/s4s/
[s4s] (stylized /s4s/ for cup play) is a virtual professional football team representing the Shit 4chan Says board on 4chan. [s4s] was, as a board, originally thought to be an April Fools' joke. However, it was made a permanent fixture on the site by Moot, and is now home to some of the D A N K E S T M E M E S and best GETs on all of 4chan. The team itself has also challenged these labels, both on and off the divegrass pitch, with the S4squatches now being considered one of the stronger sides in the Cup.
The team's history is long and winding, with [s4s] having played in every level of the Cup, ranging from the first ever Babby Cup Qualifiers to the Elite level of play. [s4s]'s most recent cup performance was a 29th place finish in the 2019 4chan Summer Cup, and as such they will be participating in the 2019 4chan Autumn Babby Cup.
| /s4s/ | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Quis Tu Vertitis | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| /s4s/ - Shit 4chan Says | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Historic performance | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Team music | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Kits | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
10)
Roster
See also:
|
|
Team Photos
The first [s4s] team photo, for the 2014 4chan Summer Cup.
The [s4s] team photo for the 2015 4chan Winter Cup.
The [s4s] team photo for the 2017 4chan Winter Cup.
The [s4s] team photo for the 2019 4chan Summer Cup.
Team History
For earlier history: /s4s/ history
2019 4chan Summer Cup
Coming into the summer cup as the 3rd place team from winter, [s4s] had alot to prove in order to defend that title. The draw saw the team get put in a very strong group with fresh 2019 4chan Spring Babby Cup champions /i/ and finalists /c/ aswell as the now autopilot /k/ team. Being settled in Group F, it looked like it was going to be a hard task to stay elite and advance into the RO16.
The first game was against /c/ and from the get go it was obvious nothing was working in the team, now with some new fresh faces on the team (most notably Akko). The cute girls dominated the whole match, and despite the result only being 1-0 for /c/ it could have been much worse. Hope now rested on the game versus the current spring champions and a team that has fully unlocked PES 18, /i/. Hope was basically the best description for the situation before the game, because during the game [s4s] got fully rekt by /i/ 4-0. This meant [s4s] had 0 Points and a GD of -5 with no goals scored.
A grim outlook was most likely, the team facing demotion to babbies unless a miracle happened. And it nearly did, as /i/ beat /c/ 4-1, it opened the door for [s4s] to advance if they beat /k/ by 3-1 or any other 3 goal win. Despite Bateman scoring the first goal for the team at the 22nd minute (Checkem), it was not enough, as the gun nuts of /k/ soon leveled it. Essfouress tried and tried to score more but it was to no avail. Match ended 1-1 and [s4s] was sent to the 2019 4chan Autumn Babby Cup, where it hopes to gets its keks back into place and perform much better for all the nice fans.
Match History
| Match Date | Opponent | Competition | Result | Goal Scorers |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| July 12, 2013 | 3-1 L |
Shrek | ||
| July 20, 2013 | 1-0 W |
Quads | ||
| September 21, 2013 | 2-0 L | |||
| October 5, 2013 | 1-0 W |
Shrek | ||
| October 25, 2013 | 4-2 W |
Shrek | ||
| October 26, 2013 | 3-0 W |
Patrick Bateman | ||
| October 27, 2013 | 2-1 W |
Shrek | ||
| October 27, 2013 | 1-1 D |
Shrek | ||
| November 16, 2013 | 2-1 L |
Shrek | ||
| November 22, 2013 | 1-1 D |
Shrek | ||
| November 24, 2013 | 4-4 D |
Shrek | ||
| January 11, 2014 | 1-0 L | |||
| January 19, 2014 | 1-1 D |
Shrek | ||
| April 6, 2014 | 2-1 L |
[s4s]-Tan | ||
| April 11, 2014 | 3-3 D |
Patrick Bateman | ||
| April 13, 2014 | 1-0 W | Patrick Bateman  42'
| ||
| April 19, 2014 | 2-1 W | Patrick Bateman 13', 70'
| ||
| April 26, 2014 | 5-0 L | |||
| May 31, 2014 | 2-1 L | Patrick Bateman 33'
| ||
| June 7, 2014 | 2-1 W | [s4s]-Tan 34', 39'
| ||
| July 19, 2014 | 4-2 W | Cory Baxter 16', 37' Patrick Bateman 33'[s4s]-Tan 82'
| ||
| July 26, 2014 | 2-2 D |
Cory Baxter | ||
| July 27, 2014 | 2-1 L |
Topkek | ||
| July 27, 2014 | 1(6)-1(5) L |
[s4s]-Tan | ||
| February 14, 2015 | 3-0 W |
Topkek | ||
| February 20, 2015 | 5-0 W |
Dubs | ||
| February 22, 2015 | 1-1 D |
[s4s]-Tan | ||
| February 28, 2015 | 3-0 W |
D A N K M E M E S | ||
| March 1, 2015 | 3-2 L |
Patrick Bateman | ||
| July 31, 2015 | 1-1 D | Patrick Bateman 65'
| ||
| August 2, 2015 | 4-1 W | [s4s]-Tan 4', 74', 83' Patrick Bateman 34'
| ||
| August 8, 2015 | 4-3 L | Patrick Bateman 13', 44', 70'
| ||
| October 24, 2015 | 1-0 W | Patrick Bateman 34'
| ||
| October 30, 2015 | 3-1 L | Patrick Bateman 71'
| ||
| November 1, 2015 | 4-3 W | Patrick Bateman 4', 90+' [s4s]-Tan 30'Ebin 42'
| ||
| November 8, 2015 | 2-1 W | [s4s]-Tan 18' Patrick Bateman 87'
| ||
| November 14, 2015 | 4-3 W (a.e.t.) | Patrick Bateman 31', 78' Topkek 40'Snek Court 111'
| ||
| November 15, 2015 | 2-0 L | |||
| February 20, 2016 | 4-0 W | Patrick Bateman 7', 73', 85' [s4s]-Tan 29'
| ||
| February 26, 2015 | 1-1 D | Patrick Bateman 25'
| ||
| February 28, 2016 | 4-0 L | |||
| March 5, 2016 | 2(4)-2(3) W | Nice Grill 41' Patrick Bateman 59'
| ||
| March 6, 2016 | 3-2 L | Topkek 14' Patrick Bateman 45+3'
| ||
| August 6, 2016 | 2-2 D | Topkek 38' Patrick Bateman 61'
| ||
| August 12, 2016 | 2-1 W | Topkek 35' Patrick Bateman 42'
| ||
| August 14, 2016 | 2-1 W | Patrick Bateman 30' Nice Grill 53'
| ||
| August 20, 2016 | 3-0 L | |||
| February 11, 2017 | 3-1 W | Topkek 21' Patrick Bateman 53', 80'
| ||
| February 17, 2017 | 1-0 L | |||
| February 19, 2017 | 2-1 W | Topkek 38', 43'
| ||
| February 25, 2017 | 5-2 L | Patrick Bateman 45+0', 58'
| ||
| July 28, 2017 | 3-2 L | Patrick Bateman 18' Keksandra 90+2'
| ||
| July 30, 2017 | 3-3 D | Patrick Bateman 48', 90+0' Keksandra 7'
| ||
| August 5, 2017 | 1-2 L | Keksandra 90+2'
| ||
| October 27, 2017 | 1-3 L | Patrick Bateman 45+0'
| ||
| October 29, 2017 | 1-2 W | Patrick Bateman 21', 90+0'
| ||
| October 29, 2017 | 2-1 W | TOPKEK 15', 59'
| ||
| May 4,2018 | 2-0 W | Patrick Bateman 23' Slut Sanae  30'
| ||
| May 6,2018 | 1-2 L | Patrick Bateman 19'
| ||
| May 11,2018 | 2-3 L | Patrick Bateman 41' Keksandra 87'
| ||
| May 14, 2018 | 3-1 W | Patrick Bateman 8', 53' Keksandra 90+2'
| ||
| October 26, 2018 | 2-0 W | Topkek 51' Patrick Bateman 69' (pen.)
| ||
| October 28, 2018 | 3-1 W | Nice Grill 13' Topkek 33' Patrick Bateman 52'
| ||
| November 3, 2018 | 5-1 W | Nice Grill 10' Keksandra 45+4', 90+7' Topkek 49' Flowre 85'
| ||
| November 10, 2018 | 1(4)-1(3) L | Patrick Bateman 59'
| ||
| February 16, 2018 | 5-2 W | Topkek 11', 28' Patrick Bateman 52', 87' Keksandra 66'
| ||
| February 22, 2019 | 5-2 L | Keksandra 18' Patrick Bateman 81'
| ||
| February 24, 2019 | 7-3 W | Topkek 6', 37' Patrick Bateman 58' Keksandra 50', 62', 61', 77'
| ||
| March 2, 2019 | 5-4 W (a.e.t.) | Patrick Bateman 22', 41', 51' Topkek 105+2', 117'
| ||
| March 3, 2019 | 3-1 W | Patrick Bateman 47' Keksandra 68' Topkek 88'
| ||
| March 3, 2019 | 1-2 L (a.e.t.) | Topkek 38'
| ||
| March 3, 2019 | 4-3 W | Keksandra 13', 18' Patrick Bateman 83' Nice Grill 90+1'
| ||
| July 20, 2019 | 0-1 L | |||
| July 26, 2019 | 0-4 L | |||
| July 28, 2019 | 1-1 D | Patrick Bateman 22'
|
Tournament History
| Competition | Win | Draw | Loss | End result | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| All friendlies | 3 | 1 | 4 | >friendliest team >lose most of your friendlies | |
 2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Qualifiers |
3 | 1 | 0 | 1st - Qualified | >""""winning"""" a fetus |
 2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup |
0 | 2 | 1 | 25th - Relegated | >almost losing to autopilot /cgl/ >letting it slip against /r9k/ |
 2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup |
2 | 1 | 2 | 16th - Promoted | >getting blown the fuck out by OaB /ic/ |
 2014 4chan Summer Cup |
1 | 1 | 2 | 10th - Held Promotion | First Elite Cup; The Cup of Cory |
 2015 4chan Winter Cup |
3 | 1 | 1 | 5th - Held Promotion | Almost made it to the semifinals. Fucking /tg/. |
 2015 4chan Summer Cup |
1 | 1 | 1 | 17th - Relegated | 
|
 2015 4chan Autumn Babby Cup |
4 | 0 | 2 | 5th - Promoted | >SACKING THE MANAGER FOR FINISHING 5TH |
 2016 4chan Winter Cup |
2 | 1 | 2 | 7th - Held Promotion | >lost 3-2 in the quarterfinals again |
 2016 4chan Summer Cup |
2 | 1 | 1 | 15th - Held Promotion | Killed in the Ro16 by /adv/. |
 2017 4chan Winter Cup |
2 | 0 | 2 | 15th - Held Promotion | THAT. FUCKING. KAT. |
 2017 4chan Summer Cup |
0 | 1 | 2 | 28th - Relegated | The Dark Era begins. |
 2017 4chan Autumn Babby Cup |
2 | 0 | 1 | 17th - Failed to Promote | The first of two 6-Point Hells. |
 2018 4chan Spring Babby Cup |
2 | 0 | 1 | 19th - Failed to Promote | YOU GOT BEAT BY /T/. The second of the aforementioned Hells. |
 2018 4chan Autumn Babby Cup |
3 | 0 | 1 | 11th - Promoted | Freed from Hell, Lost in the Ro16 (again) thanks to Patrick "Flowre" Bateman. Nice dubs though. |
 2019 4chan Winter Cup |
4 | 0 | 2 | 3rd Place - Held Promotion | WON THE THIRD PLACE TROPHY. |
 2019 4chan Summer Cup |
0 | 1 | 2 | 29th Place - Relegated | Third Place curse strikes |
Statistics and Honors
Player Statistics
Note: players in italics are no longer active.
| Player | Goals |
|---|---|
| Patrick Bateman | 65 |
| Keksandra | 30 |
| Topkek | 26 |
| Shrek | 17 |
| Nice Grill | 6 |
| Cory Baxter | 3 |
| D A N K M E M E S | 2 |
| Ebin | 1 |
| Flowre | 1 |
| Snek Court | 1 |
| Quads | 1 |
| Player | Assists |
|---|---|
| Topkek | 21 |
| Patrick Bateman | 18 |
| Keksandra | 12 |
| Nice Grill | 11 |
| Ebin | 9 |
| D A N K M E M E S | 5 |
| :^) | 4 |
| Shrek | 4 |
| Snek Court | 3 |
| Jack Ruselel | 2 |
| Ses | 2 |
| Ass | 1 |
| Bury Smolhead | 1 |
| Cowe | 1 |
| Yosho | 1 |
| Youd Be Surprise | 1 |
| Awoo~ | 1 |
| Cory Baxter | 1 |
| Me On The Left | 1 |
| Ojamajo Doremi | 1 |
| Yee | 1 |
| zrg | 1 |
| Player | Saves |
|---|---|
| Walruse | 50 |
| #fortune | 29 |
| Doge | 28 |
| Kogasa | 27 |
| Swaglord | 20 |
| Youd Be Suprise | 8 |
| Le Purple Palmtree Man | 5 |
| My OC | 4 |
| Slowpoke | 3 |
| Donut Man | 2 |
Individual Honors
2013 Autumn Fetus
Golden Boot:
Shrek, 7 goals2013 Autumn Fetus
Joint Golden Ball:
Patrick Bateman, 5 assists
2014 Summer Cup
Goal of the Tournament:
Cory Baxter, vs. /pol/
2015 Winter Cup
Joint Golden Ball:
Ebin, Nice Grill2015 Winter Cup
Player of the Tournament:
Patrick Bateman
2019 Winter Cup
Joint Best Player2019 Winter Cup
Goal of the Tournament
Nice Grill
Team Honors
2015 Winter Cup
Match of the Tournament
[s4s] - /tg/2015 Winter Cup
Best Matches
2015 Summer Cup
Match of the Tournament
/gd/ - [s4s]
2015 4chan Autumn Babby
Match of the Tournament
[s4s] - /sp/2019 Winter Cup
3rd Place
Rivalries
You'd think the nicest team in the 4chan Cup wouldn't have rivalries, but youd be suprise :^)
Board Rivalries
Sh*tpost Bowl: 
/s4s/ v. /b/ 
Newfigs to [s4s] consider it to be a "new /b/", in that they're both filled with ironic shitposting funposting, dubs threads, and useless content OC, but everyone knows [s4s] is better, both as a board and as a team. The only official Cup match these two teams have ever played against each other was [s4s]'s second ever, and it ended in a 1-0 win for [s4s]. 1W - 0D - 0L
Dumb Frogposting Bowl: /s4s/ v. /r9k/ 
Although Pepes and Sadfrogs are some of the most commonly-posted images on /r9k/, they are looked down upon on [s4s], and anyone who posts one of these images will be referred to as a "dumb frogposter". [s4s] and /r9k/ do share one similarity, however: they were, at one point, the only boards on 4chan's header board list that resided in brackets by themselves. This rivalry sat at 2 draws up until Autumn 2017, when [s4s] pulled ahead with a win, being the only team to beat /r9k/ that entire cup. 1W - 2D - 0L
Meta Rivalries
"Seriously Guys It's Not Funny Anymore": /s4s/ v. /gd/ 
Never ever. NEVER EVER. 0W - 0D - 4L
Checkb Owl: /s4s/ v. /lgbt/ 
In this matchup of two provisionals, something always ends up getting checked. If [s4s] win, you check these dubs, and if /lgbt/ win, you check your FUCKING PRIVILEGE, YOU WHITE CIS SCUM. This rivalry has seen two matchups, a 1-1 draw in the 2013 Autumn Fetus, and a 2-1 /lgbt/ win in the 2014 Summer Friendlies. 0W - 1D - 1L
Friendshipb Owl aka Together Forever, Jr.: /s4s/ v. /mlp/ 
Fitting to the rivalry's name, their first face-off ended in the friendliest of results, a 1-1 draw in the 2015 4chan Winter Cup that saw both teams continue through to the knockout stages. Their second, however, was slightly less amicable, as Dubs FC pulled ahead with a 3-1 victory in the 2018 4chan Autumn Babby Cup. Despite this, both teams again advanced. >rape and the rest of the pastel ponies grabbed their first win of the rivalry in the third matchup, with a 5-2 win in the 2019 4chan Winter Cup. Yet again, both [s4s] and /mlp/ qualified for the knockout rounds. The rivalry currently stands all square, with each team having a win and a draw to their names. 1W - 1D - 1L
Gallery
The [s4s]-/x/ match from Winter 2015 summed up in one image.
[s4s] doing what only [s4s] can.
Keksandra rusing /adv/ defender s/adv/irgin after he allows an 87th minute Patrick Bateman goal.
[s4s]'s Summer 2017 medals enjoying a photo op en route to their first match.
Keksandra embracing the Third Place Trophy™ she and the rest of Dubs FC claimed after the 2019 Winter Cup.
Quotes
- "But yeah seriously, /s4s/ is pretty good."
- — DrBorisG
- — DrBorisG
On his favorite team in the cup :^)
- "IT CAN'T BE, IT FUCKING CAN'T BE! OH MY GOD, IT'S FOUR FOR BATEMAN!"
- — DrBorisG
- — DrBorisG
After Patrick Bateman scored the final of five [s4s] goals against /x/ in the 2015 4chan Winter Cup.
- "BATEMAN! BATEMAN SENDS [S4S] TO WINTER!"
- — Old Man Sou
- — Old Man Sou
After Patrick Bateman scored in the 87th minute to secure a 2-1 victory over /adv/ and a berth in the 2016 4chan Winter Cup.
- "Ninety plus four, Ses on a corner kick, here we go!"
- — DrBorisG
- — DrBorisG
- "Seeeess..."
- — Jack
- — Jack
- "Here comes that pause abuse, he already got one assist on it--"
- — Kekkels
- — Kekkels
- "Nah, not unless, n--OH, OH YEAH, MAYBE, OKAY! NICE GRILL, NICE GAME! Nice Grill on the Squat Toilet! I got nothin' for this."
- — DrBorisG
- — DrBorisG
- "Well, I think we know what Goal of the Tournament is going to be."
- — Blinky
- — Blinky
The commentary booth's reaction to Nice Grill's improbable last-gasp volley against to win the 2019 4chan Winter Cup Third Place Match against /vg/.
Trivia
- In '87, Huey released this; Fore!, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip To Be Square". A song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends. It's also a personal statement about the band itself.
- There have been three times that one [s4s] player has scored 4 goals in a match: Shrek against /r9k/ in Autumn '13, Bateman against /x/ in Summer '15, and Keksandra against /sp/ in Winter '19. Despite this, not every match was an [s4s] victory: Shrek's double brace was not enough to take all 3 points, as a ROBOT9001 hat trick meant the game ended 4-all.
| |||||||||||||