/s4s/
[s4s] (stylized /s4s/ for cup play) is a virtual professional football team representing the Shit 4chan Says board on 4chan. [s4s] was, as a board, originally thought to be an April Fools' joke. However, it was made a permanent fixture on the site by Moot, and is now home to some of the D A N K E S T M E M E S and best GETs on all of 4chan. The team itself has also challenged these labels, both on and off the divegrass pitch, with the S4squatches now being considered one of the stronger sides in the Cup.
The team's history is long and winding, with [s4s] having played in every level of the Cup, ranging from the first ever Babby Cup Qualifiers to the Elite level of play. [s4s]'s most recent cup performance was a 3rd-place finish in the 2019 4chan Winter Cup, and as such they will be participating in the 2019 4chan Summer Cup.
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1)
Roster
See also:
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Team Photos
The first [s4s] team photo, for the 2014 4chan Summer Cup.
The [s4s] team photo for the 2015 4chan Winter Cup.
The [s4s] team photo for the 2017 4chan Winter Cup.
Team History
For earlier history: /s4s/ history
2019 4chan Winter Cup
After three Babby Cups in a row, [s4s] finally managed to break away from the babby curse and get back into the Elite cup. Poised and ready to show all the other teams how to be nice, [s4s] was drawn into a very tough and strong Group H, which included /sp/, /vr/, and /mlp/ (Best Friends :^) ). First match of the group was against an always tricky and capable /vr/, but with Winter 19 being run on >PES 16 the game went only one way from the very start, with [s4s] taking a dominant 5-2 victory over /vr/, thanks to braces from both Topkek and Bateman and a cheeky Keksandra goal at the 66th minute for Nice Dubs. The following match brought the "best friends" match against the two star horses of /mlp/. And that match ended anything but friendly for [s4s] as the team suffered a big 5-2 loss to the ponies, Keksandra and Bateman being the only scorers for [s4s]. With that loss, [s4s] needed a win in their last group match against the mighty /sp/artans of /sp/. Tensions and hyp was high as Boris's apartment nearly burned to the ground in the match prior (/mlp/ vs /vr/). The match began, and many believed that [s4s] had no chance in this match against a strong team like /sp/. Those doubts were washed away in the first 45 minutes as Keksandra already had a brace to put [s4s] 2-1 up. And from there, it was as if the Gods of Lel and Kek had blessed [s4s], because Keksandra ended up scoring a double brace in that match, with Topkek also netting a brace and Bateman also contributed in the goalfest, which ended the match in a crushing 7-3 cictory for [s4s]. Fun fact from that Match: Keksandra scored the 7th goal at the 77th minute which was the 7th shot on target, check those digits. The echoes of that match were heard all across the 4chan cup, and caused serious turmoil in the /sp/ managment. As for [s4s], an elite knockout was finally here again for the first time since winter 17, and a spot in the Summer Elite was secured.
In the KO draw, [s4s] was matched up against /g/, which looked unstopabble in the group stage. Matchday dawned, and the match was a huge nailbiter, [s4s] had a 3-2 lead thanks to a Bateman hat trick, up untill 90+3, when Install Gentoo managed to score a last second buzzer and bring the game to ET and cause a huge heart attack in the [s4s] management. nevertheless, as ET began, things were incredibly close, and at the end of the first ET, Top Kek managed to get the score up to 4-3 for [s4s]. But as second ET began, /g/ brought it back to 4-4. As the time went on, and ass clenching got stronger, the match seemed to be going to benuldies. But out of nowhere Top Kek scored at the 117th Minute and brought [s4s] to their first elite quarter final since 2015. Next opponent was a surprising /biz/, who reached their first ever elite knockouts. From the start of the Match, [s4s] took a commanding position on the pitch, with a rock solid defense and ball control, and the first half ended a surprisingly boring 0-0. Second half began, and Patrick Bateman found his way to the goal and scored for a 1-0 lead. After that Keksandra and Topkek also scored, to bring the final score to 3-1 for [s4s]. Thus, [s4s] reached their first ever elite semi final, and facing them in the semi was the even more surprising team of /3/. During the match, it was extremely close to call, as both teams had a goal a piece, with Keksandra scoring for [s4s]. Extra time began, and in the ET, /3/ shown to be the better team and with a goal from Utah Teapot at 105+1 sent [s4s] to the THIRD PLACE match.
And what a Third Place match it would be, as the team [s4s] had to play was none other than summer champions /vg/. The stage was set for an exciting match and it turned to be exactly that, with [s4s] taking an early lead thanks to Keksandra scoring two goals in the first 20 minutes to bring the result to 2-0 for [s4s]. However, /vg/ shown why they were the summer champions, and by the 80th minute thanks to a GOGETA DA brace and an Apex goal, the result was 3-2 for /vg/. Things seemed bleak for [s4s], but as always, Patrick Bateman is there when most needed, as he leveled the game at the 83rd minute from a corner kick header. Match was entering the 90+ period and it seemed like Extra time was Again gonna happen. [s4s] got a corner kick at 90+1 after which nothing was the same. SES Took the kick, with one of /vg/ defenders clearing the ball, the ball coming outside the box to Nice Grill, and she shot the nicest blooter ever, into the top net, to score her first and only goal this cup, despite being a medal. That goal however was the most important of the cup you could argue, as thanks to that amazing goal, the match ended 4-3 for [s4s], and [s4s] was the winner of the THIRD PLACE TROPHY! Nice Grill's squat toilet blooter was also declared the goal of the tournament, aswell as Keksandra taking the joint best player of the cup award, to complete the most successful cup in [s4s]'s history, and leave on high marks towards the 2019 4chan Summer Cup.
Match History
| Match Date | Opponent | Competition | Result | Goal Scorers |
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| July 12, 2013 | 3-1 L |
Shrek | ||
| July 20, 2013 | 1-0 W |
Quads | ||
| September 21, 2013 | 2-0 L | |||
| October 5, 2013 | 1-0 W |
Shrek | ||
| October 25, 2013 | 4-2 W |
Shrek | ||
| October 26, 2013 | 3-0 W |
Patrick Bateman | ||
| October 27, 2013 | 2-1 W |
Shrek | ||
| October 27, 2013 | 1-1 D |
Shrek | ||
| November 16, 2013 | 2-1 L |
Shrek | ||
| November 22, 2013 | 1-1 D |
Shrek | ||
| November 24, 2013 | 4-4 D |
Shrek | ||
| January 11, 2014 | 1-0 L | |||
| January 19, 2014 | 1-1 D |
Shrek | ||
| April 6, 2014 | 2-1 L |
[s4s]-Tan | ||
| April 11, 2014 | 3-3 D |
Patrick Bateman | ||
| April 13, 2014 | 1-0 W | Patrick Bateman  42'
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| April 19, 2014 | 2-1 W | Patrick Bateman 13', 70'
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| April 26, 2014 | 5-0 L | |||
| May 31, 2014 | 2-1 L | Patrick Bateman 33'
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| June 7, 2014 | 2-1 W | [s4s]-Tan 34', 39'
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| July 19, 2014 | 4-2 W | Cory Baxter 16', 37' Patrick Bateman 33'[s4s]-Tan 82'
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| July 26, 2014 | 2-2 D |
Cory Baxter | ||
| July 27, 2014 | 2-1 L |
Topkek | ||
| July 27, 2014 | 1(6)-1(5) L |
[s4s]-Tan | ||
| February 14, 2015 | 3-0 W |
Topkek | ||
| February 20, 2015 | 5-0 W |
Dubs | ||
| February 22, 2015 | 1-1 D |
[s4s]-Tan | ||
| February 28, 2015 | 3-0 W |
D A N K M E M E S | ||
| March 1, 2015 | 3-2 L |
Patrick Bateman | ||
| July 31, 2015 | 1-1 D | Patrick Bateman 65'
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| August 2, 2015 | 4-1 W | [s4s]-Tan 4', 74', 83' Patrick Bateman 34'
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| August 8, 2015 | 4-3 L | Patrick Bateman 13', 44', 70'
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| October 24, 2015 | 1-0 W | Patrick Bateman 34'
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| October 30, 2015 | 3-1 L | Patrick Bateman 71'
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| November 1, 2015 | 4-3 W | Patrick Bateman 4', 90+' [s4s]-Tan 30'Ebin 42'
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| November 8, 2015 | 2-1 W | [s4s]-Tan 18' Patrick Bateman 87'
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| November 14, 2015 | 4-3 W (a.e.t.) | Patrick Bateman 31', 78' Topkek 40'Snek Court 111'
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| November 15, 2015 | 2-0 L | |||
| February 20, 2016 | 4-0 W | Patrick Bateman 7', 73', 85' [s4s]-Tan 29'
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| February 26, 2015 | 1-1 D | Patrick Bateman 25'
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| February 28, 2016 | 4-0 L | |||
| March 5, 2016 | 2(4)-2(3) W | Nice Grill 41' Patrick Bateman 59'
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| March 6, 2016 | 3-2 L | Topkek 14' Patrick Bateman 45+3'
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| August 6, 2016 | 2-2 D | Topkek 38' Patrick Bateman 61'
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| August 12, 2016 | 2-1 W | Topkek 35' Patrick Bateman 42'
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| August 14, 2016 | 2-1 W | Patrick Bateman 30' Nice Grill 53'
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| August 20, 2016 | 3-0 L | |||
| February 11, 2017 | 3-1 W | Topkek 21' Patrick Bateman 53', 80'
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| February 17, 2017 | 1-0 L | |||
| February 19, 2017 | 2-1 W | Topkek 38', 43'
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| February 25, 2017 | 5-2 L | Patrick Bateman 45+0', 58'
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| July 28, 2017 | 3-2 L | Patrick Bateman 18' Keksandra 90+2'
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| July 30, 2017 | 3-3 D | Patrick Bateman 48', 90+0' Keksandra 7'
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| August 5, 2017 | 1-2 L | Keksandra 90+2'
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| October 27, 2017 | 1-3 L | Patrick Bateman 45+0'
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| October 29, 2017 | 1-2 W | Patrick Bateman 21', 90+0'
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| October 29, 2017 | 2-1 W | TOPKEK 15', 59'
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| May 4,2018 | 2-0 W | Patrick Bateman 23' Slut Sanae  30'
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| May 6,2018 | 1-2 L | Patrick Bateman 19'
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| May 11,2018 | 2-3 L | Patrick Bateman 41' Keksandra 87'
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| May 14, 2018 | 3-1 W | Patrick Bateman 8', 53' Keksandra 90+2'
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| October 26, 2018 | 2-0 W | Topkek 51' Patrick Bateman 69' (pen.)
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| October 28, 2018 | 3-1 W | Nice Grill 13' Topkek 33' Patrick Bateman 52'
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| November 3, 2018 | 5-1 W | Nice Grill 10' Keksandra 45+4', 90+7' Topkek 49' Flowre 85'
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| November 10, 2018 | 1(4)-1(3) L | Patrick Bateman 59'
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| February 16, 2018 | 5-2 W | Topkek 11', 28' Patrick Bateman 52', 87' Keksandra 66'
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| February 22, 2019 | 5-2 L | Keksandra 18' Patrick Bateman 81'
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| February 24, 2019 | 7-3 W | Topkek 6', 37' Patrick Bateman 58' Keksandra 50', 62', 61', 77'
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| March 2, 2019 | 5-4 W (a.e.t.) | Patrick Bateman 22', 41', 51' Topkek 105+2', 117'
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| March 3, 2019 | 3-1 W | Patrick Bateman 47' Keksandra 68' Topkek 88'
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| March 3, 2019 | 1-2 L (a.e.t.) | Topkek 38'
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| March 3, 2019 | 4-3 W | Keksandra 13', 18' Patrick Bateman 83' Nice Grill 90+1'
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Tournament History
| Competition | Win | Draw | Loss | End result | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| All friendlies | 3 | 1 | 4 | >friendliest team >lose most of your friendlies | |
 2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Qualifiers |
3 | 1 | 0 | 1st - Qualified | >""""winning"""" a fetus |
 2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup |
0 | 2 | 1 | 25th - Relegated | >almost losing to autopilot /cgl/ >letting it slip against /r9k/ |
 2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup |
2 | 1 | 2 | 16th - Promoted | >getting blown the fuck out by OaB /ic/ |
 2014 4chan Summer Cup |
1 | 1 | 2 | 10th - Held Promotion | First Elite Cup; The Cup of Cory |
 2015 4chan Winter Cup |
3 | 1 | 1 | 5th - Held Promotion | Almost made it to the semifinals. Fucking /tg/. |
 2015 4chan Summer Cup |
1 | 1 | 1 | 17th - Relegated | 
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 2015 4chan Autumn Babby Cup |
4 | 0 | 2 | 5th - Promoted | >SACKING THE MANAGER FOR FINISHING 5TH |
 2016 4chan Winter Cup |
2 | 1 | 2 | 7th - Held Promotion | >lost 3-2 in the quarterfinals again |
 2016 4chan Summer Cup |
2 | 1 | 1 | 15th - Held Promotion | Killed in the Ro16 by /adv/. |
 2017 4chan Winter Cup |
2 | 0 | 2 | 15th - Held Promotion | THAT. FUCKING. KAT. |
 2017 4chan Summer Cup |
0 | 1 | 2 | 28th - Relegated | The Dark Era begins. |
 2017 4chan Autumn Babby Cup |
2 | 0 | 1 | 17th - Failed to Promote | The first of two 6-Point Hells. |
 2018 4chan Spring Babby Cup |
2 | 0 | 1 | 19th - Failed to Promote | YOU GOT BEAT BY /T/. The second of the aforementioned Hells. |
 2018 4chan Autumn Babby Cup |
3 | 0 | 1 | 11th - Promoted | Freed from Hell, Lost in the Ro16 (again) thanks to Patrick "Flowre" Bateman. Nice dubs though. |
 2019 4chan Winter Cup |
4 | 0 | 2 | 3rd Place | WON THE THIRD PLACE TROPHY. |
Statistics and Honors
Player Statistics
Note: players in italics are no longer active.
| Player | Goals |
|---|---|
| Patrick Bateman | 64 |
| Keksandra | 30 |
| Topkek | 26 |
| Shrek | 17 |
| Nice Grill | 6 |
| Cory Baxter | 3 |
| D A N K M E M E S | 2 |
| Ebin | 1 |
| Flowre | 1 |
| Snek Court | 1 |
| Quads | 1 |
| Player | Assists |
|---|---|
| Topkek | 21 |
| Patrick Bateman | 18 |
| Keksandra | 12 |
| Nice Grill | 11 |
| Ebin | 9 |
| D A N K M E M E S | 5 |
| :^) | 4 |
| Shrek | 4 |
| Snek Court | 3 |
| Jack Ruselel | 2 |
| Ses | 2 |
| Ass | 1 |
| Bury Smolhead | 1 |
| Cowe | 1 |
| Yosho | 1 |
| Youd Be Surprise | 1 |
| Awoo~ | 1 |
| Cory Baxter | 1 |
| Me On The Left | 1 |
| Ojamajo Doremi | 1 |
| Yee | 1 |
| zrg | 1 |
| Player | Saves |
|---|---|
| Walruse | 50 |
| #fortune | 29 |
| Doge | 28 |
| Kogasa | 27 |
| Swaglord | 20 |
| Youd Be Suprise | 8 |
| Le Purple Palmtree Man | 5 |
| My OC | 4 |
| Slowpoke | 3 |
| Donut Man | 2 |
Individual Honors
2013 Autumn Fetus
Golden Boot:
Shrek, 7 goals2013 Autumn Fetus
Joint Golden Ball:
Patrick Bateman, 5 assists
2014 Summer Cup
Goal of the Tournament:
Cory Baxter, vs. /pol/
2015 Winter Cup
Joint Golden Ball:
Ebin, Nice Grill2015 Winter Cup
Player of the Tournament:
Patrick Bateman
2019 Winter Cup
Joint Best Player2019 Winter Cup
Goal of the Tournament
Nice Grill
Team Honors
2014 Winter Cup
Match of the Tournament
[s4s] - /tg/2015 Winter Cup
Best Matches
2015 Summer Cup
Match of the Tournament
/gd/ - [s4s]
2015 4chan Autumn Babby
Match of the Tournament
[s4s] - /sp/2019 Winter Cup
3rd Place
Rivalries
You'd think the nicest team in the 4chan Cup wouldn't have rivalries, but youd be suprise :^)
Board Rivalries
Sh*tpost Bowl: 
/s4s/ v. /b/ 
Newfigs to [s4s] consider it to be a "new /b/", in that they're both filled with ironic shitposting funposting, dubs threads, and useless content OC, but everyone knows [s4s] is better, both as a board and as a team. The only official Cup match these two teams have ever played against each other was [s4s]'s second ever, and it ended in a 1-0 win for [s4s]. 1W - 0D - 0L
Dumb Frogposting Bowl: /s4s/ v. /r9k/ 
Although Pepes and Sadfrogs are some of the most commonly-posted images on /r9k/, they are looked down upon on [s4s], and anyone who posts one of these images will be referred to as a "dumb frogposter". [s4s] and /r9k/ do share one similarity, however: they were, at one point, the only boards on 4chan's header board list that resided in brackets by themselves. This rivalry sat at 2 draws up until Autumn 2017, when [s4s] pulled ahead with a win, being the only team to beat /r9k/ that entire cup. 1W - 2D - 0L
Meta Rivalries
"Seriously Guys It's Not Funny Anymore": /s4s/ v. /gd/ 
Never ever. NEVER EVER. 0W - 0D - 4L
Checkb Owl: /s4s/ v. /lgbt/ 
In this matchup of two provisionals, something always ends up getting checked. If [s4s] win, you check these dubs, and if /lgbt/ win, you check your FUCKING PRIVILEGE, YOU WHITE CIS SCUM. This rivalry has seen two matchups, a 1-1 draw in the 2013 Autumn Fetus, and a 2-1 /lgbt/ win in the 2014 Summer Friendlies. 0W - 1D - 1L
Friendshipb Owl aka Together Forever, Jr.: /s4s/ v. /mlp/ 
Fitting to the rivalry's name, their first face-off ended in the friendliest of results, a 1-1 draw in the 2015 4chan Winter Cup that saw both teams continue through to the knockout stages. Their second, however, was slightly less amicable, as Dubs FC pulled ahead with a 3-1 victory in the 2018 4chan Autumn Babby Cup. Despite this, both teams again advanced. >rape and the rest of the pastel ponies grabbed their first win of the rivalry in the third matchup, with a 5-2 win in the 2019 4chan Winter Cup. Yet again, both [s4s] and /mlp/ qualified for the knockout rounds. The rivalry currently stands all square, with each team having a win and a draw to their names. 1W - 1D - 1L
Gallery
The [s4s]-/x/ match from Winter 2015 summed up in one image.
[s4s] doing what only [s4s] can.
Keksandra rusing /adv/ defender s/adv/irgin after he allows an 87th minute Patrick Bateman goal.
[s4s]'s Summer 2017 medals enjoying a photo op en route to their first match.
Keksandra embracing the Third Place Trophy™ she and the rest of Dubs FC claimed after the 2019 Winter Cup.
Quotes
- "But yeah seriously, /s4s/ is pretty good."
- — DrBorisG
- — DrBorisG
On his favorite team in the cup :^)
- "IT CAN'T BE, IT FUCKING CAN'T BE! OH MY GOD, IT'S FOUR FOR BATEMAN!"
- — DrBorisG
- — DrBorisG
After Patrick Bateman scored the final of five [s4s] goals against /x/ in the 2015 4chan Winter Cup.
- "BATEMAN! BATEMAN SENDS [S4S] TO WINTER!"
- — Old Man Sou
- — Old Man Sou
After Patrick Bateman scored in the 87th minute to secure a 2-1 victory over /adv/ and a berth in the 2016 4chan Winter Cup.
- "Ninety plus four, Ses on a corner kick, here we go!"
- — DrBorisG
- — DrBorisG
- "Seeeess..."
- — Jack
- — Jack
- "Here comes that pause abuse, he already got one assist on it--"
- — Kekkels
- — Kekkels
- "Nah, not unless, n--OH, OH YEAH, MAYBE, OKAY! NICE GRILL, NICE GAME! Nice Grill on the Squat Toilet! I got nothin' for this."
- — DrBorisG
- — DrBorisG
- "Well, I think we know what Goal of the Tournament is going to be."
- — Blinky
- — Blinky
The commentary booth's reaction to Nice Grill's improbable last-gasp volley against to win the 2019 4chan Winter Cup Third Place Match against /vg/.
Trivia
- In '87, Huey released this; Fore!, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip To Be Square". A song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends. It's also a personal statement about the band itself.
- There have been three times that one [s4s] player has scored 4 goals in a match: Shrek against /r9k/ in Autumn '13, Bateman against /x/ in Summer '15, and Keksandra against /sp/ in Winter '19. Despite this, not every match was an [s4s] victory: Shrek's double brace was not enough to take all 3 points, as a ROBOT9001 hat trick meant the game ended 4-all.
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