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| /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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15)
The team anticipates the chance to be alpha as fuck and meet many waifus who will be willing to b-back that ass up at El Monumental. Will they take on the field or will they finally drown on their own tear-filled basements? This team actually lacks pretty much half their physical energy due to their fapping addiction.
Tactics
Team colors: Maroon - (128,0,0) White - (255,255,255)
2015 4chan Spring Babby Cup Export
- Note that Parapark (anthem) and Forever Alone (goalhorn) have been updated to actually sound better thanks to Ved. So be sure to replace your current copies with these new and updated ones.
Roster
Updated soon enough.
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Goal Horns
When tfwnogf scores: >tfw no gf
When Spaghetti scores: Mom's Spaghetti
On an /r9k/ win: CRAWLIN'
Formations
Will appear once Winter occurs.
Rivalries
/r9k/ vs. /adv/: The Beta Bowl
U-umm... We're b-both too scared to pass the ball around. S-so our matches are usually 0 g-goal thrillers...
Cup History
Early managerless era
Due to not having a manager, /r9k/'s players could not do much to prove that they are not as beta as the board they represent. Despite not having any momentum going into the 2012 4chan Spring Babby Cup, The Robots managed to find their first win ever, and it was against /mlp/. Sadly, this was not enough to qualify for the Summer Cup. While trying to recover from this heartbreak, /r9k/ finished the Summer season with a 6-0 loss to /co/, the biggest defeat in the team's history.
A rise (of hatred from others) to the finals
In the 2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup, Tr4pD00r !!Riz8Z+kuSO7 took /r9k/ to new heights, but like many other events in the cup, it did not happen without controversy. The group stage saw /r9k/ get 9 points after beating some questionable competition: /u/, a team copying /sp/'s Summer Cup tactics, /vg/, a team that was using tactics given to them by /u/'s manager at the time, and /b/, a team that was rigged.
At the Round of 16, /cm/ quickly crumbled against /r9k/ in a 5-0 loss where The Neckbears had a 4-0 lead at half time. Fans went from being simply shocked with /r9k/'s winning streak to hating the team after the Beta Bowl in the quarterfinals. Despite /adv/'s defense having three purple defenders, /r9k/ couldn't break through that weak defense and only had one shot on target. /adv/'s offense was not better and after over 120 minutes of dull football, and whiny commentary, it was time for penalty kicks. In the end, it came down to who could spill less spaghetti in their shots, and /r9k/ won 3-2 in the penalty shoot-out after /adv/ missed three shots. Numerous people have gone on to call this the worst match in cup history.
Up next in the semifinals, /tv/ was hoping for an easy win against a tired /r9k/ side, but Japanese Lettuce Hardcore and Sadfrog's doubles took /r9k/ to the finals. The viewers were upset at a cup favorite being eliminated by a hated team, but would get some pleasure out of the final. /wg/'s attack easily breached /r9k/'s tired defense as their fatigue finally caught up with them. A great run came to a pitiful end with a 5-1 loss.
Winter 2013: The losing streak gets rolling
After a failed friendly rematch against /wg/, Tr4d00r surprisingly quit his job as /r9k/'s manager. He would go on to make an autistic confession about being Lo/lit/a some time later, and so his return to /r9k/ management was (and still is) unlikely at best.
Moose !ct1wZnSHeM took over the team for the 2013 4chan Winter Cup, and proceeded to go missing for two of the three group stage matches. Despite this, /sp/ surprisingly struggled against them, but managed to win 2-1 against the Autumn Babby Cup finalists. In the following match, /cm/ got their revenge on /r9k/ with a 4-0 blowout win. Since /x/ had also lost to /sp/ on the same match day, /cm/ and /sp/ both had 6 points, thus sending /r9k/ back to a Babby Cup before the group stage was over.
Both relegated teams had a mediocre match where /x/ got a consolation win over an /r9k/ side that went from being a cup finalist to being a punching bag for everyone. After the Winter Cup was over, it was pointed out on a /vg/ thread that Moose was a /sp/artan and he would be accused of sabotaging the team. Not much came from this because he already wanted to quit after such a bad run in the Winter Cup.
Another failed manager and Arab money
>tfw !!fjYpRE2R+u2 became /r9k/'s manager for the Spring season. After losing 4-2 to /diy/ in a game where /r9k/'s early 2-0 lead meant nothing, and becoming the first team to ever lose to /c/, some wondered if /r9k/ would ever break the losing streak. After /o/ won 3-2 against /r9k/, a single fan finally lost patience with the team. He would go around on Skype offering money to 4chan Cup managers so that they would manage /r9k/, and would name himself Muzzy !vceFUCKYOU on the /vg/ threads. This man would go on to explain that the money being paid would be a "microscopic portion" of inheritance money, and that despite not being from Saudi Arabia, he is, in fact, Arabic.
No one took him up on the offer, and /r9k/ continued to lose until the group stage was over.
Dual management for Autumn
The team's manager for the 2013 Spring Babby Cup misteriously disappeared after Dragongate, and because no one felt like challenging /r9k/, the team became inactive in the Summer. Eventually, /fit/zlsperger !!PUUQhs84Yb3 took over the team and changed his name to Ronery Robot after a failed run in the 2013 4chan Summer Cup. El Negrito !!0FiEhZGyS/D joined him to help out with tactical decisions, and at first, it seemed like success was in /r9k/'s future. In the Autumn Babby Cup friendlies, /r9k/ finally broke the losing streak and started a winning streak with wins against /g/ and /3/.
This run of good form did not continue in the actual 2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup. On the first match for The Robots, /r9k/ could only get a 1-0 win over a managerless /cgl/. Next, /pol/ continued their resurrection with a 4-2 win over /r9k/ where /pol/ scored three goals in under twenty minutes. The spaghetti would continue to flow in the match against /s4s/. At one point, /s4s/ was up 4-2, but /r9k/ came back to draw 4-4. This memorable comeback would only be turned into a heartbreaking end for /r9k/: /cgl/ won the match that followed against /pol/ 4-3 when the Seagulls only needed to win by one goal to take second place and crush /r9k/'s dreams. Upon the culmination of the group, Ronery Robot officially announced his retirement, saddened at not being able to take The Robots to the Winter Cup, but nonetheless glad at helping turn around what was once the laughingstock of the 4chan Cup. This will leave El Negrito in charge of /r9k/ for the future.
Spring Babby Cup Preparations
Upon the resignation of his co-manager, El Negrito !!0FiEhZGyS/D signed a 6 (six) season deal to remain as manager of /r9k/ after outperforming expectations (aka not fall to fetus.) This coincided with the implementation of PES 2014, giving him the chance to recreate the team that he envisioned for the future. Being the tactical mastermind he is, his first order of business was to keep all players that were called up in the Autumn babbies and reuse the standard /r9k/ formation that brought them success. The team was embroiled in an early scandal after El Negrito allowed the players access to the team credit card and a popular camwhore site. With no money on hand for required new kits, the owner was forced to infuse capital or else the team would play with old kits from San Lorenzo, a small team a few miles south. Ongoing restrictions were still in place since Arab-gate that did not allow the team a sponsor, but the manager finally scrounged up the funds to purchase basic kits for the team’s two winter friendlies against /hr/ and /sp/, a win and a draw respectively.
Hope and Despair: 2014 Spring Babby Cup
A successful set of friendlies before the 2014 Spring Babby Cup gave the team high hopes that El Negrito could lead them to victory. In fact, many fans placed /r9k/ on their lists as the team to succeed from the group and finally be able to escape the tight grip the Babby Cup has held on them for more than a year. The first two matches, against /gd/ and /g/, /r9k/ was able to scramble for nil-nil draws to the disappointment and boredom of the fans, and even caused one manager to lose his cool at the press conference, insinuating that the team's tactics were broken and boring.
The defense finally wavered and allowed a goal against /ic/ in the third match, the offensive side simply unable to connect with anything. This match also forced /r9k/ into a tough spot of hoping other matches would go their way, allowing the team to remain viable to escape. The final match saw /r9k/'s offense finally show power, winning against /3/ by 2-1, but other matches did not go their way, effectively dooming the team to another season of pain and feel threads in the Babby Cups
Tumbling Down and Down: 2014 Autumn Babby Cup
What should have been a quiet offseason for /r9k/ as they got ready for the next cup instead turned into a race to find replacements for seven players who suddenly retired, the most unexpected being the face of the team, Robot9001. After giving a speech to his teammates that no one had ever heard before, the board instantly brought in new faces, most notable of which was new striker Elliot Rodger. The Chairman, hoping to finally end the closely approaching two-year drought of a major competition, also brought on board Shuckle !!QKW7kiLRIvE as co-manager.
There was an air of excitement within the Robots and the fans, sensing a Kodak moment approaching with new blood, new tactics, and new management. Landing in Group E of the Autumn Babby Cup, the team felt like they had a high chance of making it out of the group stage if they could grab at least one win against the first two teams it faced, /a/ and /ck/. Instead, what could go wrong had gone wrong, dropping the game against /a/ 4-2, and not faring any better against /ck/, collapsing an early lead to lose 2-1. Third time was the charm for the Robots, landing a 1-0 win against /out/, but the team was once again trapped in a deep hole in the bottom half of the five-team table. Unable to stall memories of previous cups, the team had no morale as they gave up against /n/ with a 0-2 loss and cementing themselves to a single win record, and eventually last place in the Group. As of the time of this writing, no one in management has gotten in contact with any players after management allowed Elliot Rodger the privacy to speak to the players in the locker room after the last match.
During the lead up to the next Babby Cup, it was discovered that El Negrito !!0FiEhZGyS/D had a normalfag side job and didn't have time to even browse /r9k/. The players pressured his co-manager to sack him, with screams of "Normie get out of my board". This resulted in El Negrito resigning, and giving the reigns of the team to Shuckle !!QKW7kiLRIvE for the upcoming 2015 Spring Babby Cup.
Match History
Official Matches
| Date | Opponent | Competition | Result | Scorers |
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| February 12, 2012 |  /soc/
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2012 4chan Spring Babby Cup Friendlies | 1-1 D | Unknown |
| February 25, 2012 |  /adv/
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2012 4chan Spring Babby Cup Friendlies | 1-3 L | Unknown |
| March 23, 2012 |  /sci/
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2012 4chan Spring Babby Cup | 1-1 D |  90+2' Japanese Lettuce Hardcore
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| March 24, 2012 |  /pol/
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2012 4chan Spring Babby Cup | 3-0 L | |
| March 25, 2012 |  /mlp/
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2012 4chan Spring Babby Cup | 2-0 W | 54' Kissless Virgin 80' Robot9001
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| May 12, 2012 | /adv/
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2012 4chan Summer Cup Friendlies | 0-2 L | |
| May 16, 2012 |  /s/
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2012 4chan Summer Cup Friendlies | 1-0 W | 78' Japanese Lettuce Hardcore
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| June 2, 2012 |  /co/
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2012 4chan Summer Cup Friendlies | 6-0 L | |
| August 19, 2012 |  /ck/
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2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies | 3-1 L | 78' Japanese Lettuce Hardcore
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| September 2, 2012 |  /hr/
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2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies | 1-1 D | 26' Robot9001
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| September 9, 2012 |  /cgl/
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2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies | 1-0 W | 22' Robot9001
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| October 13, 2012 |  /u/
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2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 3-2 W | 31' Japanese Lettuce Hardcore 37' Feito-chan 86' Robot9001
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| October 19, 2012 |  /b/
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2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 2-1 W | 6', 67' Japanese Lettuce Hardcore
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| October 20, 2012 |  /vg/
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2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 3-2 W | 53', 60' Robot9001 81' Japanese Lettuce Hardcore
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| October 21, 2012 |  /cm/
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2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 5-0 W | 2', 11', 16' Robot9001 25' Japanese Lettuce Hardcore 77' Sadfrog
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| October 21, 2012 | /adv/
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2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 0-0 W | 3-2 W on penalties |
| October 21, 2012 |  /tv/
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2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 4-2 W | 26', 90+2' Sadfrog 36', 87' Japanese Lettuce Hardcore
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| October 21, 2012 |  /wg/
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2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 1-5 L | 25' Japanese Lettuce Hardcore
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| December 8, 2012 | /wg/
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2013 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies | 1-2 L | 80' Robot9001
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| February 9, 2013 |  /sp/
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2013 4chan Winter Cup | 1-2 L | 82' Shores
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| February 15, 2013 | /cm/
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2013 4chan Winter Cup | 0-4 L | |
| February 17, 2013 |  /x/
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2013 4chan Winter Cup | 1-2 L | 87' >tfw no gf
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| April 5, 2013 |  /diy/
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2013 4chan Spring Babby Cup Friendlies | 2-4 L | 1', 7' Robot9001
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| April 13, 2013 |  /c/
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2013 4chan Spring Babby Cup Friendlies | 1-4 L | 34' Robot9001
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| May 4, 2013 |  /o/
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2013 4chan Spring Babby Cup | 2-3 L | 61' Robot9001 84' >tfw no gf
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| May 10, 2013 | /u/
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2013 4chan Spring Babby Cup | 0-3 L | |
| May 12, 2013 | /mlp/
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2013 4chan Spring Babby Cup | 1-2 L | 6' >tfw no gf
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| September 28, 2013 |  /g/
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2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies | 0-1 W | 58' Kissless Virgin
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| October 5, 2013 |  /3/
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2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies | 1-3 W | 2' (pen.), 57' Robot9001 90' Sadfrog
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| November 16, 2013 | /cgl/
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2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 1-0 W | 38' Chad Thundercock
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| November 22, 2013 | /pol/
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2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 4-2 L | 6' >tfw no gf 21' Robot9001
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| November 24, 2013 |  /s4s/
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2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 4-4 D | 2', 67', 77' Robot9001 30' Kissless Virgin
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| January 18, 2014 | /hr/
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2014 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies | 2-0 W | 47' >tfw no gf 90+' Robot9001
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| January 26, 2014 | /sp/
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2014 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies | 2-2 D | 28' Robot9001 44' Kissless Virgin
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| April 5, 2014 |  /gd/
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2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup | 0-0 D | |
| April 11, 2014 | /g/
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2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup | 0-0 D | |
| April 12, 2014 |  /ic/
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2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup | 1-0 L | |
| April 18, 2014 | /3/
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2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup | 2-1 W | 9' Sadfrog 74' Kissless Virgin
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| May 30, 2014 |  /mu/
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2014 4chan Summer Cup Friendlies | 1-2 L | 27' Robot9001
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| June 1, 2014 | /sci/
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2014 4chan Summer Cup Friendlies | 1-1 D | 42' Sadfrog
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| October 18, 2014 |  /a/
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2014 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 2-4 L | 85' Sadfrog 90+' Elliot Rodger
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| October 19, 2014 | /ck/
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2014 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 1-2 L | 24' Sadfrog
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| October 25, 2014 |  /out/
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2014 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 1-0 W | 44' Sadfrog
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| October 31, 2014 |  /n/
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2014 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 0-2 L | |
| April 24, 2015 | /x/
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2015 4chan Spring Babby Cup | ||
| April 26, 2015 |  /fit/
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2015 4chan Spring Babby Cup | ||
| May 8, 2015 | /out/
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2015 4chan Spring Babby Cup | ||
| May 9, 2015 |  /vp/
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2015 4chan Spring Babby Cup |
Hall of Fame
Class of 2014
Rest In Peace, Robot9001
2011-2014
Gone, but not forgotten
Mootbloxx
2011-2014
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