Rigged Wiki:Players of the week
This is the front page of Player of the Week's archive, a near-annual (formerly weekly but not since like 2014) piece featuring a player of the moment. New articles come whenever they are written by the community. Feel free to submit a piece, contact User:F4r. This page contains all articles from the current year. Here are links to all articles from past years:
Wednesday, 13th of February
|Build: 180cm, 66kg|
|Player Skills: S03, S08, S12, S14, S16, S26|
|Playing Style: Box to Box|
|Germany was having trouble, what a sad, sad story
Where, oh, where was he? Where could that man be?
We looked around -- and then we found -- the man for you and me!
...in any case, it may not be springtime, but /pol/ is back! And there's no better striker to herald the return of a /pol/arizing stalwart than the Führer himself. After all, at a time where Moonman was too busy leading right-wing death squads to sniff out undesirables in the locker rooms, and Alex Jones was too busy being addled by the chemicals in the water to shoot on target, who persevered and brought home the trophy for /pol/?
Natürlich niemand anderes als der Führer.
Behind Hitler all /pol/ follows.
Before him, the Winter Cup, and tomorrow, the world.
Saturday, 23rd of March
|No >YOUR< Program Sucks /3/|
|Build: 175cm, 66kg|
|Player Skills: S08, S13, S24|
|Playing Style: The Destroyer|
|Imagine being scored on by a non-medal CMF. What kind of shitty team would let that happen to them?
Now imagine getting scored on by said non-medal CMF thrice.
Fortunately, there's no player in a better position to shit on other teams than renowned /3/ shitposter No >YOUR< Program Sucks, and this Winter, he did just that. Part of /3/'s ironclad midfield, this player has somehow managed to transmute years of experience in shitflinging about software into shots flung cleanly into the opposing goal. With a brace against /pol/, an extra goal against /tg/, and a quick three-minute shot during a quarterfinal rematch against the ledditors, it's the shitposter's record that best shows off the lethality and tightly-controlled midfield of this Winter's /3/, where seemingly any player could score and any forward drive was a threat — one that took the eventual cup winners /gd/ in order to dismantle.
While /3/ may not have taken the star, they came damn well close, and it's in great part thanks to this embodiment of /3/. Which, by the way — wasn't made in Maya (it's shit), or 3DS Max (it's shit) — it was made in Blender.
You heard me right, get fucked. And that goes for any of you shit Babby-ass teams still doubting /3/ after this run — next Summer, he'll be shitting on you.
Tuesday, 2nd of July
|Build: 185cm, 80kg|
|Player Skills: P03, S06, S12, S16, S24, S26|
|Playing Style: None|
|I have a home project that requires goals, goals, and more goals. I can't just go out and buy them like some teams, so how am I going to get these goals? Just become MacGyver of course!
When scoring is down and the project is looking like a lost cause, there is no one else to turn to other than /diy/ idol MacGyver, and he proved in Spring that there is not anyone else better to turn to when the job calls for receiving masterclass passes and putting them in the back of the net. Leading the /diy/ attack, he proves that you don't need a gun to have explosive firepower, as his pace and speed down the field allowed him to rack up 6 goals in 4 matches, as well as assisting on one of the other 2 goals for /diy/. Without MacGyver, /diy/ would have lacked creativity throughout the entire pitch, and lacking creativity on /diy/ is a surefire way to get you laughed all the way back to the department store.
While MacGyver and the rest of /diy/ have proven they still have what it takes to make a high quality model football team after a 3 and a half year trip to the hardware store, they were unfortunately dismantled by an even bigger underdog in /i/, in what was a stellar match that resulted in penalties after MacGyver's 2 goals and converted penalty in the shootout proved not to be enough for the job. Ultimately, Blacksmith missed the deciding penalty, and /diy/ fans everywhere are calling for his forge to be removed because his metalworking has proven to be shit.
Be on the lookout for MacGyver this Summer, as the main handyman looks to keep /diy/ elite, no matter how many hours he'll have to spend tinkering in his workshop to get the best team on the pitch.