/vst/
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| Arma et Butyrum | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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The second child of the 3rd Balkanization of /v/, /vst/ is home to the greatest strategic minds of a generation. Raised on the battlefields of X-Com and Command & Conquer, their skill at leading men to their deaths is unrivaled across the boards. All who dare oppose the unshakable will of /vst/ will crumble before them, as long as nobody forgets to build their pylons.
THREAD STATUS: DOWN
Team History
Spring 2021--Early Campaigns
As a new team set to debut upon the greatest stage of all time, /vst/ launched training operations at a frenzied pace, determined to establish themselves as a major power in the World Cup. It should be noted (despite any claims, official records, or video evidence to the contrary) that /vst/ did not participate in Beta Bowl II, and even if it had, it most certainly would not have spooned out with a -5 GD. What can be determined, however, is that around this time, /vst/ gained crucial knowledge of what does not work, and like the Soviet Union after the Winter War, set out to correct these deficiencies.
After a period of wargames and skirmishing, /vst/ next took to the Spring Friendlies. Whereas other teams foolishly wasted this opportunity on meme strats and wild formations, /vst/ came to conquer, defeating mighty /m/ and establishing dominance over their little brother /vm/. All in all, /vst/ came out of the friendlies with a commanding 3-1 record, proving to all that they are a force to be reckoned with.
With their training complete, /vst/ sounded the drums of war. With >Kane at their head, and the indomitable will of the board behind them, the team marched to the World Cup, and to glory.
Summer 2021--The Greatest Game
Arriving at the World Cup, /vst/ drew into Group I, alongside /toy/, /fit/ and /lit/. /vst/'s debut was ultimately inauspicious, choosing to preserve /toy/'s dignity and instead electing to join its brother boards (and /vt/) in tying their inaugural matches. After a week's bye to plan for their remaining matches, /vst/ partook in the humiliation of /fit/, routing the >2 star team and sending them home with naught but the Wooden Spoon to show for their feeble efforts. However, going into the /lit/ game, there were those who doubted /vst/, saying that tying /toy/ was a sign of weakness and defeating /fit/ proved nothing. /vst/ made fools of them all, defying the New Stadium Curse to crush /lit/ 3-1, tying the record for Highest Average Rating for the first time since 2015, pioneering the +1 meta that would stand for the remainder of the cup, and securing their rightful place as the top team of the group.
Their critics thusly silenced, and the tide of opinion rapidly turning in their favor, /vst/ moved on to the Round of 32, with /s4s/ drawing to face them. The match began well in /vst/'s favor, ceding an early goal--as was rapidly becoming tradition--before striking back with nuclear fury, Nuclear Gandhi claiming a brace and Kane one more to bring the score to 3-1 at halftime.
What happened next is unclear, but later chemical analysis would reveal that Gandhi's halftime tea had been laced with soy milk instead of cow's milk. It is believed that this caused Gandhi to suffer rapid-onset ideological shift, leading him to embrace such vile notions as "Liberalism" and "Pacifism", as he then proceeded to spend the entire second half passing the ball directly to the /s4s/ keeper at every opportunity. Even with /vst/'s offense so utterly crippled, /s4s/ struggled to make a comeback, with only a freak throughball at 90+2 sending the game into extra time and eventually penalties. Unfortunately, despite a heroic performance from the powerliches, /s4s/ eventually squeaked out a single kick ahead, claiming victory by only the most technical of margins. As /vst/ withdrew to get Gandhi an emergency transfusion of Douglas MacArthur's blood, /s4s/ would go on to overpower /soc/, /mlp/, /sp/ and /b/ to claim the World Cup.
Roster
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Match History
Official
| Date | Opponent | Competition | Result | Scorers |
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| 11 JUL 2021 |  /toy/
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2021 4chan World Cup | 1-1 D | KANE LIVES  25'
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| 23 JUL 2021 |  /fit/
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2021 4chan World Cup | 2-1 W | KANE LIVES 10' >99% Chance to Hit 30'
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| 31 JUL 2021 |  /lit/
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2021 4chan World Cup | 3-1 W | KANE LIVES 26' Wololo 44'Nuclear Gandhi 66'
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| 8 AUG 2021 |  /s4s/
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2021 4chan World Cup | 3-3 (2-3 PK) L | Nuclear Gandhi 16', 29' KANE LIVES 42'
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| 24 OCT 2021 |  /jp/
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2021 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 2-0 L | |
| 30 OCT 2021 |  /pol/
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2021 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 3-1 W | Nuclear Gandhi 17', 44' KANE LIVES 82'
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| 5 NOV 2021 |  /gd/
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2021 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 3-1 W | ">99% Chance to hit." 48' Nuclear Gandhi 57'Wololo 70'
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| 7 NOV 2021 |  /vp/
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2021 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 3-1 L | KANE LIVES 23'
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Unofficial
| Date | Opponent | Competition | Result | Scorers |
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| 30 APR 2021 |  /m/
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2021 4chan Spring Friendlies | 1-1 (4-3 PK) W | Wololo 19'
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| 8 MAY 2021 |  /his/
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2021 4chan Spring Friendlies | 2-0 L | |
| 9 MAY 2021 |  /vrpg/
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2021 4chan Spring Friendlies | 3-1 L | Wololo 56'
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| 15 MAY 2021 |  /wsg/
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2021 4chan Spring Friendlies | 3-2 W | >99% Chance to Hit 37' Nuclear Gandhi 53', 57'
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| 21 MAY 2021 |  /vm/
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2021 4chan Spring Friendlies | 2-1 W | Tall/Wide 66' Nuclear Gandhi 78'
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| 29 NOV 2021 |  /vg/
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Weekly Divegrass | 0-0 D | |
| 13 DEC 2021 |  /vr/
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Weekly Divegrass | 4-2 L | KANE LIVES 7, 76'
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| 4 JAN 2022 | /vrpg/
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Weekly Divegrass | 4-4 D | Nuclear Gandhi 14, 56, 79' >99% Chance to hit 23'
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| 18 JAN 2022 |  /vt/
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Weekly Divegrass | 3-0 W | Wololo 10' Nuclear Gandhi 18'KANE LIVES 32'
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| 24 JAN 2022 | /vm/
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Weekly Divegrass | 0-0 D |
Rivalries
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| The Friendly Sibling Rivalry As brothers both by blood and through fire, /vm/ and /vst/ share a bond few boards can comprehend. Nevertheless, /vst/ always delights in reminding its little brother that twitch reflexes are no match for a well-orchestrated plan. |
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Awards & Honors
2021 4chan World Cup:
Best Alternate Goalhorn:
Nuclear Ghandi
Cup Records
| Player | Record | Score | Broken/Tied | Held From | Held To | Current Status |
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| Team | Highest Average Rating | 6.54 | Tied | July 31, 2021 | Current | Tied Record |
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