/oilels/

/oilels/
After 10 soul-crushing years
/oilels/ - Edmonton Oilers
Founded November 1, 1971 Owner Daryl Katz General manager Ken Holland Head coach N/A IRL manager HarryEnfield Team colors HEX color 9C6D01 Oilel Copper Top scorer McJesus (25) Top assister THE FINAL SOLUTION (13) Captain McJesus Nickname Oilels Home arena N/A
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY 13 2 10 25 52%
GF GA GD 52 46 +6
Biggest win /ncaah/  0–4  /oilels/ 9/29/17 Biggest defeat /SuperGT/  4–0  /oilels/ 01/27/19 First match /mild/  1–0  /oilels/ 9/15/17
Team music
Anthem Heaven In Alberta Playoff Anthem (Copper and Blue) Blood Of Heroes Goal horn THE DREAM Alt. Goal Horn THE FINAL SOLUTION scores
Kits

Roster

No. Position Player 12   GK Twelve Years Of Bad Management 0   CB >No Defence 44   CB Chris Pronger's Contract 2   CB Bouchard Bomb 06   DMF THE DREAM OF '06 93   CMF The Nuge 94   CMF Ryan Smyth's Mullet 98   RWF Punished Bulju 18   LWF James "The Real Deal" Neal 29   SS THE FINAL SOLUTION 97   CF McJesus

No. Position Player 19   GK >Finnish Goaltending 76   CB DA BURR 77   CB Swedish Defense 25   CB Male Nurse 5   CB Oilers Won The Trade 15   CB The Ghost of Chiarelli 64   DMF Prospect Graveyard 60   DMF Granny Smith 89   CMF 8 Point Gagner 83   CMF Patrik Stefan Empty Net Apology 44   RWF Big Kass 16   LWF J.J. Pajeet

Player	Description
>Finnish Goaltending	Mikko Koskinen
Twelve Years Of Bad Management	Bad decisions galore
BOUCHARD BOMB	Evan Bouchard can crank it
>No Defense	Almost no notable D-men since Chris Pronger
Swedish Defense	Klefbom and Larsson baybee
Chris Pronger's Contract	If he won't come back then I can at least have his contract /abandonment issues
Oilers Won The Trade	Thank you New Jersey Devils
Male Nurse	Darnell please pan out
McJesus	Our lord and saviour
THE FINAL SOLUTION	Based Leon Draisaitl
James "The Real Deal" Neal	Gives me The Real Feels
Revolving Door of Wingers	Who gets to play with McJesus this week?
J.J. Pajeet	Only other pajeet than Kadri to play in the NHL
Patrik Stefan Empty Net Apology	CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT WE JUST SAW
Granny Smith	Markus Granlund
Ryan Smyth's Mullet	2nd in majesty only to Jagr
Prospect Graveyard	Where careers go to die
The Nuge	NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE
8 Point Gagner	4 goals 4 assists >shitcago
THE DREAM OF '06	What if Roloson never got hurt...
Big Kass	S A W F T
DA BURR	Ethan has spirit of Bear
The Ghost of Chiarelli	Bad contracts still lingering

Awards

Player	Award - Season
McJesus	Hart Memorial Trophy (MVP) - /hoc/ League 2017
McJesus	Rocket Richard (Most Goals) - /hoc/ League 2017
McJesus	Golden Boot - Beta Bowl 3

Match History

Date	Opponent	Competition	Result	Scorers
15 September 2017	/mild/	/hoc/ League 2017 Regular Season	0-1 L
22 September 2017	/broons/	/hoc/ League 2017 Regular Season	3-4 L	57', 63', 90+3' McJesus
29 September 2017	/ncaah/	/hoc/ League 2017 Regular Season	4-0 W	50' Poolparty  58' McJesus  80' L O O C H  82' The Final Solution
6 October 2017	/stors/	/hoc/ League 2017 Regular Season	4-2 W	22', 35' McJesus  62', 82' The Final Solution
13 October 2017	/rags/	/hoc/ League 2017 Regular Season	3-5 L	6' Poolparty  11' L O O C H  14' McJesus
20 October 2017	/drw/	/hoc/ League 2017 Regular Season	0-2 L
20 October 2017	/mild/	/hoc/ League 2017 Regular Season	4-0 W	10', 87' McJesus  45+1' Poolparty  68' The Final Solution
17 November 2017	/snes/	/hoc/ League 2017 Regular Season	2-0 W	45+1' Poolparty  73' MacConcussion
15 December 2017	/stors/	/hoc/ League 2017 Regular Season	0-2 L
15 December 2017	/ncaah/	/hoc/ League 2017 Regular Season	4-0 W	25', 84' McJesus  31' The Final Solution  90+3' Poolparty
22 December 2017	/stors/	/hoc/ League 2017 Playoffs - Semi-Finals	0-1 L
22 December 2017	/stors/	/hoc/ League 2017 Playoffs - Semi-Finals	3-2 W (a.e.t.)	20' Poolparty  36' The Final Solution  92' McJesus
22 December 2017	/stors/	/hoc/ League 2017 Playoffs - Semi-Finals	1-3 L	88' The Final Solution
January 19, 2019	/copalib/	/sp/erb Owl 2019 Group Stage	0-1 L
January 20, 2019	/isles/	/sp/erb Owl 2019 Group Stage	3-1 W	13' PoolParty  45+1' L O O C H  69' McJesus
January 25, 2019	/trb/	/sp/erb Owl 2019 Group Stage	3-2 W	8', 57' McJesus  85' The Final Solution
January 26, 2019	/ncaah/	/sp/erb Owl 2019 Playoff Round	2-1 W	13' The Final Solution  90+5' McJesus
January 27, 2019	/SuperGT/	/sp/erb Owl 2019 Quarterfinals	0-4 L
March 21, 2019	/gt/	Beta Bowl 3 Group Stage	1-0 W	73' Poolparty
March 22, 2019	/ice/	Beta Bowl 3 Group Stage	2-2 D	5', 28' McJesus
March 24, 2019	/bang/	Beta Bowl 3 Group Stage	3-3 D	11' McJesus  40' (pen.), 63' The Final Solution
March 30, 2019	/poland/	Beta Bowl 3 Round of 16	3-3 W (5-4 PK)	82', 90+0', 120+0' McJesus  90+3' The Final Solution
March 31, 2019	/bw/	Beta Bowl 3 Quarterfinal	3-1 W	45+1' Sucks At Hockey  76', 84' The Final Solution
March 31, 2019	/r9k/	Beta Bowl 3 Semifinal	4-3 W	20', 45+2', 69' McJesus  81' Yung Drake
March 31, 2019	/cfb/	Beta Bowl 3 Final	0-3 L
	/cantpucks/	/hoc/ League 2019 Regular Season
	/vgk/	/hoc/ League 2019 Regular Season
	/shorks/	/hoc/ League 2019 Regular Season
	/jerks/	/hoc/ League 2019 Regular Season
	/ncaah/	/hoc/ League 2019 Regular Season
	/mdck/	/hoc/ League 2019 Regular Season

Statistics

Player	Goals
McJesus	25
THE FINAL SOLUTION	14
Poolparty	8
L O O C H	3
Sucks At Hockey	1
Yung Drake	1

Player	Assists
THE FINAL SOLUTION	13
Poolparty	7
McJesus	4
L O O C H	3
Ryan Smyth's Mullet	3
Sucks At Hockey	2
Pre-Cocaine Jarret Stoll	1
Patrik Stefan Empty Net Apology	1
Chris Pronger's Contract	1

Player	Saves
Twelve Years of Bad Management	42
Clam TalBOT	28
>Finnish Goaltending	6

• Players in italics are retired

Rivalries

/cfb/ - Skates vs. Spikes Derby	In /sp/erb Owl 2019, /cfb/ got their shit kicked in by 2 /hoc/ teams during the group stage, and ever since they've seethed at anything /hoc/ When these two teams finally met in the final match of Beta Bowl 3, tensions and hype were very high. Unfortunately, with the help of a brace from 'BAMAWINSLOL, /cfb/ stole the championship Next time, /oilels/ vow revenge. /hoc/ LIVES
0-0-1

Played	GF	GA	GD
1	0	3	-3