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Summary
Matchday 1
Proving that unusual formations only work sometimes, fan underdog /ck/ blew out fascist dictator favorite /pol/ in a hard-fought match that saw /ck/'s clean sheet anthem played for the first time. The predicted ultra-elite /pol/ found itself completely shut down by /ck/'s cast iron defense, with even Doom Paul incapable of making it happen.
Poor-form /co/ and continual disappointment /sci/ met today in a long, tiresome game punctuated by amazingly-close misses and some stunning goals. Captain /co/lette's purple and Tucker's blue conditioning kept /co/ from capitalizing on many of their opportunities, while /sci/ used the arcane electrical science of Nikola Tesla to take an early lead. But /co/ pulled ahead with a surprising, shocking, and wonderful free kick goal at the 92" minute thanks to Bill Nye fouling it up just outside the /sci/ box. Beating the odds and winning a game, /co/ has restored our faith in superheroes. Meanwhile, /sci/ proved that they still hadn't found a way to keep their experiments in divegrass from blowing up in their faces.
Matchday 2
Belief in superheroes and miracles paid off as /co/ secured their position in the knockout stage and Winter Cup as they defeated /pol/ in their home stadium. Despite the home court advantage and vastly superior conditions, /pol/ threw away the first half of the match on a defensive strategy that allowed The Flash and Archer, with assistance from /co/lette to score two uncontested goals. Doom Paul gave /pol/ some consolation at the close of the game, but it was too little, too late. /pol/ lost, and were now dependent on a /sci/ victory to keep them in contention.
Unfortunately for /pol/ and /sci/, Group H ended with /co/ and /ck/ on top and in the cup. Despite some terrible conditions for both teams, and Carl Sagan's lecture giving /sci/ a very early one goal lead, /ck/'s forwards overcame the blue defenders of /sci/ to cement their return to a major cup. Impressive performances by ace striker Nachos and a purple Perfect Coffee gave /ck/ the edge it needed to dice /sci/'s exhausted defense.
Matchday 3
With the group already decided, /co/ and /ck/ decided to rest two of its medal players and prepare for their games next weekend. Despite this, they were still able to score three impressive goals against a /ck/ team that seemed incapable of shooting on target or holding them back.
Played on probably the best pitch in the cup, this >just for fun match saw the return of the Bill formation and the 8-1-1 /pol/ blitzkrieg. Bill scored his first and last goal of the cup in this meaningless match. This match also cemented the death of /pol/ as a team, placing it on the same level as /tv/, /g/, and /c/.
Standings
| Team
|
Pld
|
W
|
D
|
L
|
GF
|
GA
|
GD
|
Pts
|
 /co/ |
3 |
3 |
0 |
0 |
7 |
2 |
5 |
9
|
 /ck/ |
3 |
2 |
0 |
1 |
7 |
4 |
3 |
6
|
 /sci/ |
3 |
1 |
0 |
2 |
3 |
7 |
-4 |
3
|
 /pol/ |
3 |
0 |
0 |
3 |
1 |
5 |
-4 |
0
|
/pol/ v /ck/
| Stadium: Stadio Olimpico
|
17 August 2013, 20:00 UTC
|
Attendance: 1691
|
|
|
|
 60', 90+' Nachos
|
|
|
| GK |
1 |
JIDF
|
| RB |
23 |
Austrian Economics
|
| CB |
2 |
Red Pill
|
| LB |
13 |
Statist
|
| DM |
4 |
Mark O'Mara |
|
 90+'
|
| DM |
27 |
Breivik |
|
90+'
|
| RM |
10 |
Jews
|
| CM |
29 |
Daily Reminder |
|
 66' |
|
90+'
|
| LM |
88 |
Hitler
|
| AM |
14 |
Stormfront
|
| CF |
16 |
Doom Paul
|
| Substitutions:
|
| CM |
17 |
Free Market Will Fix It |
|
 90+'
|
| DM |
15 |
Kiker-chan |
|
90+'
|
| DM |
7 |
Nigel Farage |
|
90+'
|
| Manager:
|
| Cozmo !!7bij/P7BcwR
|
|
|
|
|
| GK |
1 |
Cast-Iron Skillet
|
| RB |
2 |
Roadkill Thread |
|
23'
|
| CB |
5 |
Milk Jar |
|
66'
|
| LB |
4 |
Vertical Recipes |
|
66'
|
| DM |
16 |
Masaokis
|
| RM |
18 |
Fridge Ketchup
|
| AM |
8 |
/ck/ Challenge
|
| AM |
11 |
Perfect Coffee |
|
11'
|
| LM |
3 |
Iron Chef |
|
66'
|
| SS |
9 |
Pink Himalayan Salt
|
| CF |
10 |
Nachos
|
| Substitutions:
|
| LB |
14 |
Chicken Nugger |
|
66'
|
| CB |
15 |
Packet Ramen |
|
66'
|
| LM |
7 |
Gordon Ramsay |
|
66'
|
| Manager:
|
| TunaMerchant !!+U8b1gCk0rk
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Nachos (/ck/)
|
|
|
Match Stats
|
|
| 3 (1)
|
Shots (On Target)
|
5 (2)
|
| 2 (0)
|
Fouls (Offside)
|
3 (1)
|
| 3
|
Free Kicks
|
2
|
| 0
|
Free Kicks scored
|
0
|
| 0
|
Corner Kicks
|
1
|
| 24
|
Interceptions
|
18
|
| 49%
|
Possession
|
51%
|
| 83%
|
Passes Completed
|
80%
|
| 8
|
Tackles Won
|
11
|
| 0
|
Saves
|
0
|
/co/ v /sci/
| Stadium: Wembley Stadium
|
17 August 2013, 20:30 UTC
|
Attendance: 1436
|
|
|
| GK |
5 |
The Boulder
|
| RB |
16 |
Spider-man
|
| CB |
7 |
Hope Corgi |
|
64'
|
| LB |
13 |
Doom
|
| CM |
18 |
Dead Parents
|
| CM |
8 |
Sexism |
|
78'
|
| CM |
10 |
Coulson |
|
78'
|
| RM |
1 |
The Flash
|
| AM |
3 |
/co/lette
|
| LM |
21 |
Archer
|
| CF |
9 |
Tucker
|
| Substitutions:
|
| CB |
0 |
Aku |
|
64'
|
| CM |
4 |
Your Favourite Series |
|
78'
|
| CM |
12 |
Brock Samson |
|
78'
|
| Manager:
|
DocSax !!CZDGJzT39aK
Mantis !!JQtP16lnumY
|
|
|
|
|
| GK |
16 |
Stephen Hawking
|
| RB |
6 |
>biology >hard science
|
| CB |
20 |
Sun of Fire/Ice
|
| LB |
21 |
God-Tier Major
|
| DM |
18 |
Richard Dawkins
|
| DM |
8 |
Carl Sagan
|
| RM |
13 |
Putnam Math |
|
64'
|
| LM |
7 |
Koala Face
|
| AM |
2 |
Not Science
|
| AM |
10 |
Nikola Tesla
|
| CF |
1 |
Bill Nye
|
| Substitutions:
|
| RM |
14 |
Epicurus |
|
64'
|
| Manager:
|
| Aitor Karanka !!CmJjMKBhYyd
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Tucker (/co/)
|
|
|
Match Stats
|
|
| 8 (6)
|
Shots (On Target)
|
8 (4)
|
| 0 (0)
|
Fouls (Offside)
|
5 (1)
|
| 5
|
Free Kicks
|
0
|
| 1
|
Free Kicks scored
|
0
|
| 6
|
Corner Kicks
|
2
|
| 19
|
Interceptions
|
26
|
| 47%
|
Possession
|
53%
|
| 76%
|
Passes Completed
|
82%
|
| 7
|
Tackles Won
|
7
|
| 3
|
Saves
|
3
|
/pol/ v /co/
| Stadium: Stadio Olimpico
|
23 August 2013, 20:00 UTC
|
Attendance: 1442
|
|
|
| GK |
1 |
JIDF
|
| RB |
18 |
Fox News
|
| CB |
2 |
Red Pill |
|
86'
|
| LB |
23 |
Austrian Economics
|
| DM |
7 |
Nigel Farage
|
| DM |
27 |
Breivik |
|
68'
|
| RM |
10 |
Jews
|
| CM |
5 |
Penn Jillette |
|
71'
|
| LM |
88 |
Hitler
|
| SS |
14 |
Stormfront
|
| CF |
16 |
Doom Paul
|
| Substitutions:
|
| DM |
15 |
Kiker Chan |
|
68'
|
| CM |
29 |
Daily Reminder |
|
71'
|
| CB |
28 |
Ben Garrison |
|
86'
|
| Manager:
|
| Cozmo !!7bij/P7BcwR
|
|
|
|
|
| GK |
15 |
Jake The Dog
|
| RB |
13 |
Doom |
|
86'
|
| CB |
7 |
Hope Corgi |
|
53' |
|
68'
|
| CB |
16 |
Spider-Man |
|
86'
|
| LB |
10 |
Coulson
|
| RM |
4 |
Your Favourite Series (Cancelled)
|
| CM |
12 |
Brock Samson
|
| CM |
1 |
The Flash
|
| LM |
3 |
/co/lette
|
| AM |
8 |
Archer
|
| CF |
9 |
Tucker
|
| Substitutions:
|
| CB |
0 |
Aku |
|
68'
|
| RB |
11 |
Frank |
|
86'
|
| CB |
2 |
Cyclops |
|
86'
|
| Manager:
|
DocSax !!CZDGJzT39aK
Mantis !!JQtP16lnumY
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Archer (/co/)
|
|
|
Match Stats
|
|
| 6 (4)
|
Shots (On Target)
|
5 (3)
|
| 4 (0)
|
Fouls (Offside)
|
3 (0)
|
| 3
|
Free Kicks
|
4
|
| 0
|
Free Kicks scored
|
0
|
| 3
|
Corner Kicks
|
0
|
| 21
|
Interceptions
|
19
|
| 51%
|
Possession
|
49%
|
| 82%
|
Passes Completed
|
78%
|
| 12
|
Tackles Won
|
11
|
| 1
|
Saves
|
1
|
/ck/ v /sci/
| Stadium: Konami Stadium
|
23 August 2013, 20:30 UTC
|
Attendance: 1330
|
|
|
| GK |
12 |
Sad Crab
|
| RB |
2 |
Roadkill Thread
|
| CB |
5 |
Milk Jar
|
| LB |
4 |
Vertical Recipes
|
| DM |
6 |
Alton Brown |
|
90+'
|
| RM |
3 |
Iron Chef |
|
69'
|
| LM |
7 |
Gordon Ramsay
|
| AM |
11 |
Perfect Coffee
|
| AM |
8 |
/ck/ Challenge
|
| AM |
9 |
Pink Himalayan Salt
|
| CF |
10 |
Nachos
|
| Substitutions:
|
| RM |
22 |
Cooking With Dog |
|
69'
|
| DM |
17 |
Frugal Mode |
|
90+'
|
| Manager:
|
| TunaMerchant !!+U8b1gCk0rk
|
|
|
|
|
| GK |
16 |
Stephen Hawking
|
| RB |
20 |
Sun of Fire/Ice
|
| CB |
6 |
>biology >hard science
|
| CB |
11 |
Transhumanism
|
| LB |
18 |
Richard Dawkins
|
| DM |
9 |
Aquatic Hamster
|
| DM |
8 |
Carl Sagan
|
| RM |
14 |
Epicurus |
|
45'
|
| AM |
2 |
Not Science
|
| LM |
10 |
Nikola Tesla
|
| CF |
1 |
Bill Nye
|
| Substitutions:
|
| RM |
13 |
Putnam Math |
|
45'
|
| Manager:
|
| Aitor Karanka !!CmJjMKBhYyd
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Pink Himalayan Salt (/ck/)
|
|
|
Match Stats
|
|
| 14 (13)
|
Shots (On Target)
|
8 (3)
|
| 2 (2)
|
Fouls (Offside)
|
3 (0)
|
| 3
|
Free Kicks
|
2
|
| 0
|
Free Kicks scored
|
0
|
| 1
|
Corner Kicks
|
2
|
| 18
|
Interceptions
|
22
|
| 48%
|
Possession
|
52%
|
| 75%
|
Passes Completed
|
82%
|
| 4
|
Tackles Won
|
6
|
| 4
|
Saves
|
6
|
/co/ v /ck/
| Stadium: Wembley Stadium
|
25 August 2013, 20:00 UTC
|
Attendance: 1389
|
|
|
| GK |
5 |
The Boulder
|
| RB |
13 |
Doom
|
| CB |
0 |
Aku
|
| LB |
16 |
Spider-Man
|
| CM |
10 |
Coulson
|
| CM |
8 |
Sexism |
|
68'
|
| CM |
19 |
40 Cakes
|
| RM |
1 |
The Flash |
|
68'
|
| AM |
3 |
/co/lette
|
| LM |
21 |
Archer |
|
68'
|
| CF |
9 |
Tucker |
|
59'
|
| Substitutions:
|
| RM |
17 |
Cape Movie Hype |
|
68'
|
| LM |
6 |
Alan Moore |
|
68'
|
| CM |
20 |
Win O' Thread |
|
68'
|
| Manager:
|
DocSax !!CZDGJzT39aK
Mantis !!JQtP16lnumY
|
|
|
|
|
| GK |
23 |
Vegan Shitstorm
|
| RB |
14 |
Chicken Nugger
|
| CB |
15 |
Packet Ramen |
|
51'
|
| LB |
4 |
Vertical Recipes
|
| DM |
16 |
Masaokis
|
| RM |
7 |
Gordon Ramsay
|
| AM |
18 |
Fridge Ketchup
|
| AM |
19 |
Sriracha |
|
68'
|
| LM |
20 |
Steak Thread
|
| SS |
9 |
Pink Himalayan Salt
|
| CF |
10 |
Nachos
|
| Substitutions:
|
| AM |
8 |
/ck/ Challenge |
|
68'
|
| Manager:
|
| TunaMerchant !!+U8b1gCk0rk
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
/co/lette (/co/)
|
|
|
Match Stats
|
|
| 11 (8)
|
Shots (On Target)
|
2 (0)
|
| 2 (0)
|
Fouls (Offside)
|
2 (1)
|
| 2
|
Free Kicks
|
2
|
| 0
|
Free Kicks scored
|
0
|
| 2
|
Corner Kicks
|
0
|
| 26
|
Interceptions
|
25
|
| 50%
|
Possession
|
50%
|
| 77%
|
Passes Completed
|
74%
|
| 14
|
Tackles Won
|
5
|
| 0
|
Saves
|
5
|
/sci/ v /pol/
| Stadium: Stadio Olimpico
|
25 August 2013, 20:30 UTC
|
Attendance: 1394
|
| Bill Nye 73'
|
|
|
|
|
| GK |
15 |
Secret Italian Supercat
|
| RB |
17 |
Saged Homework |
|
54'
|
| CB |
6 |
>biology >hard science
|
| LB |
20 |
Sun of Fire/Ice
|
| CM |
18 |
Richard Dawkins |
|
55'
|
| CM |
13 |
Putnam Math
|
| AM |
8 |
Carl Sagan
|
| AM |
2 |
Not Science
|
| AM |
9 |
Aquatic Hamster
|
| SS |
1 |
Bill Nye
|
| CF |
10 |
Nikola Tesla
|
| Substitutions:
|
| CF |
7 |
Koala Face |
|
55'
|
| Manager:
|
| Aitor Karanka !!CmJjMKBhYyd
|
|
|
|
|
| GK |
3 |
Dorner
|
| RB |
28 |
Ben Garrison
|
| CB |
23 |
Austrian Economics
|
| LB |
13 |
Statist
|
| DM |
20 |
Obongo
|
| RM |
5 |
Penn Jillette
|
| CM |
14 |
Stormfront
|
| LM |
27 |
Breivik
|
| RW |
10 |
Jews
|
| CF |
16 |
Doom Paul
|
| LW |
88 |
Hitler
|
| Substitutions:
|
| None
|
| Manager:
|
| Cozmo !!7bij/P7BcwR
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Bill Nye (/sci/)
|
|
|
Match Stats
|
|
| 6 (1)
|
Shots (On Target)
|
1 (0)
|
| 1 (0)
|
Fouls (Offside)
|
4 (1)
|
| 4
|
Free Kicks
|
1
|
| 0
|
Free Kicks scored
|
0
|
| 4
|
Corner Kicks
|
1
|
| 17
|
Interceptions
|
20
|
| 55%
|
Possession
|
45%
|
| 81%
|
Passes Completed
|
78%
|
| 10
|
Tackles Won
|
8
|
| 1
|
Saves
|
0
|
