Summary
Matchday 1
This matchup of two storied Elites ended in a dramatic draw, as poor conditioning on /int/ was matched by spaghetti and missed plays by /tg/ in the first half of the game. /int/'s only good forward, Polandball, scored a goal early in the first half, only to have the moment ruined by the crash of PES. It seemed that we might witness a repeat of /tg/'s friendly match with /v/. A series of minor tweaks and subs by TheDM proved the tactical genius of /tg/'s strategy, with team sponsor Crazy Hassan and cocaine-fueled madman Doomrider tying the match with impressive plays.
Underdog team /u/ completely blew out /fit/ in an orgy of cute girls and bloodletting. In a surprise tweest, both managers were absent during the match, leaving the game entirely to prepared tactics. Shock and awe followed the anthems as /u/ demolished the /fit/ defence and prevented the Elite team from scoring or even challenging their dominance on the field.
Matchday 2
After this game, we can safely say /fit/ is the Sick Man of the 4chan Cup. With an impressive 8.0 performance by /int/ favorite Putin, /int/ secured the death of one of their rival Elites and brought Mother Russia the glory of victory. We fear the day we see a red Polanball, Putin, and Spurdo, for they will surely be unstoppable then.
Against a strong 4-4-2 formation led by ace striker Homuhomu, with their defenders covered in blue conditioning, /tg/ rolled under the skillcheck needed to stop /u/. But hope was not lost, and the purest form of love and COOOOCAAAAIIIIIINNNNNEEEEE found themselves equally motivating as /tg/ and /u/ ended a nail-biting match with a game-tying hat trick by Doomrider.
Matchday 3
With the DEP fix and the game unrigged, /tg/ was unable to overcome the dense /fit/ defense. Zyzz scored a quick goal and took the lead in the match, a match that quickly descended into murderball, with /fit/ player Steroid getting a red card in the second half of the game. Despite a lucky shot by Crazy Hassan, the purple conditioning of Muscle Wizard and /tg/'s offence getting swamped by the super-defensive /fit/ formation meant that there were very few chances for the Fa/tg/uys to shoot. Missed headers, wide shots, and disappointing play by The Whizzard cost /tg/ the game. /fit/ dragged another elite down with them, setting the stage for a brutal revenge match in the Autumn Babby Cup.
Standings
| Team
|
Pld
|
W
|
D
|
L
|
GF
|
GA
|
GD
|
Pts
|
 /u/ |
3 |
2 |
1 |
0 |
9 |
4 |
5 |
7
|
 /int/ |
3 |
1 |
1 |
1 |
7 |
5 |
2 |
4
|
 /fit/ |
3 |
1 |
0 |
2 |
3 |
9 |
-6 |
3
|
 /tg/ |
3 |
0 |
2 |
1 |
6 |
7 |
-1 |
2
|
/int/ v /tg/
| 16 August 2013
|
/int/
|
2-2
|
/tg/
|
20:00
|
Polandball  15'
Putin 26'
|
|
69' Crazy Hassan
83' Doomrider
|
Campo de Futbol de Vallecas
Attendance: 1340
|
|
|
| GK |
20 |
Fuck Off, We're Full
|
| RB |
9 |
Yuropoor
|
| CB |
15 |
yDNA Haplogroup |
|
 66'
|
| CB |
10 |
Pay Debnts
|
| LB |
11 |
Las Malvinas |
|
 66'
|
| DM |
16 |
Iranian Furry
|
| DM |
4 |
Non-Country |
|
66'
|
| AM |
7 |
>argentina >white
|
| AM |
17 |
Spurdo Sparde
|
| AM |
21 |
Polandball
|
| CF |
23 |
Putin
|
| Substitutions:
|
| CB |
6 |
Master Race |
|
 66'
|
| DM |
13 |
Muh Heritage |
|
66'
|
| Manager:
|
| isa !!EA4m1qko0c/
|
|
|
|
|
| GK |
33 |
Tankred Endures
|
| RB |
15 |
Sir Bearington
|
| CB |
1 |
Nigramarines
|
| CB |
46 |
That Guy |
|
66'
|
| LB |
24 |
Cultist-chan
|
| DM |
64 |
/tg/ Chess |
|
66'
|
| DM |
60 |
Mana Weave |
|
66'
|
| CM |
11 |
Creed
|
| RW |
16 |
Muscle Wizard
|
| LW |
32 |
Crazy Hassan
|
| CF |
9 |
Doomrider
|
| Substitutions:
|
| CB |
0 |
Anal Circumference |
|
66'
|
| DM |
13 |
O.M. Henderson |
|
66'
|
| DM |
24 |
Pun-Pun |
|
66'
|
| Manager:
|
| The DM !!4ejBZS7hAn9
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Doomrider (/tg/)
|
|
|
Match Stats
|
|
| 3 (3)
|
Shots (On Target)
|
5 (3)
|
| 5 (2)
|
Fouls (Offside)
|
5 (3)
|
| 0
|
Free Kicks
|
5
|
| 0
|
Free Kicks scored
|
0
|
| 4
|
Corner Kicks
|
1
|
| 13
|
Interceptions
|
21
|
| 56%
|
Possession
|
44%
|
| 75%
|
Passes Completed
|
86%
|
| 10
|
Tackles Won
|
8
|
| 1
|
Saves
|
1
|
Note: PES froze at 17:09, probably because of the excessive /tg/ WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH chants. The streamer decided to crash PES on purpose and restarted the game at the point where it froze, with /int/ leading 1-0 (the score at the time of freezing).
/fit/ v /u/
| 16 August 2013
|
/fit/
|
0-4
|
/u/
|
20:30
|
|
|
39' Purest Form Of Love
52' Homuhomu
60', 67' Teru Time
|
Wembley Stadium
Attendance: 1324
|
|
|
| GK |
1 |
Scooby
|
| RB |
5 |
Do You Even Lift
|
| CB |
3 |
Muh Gains
|
| CB |
15 |
6'4
|
| LB |
12 |
Squatz |
|
73'
|
| RM |
11 |
Tinytrip
|
| CM |
13 |
Gomad |
|
71'
|
| CM |
19 |
Insecurity |
|
73'
|
| LM |
6 |
No Homo
|
| CF |
20 |
Jeff Seid
|
| CF |
9 |
Zyzz
|
| Substitutions:
|
| CM |
4 |
Dmitry Klokov |
|
71'
|
| CM |
8 |
Ottermode |
|
73'
|
| LB |
24 |
Steroids |
|
73'
|
| Manager:
|
| /fit/zlsperger !!PUUQhs84Yb3
|
|
|
|
|
| GK |
13 |
Madokami
|
| RB |
9 |
Ume-Tentei
|
| CB |
16 |
Goggles
|
| CB |
17 |
Onee-sama
|
| LB |
10 |
Science Babies
|
| CM |
8 |
Bitchnatsu |
|
63'
|
| CM |
1 |
Macarons |
|
64'
|
| RM |
7 |
Teru Time
|
| AM |
19 |
Purest Form of Love
|
| LM |
6 |
Akkarin |
|
63'
|
| CF |
69 |
Homuhomu
|
| Substitutions:
|
| CM |
5 |
Archery Club |
|
63'
|
| CM |
9 |
Erica Hartmann |
|
64'
|
| Manager:
|
| retortelement !!sDQQboD5H1f
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Teru Time (/u/)
|
|
|
Match Stats
|
|
| 5 (3)
|
Shots (On Target)
|
6 (5)
|
| 0 (0)
|
Fouls (Offside)
|
2 (0)
|
| 2
|
Free Kicks
|
0
|
| 0
|
Free Kicks scored
|
0
|
| 3
|
Corner Kicks
|
1
|
| 15
|
Interceptions
|
18
|
| 54%
|
Possession
|
46%
|
| 85%
|
Passes Completed
|
83%
|
| 7
|
Tackles Won
|
15
|
| 1
|
Saves
|
3
|
/int/ v /fit/
| 18 August 2013
|
/int/
|
4–1
|
/fit/
|
20:00
|
Putin 22', 34', 65'
Spurdo Spadre 78'
|
|
69' Muh Gains
|
Konami Stadium
Attendance: 1510
|
|
|
| GK |
5 |
The Janitor
|
| RB |
9 |
Yuropoor |
|
69'
|
| CB |
15 |
yDNA Haplogroup |
|
78'
|
| CB |
22 |
Hilo Latino
|
| LB |
11 |
Las Malvinas
|
| DM |
13 |
Muh Heritage |
|
25' |
|
84'
|
| DM |
12 |
/int/erpals |
|
84'
|
| AM |
7 |
>argentina >white
|
| AM |
21 |
Polandball
|
| AM |
17 |
Spurdo Spadre
|
| CF |
23 |
Putin
|
| Substitutions:
|
| CB |
6 |
Master Race |
|
78'
|
| DM |
16 |
Iranian Furry |
|
84'
|
| DM |
19 |
Rare Flag |
|
84'
|
| Manager:
|
| isa !!EA4m1qko0c/
|
|
|
|
|
| GK |
1 |
Scooby
|
| RB |
16 |
Oatz
|
| CB |
2 |
Gyno
|
| CB |
3 |
Muh Gains
|
| LB |
12 |
Squatz
|
| RM |
11 |
Tinytrip
|
| CM |
19 |
Insecurity |
|
78'
|
| CM |
7 |
Manlet |
|
59'
|
| LM |
6 |
No Homo
|
| CF |
20 |
Jeff Seid
|
| CF |
9 |
Zyzz
|
| Substitutions:
|
| CM |
4 |
Dmitry Klokov |
|
78'
|
| Manager:
|
| /fit/zlsperger !!PUUQhs84Yb3
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Putin (/int/)
|
|
|
Match Stats
|
|
| 7 (6)
|
Shots (On Target)
|
4 (1)
|
| 4 (0)
|
Fouls (Offside)
|
2 (0)
|
| 2
|
Free Kicks
|
4
|
| 0
|
Free Kicks scored
|
0
|
| 1
|
Corner Kicks
|
1
|
| 27
|
Interceptions
|
20
|
| 50%
|
Possession
|
50%
|
| 76%
|
Passes Completed
|
76%
|
| 10
|
Tackles Won
|
8
|
| 0
|
Saves
|
2
|
/tg/ v /u/
| 18 August 2013
|
/tg/
|
3–3
|
/u/
|
20:30
|
Doomrider 19', 35', 72'
|
|
16', 42' Homuhomu
52' Teru Time
|
Alpha Complex
Attendance: 1519
|
|
|
| GK |
33 |
Tankred
|
| RB |
6 |
Kromgol
|
| CB |
1 |
Nigramarines |
|
83'
|
| CB |
0 |
Anal Circumference
|
| LB |
20 |
Los Tiburon |
|
66'
|
| DM |
64 |
/tg/ Chess
|
| DM |
10 |
Pun-Pun |
|
66'
|
| CM |
11 |
Creed
|
| RM |
32 |
Crazy Hassan
|
| LM |
9 |
Doomrider
|
| CF |
16 |
Muscle Wizard
|
| Substitutions:
|
| CB |
19 |
Deep Rot |
|
66'
|
| DM |
13 |
O.M. Henderson |
|
66'
|
| LB |
3 |
Atlas |
|
83'
|
| Manager:
|
| The DM !!4ejBZS7hAn9
|
|
|
|
|
| GK |
22 |
Reo Kawamura
|
| RB |
31 |
Kigo
|
| CB |
44 |
Angst and Drama
|
| CB |
2 |
Namori
|
| LB |
21 |
Feito-chan
|
| RM |
12 |
Teru Time
|
| CM |
4 |
Bitchnatsu |
|
66'
|
| CM |
55 |
Symmetrical Docking |
|
66'
|
| LM |
14 |
Akkarin
|
| CF |
10 |
Homuhomu
|
| CF |
11 |
Purest Form of Love
|
| Substitutions:
|
| CM |
50 |
Houkago Tea Time |
|
66'
|
| CM |
5 |
Archery Club |
|
66'
|
| Manager:
|
| retortelement !!sDQQboD5H1f
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Doomrider (/tg/)
|
|
|
Match Stats
|
|
| 9 (6)
|
Shots (On Target)
|
9 (7)
|
| 1 (0)
|
Fouls (Offside)
|
2 (0)
|
| 2
|
Free Kicks
|
1
|
| 0
|
Free Kicks scored
|
0
|
| 1
|
Corner Kicks
|
2
|
| 18
|
Interceptions
|
20
|
| 51%
|
Possession
|
49%
|
| 78%
|
Passes Completed
|
80%
|
| 9
|
Tackles Won
|
13
|
| 3
|
Saves
|
3
|
/fit/ v /tg/
| 24 August 2013
|
/fit/
|
2–1
|
/tg/
|
20:00
|
Zyzz 9', 34'
|
|
39' Crazy Hassan
|
Alpha Complex
Attendance: 1192
|
|
|
| GK |
22 |
Hodgetwins
|
| RB |
16 |
Oatz
|
| CB |
21 |
T-Rex
|
| CB |
18 |
Rippletits
|
| LB |
10 |
Bear Mode |
|
70'
|
| RM |
11 |
Tinytrip |
|
47'
|
| CM |
7 |
Manlet
|
| CM |
8 |
Ottermode |
|
54'
|
| LM |
6 |
No Homo
|
| CF |
20 |
Jeff Seid
|
| CF |
9 |
Zyzz
|
| Substitutions:
|
| LB |
14 |
Steroids |
|
70' |
|
 72'
|
| Manager:
|
| /fit/zlsperger !!PUUQhs84Yb3
|
|
|
|
|
| GK |
18 |
The Whizzard
|
| RB |
15 |
Sir Bearington
|
| CB |
24 |
Cultist-chan
|
| LB |
3 |
Atlas |
|
8' |
|
70'
|
| DM |
20 |
Los Tiburon
|
| DM |
19 |
Deep Rot |
|
52' |
|
70'
|
| AM |
64 |
/tg/ Chess
|
| AM |
11 |
Creed |
|
13'
|
| RW |
32 |
Crazy Hassan
|
| CF |
9 |
Doomrider
|
| LW |
16 |
Muscle Wizard
|
| Substitutions:
|
| RM |
0 |
Anal Circumference |
|
70'
|
| DM |
60 |
Mana Weave |
|
70'
|
| Manager:
|
| The DM !!4ejBZS7hAn9
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Zyzz (/fit/)
|
|
|
Match Stats
|
|
| 5 (3)
|
Shots (On Target)
|
6 (3)
|
| 5 (0)
|
Fouls (Offside)
|
6 (1)
|
| 6
|
Free Kicks
|
5
|
| 0
|
Free Kicks scored
|
0
|
| 2
|
Corner Kicks
|
1
|
| 15
|
Interceptions
|
22
|
| 53%
|
Possession
|
47%
|
| 81%
|
Passes Completed
|
81%
|
| 12
|
Tackles Won
|
10
|
| 3
|
Saves
|
0
|
/u/ v /int/
| 24 August 2013
|
/u/
|
2–1
|
/int/
|
20:30
|
Homuhomu 14' (pen.), 75'
|
|
89' Putin
|
Alpha Complex
Attendance: 1178
|
|
|
| GK |
33 |
Spitting Distance
|
| RB |
31 |
Kigo |
|
66'
|
| CB |
23 |
Goggles
|
| CB |
2 |
Namori
|
| LB |
28 |
Science Babies |
|
66'
|
| DM |
4 |
Bitchnatsu |
|
66'
|
| DM |
55 |
Symmetrical Docking
|
| RM |
12 |
Teru Time
|
| AM |
11 |
Purest Form of Love
|
| LM |
14 |
Akkarin
|
| CF |
10 |
Homuhomu
|
| Substitutions:
|
| LB |
39 |
Shiznat |
|
66'
|
| RB |
20 |
Befriending |
|
66'
|
| DM |
5 |
Archery Club |
|
66'
|
| Manager:
|
| retortelement !!sDQQboD5H1f
|
|
|
|
|
| GK |
20 |
Fuck Off We're Full
|
| RB |
18 |
Remove Kebab |
|
45+'
|
| CB |
3 |
Huehuehuehuehue
|
| CB |
22 |
Hilo Latino
|
| LB |
1 |
Engrish
|
| DM |
16 |
Iranian Furry |
|
66'
|
| DM |
13 |
Muh Heritage |
|
32' |
|
45'
|
| CM |
7 |
>argentina >white
|
| AM |
21 |
Polandball
|
| AM |
17 |
Spurdo Spadre
|
| CF |
23 |
Putin
|
| Substitutions:
|
| DM |
9 |
Yuropoor |
|
45'
|
| DM |
19 |
Rare Flag |
|
66' |
|
74'
|
| Manager:
|
| isa !!EA4m1qko0c/
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Akkarin (/u/)
|
|
|
Match Stats
|
|
| 7 (4)
|
Shots (On Target)
|
5 (4)
|
| 1 (0)
|
Fouls (Offside)
|
5 (0)
|
| 4
|
Free Kicks
|
1
|
| 0
|
Free Kicks scored
|
0
|
| 1
|
Corner Kicks
|
3
|
| 24
|
Interceptions
|
20
|
| 51%
|
Possession
|
49%
|
| 78%
|
Passes Completed
|
74%
|
| 9
|
Tackles Won
|
12
|
| 3
|
Saves
|
2
|
