Difference between revisions of "Template:Player of the week"

From Rigged Wiki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Line 1: Line 1:
{| width="100%" style="background: transparent; margin: 5px;"
{| width="100%" style="background: transparent; margin: 5px;"
|-
|-
| rowspan="6" width="20%" style="padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 10px;" | [[File:POTW_sadpanda.png|350px]]
| rowspan="6" width="20%" style="padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 10px;" | [[File:POTW_nachos2.jpg|350px]]
| width="80%" align="justify" style="font-size: 180%; padding-top: 5px;" | '''Sad Panda''' {{team away|h}}
| width="80%" align="justify" style="font-size: 180%; padding-top: 5px;" | '''Nachos''' {{team away|ck}}
|-
|-
| width="80%" | {{Position|GK}}
| width="80%" | {{Position|CF}}
|-
|-
| width="80%" style="font-size: 90%;" | <b>Build:</b> 185cm, 82kg
| width="80%" align="justify" style="font-size: 90%;" | If you doubt the power of the Cup to create stories all its own, allow me to tell you the story of a certain insane Mexican.  
|-
| width="80%" style="font-size: 90%;" | <b>Player Skills:</b> {{tt|S21|GK Long Throw}}
|-
| width="80%" style="font-size: 90%;" | <b>Playing Style:</b> Offensive Goalkeeper
|-
| width="80%" align="justify" style="font-size: 90%;" |There's a question that's dogged both /h/ newfags and frustrated Cup strikers forever -- how the ''fuck'' do I get past this goddamn panda?<br />
 
Known as the biggest and most reliable index for drawings of all sorts, exhentai, more popularly as the '''Sad Panda''', was beloved among all [[:/h/]] for hosting all their favorite fetishes and art with decades' worth of material. Then, tragedy struck: a new sticky on /h/ told users to backup material on Sad Panda immediately due to new laws in the {{tt|Netherlands|exhentai's long-time host}}. Users panickedly scrambled to backup everything they could, but -- there's only so much you can save in twelve hours. Though a backup eventually saved everything, the panic and dread that comes from losing the original and having to save so much could not dissipate so easily.<br />


So how did this carry over to the pitch? For their final group stage match against [[:/g/]], Sad Panda became an AMF and a gold medal in honor of his many years of service, and just like that PES found a way to reward him.<br />
It was one day, as a man with a grand sombrero of melted cheese trudged through the searing North American wilderness, that a mirage appeared before his eyes. None alive now know if it was merely the heat of the midday desert sun, or the dwindling bottles of tequila hooked to his belt. But as the man was urged on by a buffering vision of a German in a winter hat, he would soon find himself at the foot of a grand stadium.  


With a free kick opportunity just outside of the box, the panda put it right into the back of the net, sending /h/ fans into a frenzy, with their lament momentarily forgotten, and the joy of a divegrass miracle filling their hearts. You'd be hard-pressed to write a better doujin {{tt|plot|lel}} than that.
With his stomach nearly empty and his life fading, he came to in a locker room lined end to end with culinary delights. A sample here of {{tt|fast food|for him, it was the McChicken}}, a sip of perfect coffee, an exquisite braise of pork ribs, and, as luck would have it -- some good old-fashioned 'go 'za. Though the players assembled were clueless as to why a seemingly random immigrant had found their way into the team lunch, it so happened that they were currently in the market for an eleventh player.  


But as /h/ fans blew their collective load for the Panda goal, so, it seems, did /h/ -- when the Panda let a heart-breaking goal past him in the last minute of eggsdra diem, /h/’s loss in the [[2019 4chan Summer Cup knockout stage|Round of 16]] was sealed, capping off /h/’s emotional cup run. No matter how sad this made the panda, /h/ fans surely will still love him all the same.<br />
They were not prepared for this man to lead them nearly to great victory, nor for him to outscore everyone else. Or for the fans to constantly demand back his food-tipped hat, so they could celebrate to the ciocarlian fanfares that accompanied his goals. Nor did they expect this man to lead them through their highs and lows, to [[Curses#Curse of Third Place|break the most eldritch of curses]], or stay as long as he did.  


Watch the [[2020 4chan Winter Cup|Winter Cup]], coming to a backup save near you soon, to see if /h/ can penetrate the field harder next time!
A moment of silence, Cup fans, for '''Nachos''', one of the old greats. Though mysterious circumstances involving {{tt|Mexican weed|Thanks Sou}} took him away from us all too soon, may his memory serve as a reminder that in the Cup, players need not to be born great, if they can be made great.
|-
|-
| colspan="3" align="right" | '''[[:Rigged Wiki:Players of the week|Archive]]'''
| colspan="3" align="right" | '''[[:Rigged Wiki:Players of the week|Archive]]'''
|}
|}

Revision as of 05:48, 31 December 2019

POTW nachos2.jpg Nachos Ck icon.png /ck/
  CF
If you doubt the power of the Cup to create stories all its own, allow me to tell you the story of a certain insane Mexican.

It was one day, as a man with a grand sombrero of melted cheese trudged through the searing North American wilderness, that a mirage appeared before his eyes. None alive now know if it was merely the heat of the midday desert sun, or the dwindling bottles of tequila hooked to his belt. But as the man was urged on by a buffering vision of a German in a winter hat, he would soon find himself at the foot of a grand stadium.

With his stomach nearly empty and his life fading, he came to in a locker room lined end to end with culinary delights. A sample here of fast food, a sip of perfect coffee, an exquisite braise of pork ribs, and, as luck would have it -- some good old-fashioned 'go 'za. Though the players assembled were clueless as to why a seemingly random immigrant had found their way into the team lunch, it so happened that they were currently in the market for an eleventh player.

They were not prepared for this man to lead them nearly to great victory, nor for him to outscore everyone else. Or for the fans to constantly demand back his food-tipped hat, so they could celebrate to the ciocarlian fanfares that accompanied his goals. Nor did they expect this man to lead them through their highs and lows, to break the most eldritch of curses, or stay as long as he did.

A moment of silence, Cup fans, for Nachos, one of the old greats. Though mysterious circumstances involving Mexican weed took him away from us all too soon, may his memory serve as a reminder that in the Cup, players need not to be born great, if they can be made great.

Archive
Retrieved from "https://implyingrigged.info/w/index.php?title=Template:Player_of_the_week&oldid=157266"