/s4s/
[s4s] (stylized /s4s/ for cup play) is a virtual professional football team representing the Shit 4chan Says board on 4chan. [s4s], as a board, was originally thought to be an April Fools' joke, but is now home to some of the D A N K E S T M E M E S and best GETs on all of 4chan. The team's cup history is long and winding, with [s4s] having played in every level of the cup, ranging from the first ever Babby Cup Qualifiers to the Elite level of play. [s4s]'s most recent cup performance was an 11th-place finish in the 2018 4chan Autumn Babby Cup, and as such they will be participating in the 2019 4chan Winter Cup. GED HYB! :DDD
We now have an ebin team Discord server for all you nice fans and funposters!
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9)
Roster
See also:
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Export, Aesthetics, And Music
Current Exports
Match History
| Match Date | Opponent | Competition | Result | Goal Scorers |
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| July 12, 2013 | 3-1 L |
Shrek | ||
| July 20, 2013 | 1-0 W |
Quads | ||
| September 21, 2013 | 2-0 L | |||
| October 5, 2013 | 1-0 W |
Shrek | ||
| October 25, 2013 | 4-2 W |
Shrek | ||
| October 26, 2013 | 3-0 W |
Patrick Bateman | ||
| October 27, 2013 | 2-1 W |
Shrek | ||
| October 27, 2013 | 1-1 D |
Shrek | ||
| November 16, 2013 | 2-1 L |
Shrek | ||
| November 22, 2013 | 1-1 D |
Shrek | ||
| November 24, 2013 | 4-4 D |
Shrek | ||
| January 11, 2014 | 1-0 L | |||
| January 19, 2014 | 1-1 D |
Shrek | ||
| April 6, 2014 | 2-1 L |
[s4s]-Tan | ||
| April 11, 2014 | 3-3 D |
Patrick Bateman | ||
| April 13, 2014 | 1-0 W | Patrick Bateman  42'
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| April 19, 2014 | 2-1 W | Patrick Bateman 13', 70'
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| April 26, 2014 | 5-0 L | |||
| May 31, 2014 | 2-1 L | Patrick Bateman 33'
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| June 7, 2014 | 2-1 W | [s4s]-Tan 34', 39'
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| July 19, 2014 | 4-2 W | Cory Baxter 16', 37' Patrick Bateman 33'[s4s]-Tan 82'
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| July 26, 2014 | 2-2 D |
Cory Baxter | ||
| July 27, 2014 | 2-1 L |
Topkek | ||
| July 27, 2014 | 1(6)-1(5) L |
[s4s]-Tan | ||
| February 14, 2015 | 3-0 W |
Topkek | ||
| February 20, 2015 | 5-0 W |
Dubs | ||
| February 22, 2015 | 1-1 D |
[s4s]-Tan | ||
| February 28, 2015 | 3-0 W |
D A N K M E M E S | ||
| March 1, 2015 | 3-2 L |
Patrick Bateman | ||
| July 31, 2015 | 1-1 D | Patrick Bateman 65'
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| August 2, 2015 | 4-1 W | [s4s]-Tan 4', 74', 83' Patrick Bateman 34'
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| August 8, 2015 | 4-3 L | Patrick Bateman 13', 44', 70'
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| October 24, 2015 | 1-0 W | Patrick Bateman 34'
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| October 30, 2015 | 3-1 L | Patrick Bateman 71'
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| November 1, 2015 | 4-3 W | Patrick Bateman 4', 90+' [s4s]-Tan 30'Ebin 42'
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| November 8, 2015 | 2-1 W | [s4s]-Tan 18' Patrick Bateman 87'
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| November 14, 2015 | 4-3 W | Patrick Bateman 31', 78' Topkek 40'Snek Court 111'
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| November 15, 2015 | 2-0 L | |||
| February 20, 2016 | 4-0 W | Patrick Bateman 7', 73', 85' [s4s]-Tan 29'
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| February 26, 2015 | 1-1 D | Patrick Bateman 25'
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| February 28, 2016 | 4-0 L | |||
| March 5, 2016 | 2(4)-2(3) W | Nice Grill 41' Patrick Bateman 59'
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| March 6, 2016 | 3-2 L | Topkek 14' Patrick Bateman 45+3'
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| August 6, 2016 | 2-2 D | Topkek 38' Patrick Bateman 61'
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| August 12, 2016 | 2-1 W | Topkek 35' Patrick Bateman 42'
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| August 14, 2016 | 2-1 W | Patrick Bateman 30' Nice Grill 53'
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| August 20, 2016 | 3-0 L | |||
| February 11, 2017 | 3-1 W | Topkek 21' Patrick Bateman 53', 80'
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| February 17, 2017 | 1-0 L | |||
| February 19, 2017 | 2-1 W | Topkek 38', 43'
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| February 25, 2017 | 5-2 L | Patrick Bateman 45+0', 58'
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| July 28, 2017 | 3-2 L | Patrick Bateman 18' Keksandra 90+2'
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| July 30, 2017 | 3-3 D | Patrick Bateman 48', 90+0' Keksandra 7'
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| August 5, 2017 | 1-2 L | Keksandra 90+2'
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| October 27, 2017 | 1-3 L | Patrick Bateman 45+0'
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| October 29, 2017 | 1-2 W | Patrick Bateman 21', 90+0'
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| October 29, 2017 | 2-1 W | TOPKEK 15', 59'
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| May 4,2018 | 2-0 W | Patrick Bateman 23' Slut Sanae  30'
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| May 6,2018 | 1-2 L | Patrick Bateman 19'
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| May 11,2018 | 2-3 L | Patrick Bateman 41' Keksandra 87'
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| May 14, 2018 | 3-1 W | Patrick Bateman 8', 53' Keksandra 90+2'
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| October 26, 2018 | 2-0 W | Topkek 51' Patrick Bateman 69' (pen.)
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| October 28, 2018 | 3-1 W | Nice Grill 13' Topkek 33' Patrick Bateman 52'
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| November 3, 2018 | 5-1 W | Nice Grill 10' Keksandra 45+4', 90+7' Topkek 49' Flowre 85'
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| November 10, 2018 | 1(4)-1(3) L | Patrick Bateman 59'
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Team History
For earlier history: /s4s/ history
2018 4chan Autumn Babby Cup
The second consecutive 6-point heartbreak for [s4s] meant that things had to be shaken up. Ojamajo Doremi, Spikeman, and Kogasa, as well as former team stalwarts le millenom grill, D A N K M E M E S, and BAVI were all sacked, replaced with debutants Flube, zrg, and Merula, as well as Reserves promotions Introducing, Jack Ruselel, and Dubs. The draw saw [s4s] put into Group A, along with some very, very familiar faces: /o/, who [s4s] had played twice prior (the 2013 Autumn Fetus, and the 2014 Spring Babby), /wsg/, another opponent from the 2013 Autumn Fetus, and /mlp/, who [s4s] played in their magical Winter 2015 run. As for the matches, it could be said much of the Cup's audience underestimated Dubs FC, with what came next. The curtain raiser for [s4s]'s Autumn saw them take on /o/. With goals coming from Topkek and a Bateman penalty after Squids viciously brought him down from behind, [s4s] trounced /o/ 2-0. The dominant [s4s] defense and deadly attack seen in that match would follow [s4s] into the remaining two group stage games. The second match saw [s4s] take on /mlp/, who were arguably fallen giants after their disappointing run in the prior Summer. A 4th minute goal from Cup legend >rape saw the ponies take an early lead, but from then on it was all [s4s]. [s4s] equalized 9 minutes later, thanks to a heavily deflected effort from Nice Grill hitting the back of the net. In the 33rd minute, /mlp/ centerback Thanks M.A. Larson dawdled in possession, Keksandra closed him down brilliantly and played a lovely ball to Topkek. He rifled a first-time effort past Hasbro Internet Security and [s4s] took the lead. Following the half-time restart, Patrick Bateman almost extended [s4s]'s lead immediately, with a powerful shot unluckily rifling off the crossbar. But, he wouldn't have to wait long to do just that. In the 52nd, fullback Jack Ruselel charged up the right wing and played an excellent sliding ball in to Bateman, who hit the back of the net from close range and made it 3-1, and the strength of the [s4s]quatch defense meant the score at full time was just that. Despite [s4s] winning both of their first two matches, promotion was not 100% percent confirmed, meaning a swing in goal-difference large enough would see yet another heartbreak come [s4s]'s way. From the 10th minute on in the final match against /wsg/, it was evident that this would not be happening, however. Nice Grill charged into the box and tapped it past Get Out, grabbing her 2nd goal of the campaign. Gondola brought it level in the 19th minute, but it turned out to be little more than a consolation as from that point on, the floodgates were open. A well-worked corner saw Keksandra head it in to give [s4s] the lead, a lead they would further extend through another excellent cross from Ebin to Topkek four minutes after played resumed. Subs were brought on at 64' and 75', one of whom was Flowre, who infamously received a red card in a certain match against /gd/. Now a midfielder, Flowre would potentially have a chance to redeem herself, and in the 85th minute, she would do just that. A free kick to [s4s] saw the ball fall directly to her feet, and she let off a first-time volley which flew into the net to make it 4-1. The referees signaled for a minimum of four minutes of added time, and [s4s] would make use of every minute of those four and then some. A failed headed clearance by /wsg/ saw the ball go to to Topkek, who in turn headed it to Keksandra, whose half-volley goal in the 97th minute would be the last kick of the game, as the match ended in a commanding 5-1 victory. This meant [s4s] had finally successfully promoted back to the Elites, doing so in dominant fashion: the final table would show [s4s] achieving the storied 9 Point Master Race with 10 Goals For against an impressive 2 Goals Against. [s4s] were at that point among the favorites to win the entire Cup, but sadly, these dreams were quickly and agonizingly dashed. The Round Of 16 draw [s4s] face /wg/ in the first match of the penultimate day of competition. An unprecedented two-at-the-back formation saw /wg/ overload the midfield, allowing them to take the lead in the 12th minute through I Am Very Sad, a lead they would hold until halftime. Bateman would equalize for Dubs FC with just over 30 minutes to go, and that 1-1 scoreline would hold through past full time, as well as the first half of extra time. However, as play resumed, the unthinkable happened. /wg/ kicked off with Helios receiving the pass in the center circle, and in an attempt to win the ball, Bateman played an absolutely abhorrent challenge, two-footing the Greek from behind. He was sent off. It was the first card of his career. It came 19 seconds into the second half. The Ess-Force, now a man down, immediately parked the bus, desperate to hold on until penalties. They would valiantly do just that. Sadly, they could not steal the match from the spot, with poorly placed kicks from :^) and Swaglord sending [s4s] crashing out, 1(4)-1(3). However, the result only stung so much, as [s4s] could now look towards the 2019 4chan Winter Cup with desire and ambition.
Past Cup Performances
2013 Autumn Fetus
1st - Qualified
2013 Autumn Babby
25th - Relegated
2014 Spring Babby
16th - Promoted
2014 Summer Cup
10th - Held Promotion
2015 Winter Cup
5th - Held Promotion
2015 Summer Cup
17th - Relegated
2015 Autumn Babby
5th - Promoted
2016 Winter Cup
7th - Held Promotion
2016 Summer Cup
15th - Held Promotion
2017 Winter Cup
15th - Held Promotion
2017 Summer Cup
28th - Relegated
2017 Autumn Babby
17th - Failed to Advance
2018 Spring Babby
19th - Failed to Advance
2018 Autumn Babby
11th - Promoted
Statistics and Honors
Player Statistics
Goals and Assists
| Player | Goals | Assists |
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| Patrick Bateman | 54 | 14 |
| Keksandra | 20 | 13 |
| Topkek | 17 | 18 |
| Shrek | 17 | 4 |
| Nice Grill | 5 | 8 |
| Cory Baxter | 3 | 1 |
| D A N K M E M E S | 2 | 5 |
| Ebin | 1 | 8 |
| Snek Court | 1 | 3 |
| Flowre | 1 | 0 |
| Quads | 1 | 0 |
| :^) | 0 | 4 |
| Jack Ruselel | 0 | 2 |
| Awoo~ | 0 | 1 |
| Me On The Left | 0 | 1 |
| Yee | 0 | 1 |
| Youd Be Surprise | 0 | 1 |
| Cowe | 0 | 1 |
| zrg | 0 | 1 |
| Ojamajo Doremi | 0 | 1 |
Saves
| Player | Saves |
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| Walruse | 50 |
| Doge | 28 |
| Kogasa | 27 |
| #fortune | 22 |
| Swaglord | 20 |
| Le Purple Palmtree Man | 5 |
| My OC | 4 |
| Slowpoke | 3 |
| Donut Man | 2 |
Individual Honors
2013 Autumn Fetus
Golden Boot:
Shrek, 7 goals2013 Autumn Fetus
Joint Golden Ball:
Patrick Bateman, 5 assists2014 Summer Cup
Goal of the Tournament:
Cory Baxter, vs. /pol/2015 Winter Cup
Joint Golden Ball:
Ebin, Nice Grill2015 Winter Cup
Player of the Tournament:
Patrick Bateman
Team Honors
2014 Winter Cup
Match of the Tournament
[s4s] - /tg/2015 Winter Cup
Best Matches
2015 Summer Cup
Match of the Tournament
/gd/ - [s4s]2015 4chan Autumn Babby
Match of the Tournament
[s4s] - /sp/
Rivalries
You'd think the nicest team in the 4chan Cup wouldn't have rivalries, but youd be suprise :^)
Board Rivalries
Sh*tpost Bowl: 
/s4s/ v. /b/ 
Newfigs to [s4s] consider it to be a "new /b/", in that they're both filled with ironic shitposting funposting, dubs threads, and useless content OC, but everyone knows [s4s] is better, both as a board and as a team. The only official Cup match these two teams have ever played against each other was [s4s]'s second ever, and it ended in a 1-0 win for [s4s]. Record: 1W - 0D - 0L
Dumb Frogposting Bowl: /s4s/ v. /r9k/ 
Although Pepes and Sadfrogs are some of the most commonly-posted images on /r9k/, they are looked down upon on [s4s], and anyone who posts one of these images will be referred to as a "dumb frogposter". [s4s] and /r9k/ do share one similarity, however: they were, at one point, the only boards on 4chan's header board list that resided in brackets by themselves. This rivalry sat at 2 draws up until Autumn 2017, when [s4s] pulled ahead with a win, being the only team to beat /r9k/ that entire cup. Record: 1W - 2D - 0L
Meta Rivalries
"Seriously Guys It's Not Funny Anymore": /s4s/ v. /gd/ 
Never ever. NEVER EVER. Record: 0W - 0D - 4L
Checkb Owl: /s4s/ v. /lgbt/ 
In this matchup of two provisionals, something always ends up getting checked. If [s4s] win, you check these dubs, and if /lgbt/ win, you check your FUCKING PRIVILEGE, YOU WHITE CIS SCUM. This rivalry has seen two matchups, a 1-1 draw in the 2013 Autumn Fetus, and a 2-1 /lgbt/ win in the 2014 Summer Friendlies. 0W - 1D - 1L
Friendshipb Owl: /s4s/ v. /mlp/ 
More of a friendly rivalry than a violent one, this matchup can be summed up in one sentence: Whoever wins, the Cup loses. These two teams have met twice, both in the group stages. Fitting to the rivalry's name, the game ended in the friendliest of results, a 1-1 draw in the 2015 4chan Winter Cup that saw both teams continue through to the knockout stages. Their second face-off, however, was slightly less amicable, as Dubs FC pulled ahead with a 3-1 victory in the 2018 4chan Autumn Babby Cup. Despite this, both teams again advanced. 1W - 1D - 0L
Quotes
- "But yeah seriously, /s4s/ is pretty good."
- — DrBorisG, on his favorite team in the cup :^)
- — DrBorisG, on his favorite team in the cup :^)
- "IT CAN'T BE, IT FUCKING CAN'T BE! OH MY GOD, IT'S FOUR FOR BATEMAN!"
- — DrBorisG, after Patrick Bateman scored his fourth goal - and [s4s]'s 5th of the match - against /x/ in the 2015 4chan Winter Cup
- — DrBorisG, after Patrick Bateman scored his fourth goal - and [s4s]'s 5th of the match - against /x/ in the 2015 4chan Winter Cup
- "BATEMAN! BATEMAN SENDS [S4S] TO WINTER!"
- — Old Man Sou, after Patrick Bateman scored in the 87th minute to secure a 2-1 victory over /adv/ and a berth in the 2016 4chan Winter Cup.
- — Old Man Sou, after Patrick Bateman scored in the 87th minute to secure a 2-1 victory over /adv/ and a berth in the 2016 4chan Winter Cup.
Photo Gallery
The first [s4s] team photo, for the 2014 4chan Summer Cup.
The [s4s] team photo for the 2015 4chan Winter Cup.
The [s4s] team photo for the 2017 4chan Winter Cup.
The [s4s]-/x/ match from Winter 2015 summed up in one image.
[s4s] doing what only [s4s] can.
[s4s] striker [s4s]-Tan ruses /adv/ defender s/adv/irgin after he allows an 87th minute Patrick Bateman goal.
[s4s]'s Summer 2017 medals enjoying a photo op en route to their first match.
Trivia
- In '87, Huey released this; Fore!, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip To Be Square". A song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends. It's also a personal statement about the band itself.
- There have been two times that a single [s4s] player has scored 4 goals in a match: Shrek against /r9k/ in Autumn '13, and Bateman against /x/ in Summer '15. However, only one of these matches ended in an [s4s] victory: The latter match.
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