Difference between revisions of "/u/"
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Revision as of 10:07, 2 April 2018
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1)
In a part of 4chan unseen by most other than its citizens and the occasional lost /v/irgin, sits a place called /u/. Slow and elegant posting is preferred here, and you will find no pornographic material on this NSFW board, for it is far too lewd and impure. Sex? Not pure. Kissing? Still not pure. Hand-holding? Just pure enough. The /u/nicorns of /u/ like to sit down for a cup of tea and a nice, long, slow discussion about their favorite girls' love. After years of suffering /u/ finally got a triumphant yuri end in the 2018 4chan Winter Cup.
History
- For earlier history: /u/ History
2018 4chan Winter Cup: AT LAST
In the span of two years, the /u/nicorns have reached the elite finals and lost both times, the frustration of being denied that elusive first star was steadily growing by the time the 2018 4chan Winter Cup happened. Unfortunately the group stage draw couldn’t possibly be more disastrous: the /u/nicorns found themselves in the company of Summer 17 knockouts rival /his/ and two white whales they can't manage to get off their back: /fit/, who they’ll face for the 5th time and who denied the team their first star in Winter 2016 and /mlp/ who has the grating habit of winning every cup where they’re grouped with /u/.
Despite the ominous circumstances, the team was out for blood and it showed in the first match against /mlp/; capitalizing on a numerous questionable decisions by the ponies, Feito-chan and Akkarin carried the team to a 3-0 victory, the first of any kind they had over /mlp/ who fumbled all over the place, with Derpy Hooves even contributing to /u/’s scoring. Up next the rematch against /his/ was more one-sided than in the previous Summer; Feito-chan and Akkarin once again teaming up to give /u/ a 2-1 win, although Feito-chan ate a second consecutive yellow, forcing her to sit the third match. This would thankfully turn out to be inconsequential; /u/ advanced and /fit/ was relegated before the last match which ended in a 0-1 loss for /u/.
In the Round of 16, /u/ faced a very dynamic /co/ and it showed right at the start with /co/lette breaking the game open. /u/ tried desperately to answer for 80 minutes, until a miracle happened, and CB Low Impact Consensual Cuddling made a heroic run past the /co/ defence to level the game at 90+1, sending it to extra time. This proved to be the end of /co/ who completely run out of steam and Befriending sealed the deal 2-1 to propel /u/ forward. The quarterfinals against /sci/ were a completely one-sided affair, Akkarin put one in and Homucifer finally woke up and put two in the net to end the game 3-0 and face /n/ in the semifinals. /n/ boldly decided to park a gigantic bus in front of their net and play the long game, which resulted in the game going to extra time scoreless, but eventually Homucifer found an opening and Feito-chan finished it shortly afterwards, taking advantage of /n/ going full panic mode, and the game ended 2-0.
And then it was, once again, time for an elite final, /u/’s third elite final. And, of course, it had to be against /mlp/. Coincidentally /mlp/ was also playing their third elite final, but already had two stars to their name and was eyeing their third, while /u/ was still desperately chasing their first. The two sides were absolutely determined and turned the final into an incredible slugfest with both teams constantly trying to outmanoeuvre the other. /u/ got first blood thanks to Homucifer but /mlp/ soon retaliated, then got the lead again courtesy of Purest form of Love only to see /mlp/ go back level; tackles, cards, near misses, saves, clearances, wild shots just kept happening in quick succession, increasingly building up a tension. Eventually the game went to extra time and just kept getting wilder and wilder, until Purest form of Love completed her brace to put /u/ ahead a third time. It looked like the end of it, but no, of course no, of course /mlp/ HAD to sneak a stoppage goal at 120+2 and send the game to the coinflip of penalties. Despair was high amongst the /u/nicorns, as /mlp/ had already won two penalty shootouts that day, and now the star was to be decided by who would blink first in RNGesus’ cruellest joke. In a buzzing atmosphere, the strikers took their turn in front of the net, then the midfielders, then the goalkeepers, then the defenders…none of the players slipped for 9 rounds but then, /mlp/’s Hi Anon, tried to be cheeky and shot it right at an unsurprised Madokami, leaving the outcome on the match and the whole cup on Science Babies.
- " “Science Babies…IN! /U/ WINS A STAR! /U/ WINS A CUP! LESBIAN DOMINANCE!” "
- — DrBorisG !!uWmnP2zIyZF
- — DrBorisG !!uWmnP2zIyZF
At last
AT LAST
At last /u/ triumphed and finally got their own star. It a was long and hard-earned yuri end, and it’s with a much lighter heart that the /u/nicorns await the 2018 4chan Summer Cup.
Players
- Main Article: /u/ roster
- Old rosters: /u/ Historical Rosters
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The starting 11 (With a little help from Sealdoka)
Tournament History
| Competition | Win | Tie | Loss | End result | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
 2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup |
0 | 1 | 2 | Group stage | |
 2013 4chan Spring Babby Cup |
1 | 0 | 1 | Group stage | Promoted due to Dragongate |
 2013 4chan Summer Cup |
2 | 1 | 1 | Ro16 | |
 2014 4chan Winter Cup |
0 | 2 | 1 | Group stage | Relegated |
 2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup |
3 | 2 | 1 | Quarter final | Promoted |
 2014 4chan Summer Cup |
3 | 1 | 1 | Quarter final | |
 2015 4chan Winter Cup |
2 | 2 | 1 | Quarter final | |
 2015 4chan Summer Cup |
3 | 0 | 2 | Quarter final | >4th (fourth) quarter final finish in a row |
 2016 4chan Winter Cup |
5 | 1 | 1 | Runner up | Curse broken |
 2016 4chan Summer Cup |
0 | 2 | 1 | Group stage | Relegated |
 2016 4chan Autumn Babby Cup |
4 | 1 | 2 | 3rd place | Promoted |
 2017 4chan Winter Cup |
1 | 1 | 1 | Group stage | Relegated |
 2017 4chan Spring Babby Cup |
1 | 1 | 2 | Ro16 | Promoted |
 2017 4chan Summer Cup |
5 | 1 | 1 | Runner up | Yo-yo broken |
 2018 4chan Winter Cup |
6 | 0 | 1 | Champions | AT LAST |
Match History
- For earlier match history: /u/ Match History
Official Matches
| Date | Opponent | Competition | Result | Scorers |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| February 17, 2018 |  /mlp/
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2018 4chan Winter Cup Group G
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3-0 W | Akkarin  15' Feito-chan 21' Derpy Hooves  86'
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| February 23, 2018 |  /his/
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2018 4chan Winter Cup Group G
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2-1 W | Feito-chan 26' Akkarin 50'
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| February 25, 2018 |  /fit/
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2018 4chan Winter Cup Group G
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0-1 L | |
| March 3, 2018 |  /co/
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2018 4chan Winter Cup Round of 16
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2-1 W | 90+1' Low Impact Consensual Cuddling 96' Befriending
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| March 4, 2018 |  /sci/
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2018 4chan Winter Cup Quarterfinals
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3-0 W | 23' Akkarin 63', 77' Homucifer
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| March 4, 2018 |  /n/
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2018 4chan Winter Cup Semifinals
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2-0 W | 104' Homucifer 111' Feito-chan
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| March 4, 2018 | /mlp/
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2018 4chan Winter Cup Final
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3-3 (10-9 PK) W | 36' Homucifer 79', 94' Purest Form of Love
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Invitationals
| Date | Opponent | Competition | Result | Scorers |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| January 14, 2018 |  /y/
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2018 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies | 6-2 W | Are You a Lolicon? 21' Akkarin 29' Science Babies 44', 90+6' Purest Form Of Love 88' Goggles 90+0'
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Goalscoring Hall of Fame
| Player | As Non Medal | As Bronze Medal | As Silver Medal | As Gold Medal |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Homucifer | - | - | 4 | 56 |
| Purest Form of Love | - | - | 0 | 32 |
| Teru Time | 0 | 1 | 20 | - |
| Akkarin | 0 | - | 16 | - |
| Feito-chan | 1 | 3 | - | - |
| Befriending | 2 | 1 | - | - |
| Black Sunshine | 2 | - | - | - |
| Metall/u/rgy | 2 | - | - | - |
| Fingering For World Peace | 2 | - | - | - |
| Low Impact Consensual Cuddling | 1 | - | - | - |
| Macarons | 1 | - | - | - |
| Kuma Shock | 1 | - | - | - |
| Ayayayaya | 1 | - | - | - |
| Erica Hartmann | 0 | 1 | - | - |
| Own goal | 1 | 0 | - | - |
Honors
Team
Weeabowl: Champions
2018 4chan Winter Cup: Champions
Individual
2014 Summer Cup Golden Ball: Homucifer
2015 Winter Cup Golden Glove: Madokami
2016 Winter Cup Golden Boot: Homucifer
Rivalries
 /a/ - The Sisterlyb Owl |
/u/, being a cousin of /a/, can't quite understand why her onee-sama talks so badly about her one moment, then cheers for her to win the next. One way or another, it seems that despite /a/'s constant complaints about how much /u/ has changed, /a/ does feel happy for her when she succeeds. Head to head, /u/ has never lost to /a/, and was even partially responsible for their relegation in the 2014 4chan Summer Cup - only time will tell if /u/'s onee-sama can forgive her, and reestablish their close friendship of old. |
| 1-0-0 |
 /c/ - The Purity Derby |
Though the images and characters posted on /u/ would frequently fit right in on /c/, there exists a schism between the two due to the fact that /u/ would much rather have Cute Girls doing Cute Girls, as opposed to Cute Things. The fact that heterosexual couples are allowed to be posted on /c/ is another strike against her in /u/'s eyes, leading her to deny /c/'s claims of being the purest board there is. The teams have played against each other a number of times over the years; twice during the early friendlies and twice during actual cups. The first time was a 3-0 victory by /u/ in the 2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies, and the second a 2-2 draw in the 2013 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies, a result that was repeated during the group stages of the 2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup. After more than two years apart, both teams got reunited rather surprisingly during the quarterfinals of the 2016 4chan Autumn Babby Cup, where /u/ claimed a 2-1 win. |
| 2-2-0 |
 /y/ - The Uriaoi Bowl |
Forget all about the argument over which type of love is purer (partly because it's obviously the love between two girls). Forget all about their match history, which counts as one Durgenfaf-powered win by /y/ and one friendly win by /u/. No, the real, true reason behind this rivalry is that /y/ stole the precious first-letter board descriptor. Doomed to use the second letter in their name for all eternity, y/u/ri will never truly forgive /y/aoi for such an insult. |
| 1-0-1 |
 /lit/ - The Classyb Owl |
A rivalry built on a mutual appreciation of class and style, /lit/ and /u/ hold no ill will towards each other, instead appreciating the other's awareness of the value of class. These two teams have only ever met once, in the 2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies. The match was a classy, respectable affair, with both teams dressed up to the nines, /lit/ decked out in a curious monochrome suit, and /u/ in a traditional and colour-coordinated miko outfit arrangement. The match ended in the classiest of scorelines; 1-1. |
| 0-1-0 |
Macaron Press
30.08.2013 - Page 1
30.08.2013 - Page 2
Macaron Press 30th August 2013
Mascot
| Name | Image | Description |
|---|---|---|
| Sealdoka | 
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Brought to this universe by Madokami in a belief that the captain and the team needed an unconditional supporter. Not much is known about /u/'s signature supporter aside from her constant chanting of "Homura-Cha~." Sealdoka is currently being taught the rest of the team's names in hopes of providing the most vocal support in the entire tournament. |
Art
(Courtesy of Johnny Hayabusa)
The team that got the COVETED third place trophy in Autumn 2016.
>The absolute state of /u/
Resources
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