/s4s/
[s4s] (stylized /s4s/ for cup play) is a virtual professional football team representing the Shit 4chan Says board on 4chan. [s4s], as a board, was originally thought to be an April Fools' joke, but is now home to some of the D A N K E S T M E M E S and best GETs on all of 4chan. The team's cup history is long and winding, with [s4s] having played in every level of the cup, ranging from the first ever Babby Cup Qualifiers to the Elite level of play. [s4s]'s most recent cup performance was a 19th-place finish in the 2018 4chan Spring Babby Cup, and as such they will be participating in the 2018 4chan Autumn Babby Cup. GED HYB! :DDD
We now have an Ebin Nice Discord for all you nice fans!
For when we win the cup: Hallelujah - Valinor Quartet
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Roster
See also:
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History
For older history: /s4s/ history
2018 4chan Spring Babby Cup
After the disappointment of the previous Autumn, Dubs FC and its supporters were looking towards the upcoming Spring for positive results. Returning this tournament was the Megababby format, [s4s] were drawn into Group B, along with /t/, /c/, /a/ and /jp/. The first group match, against /jp/, went mostly to plan, as a Bateman goal and a kek-worthy Slut Sanae own goal gave [s4s] a 2-0 win. However, :^) was a little too cheeky, and got himself sent off through a straight red card obtained in added time of the first half. The second match, however, did not turn out as well, with the other half of the [a/jp] duo running rampant and winning 2-1. [s4s] led at one point in the match, with Bateman opening the scoring in the 19th minute, but /a/ eventually managed to have some of what would become 12 shots hit the back of the net. The third match, against much-maligned /t/ was what one would call "a punch to the throat". [s4s] went down by a goal twice (with 50 Threads and ThePirateBay scoring at 24 and 55 minutes respectively), and both times were able to draw level, with Bateman responding in the 41st and Keksandra leaving the second equalizer until the 87th minute. However, >uTorrent again flung the Pirates in front at the death, and repeating the feat a third time was simply too much for [s4s]. The fourth and final match against /c/ was a solid 3-1 victory, a back-and-forth match in which [s4s] were able to convert their chances, with Bateman bagging a brace and Keksandra getting a goal of her own two minutes into added time. Dubs FC looked to have done enough to get through to the next round of play with their acquired point tally. Alas, /jp/, having a match in hand, were able to control their own destiny, and they did exactly that, dispatching of /c/ with a 5-2 win, and leaving [s4s] stuck in the Babbies on 6 points for the second Cup in a row.
Match History
| Match Date | Opponent | Competition | Result | Goal Scorers |
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| July 12, 2013 | 3-1 L |
Shrek | ||
| July 20, 2013 | 1-0 W |
Quads | ||
| September 21, 2013 | 2-0 L | |||
| October 5, 2013 | 1-0 W |
Shrek | ||
| October 25, 2013 | 4-2 W |
Shrek | ||
| October 26, 2013 | 3-0 W |
Patrick Bateman | ||
| October 27, 2013 | 2-1 W |
Shrek | ||
| October 27, 2013 | 1-1 D |
Shrek | ||
| November 16, 2013 | 2-1 L |
Shrek | ||
| November 22, 2013 | 1-1 D |
Shrek | ||
| November 24, 2013 | 4-4 D |
Shrek | ||
| January 11, 2014 | 1-0 L | |||
| January 19, 2014 | 1-1 D |
Shrek | ||
| April 6, 2014 | 2-1 L |
[s4s]-Tan | ||
| April 11, 2014 | 3-3 D |
Patrick Bateman | ||
| April 13, 2014 | 1-0 W | Patrick Bateman  42'
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| April 19, 2014 | 2-1 W | Patrick Bateman 13', 70'
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| April 26, 2014 | 5-0 L | |||
| May 31, 2014 | 2-1 L | Patrick Bateman 33'
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| June 7, 2014 | 2-1 W | [s4s]-Tan 34', 39'
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| July 19, 2014 | 4-2 W | Cory Baxter 16', 37' Patrick Bateman 33'[s4s]-Tan 82'
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| July 26, 2014 | 2-2 D |
Cory Baxter | ||
| July 27, 2014 | 2-1 L |
Topkek | ||
| July 27, 2014 | 1(6)-1(5) L |
[s4s]-Tan | ||
| February 14, 2015 | 3-0 W |
Topkek | ||
| February 20, 2015 | 5-0 W |
Dubs | ||
| February 22, 2015 | 1-1 D |
[s4s]-Tan | ||
| February 28, 2015 | 3-0 W |
D A N K M E M E S | ||
| March 1, 2015 | 3-2 L |
Patrick Bateman | ||
| July 31, 2015 | 1-1 D | Patrick Bateman 65'
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| August 2, 2015 | 4-1 W | [s4s]-Tan 4', 74', 83' Patrick Bateman 34'
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| August 8, 2015 | 4-3 L | Patrick Bateman 13', 44', 70'
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| October 24, 2015 | 1-0 W | Patrick Bateman 34'
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| October 30, 2015 | 3-1 L | Patrick Bateman 71'
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| November 1, 2015 | 4-3 W | Patrick Bateman 4', 90+' [s4s]-Tan 30'Ebin 42'
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| November 8, 2015 | 2-1 W | [s4s]-Tan 18' Patrick Bateman 87'
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| November 14, 2015 | 4-3 W | Patrick Bateman 31', 78' Topkek 40'Snek Court 111'
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| November 15, 2015 | 2-0 L | |||
| February 20, 2016 | 4-0 W | Patrick Bateman 7', 73', 85' [s4s]-Tan 29'
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| February 26, 2015 | 1-1 D | Patrick Bateman 25'
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| February 28, 2016 | 4-0 L | |||
| March 5, 2016 | 2(4)-2(3) W | Nice Grill 41' Patrick Bateman 59'
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| March 6, 2016 | 3-2 L | Topkek 14' Patrick Bateman 45+3'
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| August 6, 2016 | 2-2 D | Topkek 38' Patrick Bateman 61'
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| August 12, 2016 | 2-1 W | Topkek 35' Patrick Bateman 42'
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| August 14, 2016 | 2-1 W | Patrick Bateman 30' Nice Grill 53'
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| August 20, 2016 | 3-0 L | |||
| February 11, 2017 | 3-1 W | Topkek 21' Patrick Bateman 53', 80'
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| February 17, 2017 | 1-0 L | |||
| February 19, 2017 | 2-1 W | Topkek 38', 43'
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| February 25, 2017 | 5-2 L | Patrick Bateman 45+0', 58'
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| July 28, 2017 | 3-2 L | Patrick Bateman 18' Keksandra 90+2'
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| July 30, 2017 | 3-3 D | Patrick Bateman 48', 90+0' Keksandra 7'
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| August 5, 2017 | 1-2 L | Keksandra 90+2'
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| October 27, 2017 | 1-3 L | Patrick Bateman 45+0'
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| October 29, 2017 | 1-2 W | Patrick Bateman 21', 90+0'
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| October 29, 2017 | 2-1 W | TOPKEK 15', 59'
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| May 4,2018 | 2-0 W | Patrick Bateman 23' Slut Sanae  30'
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| May 6,2018 | 1-2 L | Patrick Bateman 19'
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| May 11,2018 | 2-3 L | Patrick Bateman 41' Keksandra 87'
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| May 14,2018 | 3-1 W | Patrick Bateman 8', 53' Keksandra 90+2'
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Export
Current Exports
Legacy Exports
2018 4chan Spring Babby Cup Tactical
2018 4chan Spring Babby Cup Aesthetics
2018 4chan Spring Babby Cup Music
2018 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies
2017 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Aesthetics
2017 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Tactical
2017 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Qualifiers Meme Tactical
2017 4chan Summer Cup Tactical
2017 4chan Summer Cup Aesthetics
Honors/Statistics
Individual Honors
2013 Autumn Fetus
Golden Boot:
Shrek, 7 goals2013 Autumn Fetus
Joint Golden Ball:
Patrick Bateman, 5 assists
2014 Summer Cup
Goal of the Tournament:
Cory Baxter, vs. /pol/
2015 Winter Cup
Joint Golden Ball:
Ebin, Nice Grill2015 Winter Cup
Player of the Tournament:
Patrick Bateman
Team Honors
2014 Winter Cup
Match of the Tournament
[s4s] - /tg/2015 Winter Cup
Best Matches
2015 Summer Cup
Match of the Tournament
/gd/ - [s4s]
2015 4chan Autumn Babby
Match of the Tournament
[s4s] - /sp/
Player Stats
Note: players in italic are no longer on the team.
Goals and Assists
| Player | Goals | Assists |
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| Patrick Bateman | 51 | 14 |
| Keksandra | 18 | 12 |
| Shrek | 17 | 4 |
| Topkek | 14 | 16 |
| Nice Grill | 4 | 8 |
| Cory Baxter | 3 | 1 |
| D A N K M E M E S | 2 | 5 |
| Ebin | 1 | 7 |
| Snek Court | 1 | 3 |
| Quads | 1 | 0 |
| :^) | 0 | 4 |
| Awoo~ | 0 | 1 |
| Me On The Left | 0 | 1 |
| Yee | 0 | 1 |
| Youd Be Surprise | 0 | 1 |
| Cowe | 0 | 1 |
| Ojamajo Doremi | 0 | 1 |
Saves
| Player | Saves |
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| Walruse | 50 |
| Doge | 28 |
| Eh? You've Never Seen a Pair of Breasts Before? | 27 |
| Swaglord | 20 |
| #fortune | 11 |
| Le Purple Palmtree Man | 5 |
| My OC | 4 |
| Slowpoke | 3 |
| Donut Man | 2 |
Past Cup Performances
2013 Autumn Fetus
1st - Qualified
2013 Autumn Babby
25th - Relegated
2014 Spring Babby
16th - Promoted2014 Summer Cup
10th - Held Promotion2015 Winter Cup
5th - Held Promotion2015 Summer Cup
17th - Relegated2015 Autumn Babby
5th - Promoted
2016 Winter Cup
7th - Held Promotion
2016 Summer Cup
15th - Held Promotion
2017 Winter Cup
15th - Held Promotion
2017 Summer Cup
28th - Relegated
2017 Autumn Babby
17th - Failed to Advance
2018 Spring Babby
19th - Failed to Advance
Rivalries
You'd think the nicest team in the 4chan Cup wouldn't have rivalries, but youd be suprise :^)
Board-Based Rivalries
Sh*tpost Bowl: 
/s4s/ v. /b/ 
Newfigs to [s4s] consider it to be a "new /b/", in that they're both filled with ironic shitposting funposting, dubs threads, and useless content OC, but everyone knows [s4s] is better, both as a board and as a team. The only official Cup match these two teams have ever played against each other was [s4s]'s second ever, and it ended in a 1-0 win for [s4s].
1W - 0D - 0L
Dumb Frogposting Bowl: /s4s/ v. /r9k/ 
Although Pepes and Sadfrogs are some of the most commonly-posted images on /r9k/, they are looked down upon on [s4s], and anyone who posts one of these images will be referred to as a "dumb frogposter". [s4s] and /r9k/ do share one similarity, however: they were, at one point, the only boards on 4chan's header board list that resided in brackets by themselves. This rivalry sat at 2 draws up until Autumn 2017, when [s4s] pulled ahead with a win, being the only team to beat /r9k/ that entire cup.
1W - 2D - 0L
Meta Rivalries
"Seriously Guys It's Not Funny Anymore": /s4s/ v. /gd/ 
0W - 0D - 4L
Checkb Owl: /s4s/ v. /lgbt/ 
In this matchup of two provisionals, something always ends up getting checked. If [s4s] win, you check these dubs, and if /lgbt/ win, you check your FUCKING PRIVILEGE, YOU WHITE CIS SCUM. This rivalry has seen two matchups, a 1-1 draw in the 2013 Autumn Fetus, and a 2-1 /lgbt/ win in the 2014 Summer Friendlies.
0W - 1D - 1L
Quotes
- "But yeah seriously, /s4s/ is pretty good."
- — DrBorisG, on his favorite team in the cup :^)
- — DrBorisG, on his favorite team in the cup :^)
- "IT CAN'T BE, IT FUCKING CAN'T BE! OH MY GOD, IT'S FOUR FOR BATEMAN!"
- — DrBorisG, after Patrick Bateman scored his fourth goal - and [s4s]'s 5th of the match - against /x/ in the 2015 4chan Winter Cup
- — DrBorisG, after Patrick Bateman scored his fourth goal - and [s4s]'s 5th of the match - against /x/ in the 2015 4chan Winter Cup
- "BATEMAN! BATEMAN SENDS [S4S] TO WINTER!"
- — Old Man Sou, after Patrick Bateman scored in the 87th minute to secure a 2-1 victory over /adv/ and a berth in the 2016 4chan Winter Cup.
- — Old Man Sou, after Patrick Bateman scored in the 87th minute to secure a 2-1 victory over /adv/ and a berth in the 2016 4chan Winter Cup.
Photo Gallery
The first [s4s] team photo, for the 2014 4chan Summer Cup.
The [s4s] team photo for the 2015 4chan Winter Cup.
The [s4s] team photo for the 2017 4chan Winter Cup.
[s4s]'s Summer Cup 2017 medals enjoying a photo op en route to their first match.
Trivia/Fun Facts
- In '87, Huey released this; Fore!, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip To Be Square". A song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends. It's also a personal statement about the band itself.
- There have been two times that a single [s4s] player has scored 4 goals in a match: Shrek against /r9k/ in Autumn '13, and Bateman against /x/ in Summer '15. However, only one of these matches ended in an [s4s] victory: The latter match.
- [s4s]'s largest victory and worst loss are both currently by 5 goals to 0 (victory: over /x/, loss: against /ic/).
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