Difference between revisions of "/trv/ Roster"

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m (Descriptions for Ladder Salesman and Peruvian Guide)
 
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|align="center" | '''Minsk Ladder Salesman'''
 
|align="center" | '''Minsk Ladder Salesman'''
 
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|align="center" | This humble Belarussian man cements the defense, using an old trick on the unsuspecting opponents. [https://archive.4plebs.org/trv/thread/1451005/#q1451163 Backstory].
 
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|align="center" | '''Peruvian Guide'''
 
|align="center" | '''Peruvian Guide'''
 
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|align="center" | /trv/ recruited him somewhere off the beaten path in the Andes. He shows his best play against young western women engaged in a relationship. Sometimes leaves the pitch together with them. [https://archive.4plebs.org/trv/thread/995985/#997516 Backstory].
 
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Latest revision as of 13:44, 1 November 2019

Sub Starter Silver Gold Vice-captain

Vice-Captain

Captain
Captain


  GK
Goalkeepers
Name Picture Description
1 Darién Gap Darién Gap.jpg The legend from Panama, an impassable expanse despite efforts to penetrate him since 1971. "The Gap's closed!"
12 Is it Safe?
(formerly Izzit Safe)
Izzit Safe.jpg Naturally cautious, Izzit was born to be a Goalkeeper. Often found clicking through Travel Warnings on gun crime in Rio de Janeiro or piracy in Somalia, before booking flights anyway.


  CB
Centre Backs
Name Picture Description
2 Rick Steves Rick Steves.jpg The patron saint of the "Eurotrip", the highly-watched Rick blends continental finesse with great tactical knowledge accumulated over nine seasons. A constant source of inspiration to young American players.
3 Begpackers Trv logo.png TBD
42 Amsterdam Stonerbro Amsterdam Stonerbro.jpg Loves to frequent "coffee shops" when not hashing his opponents. He will constantly ask you which is the best to visit, as if he had forgotten he just asked the day before. Don't let the glazed expression and shaggy hair fool you, he is one of the Dutch fields' finest buds, with eyes only for the green!
14 >travelling with gf Trv logo.png TBD
7 Transsiberian Drinking Adventure
(formerly Boris Transsiberyan)
Transsiberian.png As soon as you realize there is nothing to do during the weeklong trip, you revert to a familiar way of fighting off boredom.


  LMF
Left Midfielders
Name Picture Description


  CMF
Central Midfielders
Name Picture Description
6 Squat Toilet Squat Toilet.jpg The bane of any visitor to parts of the world with a non-Western bathroom culture, opponents of Squat Toilet will no doubt find him difficult to avoid, confusing and even terrifying.


  RMF
Right Midfielders
Name Picture Description
8 Karl Pilkington Karl Pilkington.jpg One of Britain's finest talents, and one of the team's most loved members. Known to shake opponents out of their comfort zone, and get abroad of even the trickiest challenges. Many have taken him for an idiot, but Karl always gets the last laugh on the football pitch.
22 Desperate Weeaboo Desperate Weeaboo.jpg Only has $400 to his name, limited understanding of Kanji, and five days free in April; but goddamn he will dream of his true homeland and ignore anyone who questions his rationale.

Known as Grorious "Nip" Nippon until a mix-up with the /int/ player of the same name lead to events only described by the team's coaching staff as "regrettable" and "diplomatically testing".


  LWF
Left Wing Forwards
Name Picture Description
9 Couchsurfer Rapist Couchsurfer Rapist.jpg Brought into the team after impressing with his thrust and determination. An amicable and generous man off the pitch, team practice has shown he will pounce at the tiniest glimmer of vulnerability, and leave any opposing defence spread wide open and feeling particularly violated.


  RWF
Right Wing Forwards
Name Picture Description
10 Real Traveller™ Real Traveller.jpg Always keen to clarify he is "a traveller, not a tourist", Real Traveller sees himself above package holidays, cruises, guided tours and Facebook status updates. His disdain for commercial tourism stretches so far he usually makes his own way to matches, rather than using the more mainstream team bus.


  CF
Centre Forwards
Name Picture Description
69 Sex Tourist
Captain
Sex Tourist.jpg /trv/'s star man and top scorer returns to his homeland after several seasons in the Thai leagues. A shifty player, one of /trv/'s most requested for interviews, good around the box and at poking it into tight spaces.


Unsorted
Name Picture Description
66 Thai Ladyboy Trv logo.png TBD
86 Chinese Tour Group Trv logo.png TBD
37 Minsk Ladder Salesman Trv logo.png This humble Belarussian man cements the defense, using an old trick on the unsuspecting opponents. Backstory.
92 wtf Pakistan looks like THIS? Wtf pakistan.jpg "I bet you, an ignorant first worlder, never knew that Pakistan looks like pic related! Please follow my endless shill threads to become convinced"
4 whatarethewomenlike Trv logo.png TBD
51 Peruvian Guide Trv logo.png /trv/ recruited him somewhere off the beaten path in the Andes. He shows his best play against young western women engaged in a relationship. Sometimes leaves the pitch together with them. Backstory.
33 Paris Syndrome Paris Syndrome.png I cannot believe Paris does not look like the postcards. Travelling is so overrated. By the way, where are any French people in here?
38 Çabër Trv logo.png TBD
11 I'm gay, if that matters Trv logo.png TBD
5 Boomer Cruise Trv logo.png TBD


Former Players
Name Picture Description
16 Fückse Ibiza Fückse Ibiza.jpg One of the Bundesliga's most prominent members, coaxed out of his love of being surrounded only by his own countrymen no matter where he goes -- which is always to Spanish islands. Notoriously cranky around those verdammt Inselaffen. He will reserve a spot for the ball in the opponents net promptly at 7:30 in the morning and will not relent until it is there. Was found lying unconcious in a pool of vomit outside Pacha shortly after the 2013 4chan Summer Cup and quietly dropped from the squad.
17 Chris McCandless Chris McCandless.jpg An icon of /trv/. A loner, and considered too self-righteous by his team-mates, "Supertramp" was nevertheless quick, fearless and has endless stamina, even if sometimes to his detriment. Hated berries and being told what to do. McCandless went his own way, as usual, after the 2013 4chan Summer Cup Friendlies, joining new team /out/, before fittingly disappearing altogether from the Cup.
23 >Bumping on /trv/ BumpingTRV.png Always at the top, but for no good reason. Impatient and obviously new to the team, but occasionally has something to contribute, even if known for storming off to the lockers if he doesn't get his way, right away. Banished quickly.
41 Wiki Dreamin' Wiki Dreamin.jpg Not much can be said of Wiki Dreamin', 3rd choice goalkeeper until he was dropped following the 2013 4chan Winter Cup having not played a single game in goal for the team, only coming on as a centre forward against /sci/ in Autumn 2012 so others would not be fatigued. Spent far too long dreaming of epic journeys to foreign fields on Wikitravel and not enough time training.
4 Itsa Slowboard Itsa Slowboard.jpg Slow and steady wins the race, don't forget the sagely pace. Slowboard is known to frequently quibble with refs and other visiting teams' players who don't appreciate his patient methodical style. Did you even read the sticky? Earned a place in the 2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup All-Stars squad in recogniton of /trv/ only conceding a single goal in the group stage, then a joint Cup record, under his watch. Finally fell off page 10 and retired prior to the 2017 4chan Spring Babby Cup.
8 VICEguy VICEguy.jpg A "journalist" in his day-job, Shane Smith has seen it all: from the sex dens and dictatorships of the Far East to the bloody civil wars of post-colonial Africa. Expect to be similarly mesmerised by his skills on the football pitch. Lost focus and dropped before the 2017 4chan Spring Babby Cup, spending too much time arguing about politics instead of doing what the fans and coaches wanted to see.
12 Noobius Expedia Noobius Expedia.jpg Rarely used Goalkeeper, except by idiots. His wicked, if unintended, Free Kick against /sci/ earned Noobius a place in the 2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup All-Stars squad, and a stint as Player of the Week as one of the few scoring keepers in Cup history. Released before the 2017 4chan Summer Cup for demanding unexpected exorbitant fees.
19 Sven Scandiboo Sven Scandiboo.jpg "Did you guys know Norway is one of the most developed, least religious nations on earth? Isn't that awesome?" The only thing Sven cherishes more than fermented fish and his absence of any social skills or warmth, is his equitable sharing of the ball and sense of justice and fair play. A noticeable change in his political opinions on Scandinavia and visa problems before the 2017 4chan Summer Cup led to his dismissal from the squad.
23 Light Packer Light Packer.jpg He may only have brought two shirts and one pair of socks to last him the entire tournament, but at least he didn't have to pay for extra baggage. Known to frequently clash with other players over his questionable personal hygiene, and the excessive time he spends stood around the laundry room undressed.
3 Nigel Roppongi Nigel Roppongi.jpg No one is quite able to say how long this Nigerian-born player has been in the Japanese leagues, but he speaks fluent Japanese and is said to have had a few Japanese wives. When not making white tourists in Japan feel inadequate and uncomfortable, he is forcefully daring his opponents to even try to enter his space.
14 Billy "Bali" Bogan Billy Bogan.jpg An Australian national hero. When not surfing or buying out entire tiny island shops of all their beer, Bogan loves to hang around with all 30 of his like-minded mates, get new tribal tattoos, style his mullet, and start fights. But don't think that means you should underestimate him on the field, ya cunts.
15 Neckbeard TEFL Neckbeard Teefle.jpg Neckbeard has spent years in the Asian leagues, teaching young Koreans, Chinese, Vietnamese and Japanese how to pass a ball and chant the most offensive football songs in English. While his teaching credentials may be questionable, his skills on the field are no joke. Neckbeard is notable for advocating chastity, though he insists he could have any woman he wants, as "lusty thoughts detract from thrusty shots".
17 Dougie Canuckflag Dougie Canuckflag.jpg Born in a small hamlet on the border with Saskatchewan and North Dakota, Dougie is rumoured to nonetheless be American by passport, but is seldom seen without a Canadian flag patched on his luggage and frequent declarations of how much he loves the Queen, maple syrup and ice hockey. Just in case. However, there is no mystery to the quiet ferocity with which he plays.
18 Sickof Murrica Sickof Murrica.jpg From the plains of Nebraska, Murrica is a down-home corn-fed country boy. And he can be found anywhere that is not the damnable USA. When not contemplating the merits of Tibetan Buddhism, Scandinavian social welfare or New Zealand immigration details, he can be found at the nearest Starbucks or McDonalds, planning his next great move in the world's sport that none of his stupid countrymen understand.
5 Luke Skyscanner Luke Skyscanner.jpg All in the blink of an eye, Skyscanner never makes a move without first scrutinizing all possible ways to get to the goal in the most effective and quickest manner, even if it means foregoing a direct shot by himself, as he is always keen to assist his fellow travellers.
19 Chin Ka-Sol Chin Ka-Sol.jpg A relatively new player in the global game, with wads of cash to splash, and a coach-load of extended family in tow. If he cannot respect the cultures, monuments or public urination laws of the countries he visits, do not expect him to respect his opponents!
7 Superpornowat Farangbang Superpornowat Farangbang.jpg Flexible in all meanings of the word, whether vaulting over stiff opposition or penetrating through tight holes. Some rumours say this Thai hero might be a woman, and is actually a foreigner. But with the face of an angel, and composition rigid as an iron rod, balls rarely pass Farangbang without a sweaty story to tell. A frequent companion to /trv/ star player Sex Tourist both on and off the pitch.
20 Benjamin Birthright Benjamin Birthright.jpg Whilst his Jewish ancestry might be questionable, his technical ability with the ball at his feet is certainly not. Benjamin's experience in taking advantage of free trips to the Promised Land, whilst withstanding the constant pressure to make him permanently move there, will put him in good stead in /trv/'s midfield.
21 James "Hopper" Vagabond James Vagabond.jpg Though he lost a finger to a boxcar jump gone wrong, James has played short hauls in teams across Canada, USA, Mexico, Mongolia and Australia. When the whistle blows, the Hopper is already ducking and unseen by conductors, yard bosses and referees alike.
11 Gapyah Backpacker Gapyah Backpacker.jpg One of the younger members of the team, fresh from his trip to Burma where he stayed at an intensive 12-week jungle training camp, funded by his parents and the Myanamar correctional services. He is untested for tournaments, but his father is a corporate team sponsor. Gapyah plans to become a barrister or a Tory politician once he completes his studies at Oxford. Known for his subtle yet biting remarks on the field to opponents of middle-class origins, naturally he ignores working-class peasants.