The knockout stage of the 2014 4chan Winter Cup was played on the weekend of March 1 and 2, 2014. The top two teams from each group of the group stage qualified.
Qualified teams
Bracket
/cgl/
0
/f/
2
/h/
3
/mu/
1
/asp/
2
/v/
2
/trv/
2
/soc/
0
/sp/
0
/a/
1
/gif/
0
/toy/
1
/x/
1
/mlp/
3
/an/
0
/wg/
0
/f/
0
/h/
1
/asp/
3
/trv/
4
/a/
4
/toy/
3
/mlp/
3
/wg/
2
/h/
1
/trv/
2
/a/
2
/mlp/
1
/trv/
2
/a/
0
Third Place Match
/h/
0
/mlp/
2
Round of 16
/cgl/ v /f/
Da 'hood must be somewhere around the beach, because /f/ is here to stay. After an impressive final game in Group A, /cgl/ gets knocked out of the tournament thanks to great play and horrible spaghetti. Strong midfield play by /f/'s defense limited the ability of /cgl/'s heavily divided team to pass the ball up to their strikers. When the ball was passed up, terrible, terrible spaghetti by forwards like Yaya's Tatas, Tunamelt-chan, and Dramu saw easy goals missed, shots trolled, and easy saves by Segata Sanshiro. Da Hood and Nipaa would sneak two goals past an off-the-ball Mr. Yan thanks to their ability to break through the /cgl/ defense. The seagulls fly away defeated and hungry, while /f/ advances to the quarters.
| Stadium: Estadio da Luz
|
1 March 2014, 17:00 UTC
|
Attendance: 792
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|
 52' DA HOOD
82' Nipaa
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Kit: 
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 |
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Mr. Yan |
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 |
 |
50 Dicks |
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 |
Derpy-chan |
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 |
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Heroes of Cosplay |
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 |
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Get A Goddamn Wig |
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Jealous Fatty |
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Ita |
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 |
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Tunamelt-chan |
 53' |
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 |
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J Nig |
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 |
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Dramu |
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 |
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Yaya's Tatas |
53' |
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| Substitutions:
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Niggamoon |
 53' |
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Gutterbitch |
53' |
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| Manager:
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| Fang !!rFoWXKYr2uG
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Kit: 
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Segata Sanshiro |
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 |
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Sageman |
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Final Boss |
82' |
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Mormon Jesus |
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SHIII |
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Kikkoman |
68' |
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Terry Crews |
 53' |
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WRRRRRYY |
82' |
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 |
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Nipaa |
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DA HOOD |
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Lolicatgirls |
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| Substitutions:
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Zone |
68' |
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Loituma |
82' |
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|
IOSYS |
82' |
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| Manager:
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| Old Man Sou !!IYmoTiYa3ke
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Man of the Match:
Mormon Jesus (/f/)
|
| Match Stats
|
| Possession (%)
|
|
51
|
|
49
|
| Shots (on target)
|
|
6
|
|
5
|
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(2)
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|
(4)
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| Fouls (offside)
|
|
0
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4
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(0)
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|
(1)
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| Corner Kicks
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|
1
|
|
1
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| Free Kicks
|
|
4
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|
0
|
| Passes completed (%)
|
|
82
|
|
73
|
| Crosses
|
|
2
|
|
3
|
| Interceptions
|
|
12
|
|
8
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| Tackles
|
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8
|
|
5
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| Saves
|
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2
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3
|
|
/h/ v /mu/
No longer abusing heights, /mu/ found themselves flying away from the soft, expansive tits of /h/. Despite poor striker conditions, /h/ took the lead with a cheeky trollpost assist on Titty Monster's kick, slipping it in behind Varg Vikernes in the first quarter of the game. Despite /mu/'s attempts to quick counter and make the most of their offensive advantage, the /h/ defense would not allow their goalspace to be violated despite the efforts of Jeff Mangum and The Deak, as Garterbelt ran out to challenge and ruin their shots time after time. Despite being in Purple condition, controversially-loved forward Asuka managed to take two goals from Vargs Vikernes thanks to /h/'s strong midfield play, which allowed them to pass the ball up the field and intercept /mu/'s own passes. MC Ride would manage to keep /mu/'s honor intact by sliping one shot past Garterbelt, but Jpop finally got the better of /mu/, who go out on whispers of "shit without height abuse." Tickets for their next concert, in Summer 2014, sold out online within 3 minutes of being released.
| Stadium: The Mountaintops
|
1 March 2014, 17:40 UTC
|
Attendance: 994
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Kit: 
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Garterbelt |
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Mezzo Forte |
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Christmas Cake |
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Ino Yamanaka |
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Secret Plot |
76' |
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POMF-chan |
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Step Sister |
76' |
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Kneesocks |
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Reika Kitami |
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 |
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Asuka Langley Soryu |
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Titty Monster |
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| Substitutions:
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Delicious Brown |
76' |
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Fap Gauntlet |
76' |
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| Manager:
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| Bittenfeld !!YN/c61bWcAz
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Kit: 
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Varg Vikernes |
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Bomb Jovi |
76' |
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Anthony Fantano |
76' |
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Meal |
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8.4 Best Rereissued |
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Thom Yorke |
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Michael Gira |
76' |
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Jeff Mangum |
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Talentless Hack |
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MC Ride |
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The Deak |
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| Substitutions:
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Kevin Shields |
76' |
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Manface Grimes |
76' |
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Pierro Scaruffi |
76' |
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| Manager:
|
Feedback !!+8d1qFKeSP0
Headbuddy !!JuV2PJrVlWZ
FemmaFetale !!yvm0QrHZZJQ
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|
Man of the Match:
Asuka Langley Soryu (/h/)
|
| Match Stats
|
| Possession (%)
|
|
51
|
|
49
|
| Shots (on target)
|
|
6
|
|
5
|
|
(5)
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|
(3)
|
| Fouls (offside)
|
|
1
|
|
0
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|
(1)
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(0)
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| Corner Kicks
|
|
0
|
|
2
|
| Free Kicks
|
|
0
|
|
1
|
| Passes completed (%)
|
|
80
|
|
78
|
| Crosses
|
|
0
|
|
3
|
| Interceptions
|
|
12
|
|
11
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| Tackles
|
|
5
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|
4
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| Saves
|
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2
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|
2
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|
/asp/ v /v/
RAGE quits the field in a huff as /v/'s hard-won efforts were thrown into the trash by /v/ GK Trip, who allowed /asp/ to equalize an otherwise /v/-dominated game. Despite opening with an amiable shared anthem, the game ended with acrimony and RAGE as RAGE killed /v/'s chances of advancing with an absolutely retarded penalty kick that didn't even kiss the goal and sailed off into the void of the stands. The game seemed like it would be a tense scorefest as CENAWINSLOL and SANIC traded goals, threatening to take the game with a hat trick for their respective sides. Long-time /v/ favorites Gaben and Reggie Fils-Aime stepped out of the spotlight to allow SANIC to go fast and score twice and establish the most dangerous lead for /v/, but a long-shot ball by CENAWINSLOL tied up the game at the 86', and all attempts to end it through extra time would be denied, leading to the aforementioned shootout that would allow a very lucky /asp/ to advance further into the knockouts while Cup favorites /v/ retreated to their mancaves to play [insert shitty vidya gaem here] in sulky silence. At least, until Dark Souls 2 comes out.
| Stadium: Konami Stadium
|
1 March 2014, 18:20 UTC
|
Attendance: 1154
|
| CENAWINSLOL 33', 86'
|
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38', 66' SANIC
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Penalties
|
|
CENAWINSLOL 
American Dragon
Bork Lazer
Bruce Lee
Rodney Mullen
Best Martial Art
Ethan Carter III
|
7 — 6
|
Gabe Newell
Reggie Fils-Aime
Protoman
SANIC
Mr. Bones
Captain Falcon
 Rage
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Kit: 
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Best Martial Art |
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FAHN DAHN GOOO |
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Best In The World |
90' |
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Diva Pics |
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Not /asp/ |
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Bones Jones |
66' |
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Mirko Cro Cop |
66' |
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Rodney Mullen |
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American Dragon |
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Bork Lazer |
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CENAWINSLOL |
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| Substitutions:
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Bruce Lee |
66' |
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Ethan Carter III |
69' |
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Beeg |
90' |
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| Manager:
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Spotmonkey !!zZUi/j3mrUr
Groudon !!9aKmRIjeVg1
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Kit: 
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Trip |
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No Fun Allowed |
66' |
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Captain Falcon |
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Dewrito Pope |
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Rage |
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 |
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Console Peasant |
66' |
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Protoman |
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PC Master Race |
66' |
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Sanic |
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Reggie Fils-Aime |
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Gabe Newell |
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| Substitutions:
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Adam Jensen |
66' |
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Mr. Bones |
66' |
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Donte |
66' |
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| Manager:
|
| Exec !!s4zagtDZGcA
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
CENAWINSLOL (/asp/)
|
| Match Stats
|
| Possession (%)
|
|
45
|
|
55
|
| Shots (on target)
|
|
8
|
|
9
|
|
(3)
|
|
(6)
|
| Fouls (offside)
|
|
2
|
|
1
|
|
(2)
|
|
(1)
|
| Corner Kicks
|
|
1
|
|
1
|
| Free Kicks
|
|
1
|
|
2
|
| Passes completed (%)
|
|
77
|
|
79
|
| Crosses
|
|
3
|
|
2
|
| Interceptions
|
|
20
|
|
7
|
| Tackles
|
|
4
|
|
8
|
| Saves
|
|
2
|
|
0
|
|
/trv/ v /soc/
The dildo formations of /trv/ and /soc/ faced off and saw the /soc/ietal deviants kicked off the beach by a disgusting volley by Squat Toilet and a cloaca breaking Sex Tourist. Superior possession play by /trv/ allowed them to dominate the midfield and get the ball to their lucky, but disgusting, 77 DMF, as well as deny /soc/'s weak attempts to counter. Darien Gap would keep the game going throughout the second half, catching and returning every shot by /soc/ and preventing their fresh subs from ever coming on. /soc/ bows out here and returns to their own country while /trv/ continues their march to the Round of 8, where they face tournament dark horse /asp/.
| Stadium: Estadio Urbano Caldeira
|
1 March 2014, 19:00 UTC
|
Attendance: 1250
|
Squat Toilet 3'
Sex Tourist 25'
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Kit: 
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Darien Gap |
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VICEguy |
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James Vagabond |
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Billy Bogan |
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Dougie Canuckflag |
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Squat Toilet |
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Karl Pilkington |
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Luke Skyscanner |
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Superpornowat Farangbang |
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Couchsurfer Rapist |
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Sex Tourist |
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| Manager:
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| MauledByTheTigers !!jawkONBJmdi
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Kit: 
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Surf_Mode |
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Swell Guy |
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Frosting |
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Milkshakes with 3 dudes |
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Use The Fucking Catalog |
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Ideal Mate |
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Roll Thread |
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Vocaroo |
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Crush |
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Haunter |
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Feet |
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| Manager:
|
| Sexcopter !!DmLjci16Djv
|
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|
Man of the Match:
Sex Tourist (/trv/)
|
| Match Stats
|
| Possession (%)
|
|
46
|
|
54
|
| Shots (on target)
|
|
8
|
|
8
|
|
(5)
|
|
(7)
|
| Fouls (offside)
|
|
0
|
|
3
|
|
(0)
|
|
(2)
|
| Corner Kicks
|
|
2
|
|
1
|
| Free Kicks
|
|
3
|
|
0
|
| Passes completed (%)
|
|
78
|
|
81
|
| Crosses
|
|
2
|
|
1
|
| Interceptions
|
|
13
|
|
5
|
| Tackles
|
|
2
|
|
5
|
| Saves
|
|
5
|
|
3
|
|
/sp/ v /a/
The clash of the Elite titans, the original derby, the legendary battle returns again! Would Bert spaghetti all over /a/'s Laserdiscs, or would MESSI find himself choking on Accelerator's Vectors again? These questions and more would lead us into the game, perhaps and indication of just how dominating /a/ was expected to be in this game. Accelerator would prove he belonged in the goal, blocking 2 great and 3 shit shots by /sp/ in the first half in a tense, high-paced game that saw /sp/ dominate play offensively and defensively in the first half. But the momentum shifted in the second half to the referees, as they trolled us on offside plays by Cowboy Bebop and USAUSAUSA, letting the fans cheer themselves hoarse before flagging them down. Accelerator, in good condition and controlling the vectors, keeps /sp/ from scoring while /a/ began to show off their own offensive talents. Finally, /a/'s good-bad-shit-amazing forward Bert is a Titan finally drops all the spaghetti from his pockets amid threads being deleted and styles past two /sp/ defenders to make the only goal that matters, putting /a/ above their long-time rivals, a lead that Accelerator keeps alive and that Bert tries to build on despite having no support from his team. With his single goal, Bert instantly became the most-beloved player for /a/'s bandwagoners as /sp/ realizes the second star will not be theirs, it will be DENIED to them by their greatest rivals. /a/ advances with their exciting, desperate team along the path to a second star.
| Stadium: Semen Pipeline Stadium
|
1 March 2014, 19:40 UTC
|
Attendance: 1866
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73' Bert is a Titan
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Kit: 
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>de gay |
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18-1 |
72' |
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MVP |
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>US 12s |
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The Archiver |
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>schalke |
84' |
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BTFO |
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>MOYES |
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George Costanza |
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USA USA USA |
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MESSI |
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|
| Substitutions:
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DRTWWWTTATY |
72' |
|
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|
Potlel |
84' |
|
|
| Manager:
|
| EdgarBub !!hImM4iWsFS/
|
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Kit: 
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Accelerator |
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Boku no Pico |
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Tada Banri |
72' |
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Kenshiro |
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King of Gets |
72' |
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Renge-chon |
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Inferno Cop |
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Tomoko |
62' |
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Mugi |
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Cowboy Bebop |
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|
Bert Is A Titan |
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|
|
| Substitutions:
|
|
|
Yamakan |
62' |
|
|
|
|
Guillotine Gorilla |
72' |
|
|
|
|
Meguca |
72' |
|
|
| Manager:
|
| FiroBrochainezo !!uRlVQO2Akkq
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Bert Is A Titan (/a/)
|
| Match Stats
|
| Possession (%)
|
|
42
|
|
58
|
| Shots (on target)
|
|
6
|
|
8
|
|
(5)
|
|
(6)
|
| Fouls (offside)
|
|
3
|
|
1
|
|
(2)
|
|
(1)
|
| Corner Kicks
|
|
2
|
|
1
|
| Free Kicks
|
|
1
|
|
3
|
| Passes completed (%)
|
|
76
|
|
86
|
| Crosses
|
|
5
|
|
1
|
| Interceptions
|
|
7
|
|
6
|
| Tackles
|
|
1
|
|
1
|
| Saves
|
|
2
|
|
4
|
|
/gif/ v /toy/
Shit condition strikers have been doing great so far, so the poor condition on /toy/'s Woody and Madoka Titus was not as fearful as it might seem. Still, while /gif/'s thick defense couldn't stop /toy/ from charging down the pitch, they did run enough interference that no good on-target shots could be made. /toy/'s defense, on the other hand, absolutely shut down /gif/ with some great positioning, stealing away the ball and sending it up like a rocket to escape the crowded midfield. Repeated chokes by Optimus Prime would ruin /toy/'s offensive chances as his weak kicks were easily intercepted by /gif/ defenders dogging /toy/'s lonely strikers. This match between two defenseball teams would end 0-0 in regulation time. Unwilling to take the chance of a RAGE-tier choke, Madoka Titus kicked in a desperate point-blank goal after a foul on the goal box, letting the toys out of the toybox and keeping their dream alive after the horrible scandal of Tinkergate last Summer. /gif/, after a worthwhile run, has secured their place in Summer 2014 and goes out with colors flying.
| Stadium: Estadio da Luz
|
1 March 2014, 20:20 UTC
|
Attendance: 1462
|
|
|
|
96' Madoka Titus
|
|
|
Kit: 
|
|
|
Girls On Top |
|
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|
Flashing |
|
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|
Sissy Hypno |
|
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|
Female POV |
105' |
|
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|
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Lesbians |
71' |
|
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|
Nice Big Dicks |
|
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|
|
Epic Cumshot Guy |
71' |
|
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|
|
isthisreal? |
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|
Amateures |
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Sauce |
|
|
|
|
|
Source |
|
|
|
| Substitutions:
|
|
|
New OC |
71' |
|
|
|
|
Squirting |
71' |
|
|
|
|
JAV |
105' |
|
|
| Manager:
|
| Belugah !!oqT6E74mNC0
|
|
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|
|
Kit: 
|
|
|
Ham Hands |
|
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|
Shelfwarmer |
|
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|
|
Saber Miku |
40' |
71' |
|
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|
Screwholes |
|
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Cactus Owl |
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My Nugga |
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Matty |
|
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|
|
You Knoe Who |
|
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|
Optimus Prime |
|
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|
Madoka Titus |
|
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|
Woody |
|
|
|
| Substitutions:
|
|
|
Detolf Shelves |
71' |
|
|
| Manager:
|
| DawgamusPrime !!nAmLxhuSwBT
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Madoka Titus (/toy/)
|
| Match Stats
|
| Possession (%)
|
|
50
|
|
50
|
| Shots (on target)
|
|
5
|
|
14
|
|
(2)
|
|
(11)
|
| Fouls (offside)
|
|
4
|
|
3
|
|
(1)
|
|
(1)
|
| Corner Kicks
|
|
1
|
|
1
|
| Free Kicks
|
|
3
|
|
4
|
| Passes completed (%)
|
|
77
|
|
83
|
| Crosses
|
|
2
|
|
3
|
| Interceptions
|
|
10
|
|
13
|
| Tackles
|
|
3
|
|
6
|
| Saves
|
|
6
|
|
2
|
|
/x/ v /mlp/
/mlp/ defeated /x/ once again in this rematch from Spring 2013in a shotfest of a game. Despite taking place on the second-spookiest pitch in PES, Alicorn Twilight would find the friendship strong as she struck a goal past a fumbling Urbex. But the spooky would not be denied, and with the home field advantage, Pyramid Head would walk right through a spaghetti-ing /mlp/ defense to tie the game. Balls were left behind all over the field as the game went on, forcing /mlp/ to make a long pass that would get around /x/'s defense and GK, allowing >Rape to slot it in behind Urbex as the first half came to a close. Seeking to make up for his failure, Urbex tried to challenge a charging Alicorn Twilight as she pushed through the condemned ruin of /x/'s defense and allowed her to put it past him, while two trollposts help Jackie Chan Tulpa have no trabble and prevent Pyramid Head from equalizing against the most loved/hated team in the entire Cup. A wonderful, Flash-tier attempt by Pyramid Head sees one blind, desperate, backwards kick rolled to him by Jackie Chan Tulpa hit the trollbar, bounce along the goal line, and gets rejected. /x/ is giggled out of the Cup by a triumphant /mlp/, who move on happy and giddy to the round of 8, while /x/ goes on a fact-finding expedition to the Mountains of Madness, in the hopes of finding more effective summoning rituals for the Summer Solstice.
| Stadium: The Void
|
1 March 2014, 21:00 UTC
|
Attendance: 1622
|
|
|
Kit: 
|
|
|
Urbex |
|
|
|
|
|
UFO Hunter |
79' |
|
|
|
|
Slenderman |
|
|
|
|
|
Chaos Magick |
|
|
|
|
|
Creepypasta |
|
|
|
|
|
Holder Series |
79' |
|
|
|
|
Cthulhu |
|
|
|
|
|
Deja Vu |
79' |
|
|
|
|
The Grey |
|
|
|
|
|
X-tan |
|
|
|
|
|
Pyramid Head |
|
|
|
| Substitutions:
|
|
|
Ethereal Ghost |
79' |
|
|
|
|
SCP Series |
79' |
|
|
|
|
Astral Meetup |
79' |
|
|
| Manager:
|
| AlphaBrennenburg !!r8xi+iDeakC
|
|
|
|
|
Kit: 
|
|
|
Jackie Chan Tulpa |
|
|
|
|
|
Twilicane |
|
|
|
|
|
Thanks M.A. Larson |
|
|
|
|
|
>no hooves |
79' |
|
|
|
|
Hate And Penetrate |
|
|
|
|
|
DYEWTS |
|
|
|
|
|
Tracy |
|
|
|
|
|
Tara Strong |
79' |
|
|
|
|
Alicorn Twilight |
|
|
|
|
|
Best Pony |
|
|
|
|
|
>rape |
|
|
|
| Substitutions:
|
|
|
Faust |
79' |
|
|
|
|
Autism In Equestria |
79' |
|
|
| Manager:
|
Testanon !!ZMJQq4w/UgP
ShadowTester !!RHFYTqTpXTT
BG Pony !!x4w9HUuYDSq
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
>rape (/mlp/)
|
| Match Stats
|
| Possession (%)
|
|
49
|
|
51
|
| Shots (on target)
|
|
7
|
|
5
|
|
(5)
|
|
(3)
|
| Fouls (offside)
|
|
0
|
|
1
|
|
(0)
|
|
(1)
|
| Corner Kicks
|
|
0
|
|
0
|
| Free Kicks
|
|
1
|
|
0
|
| Passes completed (%)
|
|
82
|
|
85
|
| Crosses
|
|
1
|
|
1
|
| Interceptions
|
|
4
|
|
3
|
| Tackles
|
|
5
|
|
2
|
| Saves
|
|
1
|
|
2
|
|
/an/ v /wg/
/x/'s SPOOKY finally kicks in as the game completely crashes after the deployment of the Hype Machine, forcing a reset of all conditions and possibly cursing the game, as spaghetti and trollposts saw the game played as a scoreless animalfight between the dogs and cats of /wg/ and the menagerie of /an/. /wg/ found their offense incapable of finishing off the weakened /an/ defense, while /an/ would struggle up through a crowded, mobbing midfield and be met with trollpost after trollpost. Nothing fucking happens as the game proceeds through extra time and into penalties, making for an incredibly boring snorefest, as the spaghetti continued into the penalties. Honey Badger, giving no fucks, imitates RAGE and missed the fuck out of the first penalty kick and putting /an/ at an immediate disadvantage. What Is This would fuck it up with a Flash-tier choke, putting /an/ two down and seemingly guaranteeing their fall, but Headphone Girl would throw away her shot by kicking it off a trollpost and /wg/ GK Bliss would copy What Is This in blowing out his penalty kick in an absolute failure of a penalty shootout. Finally, in the most surprising and undeserved advancement of the day, Bliss would make a save on a crucial penalty kick. In a game where nobody won and everybody suffered, /wg/ found victory and advanced against a much-stronger team that pissed away the game. /an/ would leave the pitch after marking their territory, to return after the spring breeding period in Summer.
| Stadium: Estadio da Luz
|
1 March 2014, 21:40 UTC
|
Attendance: 1281
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Penalties
|
|
Honeybadger
Spacebat
Canadian Goose
What is This?
Sun Bear
Walrus Overlord
Ferret Legging
|
4–5
|
Cunt Destroyer
Spacecat
Descartes
Headphone Girl
Bliss
Desktop Thread
Rainmeter
|
|
|
|
Kit: 
|
|
|
Take It To The Vet |
|
|
|
|
|
Cat Person |
|
|
|
|
|
Brown Recluse |
86' |
|
|
|
|
Evil Pitbull |
|
|
|
|
|
Leopard Gecko |
86' |
|
|
|
|
Walrus Overlord |
|
|
|
|
|
Canadian Goose |
|
|
|
|
|
Sexy Shrimp |
86' |
|
|
|
|
What Is This? |
|
|
|
|
|
Spacebat |
|
|
|
|
|
Honeybadger |
|
|
|
| Substitutions:
|
|
|
Superior Porcupine |
86' |
|
|
|
|
Sun Bear |
86' |
|
|
|
|
Ferret Legging |
86' |
|
|
| Manager:
|
| Rehmix
|
|
|
|
|
Kit: 
|
|
|
Bliss |
|
|
|
|
|
Communism |
77' |
|
|
|
|
Dark Side of the Moon |
|
|
|
|
|
Once There Was A Tree |
|
|
|
|
|
Rainmeter |
|
|
|
|
|
Headphone Girl |
|
|
|
|
|
Boss Nigger |
77' |
|
|
|
|
Goldblum |
77' |
|
|
|
|
Descartes |
|
|
|
|
|
Cunt Destroyer |
|
|
|
|
|
Spacecat |
|
|
|
| Substitutions:
|
|
|
GRAHHHNBBBLAHAH |
77' |
|
|
|
|
Desktop Thread |
77' |
|
|
|
|
Nudes |
77' |
|
|
| Manager:
|
| StoneyDucky !!DYDlR77coGn
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Nudes (/wg/)
|
| Match Stats
|
| Possession (%)
|
|
49
|
|
51
|
| Shots (on target)
|
|
6
|
|
3
|
|
(3)
|
|
(2)
|
| Fouls (offside)
|
|
2
|
|
0
|
|
(0)
|
|
(0)
|
| Corner Kicks
|
|
1
|
|
0
|
| Free Kicks
|
|
0
|
|
2
|
| Passes completed (%)
|
|
85
|
|
80
|
| Crosses
|
|
5
|
|
5
|
| Interceptions
|
|
7
|
|
13
|
| Tackles
|
|
4
|
|
4
|
| Saves
|
|
1
|
|
2
|
|
Note: The game crashed prior to showing the teams in the tunnel. The kits that were to be used in the original match did not change.
Quarter Finals
/f/ v /h/
The first game of the knockouts exemplified the rigging that is ever present in the 4chan Cup, with power outages and inaccurate presets scrambling with the game. This match sees old comrades Zone-tan, Secret Plot, Reika Kitami and other hentai perversions from 2005 fighting it out for the chance to advance. In a great prediction of /h/'s dominance of the game, Titty monster would take a 2' shot that was easily saved by Segata Sanshiro, but more shots and plays would follow, each one either denied by Segata or spoiled by a reactive /f/ defense. Still, the game was dominated by /h/ in both halves, finally leading to a great goal by Titty monster that just slips past Segata Sanshiro. Faceless Fat Guy would find himelf challenged a little more in the second half, but /h/ decided that the era of Kasumi, Zone-tan, and other old flash favorites was over as they parked the bus on /f/ with their single-goal lead. /f/, having advanced farther than they ever have before in a major cup, goes off to find da hood, while /h/ moves on with some new hentai games to schlick to.
| Stadium: Estadio da Luz
|
2 March 2014, 17:00 UTC
|
Attendance: 1015
|
|
|
|
51' Titty Monster
|
|
|
| Kit:
|
|
|
Segata Sanshiro |
|
|
|
|
|
Monsquaz |
|
|
|
|
|
Mormon Jesus |
|
|
|
|
|
Gardevoir Paizuri |
|
|
|
|
|
Manticore |
|
|
|
|
|
Terry Crews |
|
|
|
|
|
Kikkoman |
68' |
|
|
|
|
Zone |
86' |
|
|
|
|
Nipaa |
|
|
|
|
|
Lolicatgirls |
|
|
|
|
|
DA HOOD |
|
|
|
| Substitutions:
|
|
|
F.O.E. |
68' |
|
|
|
|
WRRRRRYY |
86' |
|
|
| Manager:
|
| Old Man Sou !!IYmoTiYa3ke
|
|
|
|
|
| Kit:
|
|
|
Faceless Fat Guy |
|
|
|
|
|
Mezzo Forte |
86' |
|
|
|
|
Slut Girl |
68' |
|
|
|
|
Ino Yamanaka |
|
|
|
|
|
Secret Plot |
|
|
|
|
|
POMF-chan |
86' |
|
|
|
|
Delicious Brown |
|
|
|
|
|
Kneesocks |
|
|
|
|
|
Reika Kitami |
|
|
|
|
|
Titty Monster |
|
|
|
|
|
Asuka Langley Soryu |
|
|
|
| Substitutions:
|
|
|
Christmas Cake |
68' |
|
|
|
|
La Blue Girl |
86' |
|
|
|
|
Angel Blade |
86' |
|
|
| Manager:
|
| Bittenfeld !!YN/c61bWcAz
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Titty Monster (/h/)
|
| Match Stats
|
| Possession (%)
|
|
46
|
|
54
|
| Shots (on target)
|
|
5
|
|
8
|
|
(3)
|
|
(6)
|
| Fouls (offside)
|
|
1
|
|
3
|
|
(0)
|
|
(2)
|
| Corner Kicks
|
|
1
|
|
1
|
| Free Kicks
|
|
3
|
|
1
|
| Passes completed (%)
|
|
73
|
|
80
|
| Crosses
|
|
2
|
|
4
|
| Interceptions
|
|
7
|
|
9
|
| Tackles
|
|
5
|
|
4
|
| Saves
|
|
6
|
|
3
|
|
/asp/ v /trv/
/trv/-/asp/ was always destined to be a tight match. What was not expected was the accuracy of the predictions made by the usually blind 4chan Cup commentators. CENAWINSLOL would put /asp/ ahead with a 2' goal, immediately answered by Couchsurfer Rapist at 4' and hyping it the fuck up. A back-and forth game that saw the ball go up and down the pitch would see /trv/ take the lead at the end of the first half with Sex Tourist pulling them ahead, and Karl Pilkington putting /trv/ even further ahead with a third goal as the second half began. As /asp/ struggled to get back some possession and a chance to score, /trv/'s midfield shut them down and sent another goal home with Sex Tourist, putting /asp/ at a 4-1 disadvantage as the last 20 minutes of the game ticked away. Despite Dr. BorisG declaring it was the end of the dream, /asp/ would show their tenacity by clawing back two goals and almost tying the game as it wound down. Still, despite a last minute comeback goal by American Dragon, /asp/ could not overcome the impressive goal lead of /trv/, and their around the world MMA promotion tour ends, to return this Summer.
| Stadium: Estadio Urbano Caldeira
|
2 March 2014, 17:40 UTC
|
Attendance: 1252
|
|
|
| Kit:
|
|
|
Black Ref |
|
|
|
|
|
>longboarding |
75' |
|
|
|
|
Krispen Wah |
|
|
|
|
|
Beeg |
|
|
|
|
|
Lord Hema |
|
|
|
|
|
Bruce Lee |
75' |
|
|
|
|
Ethan Carter III |
|
|
|
|
|
Rodney Mullen |
|
|
|
|
|
American Dragon |
|
|
|
|
|
Bork Lazer |
|
|
|
|
|
CENAWINSLOL |
|
|
|
| Substitutions:
|
|
|
Fuck This Company |
75' |
|
|
|
|
FAHN DAHN GOOO |
75' |
|
|
| Manager:
|
Spotmonkey !!zZUi/j3mrUr
Groudon !!9aKmRIjeVg1
|
|
|
|
|
Kit: 
|
|
|
Noobius Expedia |
|
|
|
|
|
Sickof Murrica |
|
|
|
|
|
James Vagabond |
|
|
|
|
|
It'sa Slowboard |
|
|
|
|
|
Dougie Canuckflag |
70' |
|
|
|
|
Squat Toilet |
|
|
|
|
|
Karl Pilkington |
|
|
|
|
|
Luke Skyscanner |
70' |
|
|
|
|
Superpornowat |
|
|
|
|
|
Couchsurfer Rapist |
|
|
|
|
|
Sex Tourist |
|
|
|
| Substitutions:
|
|
|
Desperate Weeaboo |
70' |
|
|
|
|
Boris Transsiberyan |
70' |
|
|
| Manager:
|
| MauledByTheTigers !!jawkONBJmdi
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Sex Tourist (/trv/)
|
| Match Stats
|
| Possession (%)
|
|
46
|
|
54
|
| Shots (on target)
|
|
9
|
|
9
|
|
(9)
|
|
(6)
|
| Fouls (offside)
|
|
3
|
|
1
|
|
(0)
|
|
(0)
|
| Corner Kicks
|
|
1
|
|
1
|
| Free Kicks
|
|
1
|
|
3
|
| Passes completed (%)
|
|
80
|
|
81
|
| Crosses
|
|
2
|
|
1
|
| Interceptions
|
|
9
|
|
8
|
| Tackles
|
|
4
|
|
5
|
| Saves
|
|
1
|
|
5
|
|
/a/ v /toy/
A first-minute change by /a/ kills their strategy and allows Woody to score in a game filled with well-conditioned strikers and poorly-conditioned goalies. As the /a/ defense runs in fear of Madoka Titus and Woody, /toy/ put in two goals before the end of the first half, while the /a/ offense flubs their midfield play into /toy/ defenders. A switch back to their original tactics shifted the momentum back to /a/ as their defense closed back around the well-played offense of /toy/, and Madoka-clone Meguca manages to pass a ball up to Bebop, who finally makes the game the scorefest it should've been. Bert, inspired by Bebop's example, knocked his way through the wall of /toy/ defenders and took a longshot through the hole between Screwhole's hands to tie the game just before the end of the half. Accelebert proves a deadly combination as Bert and Bebop drill through the /toy/ defense twice while Accelerator blocks and beats all of /toy/'s spring-powered shots bar one. The /toy/s go back in the toybox until this Summer, while /a/ moves ever closer to the fabled second star.
| Stadium: Estadio da Luz
|
2 March 2014, 18:20 UTC
|
Attendance: 1716
|
|
|
| Kit:
|
|
|
Accelerator |
|
|
|
|
|
Anno |
63' |
|
|
|
|
>rotoscoping |
|
|
|
|
|
Jojo |
|
|
|
|
|
Meguca |
|
|
|
|
|
Teh Rei |
74' |
|
|
|
|
Inferno Cop |
|
|
|
|
|
Ryuuko Matoi |
|
|
|
|
|
Mugi |
|
|
|
|
|
Cowboy Bebop |
|
|
|
|
|
Bert Is A Titan |
|
|
|
| Substitutions:
|
|
|
Boku no Pico |
63' |
|
|
|
|
Renge-chon |
74' |
|
|
| Manager:
|
| FiroBrochainezo !!uRlVQO2Akkq
|
|
|
|
|
| Kit:
|
|
|
Thew Adams |
|
|
|
|
|
The World |
|
|
|
|
|
Orange Transparent Chainsaw |
|
|
|
|
|
Saber Miku |
|
|
|
|
|
Cactus Owl |
|
|
|
|
|
My Nugga |
|
|
|
|
|
Matty |
|
|
|
|
|
You Knoe Who |
74' |
|
|
|
|
Optimus Prime |
|
|
|
|
|
Madoka Titus |
|
|
|
|
|
Woody |
|
|
|
| Substitutions:
|
|
|
Space Godzilla |
74' |
|
|
| Manager:
|
| DawgamusPrime !!nAmLxhuSwBT
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Cowboy Bebop (/a/)
|
| Match Stats
|
| Possession (%)
|
|
48
|
|
52
|
| Shots (on target)
|
|
5
|
|
10
|
|
(4)
|
|
(8)
|
| Fouls (offside)
|
|
3
|
|
1
|
|
(1)
|
|
(1)
|
| Corner Kicks
|
|
1
|
|
3
|
| Free Kicks
|
|
1
|
|
3
|
| Passes completed (%)
|
|
80
|
|
87
|
| Crosses
|
|
3
|
|
3
|
| Interceptions
|
|
8
|
|
8
|
| Tackles
|
|
2
|
|
0
|
| Saves
|
|
5
|
|
0
|
|
/mlp/ v /wg/
In a stark reversal of normal practices, /wg/ found itself playing the sub and getting the horsecock as /mlp/ outshot /wg/ 10-3 and knocked these champions out of the cup. The normal-sized dicks of /wg/ could not satisfy the ponies of /mlp/, as the hard-fought efforts of Cunt Destroyer and Descartes are brushed aside by /mlp/'s magical princess Alicorn Twilight and guiding light >Rape. Cunt Destroyer opened the way through the defense for a 12' goal, but the first half was dominated by an /mlp/ that besieged /wg/'s goal with shot after shot and dominated possession. Unhappy and still intact, Alicorn Twilight would finally put one in as the second half got underway, tying up the game and giving >Rape the momentum he needed to put another one past Bliss. Though Descartes would give the ponies the D to equalize the game just minutes later, /mlp/'s princess and saviour Alicorn Twilight would put another one into the monitor of /wg/ at the 87' to finish off /wg/. /wg/ will have to find new wallpapers for the Summer Cup as /mlp/ stokes the fires of the >Rape train in hopes of winning the Cup.
| Stadium: Pony Stadium
|
2 March 2014, 19:00 UTC
|
Attendance: 1782
|
|
|
Kit: 
|
|
|
Jackie Chan Tulpa |
|
|
|
|
|
Twilicane |
66' |
|
|
|
|
Autism In Equestria |
|
|
|
|
|
Fuck Your Marker |
|
|
|
|
|
Crotchtits |
|
|
|
|
|
DYEWTS |
|
|
|
|
|
I Want To Cum In Rainbow Dash |
|
|
|
|
|
Tracy |
|
|
|
|
|
Alicorn Twilight |
|
|
|
|
|
Best Pony |
|
|
|
|
|
>rape |
|
|
|
| Substitutions:
|
|
|
Panda Ring |
66' |
|
|
| Manager:
|
Testanon !!ZMJQq4w/UgP
ShadowTester !!RHFYTqTpXTT
BG Pony !!x4w9HUuYDSq
|
|
|
|
|
| Kit:
|
|
|
Bliss |
|
|
|
|
|
GRAHHHNBBBLAHAH |
|
|
|
|
|
Communism |
66' |
|
|
|
|
Keep Calm |
|
|
|
|
|
Rainmeter |
|
|
|
|
|
Boss Nigger |
|
|
|
|
|
Goldblum |
20' |
66' |
|
|
|
Headphone Girl |
|
|
|
|
|
Descartes |
|
|
|
|
|
Spacecat |
|
|
|
|
|
Cunt Destroyer |
|
|
|
| Substitutions:
|
|
|
Original Content |
66' |
|
|
|
|
Ronald Raygun |
66' |
|
|
| Manager:
|
| StoneyDucky !!DYDlR77coGn
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
I Want To Cum In Rainbow Dash (/mlp/)
|
| Match Stats
|
| Possession (%)
|
|
52
|
|
48
|
| Shots (on target)
|
|
10
|
|
3
|
|
(9)
|
|
(2)
|
| Fouls (offside)
|
|
2
|
|
1
|
|
(1)
|
|
(0)
|
| Corner Kicks
|
|
4
|
|
0
|
| Free Kicks
|
|
1
|
|
2
|
| Passes completed (%)
|
|
80
|
|
76
|
| Crosses
|
|
5
|
|
0
|
| Interceptions
|
|
12
|
|
10
|
| Tackles
|
|
3
|
|
1
|
| Saves
|
|
0
|
|
6
|
|
Semi Finals
/h/ v /trv/
Superpornowat took an early lead in a game that saw /h/ spill spaghetti over their school uniforms and make no goals. Despite some great offensive pushes by /h/, their forwards choked on easy shots and against a strong /trv/ defense that would force the ball back down the field and force /h/ to play up again. This lack of finishing would prove fatal against /trv/, who have been scoring low but defending well throughout this cup. Desperate Weeaboo, showing his true colors as a foreign neckbeard, would put the second goal into /h/ before the end of the first half. Not disheartened, /h/ remained on the offensive through the second half, an effort that paid off only when an errant James Vagabond prevented a trollpost save on a shot by Titty Monster, leading to the one and only own goal of the 2014 Winter Cup. Otherwise, the strong midfield defense of /trv/ would deny /h/'s attempts to control the ball and ruin an aggressive and hungry offense. /trv/ moved up to the nail-biting finals, where they would face the luck- and heart-based play of /a/, while /h/ would enter the third-place game with schnapps and liqour in both hands.
| Stadium: Wembley Stadium
|
2 March 2014, 19:40 UTC
|
Attendance: 1827
|
|
|
Kit: 
|
|
|
Sad Panda |
|
|
|
|
|
Mezzo Forte |
|
|
|
|
|
Christmas Cake |
70' |
|
|
|
|
Slut Girl |
|
|
|
|
|
Fap Gauntlet |
|
|
|
|
|
Delicious Brown |
|
|
|
|
|
Kneesocks |
|
|
|
|
|
Incest |
45' |
|
|
|
|
Reika Kitami |
|
|
|
|
|
Titty Monster |
|
|
|
|
|
Asuka Langley Soryu |
|
|
|
| Substitutions:
|
|
|
Delicious Flat Chest |
45' |
86' |
|
|
|
Umemaro 3D |
70' |
|
|
|
|
POMF-chan |
86' |
|
|
| Manager:
|
| Bittenfeld !!YN/c61bWcAz
|
|
|
|
|
| Kit:
|
|
|
Noobius Expedia |
|
|
|
|
|
Sickof Murrica |
|
|
|
|
|
Nigel Roppongi |
|
|
|
|
|
James Vagabond |
86' |
|
|
|
|
Dougie Canuckflag |
|
|
|
|
|
Neckbeard Teefle |
86' |
|
|
|
|
Karl Pilkington |
|
|
|
|
|
Desperate Weeaboo |
70' |
|
|
|
|
Superpornowat Farangbang |
|
|
|
|
|
Couchsurfer Rapist |
|
|
|
|
|
Sex Tourist |
|
|
|
| Substitutions:
|
|
|
Sven Scandiboo |
70' |
|
|
|
|
Amsterdam Stonerbro |
86' |
|
|
|
|
Billy Bogan |
86' |
|
|
| Manager:
|
| MauledByTheTigers !!jawkONBJmdi
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Sex Tourist (/trv/)
|
| Match Stats
|
| Possession (%)
|
|
54
|
|
46
|
| Shots (on target)
|
|
7
|
|
7
|
|
(2)
|
|
(5)
|
| Fouls (offside)
|
|
0
|
|
3
|
|
(0)
|
|
(2)
|
| Corner Kicks
|
|
1
|
|
3
|
| Free Kicks
|
|
3
|
|
0
|
| Passes completed (%)
|
|
84
|
|
75
|
| Crosses
|
|
3
|
|
4
|
| Interceptions
|
|
8
|
|
6
|
| Tackles
|
|
7
|
|
5
|
| Saves
|
|
5
|
|
2
|
|
/a/ v /mlp/
/mlp/ might've claimed quints, but the King of Gets smiled on /a/ with double sextuples amid a flurry of bans and deletions by the loli-hating Nazi-mod of /a/. A massive condition advantage for /a/ is spaghettied away, as per usual, and the game ends up dying on the defense and midfield play of both teams. With the spaghetti all spilled though, Bert reveals that, in fact, HE is the Colossal Titan and styles two defenders to finally put /a/ on the board at 85'! But the game wasn't over; the magic of quints holds out long enough for >Rape to force his way through 3 /a/ defenders and get the ball to Horsefuckers to tie the game at 92'! The double sextuples (duodecuple?) finally come into play as the extra time runs out when King of Gets takes the ball despite his exhaustion, throws it to Mugi, who gets it to Bert who SAVES /a/! The too-friendly ponies go to the bronze match while /a/ advances on heart, spirit, and GETS to the finals of Winter, the second star just out of reach.
| Stadium: Estadio da Luz
|
2 March 2014, 20:20 UTC
|
Attendance: 2431
|
| Bert is a Titan 88', 114'
|
|
90+' Horsefucker
|
|
|
| Kit:
|
|
|
Accelerator |
|
|
|
|
|
Anno |
88' |
|
|
|
|
Tada Banri |
|
|
|
|
|
>rotoscoping |
|
|
|
|
|
Meguca |
88' |
|
|
|
|
Teh Rei |
67' |
|
|
|
|
Inferno Cop |
|
|
|
|
|
Tomoko |
|
|
|
|
|
Mugi |
|
|
|
|
|
Cowboy Bebop |
|
|
|
|
|
Bert Is A Titan |
|
|
|
| Substitutions:
|
|
|
Renge-chon |
67' |
|
|
|
|
Boku no Pico |
88' |
|
|
|
|
King of Gets |
88' |
|
|
| Manager:
|
| FiroBrochainezo !!uRlVQO2Akkq
|
|
|
|
|
| Kit:
|
|
|
Derpy Hooves |
|
|
|
|
|
Panda Ring |
|
|
|
|
|
Autism in Equestria |
88' |
|
|
|
|
Fuck Your Marker |
109' |
|
|
|
|
Crotchtits |
|
|
|
|
|
DYEWTS |
|
|
|
|
|
I Want To Cum In Rainbow Dash |
90' |
|
|
|
|
Tracy |
|
|
|
|
|
Alicorn Twilight |
|
|
|
|
|
Best Pony |
|
|
|
|
|
>rape |
|
|
|
| Substitutions:
|
|
|
Horsefucker |
88' |
|
|
|
|
Tara Strong |
90' |
|
|
|
|
Thanks M.A. Larson |
109' |
|
|
| Manager:
|
Testanon !!ZMJQq4w/UgP
ShadowTester !!RHFYTqTpXTT
BG Pony !!x4w9HUuYDSq
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Bert Is A Titan (/a/)
|
| Match Stats
|
| Possession (%)
|
|
48
|
|
52
|
| Shots (on target)
|
|
11
|
|
9
|
|
(5)
|
|
(5)
|
| Fouls (offside)
|
|
4
|
|
0
|
|
(1)
|
|
(0)
|
| Corner Kicks
|
|
1
|
|
3
|
| Free Kicks
|
|
0
|
|
4
|
| Passes completed (%)
|
|
82
|
|
82
|
| Crosses
|
|
4
|
|
3
|
| Interceptions
|
|
9
|
|
13
|
| Tackles
|
|
6
|
|
5
|
| Saves
|
|
6
|
|
2
|
|
Third Place Match
Once again, the usually well-rigged Bittenfeld was surprisingly quiet and short of commands as /h/ was blown the fuck out by the clopping hooves of /mlp/. While an early goal would be scored by Tracy in the first half, /h/, exhausted from their wasted offense against /wg/, found themselves unable to answer throughout the game. A miraculous mortar ball sealed the deal, slipped in behind Faceless Fat Man by /mlp/ saviour Alicorn Twilight in front of a stunned and disbelieving 2200 fans. /h/ goes out of the Winter Cup scoreless in their final two matches, their endurance spent, while /mlp/ fans take consolation in their win of the third place medal, which they will undoubtedly make a plushie of.
| Stadium: Wembley Stadium
|
2 March 2014, 21:00 UTC
|
Attendance: 2213
|
|
|
|
21' Tracy
73' Alicorn Twilight
|
|
|
| Kit:
|
|
|
Faceless Fat Guy |
|
|
|
|
|
Mezzo Forte |
|
|
|
|
|
Umemaro 3D |
|
|
|
|
|
Slut Girl |
|
|
|
|
|
Fap Gauntlet |
|
|
|
|
|
POMF-chan |
|
|
|
|
|
Kneesocks |
|
|
|
|
|
Reika Kitami |
|
|
|
|
|
Delicious Flat Chest |
45' |
|
|
|
|
Asuka Langley Soryu |
|
|
|
|
|
Titty Monster |
|
|
|
| Substitutions:
|
|
|
Angel Blade |
45' |
|
|
| Manager:
|
| Bittenfeld !!YN/c61bWcAz
|
|
|
|
|
| Kit:
|
|
|
Jackie Chan Tulpa |
|
|
|
|
|
Twilicane |
65' |
|
|
|
|
Thanks M.A. Larson |
|
|
|
|
|
Autism In Equestria |
|
|
|
|
|
Hate And Penetrate |
65' |
|
|
|
|
Don't Believe Her Lies |
|
|
|
|
|
I Want To Cum In Rainbow Dash |
|
|
|
|
|
Tracy |
|
|
|
|
|
Alicorn Twilight |
|
|
|
|
|
Best Pony |
|
|
|
|
|
>rape |
|
|
|
| Substitutions:
|
|
|
Crotchtits |
65' |
|
|
|
|
Panda Ring |
65' |
|
|
| Manager:
|
Testanon !!ZMJQq4w/UgP
ShadowTester !!RHFYTqTpXTT
BG Pony !!x4w9HUuYDSq
|
|
|
Man of the Match:
Tracy (/mlp/)
|
| Match Stats
|
| Possession (%)
|
|
44
|
|
56
|
| Shots (on target)
|
|
4
|
|
6
|
|
(4)
|
|
(5)
|
| Fouls (offside)
|
|
0
|
|
1
|
|
(0)
|
|
(0)
|
| Corner Kicks
|
|
1
|
|
2
|
| Free Kicks
|
|
1
|
|
0
|
| Passes completed (%)
|
|
78
|
|
77
|
| Crosses
|
|
2
|
|
4
|
| Interceptions
|
|
9
|
|
11
|
| Tackles
|
|
1
|
|
3
|
| Saves
|
|
2
|
|
2
|
|
Final
- Main article: 2014 4chan Winter Cup Final
| Stadium: Konami Stadium
|
2 March 2014, 21:40 UTC
|
Attendance: 2447
|
Sven Scandiboo 13'
Sex Tourist 84'
|
|
|
/cgl/
/a/
/sp/
/f/
/h/
/toy/
/gif/
/mu/
/asp/
/mlp/
/x/
/v/
/trv/
/wg/
/an/
/soc/
49'
