/jp/ Roster

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Revision as of 00:36, 20 September 2020 by IEM (talk | contribs) (Undo revision 173564 by ArielPaolo (talk))
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Roster

Sub Starter Silver Gold

Goalkeepers

Pos. Name Picture Description
  GK
The YUA Line YUA.png YUA returns to play for /jp/ having found her true purpose in life: Keeping anybody else from passing the YUA line.
  GK
Captain Meido Captainmeido.jpg The trusty /jp/ meido is always there to keep crossboarders and shitposters at bay, so who better than her to stop the opponents attempts on the goal?

-Original model by yas

Defenders

Pos. Name Picture Description
  CB
sage Sage.png sage has seen better days. Ever since he became invisible, people seem to have forgotten he exists and have stopped using him, even as a downvote. But his invisibility has a silver lining to it, since the offense will never see his tackles coming. Not a very ethical tactic, but you gotta play dirty sometimes.
  CB
TAKE IT EASY! Takeiteasy.jpg These abominations with passing resemblances to Touhou characters aren't too good at playing football on virtue of having no legs, but seem to have an uncanny ability to attract all the tackles from the opposing players, which makes them a great distraction.
  LB
Corndog Tenshi Corndogtenshi.png Corndog Tenshi hails from historic Route 66 (or at least that's where we always find her). Her love of football is only surpassed by her love of corndogs.

-Original model by alva

  RB
Fumos Fumos.jpg A brand of Touhou plushies that are popular on /jp/ due to their cuteness, their wide variety of characters and for being generally affordable.
  CB
Ohayou Ohayou.png Being the embodiment of mountain echoes, Kyouko Kasodani acts as the self-appointed Gensokyo alarm clock. Every day at 6 A.M she flies to the top of the Youkai Mountain and lets out an OHAYOU that wakes up everyone on Gensokyo. Despite earning the eternal hate of the lazier Gensokyans like this, she is very commited to this endeavor.
  CB
(´・ω・`) Shobon.jpeg An emoticon that became (in)famous after it was used frequently in the 2ch story of Denko, where a lonely guy tries to get a girlfriend and fails spectacularly. NOTE TO COMMENTATORS: It's pronounced shobon.
Marisa1.png Marisa2.png Marisa3.png Marisa4.pngMarisa5.png
  LB
Autism Autism.png A quality that every /jp/sie should have. It allows you to perfom feats such as 1CCing every Touhou game on Lunatic or learning Japanese for the sole purpose of reading VNs. Rumour says that if your autism is strong enough you get rewarded with a government paycheck every month. Living the dream.
  LB
Flanfly Flanfly.png It's always 2AM somewhere.

-Original model by Suke

  RB
Beato Beato.png *cackles*
  RB
YJSNPI YJSPNI.png From another gay japanese porno and thankfully isn't ruined by shitty bait and switch memes and tik tok youngins, YJSPNI comes from manatsu no yo no inmu, which is one of the biggest rabbit holes you can go down for pornography. Theres endless 音MAD's dedicated to this, alongside a voice drama in Cookie☆ / クッキー☆ which has it's own mess of amateur seiyuus who have been harassed online. However, of all of them, Yaju is the most recognizable face of all, most notably his interview

Midfielders

Pos. Name Picture Description
  AMF
Get out of /jp/ Marisa get out of jp.png Due to her abrasiveness and bluntness, Marisa is the perfect candidate for letting people know that /jp/ is a board where bullshit is not tolerated. These qualities also make her an excellent captain for the team.

During Comiket, when the influx of Chinese visitors to /jp/ grows greatly, she sometimes gets help from Hong Meiling to remind them to get out.

-Original model by Ki

  AMF
Japanese Bird Japanesebird.jpg A budgie with a passion for cooking. His favorite dish to make is pasta, be it spaghetti or penne rigate. He and his other bird friends are protected /jp/ heritage.
  DMF
Billy Herrington Billy Herrington.jpg Popular icon of the Gachimugi series, and easily recognizable for his figure and presence. RIP Billy ;_;7
  AMF
Klown Kunny Klassic Klown Kunny.png Roriconia runs rampant on /jp/, in no small part thanks to Clownpiece. With those hips and skin tight dress, theres a reason why most /jp/sies want to fuck this one fairy.
  DMF
Sachiko Sachiko.jpg Taken from the Idolm@ster wiki: "The standard skill for most of the girls in the game is to buff her own type, or debuff an opposing type. Sachiko's first S Rare was also the first card in the game to debuff its own kind, weakening enemy Cutes so that Sachiko could be the cutest." I feel there's no better description for her.

By the way, don't mention Fatalpulse near her fans.

  AMF
Kizuna Ai JPkizuna.png From atop her throne as Japan's #1 Vtuber, Ai-chan sets her sights on the final frontier for artificial intelligence: virtual divegrass.
  AMF
The Narrative Narrative.png Hololivers are playing football now? Anyone got the narrative on this?
  DMF
Akane-Chan Akane.png When asked her feelings on being moved out of the goal into the outfield, Akane had this to say: "Seyana."

-Original model by kur

  DMF
wich2huwudufuq Wich2huwudufuq.jpeg A question that keeps every Touhou fan up at night: Which Touhou would I fuck? Do you go for the innocent lolis like Cirno, or for the experienced hags like Yukari? Vanilla lovemaking with Youmu, or the most depraved sexual acts with Sanae? Do you go for a normal human girl like Reimu or Marisa or you prefer more exotic stuff, such as Wakasagihime? Whatever your tastes are, most likely there will be a Touhou that can satisfy them.

Attackers

Pos. Name Picture Description
  CF
Cirno Cirno.jpg Sometimes idiotic, always boastful, Cirno is a centerfielder with an ice cold touch and a red hot passion.

Former players

Position Name Picture Description
  RB
Chu-Chu Chu Chu.png Going back to smile town
  CB
Ero Ruins Eroge Ero Ruins Eroge.jpg Maybe, but gacha ruins everything.
  RB
Why is /jp/ so shitty? Bawson.jpg The world may never know.