Difference between revisions of "/britpol/"

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|general= yes
|general= yes
|name= British Politics
|name= British Politics
|motto= God Save the Queen
|motto= God Save the King
|date= June 23rd, 2016
|date= June 23rd, 2016
|manager=  Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories, Queen, Head of the Commonwealth and Defender of the Faith
|manager=  His Majesty Charles the Third, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of His other Realms and Territories, King, Head of the Commonwealth and Defender of the Faith
|irl= {{Anonymous|6letters|!!9Ddx6tl1+0u }}<br>
|irl= {{Anonymous|Managerless|}}<br>|color1=bf0001  
|color1=bf0001
|color2=00247c
|color2=00247c
|bgcolor=00247c
|bgcolor=00247c
|txtcolor=FFFFFF
|txtcolor=FFFFFF
|scorer= Are Nige
|scorer= Are Nige
|goals= 6
|goals= 24
|assister= Are Nige
|assister= Goalposting
|assists= 3
|assists= 13
|hex=00247c
|hex=00247c
|color= Royal Blue
|color= Royal Blue
|captain= Are Nige
|captain= Are Nige
|w=3
|w=16
|d=3
|d=5
|l=6
|l=13
|gf= 14
|gf= 74
|ga= 24
|ga= 59
|win_home= fsg
|win_home= sig
|win_away= britpol
|win_away= britpol
|win_score_home= 2
|win_score_home= 0
|win_score_away= 3
|win_score_away= 7
|win_date= 6 January 2018
|win_date= 13 June 2020
|lose_home= mlpol
|lose_home= mlpol
|lose_away= britpol
|lose_away= britpol
Line 38: Line 37:
|first_score_away= 2
|first_score_away= 2
|first_date= 8 July 2017
|first_date= 8 July 2017
|nickname=  
|nickname= britbongs
|poleague_appearances= '''3'''
|poleague_appearances= '''6'''
|first_poleague_appearance= [[/pol/eague 1]]
|first_poleague_appearance= [[/pol/eague 1]]
|best_poleague_result= '''4th'''
|best_poleague_result= '''<span style="color:  #DAA520; font-size: 100%">Champions</span>'''
|best_poleague_cup= <br>[[/pol/eague 2]]
|best_poleague_cup= <br>[[/pol/eague 5]]
|anthem=youtu.be/RJqimlFcJsM?t=10
|anthem= youtube.com/watch?v=HLHMxFGqhIs
|a_title= Footballs coming home
|a_title= BBC Grandstand
|altanthem1_what= Victory Anthem
|altanthem1_what= Victory Anthem
|altanthem1= youtu.be/Re4aDJL3heA?t=5
|altanthem1= youtu.be/RJqimlFcJsM?t=10
|altanthem1_title= 1990 WC world in motion
|altanthem1_title= Footballs Coming Home
|horn= archive.org/details/youtube-W7uduCAZD38
|horn= archive.org/details/youtube-W7uduCAZD38
|gh_title= Trigger 50 Xurious
|gh_title= Trigger 50 Xurious
|altgh1_what= Are Nige
|altgh1_what= Are Nige
|althorn1= youtu.be/QWsHB6U1r6Q?t=50
|althorn1= youtu.be/QWsHB6U1r6Q?t=50
|altgh1_title= F a r a ge<br>(starts at 50s)
|altgh1_title= f a r a g e<br>(starts at 50s)
|altgh2_what= Karen
|altgh2_what=  
|althorn2= youtube.com/watch?v=60mLvBWOMb4
|althorn2=  
|altgh2_title= DesuDesuDesuDes
|altgh2_title=  
|altgh3_what= Sargon of Cukkad
|altgh3_what=  
|althorn3= https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDYSLzTbYck
|althorn3=  
|altgh3_title= Sargon smug chuckle remix
|altgh3_title=  
|altgh4_what= Mummy May
|altgh4_what=  
|althorn4= youtube.com/watch?v=D2fSXp6N-vs
|althorn4=  
|altgh4_title= Cassetteboy vs Snooping Charter
|altgh4_title=  
|altgh5_what = Absolute Madlad
|altgh5_what = Punished Boris
|althorn5= https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeeUGAd0LKE
|althorn5= youtu.be/cre0in5n-1E?t=141
|altgh5_title = Postman Pat remix
|altgh5_title = B O R I S W A V E
|altgh6_what = Goalposting first
|altgh6_what = Goalposting first
|althorn6= youtu.be/V6hjI5VSaao?t=69
|althorn6= youtu.be/V6hjI5VSaao?t=69
Line 73: Line 72:


}}<br />
}}<br />
'ate /eire/ taigs


'ate /ptg/ mutts
'ate /ptg/ mutts


'ate /sg/ pakis
'ate /pole/ polish


'ate /nsg/ stormfags
'ate /leftypol/ lefties


'ate /mlpol/ horsefuckers
'ate /mlpol/ horsefuckers
Line 92: Line 89:


== Roster ==
== Roster ==
{| border="0"
{{sq start ptg}}
|-
{{sq start player |no=# |pos=GK |name= <span class="explain" title= "King Charles III >King Chuck's Organic Feed and Seed (Formerly Lizzie's)</span>{{captain}}}}
|bgcolor="#FFFFFF" valign="top" width="48%"|
{{sq start player |no=# |pos=LB |name= <span class="explain" title= "BLM, get the vax, gay pride, trans pride, Ukraine, I guess it's whatever The Current Thing is right now >The Current Thing</span>}}
{| border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2"
{{sq start player |no=# |pos=CB |name= <span class="explain" title= "The official border supposed to be keeping the refugees in France >Calais Border</span>}}
|- style="color:#FFFFFF; background:#00247c;"
{{sq start player |no=# |pos=CB |name= <span class="explain" title= "ULEZ Zones in London, 15 minute cities in Oxford and proposed in a dozen other towns and cities, the latest WEF encouraged set of dystopian policies this time aimed at motorists and anyone that uses a private car for this already awful surveillance nanny state country >You WILL Not Drive and You WILL Be Happy With It</span>}}
!width=1%|No.
{{sq start player |no=# |pos=RB |name= <span class="explain" title= "The current Home Secretary who is actually willing to go full deport the refugees to Rwanda, race war now if it protects the native supply of big white cock for future generations, a based and absolutely bleach-pilled brown woman >Suella BLEACHEDerman</span>}}
!width=1%|Position
{{sq start player |no=# |pos=DMF |name= <span class="explain" title= "Meanwhile the local pubs go bankrupt at breakneck speed, refugees still get free five star hotels and generous gibs >Pubs Bankrupt, Refugees Loaded.</span>}}
!width=225px|Player{{sq start player |no=# |pos=GK |name=Calais Border}}
{{sq silver player |no=# |pos=CMF |name= <span class="explain" title= "Over the last year or so just about everyone has gone on strike; doctors, nurses, rail workers, teachers, civil servants at this point the country is just 'fuck it, go on strike until huge unrealistic pay demands get met' - so indefinately then >muh pay, muh inflation, muh cost of living</span>}}
{{sq start player |no=# |pos=CB |name=The Absolute State of Mummy May }}
{{sq silver player |no=# |pos=CMF |name= <span class="explain" title= "The never ending clusterfuck that is the small boats crossing the Channel, 'Stop The Boats' the government say, but they'll do fuck all about it >Boat People</span>}}
{{sq start player |no=# |pos=CB |name=Comrade Corbyn}}
{{sq silver player |no=# |pos=AMF |name= <span class="explain" title= "Rishi Sunak, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, he became the first pajeet to redeem Britain >Designated Shitting Country</span>}}
{{sq start player |no=# |pos=LB |name={{greentext|White>Chinese>Girlfriend}}}}
{{sq gold player |no=# |pos=CF |name= <span class="explain" title= "Mr. Brexit, Nigel Farage >Are Nige</span>}}
{{sq start player |no=# |pos=RB |name=Sajid Javid}}
{{sq gold player |no=# |pos=CF |name= <span class="explain" title= "Norf FC’s top lad, ates’ pakis, ates’ Souf FC, ates’ foreigners, loves Greggs, loves Norf FC, simple as' >Goalposting</span>}}
{{sq start player |no=# |pos=CMF |name=Moggmentum}}
{{sq mid ptg}}
{{sq start player |no=# |pos=AMF |name=Absolute Madlad}}
{{sq player |no=# |pos=LB |name= <span class="explain" title= "The absolute state of our once great capital >Londistan</span>}}
{{sq silver player |no=# |pos=CMF |name=Karen}}
{{sq player |no=# |pos=LB |name= <span class="explain" title= "Leader of the Labour Party and blandest and most unremarkable opposition party leader to emerge for decades likely to luckshit his way into Downing Street next year after years of Tory managed decline >Kier “Literally Who?” Starmer</span>}}
{{sq silver player |no=# |pos=AMF |name=Sargon of Cukkad}}
{{sq player |no=# |pos=CB |name= <span class="explain" title= "Peter Hitchens summing up the bleak future of this damned country and seeing the writing on the wall >It's over.</span>}}
{{sq gold player |no=# |pos=SS |name=Are Nige {{captain}}}}
{{sq player |no=# |pos=CB |name= <span class="explain" title= "More interested in policing wrongthink and dancing at pride marches than you know, doing their actual job solving or even pretending to prevent crime >>>>British Police</span>}}
{{sq gold player |no=# |pos=CF |name=Goalposting}}
{{sq player |no=# |pos=CB |name= <span class="explain" title= "The absolute state of the Scottish Government >*blocks your trans rights*</span>}}
|}
{{sq player |no=# |pos=RB |name= <span class="explain" title= "Jacob Rees-Mogg, one of the few actual conservatives left in the Conservative Party, hopefully likely to be a prominent figure again with the Tories likely return to opposition >M O G G E D</span>}}
| width="1%" |
{{sq player |no=# |pos=RB |name= <span class="explain" title= "Iconic 1960s politician who’s famous Rivers of Blood speech about mass migration arguably predicted everything we’re seeing today decades ago  >Enoch Powell Was Right</span>}}
|bgcolor="#FFFFFF" valign="top" width="48%"|
{{sq player |no=# |pos=DMF |name= <span class="explain" title= "A constant feature of the last two years has been upper class climatefags blocking roads, disrupting events and pulling any other stunt they can do piss off the general public and achieve absolutely fuck all >*blocks your path*</span>}}
{| border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2"
{{sq player |no=# |pos=DMF |name= <span class="explain" title= "That time one of the tabloid papers bet a fucking lettuce would outlast Liz Truss as Prime Minister and it did >A Fucking Lettuce</span>}}
|- style="color:#FFFFFF; background:#00247c;"
{{sq player |no=# |pos=CMF |name= <span class="explain" title= "Brit/pol/'s waifu and favourite anime girl >Karen</span>}}
!width=1%|No.
{{sq player |no=# |pos=AMF |name= <span class="explain" title= "Muh 1400 gorrilion raped Rotherham schoolgirls, whenever you go up north there’s always a local paki rape gang >Paki Rape Gangs</span>}}
!width=1%|Position
{{sq player |no=# |pos=CF |name= <span class="explain" title= "Lineal boxing champion of the world and arguably the most based boxer of all-time >Gypsy King</span>}}
!width=225px|Player
{{sq player |no=# |pos=CB |name=indyref 2 never ever}}
{{sq player |no=# |pos=CB |name=Her Majesty the Mutt Duchess}}
{{sq player |no=# |pos=LB |name=Minutes Silence}}
{{sq player |no=# |pos=LB |name=Eddie}}
{{sq player |no=# |pos=RB |name=Mr Slippery}}
{{sq player |no=# |pos=RB |name=Grenfell 2.0}}
{{sq player |no=# |pos=DMF |name=Enoch Powell was Right}}
{{sq player |no=# |pos=CMF |name=Londonistan}}
{{sq player |no=# |pos=LMF |name=*Skin Flaps in the Wind*}}
{{sq player |no=# |pos=RMF |name=The Gove Cove}}
{{sq player |no=# |pos=AMF |name={{greentext|Soft Brexit}}}}
{{sq player |no=# |pos=CF |name=Ngubu}}
{{sq end}}
{{sq end}}
{|{{Prettytable}}
|-
|style="font-size:90%;" width="40px" align="center"|'''Sub'''
|style="background:#C3D69B; font-size:90%;" width="40px" align="center"|'''Starter'''
|style="background:#C0C0C0; font-size:90%;" width="40px" align="center"|'''Silver'''
|style="background:#EDDA74; font-size:90%;" width="40px" align="center"|'''Gold'''
|-
|}


<h3>Goalkeepers</h3>
<h3>Goalkeepers</h3>
{|{{Prettytable}}
{|{{Prettytable}}
|-
|-
|width="1%" style="background:#DBE5F1;"|'''Pos.'''
|width="1%" style="background:#00247c;color:#FFFFFF"|'''Pos.'''
|width="15%" style="background:#DBE5F1;"|'''Name'''
|width="15%" style="background:#00247c;color:#FFFFFF"|'''Name'''
|width="1%" style="background:#DBE5F1;"|'''Picture'''
|width="1%" style="background:#00247c;color:#FFFFFF"|'''Picture'''
|width="40%" style="background:#DBE5F1;"|'''Description'''
|width="40%" style="background:#00247c;color:#FFFFFF"|'''Description'''
|-
|-
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | {{Position|GK}}
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | {{Position|GK}}
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | '''Calais Border'''
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | '''King Chuck's Feed and Seed (Formerly Lizzie's)'''
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" |  
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" |  
|style="background: #C3D69B"|Keeping the immigrants where they belong, in France
|style="background: #C3D69B"|God save da 'king!
|}
|}


Line 157: Line 133:
{|{{Prettytable}}
{|{{Prettytable}}
|-
|-
|width="1%" style="background: #DBE5F1;"|'''Pos.'''
|width="1%" style="background: #00247c;color:#FFFFFF"|'''Pos.'''
|width="15%" style="background: #DBE5F1;"|'''Name'''
|width="15%" style="background: #00247c;color:#FFFFFF"|'''Name'''
|width="1%" style="background: #DBE5F1;"|'''Picture'''
|width="1%" style="background: #00247c;color:#FFFFFF"|'''Picture'''
|width="40%" style="background: #DBE5F1;"|'''Description'''
|width="40%" style="background: #00247c;color:#FFFFFF"|'''Description'''
|-
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | {{Position|LB}}
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | '''Three Lions'''
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" |
|style="background: #C3D69B"|It's 2022 and any sportsball event in this country is still wall-to-wall kneeling and 'muh racism' gestures and videos all because three Ngubus couldn't take a penalty properly last summer and some people said mean things about it.
|-
|-
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | {{Position|CB}}
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | {{Position|CB}}
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | '''Comrade Corbyn'''
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | '''Calais Border'''
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" |
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" |
|style="background: #C3D69B"| Having thrown away every single old Labour value and exclusively pushed the free university, pacifist SJW student vote and the free money vote, he was a far short majority behind the Conservatives. A formerly anti EU shill, then Camerons slave dog on Remain, only got into his leadership role by changing the rules on how Labour leadership is gained (Anyone can pay £50 to vote anywhere in the world any party). On every Brexit news he claims "We are the ones who will bring Brexit" as if he knows his sheep will have forgot everything else he has done.
|style="background: #C3D69B"| Keeping the 'refugees' where they belong, in France.
|-
|-
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | {{Position|CB}}
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | {{Position|CB}}
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | '''The Absolute State of Mummy May'''
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | '''GET BOOSTED NOW'''
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" |  
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" |  
|style="background: #C3D69B"|C O M P R O M I S E . After endlessly refusing to deliver a pure Brexit sucking EU and Remain dick at every turn she has finally been ousted leading to the current Conservative leadership election.
|style="background: #C3D69B"|I cannot express how important it is that you GET. BOOSTED. NOW. God knows how many times Boris pushed the latest one-liner from GCHG's psyops division. But really you need to get your 9059372th clot shot booster right now.
|-
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | {{Position|LB}}
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | '''{{greentext|White>Chinese>Girlfriend}}'''
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" |
|style="background: #C3D69B"|Jeremy Hunt uses his chinese wife as a "look i have a chinese wife i cant be racist" card
|-
|-
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | {{Position|RB}}
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | {{Position|RB}}
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | '''Sajid Javid'''
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | '''Punished Suella'''
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" |
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" |
|style="background: #C3D69B"|Home Secretary and unafraid to shit talk muslim and immigrant issues as he is muslim himself
|style="background: #C3D69B"|The former Home Secretary who wanted to actually do something about the boat people in the Channel and woke policing but suspiciously ended up resigning on the smallest possible infringement of the rules. I would who could possibly be behind this?
|-
|-
|align="center" | {{Position|CB}}
|align="center" | {{Position|CB}}
|align="center" | '''indyref 2 NEVER EVER'''
|align="center" | '''British >Police'''
|align="center" |  
|align="center" |  
|After a general election which left the SNP in power mainly as a Scottish shitpost against the then MP Gordon Brown, the SNP has lingered despite open Scottish hatred against it and subsequent polls and referendums against leaving the UK. Like an unflushable shit whos only agenda is begging for a second referendum to leave the UK and nothing else.
|Supposedly having a staffing, funding and resourcing crisis but still too busy showing to dance at gay pride events to actually solve any crimes. Doing absolutely nothing to show up or investigate while crime surges out of control and low level crimes become effectively decriminalised.
|-
|-
|align="center" | {{Position|CB}}
|align="center" | {{Position|CB}}
|align="center" | '''Her Majesty The Mutt Duchess'''
|align="center" | '''Morrissey'''
|align="center" |  
|align="center" |
|Prince Harrys choice of wife is going to lead to a crop of healthy inbred brown princes and princesses that lead a glum look of what could be your future nigger king
| Not that long ago every cookie cutter journo and Guardian reader used to fall over themselves about how they were lifelong Smiths fans, now they fall over themselves to denounce are' Morrissey as literally just a Hitler who can sing.
|-
|-
|align="center" | {{Position|LB}}
|align="center" | {{Position|LB}}
|align="center" | '''Minutes Silence'''
|align="center" | '''Keir "Hold My Beer While I glass this queer" Starmer'''
|align="center" |
|align="center" |
| A fire, a stabbing, something overseas, then another bombing, 11am every fucking day
|Blandest opposition leader anyone has ever seen. Only ever polls well when Boris fucks something up, which is a lot of things these days.
|-
|-
|align="center" | {{Position|LB}}
|align="center" | {{Position|LB}}
|align="center" | '''Eddie'''
|align="center" | '''Londistan'''
|align="center" |
|align="center" |  
|Eddie Hitler lookalike Paul Nuttal, UKIP leader in Farages absence but before and after this failed 6 times to get a  UKIP seat in the main parliament. Resigned into obscurity in 2017. Also the name of the original tripfag that led to Goalposting
|le 44% face. Still mayored by Sadiq Khan, pro independent Londonistan and pushed for backdooring Turkey into the EU.  
|-
|-
|align="center" | {{Position|RB}}
|align="center" | {{Position|RB}}
|align="center" | '''Mr Slippery'''
|align="center" | '''Enoch Powell was right'''
|align="center" |  
|align="center" |
|David Cameron former remain cuck Prime Minister who tried to do a Thatcher "walk to EU and demand your money back" spectacularly failed, was forced to call the Brexit referendum that led us to the current situation. And much like former labour and militant pro remain PM Tony Blair cant shut the fuck up as if he still has influence.  
|Everything he said would happen has come true at some point in the last decade or so. Streets have run with rivers of blood from British terror attack victims and the coloured man has made the average Brit kneel before them at (((anti-racism))) protests. Enoch was truly right after all.  
|-
|-
|align="center" | {{Position|RB}}
|align="center" | {{Position|RB}}
|align="center" | '''Grenfell 2.0'''
|align="center" | '''indyref 2 NEVER EVER'''
|align="center" |
|align="center" |
|More flat fires have occured since Grenfell, most recent one in Barking Gardens
|After a general election which left the SNP in power mainly as a Scottish shitpost against the then MP Gordon Brown, the SNP has lingered despite open Scottish hatred against it and subsequent polls and referendums against leaving the UK. Like an unflushable shit whos only agenda is begging for a second referendum to leave the UK and nothing else.
|-
|-
|}
|}
Line 217: Line 193:
{|{{Prettytable}}
{|{{Prettytable}}
|-
|-
|width="1%" style="background:#DBE5F1;"|'''Pos.'''
|width="1%" style="background:#00247c;color:#FFFFFF""|'''Pos.'''
|width="15%" style="background:#DBE5F1;"|'''Name'''
|width="15%" style="background:#00247c;color:#FFFFFF""|'''Name'''
|width="1%" style="background:#DBE5F1;"|'''Picture'''
|width="1%" style="background:#00247c;color:#FFFFFF""|'''Picture'''
|width="40%" style="background:#DBE5F1;"|'''Description'''
|width="40%" style="background:#00247c;color:#FFFFFF"|'''Description'''
|-
|-
|style="background: #C0C0C0" align="center" | {{Position|CMF}}
|style="background: #C0C0C0" align="center" | {{Position|LMF}}
|style="background: #C0C0C0" align="center" | '''Karen'''
|style="background: #C0C0C0" align="center" | '''Paki Rape Gangs'''
|style="background: #C0C0C0" align="center" |
|style="background: #C0C0C0" align="center" |
|style="background: #C0C0C0"| A true patriot who always flies the british flag and shows off her culture while learning new things abroad. Oh and shes a cute animu girl
|style="background: #C0C0C0" align="center" |Muh six gorrilion raped Rotherham teenage girls. Every northern town over a certain size for some reason has a local ring of paki rapists passing the local white teenagers around like currency. But don't you dare ask why or you'll end up behind bars you bloody racist.
|-
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | {{Position|CMF}}
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | '''Karen'''
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" |
|style="background: #C3D69B"|BA true patriot who always flies the Union flag and shows off her culture while learning new things abroad. Oh and she's a cute animu girl.
|-
|-
|style="background: #C0C0C0" align="center" | {{Position|AMF}}
|style="background: #C0C0C0" align="center" | {{Position|CMF}}
|style="background: #C0C0C0" align="center" | '''Sargon of Cukkad'''
|style="background: #C0C0C0" align="center" | '''Pubs bankrupt, refugees loaded.'''
|style="background: #C0C0C0" align="center" |  
|style="background: #C0C0C0" align="center" |  
|style="background: #C0C0C0" | Carl Benjamin AKA Sargon of Akkad not content with just his intellectual ego being reamed day after day by the likes of Metokur; decided to go into EU politics on a pro Brexit platfrom and failed spectacularly, from ousting other potentially good candidates from UKIP, making quotable statements like "i wouldnt even rape you" and (on age of consent) "it depends on the age of the child" and while his divine grace Farage creating the Brexit party was the real catalyst, Cuckkad got a front row seat as second UKIP chair to watch the election results roll in, leaving what was left of his party with 0 seats and 3% of the vote
|style="background: #C0C0C0" | As the energy prices and cost-of-living crisis causes your local pub and thousands of other small businesses to go bust, guess what? Those so called 'refugees' coming flooding over the Channel, well they're getting your hard-earned tax money for comfortable hotel accommodation and generous handouts.
|-
|style="background: #C0C0C0"" align="center" | {{Position|RMF}}
|style="background: #C0C0C0"" align="center" | '''A Fucking Lettuce'''
|style="background: #C0C0C0"" align="center" |
|style="background: #C0C0C0"" | Shortly before Liz Truss resigned after less than two months in office, a tabloid paper asked which would last longer given the choice between Truss and a humble vegetable in her final week. Guess what? The lettuce won.
|-
|-
|align="center" | {{Position|DMF}}
|align="center" | {{Position|DMF}}
|align="center" | '''Enoch Powell was Right'''
|align="center" | '''BAMEposting'''
|align="center" |
|align="center" |
|
|A well-used acronym in the last few years for Black Asian Ethnic Minorty people. You switch on your TV; they're everywhere, you watch the footie; they're everywhere, you look at your government; they're everywhere. Face it, BAMEs are everywhere especially living in /britpol/'s head rent free - and they're crashing this country with no survivors.
|-
|-
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | {{Position|CMF}}
|align="center" | {{Position|LMF}}
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | '''Moggmentum'''
|align="center" | '''The Current Thing'''
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" |  
|align="center" |  
|style="background: #C3D69B" | Along with Boris one of the forefront faces of unashamed pro Brexit. Declined the leadership race for Prime Minister in Mays absence
|Friday for climate? 2019 is ancient history mate. Clapping for muh NHS heroes and their Tik Tok dancing? That was so 2020. BLM and kneeling at every footy match? Nah kinda died out in 2021. But guess what fellow NPCs a new Current Thing has dropped! Get ready to fly your Ukrainian flags, post lengthy anti-Russian rants for upvotes and get your social media flag filters ready because 2022 has it's very own Current Thing now!
|-
|-
|align="center" | {{Position|CMF}}
|align="center" | {{Position|CMF}}
|align="center" | '''Londonistan'''
|align="center" | '''Hearty English Breakfast'''
|align="center" |  
|align="center" |
|le 44% face. Still mayored by Sadiq Khan, pro independent Londonistan and pushed for backdooring Turkey into the EU
|You can have your fancy Greggs and Costas, but there's nuffin' like a good ol' full English. Rise an' shine with the /britpol/ lads at your local greasy spoon caff'.
|-
|-
|align="center" | {{Position|LMF}}
|align="center" | {{Position|RMF}}
|align="center" | '''*Skin flaps in the wind*'''
|align="center" | '''Crashing this economy...'''
|align="center" |  
|align="center" |  
|Rory Stewart's face is a miracle of physics. One of the Stragglers in the Conservative race. Also former minister for Africa and current minister for international relations. Knows how to deal with niggers
|Kwasi Kwarteng, the former Chancellor of the Exchequer and baneposting appreciator who only lasted 38 days but not without leaving an impressive legacy; crashing the Pound, pension funds, government borrowing rates and the mortgage markets with no survivors.  
|-
|-
|align="center" | {{Position|RMF}}
|align="center" | {{Position|AMF}}
|align="center" | '''The Gove Cove'''
|align="center" | '''>Genuine >Asylum Seekers'''
|align="center" |  
|align="center" |  
|Remain tried to dig up history of him snorting coke, self published in a young businessmen article, he has managed to spin it round to a "whats up fag you never snorted coke?" acceptability pushing the business angle of the conservatives into the debates
|Thousands of so called 'refugees' have been crossing the Channel in ever growing waves despite the strange lack of most of them having coming from countries that are neighbouring, yet alone even at war. But it doesn't matter if you're from Iran or Albania, jump on a boat in northern France and just hop over the Channel. You'll get a free escort to safety in Britain and an all-expenses paid stay in a comfortable hotel with free food and drink provided! All this while the rest of the country has a cost of living crisis and the native homeless population freezes to death on the streets in record numbers.
|-
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | {{Position|AMF}}
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" | '''Absolute Madlad'''
|style="background: #C3D69B" align="center" |
|style="background: #C3D69B" | Previous mayor of London, now MP on a pro Brexit platform, an adorably insane puppydog of a man with hair trying to flee from his body who somehow always manages to still be the most sane person in the room who made a load of sweeping changes in his Mayorship of London that greatly improved London Transport. Managed to climb into the office of Foriegn Minister before resigning over Mays compromise. Currently in the lead for Tory leadership after Mays exit
|-
|-
|align="center" | {{Position|AMF}}
|align="center" | {{Position|AMF}}
|align="center" | '''{{greentext|Soft Brexit}}'''
|align="center" | '''The Gypsy King'''
|align="center" |  
|align="center" |  
|Not willing to ever follow the will of the people, the Remain camp and EU shills have been pushing a soft Brexit, where we only leave the EU in name and leave all the policies in place. A cucks gambit that would only please the banks. In the past this was the attempt to make leaving the EU illegal by fuddling the rights of sovereignty. In more recent times they were more successful in creating the framework for a no deal Brexit to be illegal.
|The undisputed lineal champion of the world and the Gypsy King himself, Tyson Fury. Too based to be allowed to hold all four championship titles at once so the boxing world's (((authorities))) stripped him of them. Now back and in form again ever since he has been dedicating his time to breaking one overhyped buck after the other.  
|-
|}
|}


Line 272: Line 253:
{|{{Prettytable}}
{|{{Prettytable}}
|-
|-
|width="1%" style="background:#DBE5F1;"|'''Pos.'''
|width="1%" style="background:#00247c;color:#FFFFFF"|'''Pos.'''
|width="15%" style="background:#DBE5F1;"|'''Name'''
|width="15%" style="background:#00247c;color:#FFFFFF"|'''Name'''
|width="1%" style="background:#DBE5F1;"|'''Picture'''
|width="1%" style="background:#00247c;color:#FFFFFF"|'''Picture'''
|width="40%" style="background:#DBE5F1;"|'''Description'''
|width="40%" style="background:#00247c;color:#FFFFFF"|'''Description'''
|-
|-
|style="background: #EDDA74" align="center" | {{Position|SS}}
|style="background: #EDDA74" align="center" | {{Position|SS}}
|style="background: #EDDA74" align="center" | '''Are Nige'''
|style="background: #EDDA74" align="center" | '''Are Nige'''
|style="background: #EDDA74" align="center" |
|style="background: #EDDA74" align="center" |
|style="background:#EDDA74;"|The man, the legend, the unbarrageble Farage. The man who made Brexit a reality. He had formerly retired during the election leading to UKIP dying like the passengers of a self damaged refugee ship off Italy, returning triumphantly with no platform or propaganda just creating the Brexit party out of the ashes of UKIP entirely on the merits of Brexit means Brexit. The dream , God Emperor Trump and God Emperor Farage side by side.
|style="background:#EDDA74;"|The man, the legend, Mr. Brexit himself, Nigel Farage. The man who made Brexit a reality. He had formerly retired during the election leading to UKIP dying like the passengers of a self damaged refugee ship off Dover, returning triumphantly with no platform or propaganda just creating the Brexit party out of the ashes of UKIP entirely on the merits of Brexit means Brexit. The dream achieved, he contents himself with shitposting on Cameo for the right pricetag.
|-
|-
|style="background: #EDDA74" align="center" | {{Position|CF}}
|style="background: #EDDA74" align="center" | {{Position|CF}}
|style="background: #EDDA74" align="center" | '''GoalPosting'''
|style="background: #EDDA74" align="center" | '''Goalposting'''
|style="background: #EDDA74" align="center" |
|style="background: #EDDA74" align="center" |
|style="background:#EDDA74;"|Noice goal m8 me ol'man used to be a builder Ol 'Woz he woz aye, maybe i cud get ' lads togeva mekk u sum new unns proper shiney loik. Oh oh its nat yoire goal iz it naa y'just fukkin borrowing it arennnt ya are ya you cheeki fukkin cunt just standing in front of it like. Git off that fucking goal then ya slag u think yooos can tekk me yous wanna have a go douz ya, douz YA. I waz fighting before you were fukkin born i waz fighting before I waz fukkin born inside me dads bollocks probably makkin theez fukking goalposts youz standing in front of riet now. Aww how many times you thinkk haz Ngubu haz scored in these nets. Fucking love Ngubu me, got him tattoed on me back even though he transferred straight after to FUKKIN SOUF i still love him me. Score some goals you mad bastard ye. Oh yuh still ere, gonna tri an blokk me shot are ya yure a bloodeh legend you jumpy little bastard yoos fukking champion.
|style="background:#EDDA74;"| Noice goal m8 me ol'man used to be a builder Ol 'Woz he woz aye, maybe i cud get ' lads togeva mekk u sum new unns proper shiney loik. Oh oh its nat yoire goal iz it naa y'just fukkin borrowing it arennnt ya are ya you cheeki fukkin cunt just standing in front of it like. Git off that fucking goal then ya slag u think yooos can tekk me yous wanna have a go douz ya, douz YA. I waz fighting before you were fukkin born i waz fighting before I waz fukkin born inside me dads bollocks probably makkin theez fukking goalposts youz standing in front of riet now. Aww how many times you thinkk haz Ngubu haz scored in these nets. Fucking love Ngubu me, got him tattoed on me back even though he transferred straight after to FUKKIN SOUF i still love him me. Score some goals you mad bastard ye. Oh yuh still ere, gonna tri an blokk me shot are ya yure a bloodeh legend you jumpy little bastard yoos fukking champion.
|-
|align="center" | {{Position|CF}}
|align="center" | '''Ngubu'''
|align="center" |
|Cum back Ngubu we missez youz
|-
|-
|}
|}
Line 306: Line 282:
|align=center |{{team away|ptg}}
|align=center |{{team away|ptg}}
|align=center|[[:/pol/eague 1]]
|align=center|[[:/pol/eague 1]]
|align=center|2-2 D
|align=center|2&ndash;2 D
|<small> {{goal|3||38}} 40 yr old School Child</small>
|<small> {{goal|3||38}} 40 yr old School Child</small>
|-bgcolor='ffcccc'
|-bgcolor='ffcccc'
Line 312: Line 288:
|align=center |{{team away|eire}}
|align=center |{{team away|eire}}
|align=center|[[:/pol/eague 1]]
|align=center|[[:/pol/eague 1]]
|align=center|1-3 L
|align=center|1&ndash;3 L
|<small> {{goal|82}} Based Nige</small>
|<small> {{goal|82}} Based Nige</small>
|-bgcolor='ffffcc'
|-bgcolor='ffffcc'
Line 318: Line 294:
|align=center |{{team away|sg}}
|align=center |{{team away|sg}}
|align=center|[[:/pol/eague 1]]
|align=center|[[:/pol/eague 1]]
|align=center|1-1 D
|align=center|1&ndash;1 D
|<small> {{goal|21}} Based Nige</small>
|<small> {{goal|21}} Based Nige</small>
|-bgcolor=ffcccc
|-bgcolor=ffcccc
Line 374: Line 350:
|align=center | 2&ndash;1 W
|align=center | 2&ndash;1 W
|<small> {{goal|11}} MOGGMENTUM<br> {{goal|85}} Goalposting</small>
|<small> {{goal|11}} MOGGMENTUM<br> {{goal|85}} Goalposting</small>
|-bgcolor=
|-bgcolor=ffffcc
|align=center | 22 June 2019
|align=center | 22 June 2019
|align=center | {{team away|mlpol}}
|align=center | {{team away|mlpol}}
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 4]]
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 4]]
|align=center |  
|align=center | 3&ndash;3 D
|<small> </small>
|<small> {{goal|5||58}} Are Nige<br> {{goal|24}} Goalposting</small>
|-bgcolor=
|-bgcolor=ccffcc
|align=center | 23 June 2019
|align=center | 23 June 2019
|align=center | {{team away|pay}}
|align=center | {{team away|pay}}
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 4]]
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 4]]
|align=center |  
|align=center | 2&ndash;1 W
|<small> </small>
|<small> {{goal|6}} Are Nige<br> {{goal|80}} Karen</small>
|-bgcolor=
|-bgcolor=ffcccc
|align=center | 29 June 2019
|align=center | 29 June 2019
|align=center | {{team away|tcr}}
|align=center | {{team away|tcr}}
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 4]]
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 4]]
|align=center |  
|align=center | 0&ndash;2 L
|<small> </small>
|<small> </small>
|-bgcolor=ccffcc
|align=center | 30 June 2019
|align=center | {{team away|italypol}}
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 4]]
|align=center | 3&ndash;2 W
|<small> {{goal|3||67}} Goalposting<br> {{goal|90+1}} Sargon of Cukkad</small>
|-bgcolor=ccffcc
|align=center | 30 June 2019
|align=center | {{team away|nsg}}
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 4]]
|align=center | 7&ndash;3 W
|<small> {{goal|16||45+1||48||55||68}} Are Nige<br> {{goal|86||89}} Goalposting</small>
|-bgcolor=ffcccc
|align=center | 30 June 2019
|align=center | {{team away|mlpol}}
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 4]]
|align=center | 1&ndash;2 L (a.e.t.)
|<small> {{goal|69}} Are Nige</small>
|-bgcolor=ccffcc
|align=center | 6 June 2020
|align=center | {{team away|tcr}}
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 5]]
|align=center | 3&ndash;2 W
|<small> {{goal|53||80}} Sargon of Cukkad<br> {{goal|63}} Are Nige</small>
|-bgcolor=ffcccc
|align=center | 7 June 2020
|align=center | {{team away|cg}}
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 5]]
|align=center | 3&ndash;4 L
|<small> {{goal|3||41||61}} Are Nige</small>
|-bgcolor=ccffcc
|align=center | 13 June 2020
|align=center | {{team away|sig}}
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 5]]
|align=center | 7&ndash;0 W
|<small> {{goal|4||45+1||58}} Are Nige<br> {{goal|12}} Absolute Madlad<br> {{goal|73}} Paki Rape Gangs<br> {{goal|80||90+4}} Goalposting</small>
|-bgcolor=ccffcc
|align=center | 14 June 2020
|align=center | {{team away|italypol}}
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 5]]
|align=center | 1&ndash;0 W
|<small> {{goal|51}} Are Nige</small>
|-bgcolor=ccffcc
|align=center | 14 June 2020
|align=center | {{team away|tcr}}
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 5]]
|align=center | 3&ndash;0 W
|<small> {{goal|19}} Gypsy King<br> {{goal|34||77}} Absolute Madlad</small>
|-bgcolor=ccffcc
|align=center | 14 June 2020
|align=center | {{team away|leftypol}}
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 5]]
|align=center | 1&ndash;0 W
|<small> {{goal|35}} Paki Rape Gangs</small>
|-bgcolor=ccffcc
|align=center | 9 April 2022
|align=center | {{team away|tcr}}
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 6]]
|align=center | 2&ndash;1 W
|<small> {{goal|28||87}} Goalposting</small>
|-bgcolor=ffcccc
|align=center | 10 April 2022
|align=center | {{team away|balk}}
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 6]]
|align=center | 2&ndash;4 L
|<small> {{goal|14}} Paki Rape Gangs {{goal|73}} Goalposting</small>
|-bgcolor=ccffcc
|align=center | 16 April 2022
|align=center | {{team away|pole}}
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 6]]
|align=center | 4&ndash;0 W
|<small> {{goal|13||53}} Pubs closed, borders open. {{goal|33|79}} Are Nige</small>
|-bgcolor=ccffcc
|align=center | 17 April 2022
|align=center | {{team away|ancap}}
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 6]]
|align=center | 7&ndash;2 W
|<small> {{goal|6|34|73|86}} Goalposting {{goal|10}} Paki Rape Gangs {{goal|15|57}} Are Nige</small>
|-bgcolor=ccffcc
|align=center | 17 April 2022
|align=center | {{team away|esp}}
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 6]]
|align=center | 3&ndash;0 W
|<small> {{goal|10}} Pubs closed, borders open. {{goal|70}} Paki Rape Gangs {{goal|76}} Goalposting</small>
|-bgcolor=ffcccc
|align=center | 17 April 2022
|align=center | {{team away|mlpol}}
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 6]]
|align=center | 1&ndash;1 L (a.e.t.) (1-3 pens)
|<small> {{goal|82}} Goalposting</small>
|-bgcolor=ffcccc
|align=center | 10 June 2023
|align=center | {{team away|sag}}
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 7]]
|align=center | 1&ndash;2 L
|<small> {{goal|77|}} Are' Nige</small>
|-bgcolor=ffffcc
|align=center | 11 June 2023
|align=center | {{team away|happening}}
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 7]]
|align=center | 1&ndash;1 D
|<small> {{goal|62}} Goalposting</small>
|-bgcolor=ccffcc
|align=center | 17 June 2023
|align=center | {{team away|sig}}
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 6]]
|align=center | 2&ndash;4 W
|<small> {{goal|37}} Boat People {{goal|39|49}} Goalposting {{goal|59}} Designated Shitting Country</small>
|-bgcolor=ffcccc
|align=center | 18 June 2023
|align=center | {{team away|tcr}}
|align=center | [[:/pol/eague 7]]
|align=center | 3&ndash;1 L
|<small> {{goal|64}} Goalposting</small>
|}
== Rivalries ==
<div style="display: table; position-align: center;">
{|  class="wikitable" style="width: 31%; margin: 1%; text-align:center; float: left; position: relative;"
| [[file:ptg_logo.png|250px]]<br />
|-
| '''[[/ptg/]] - The 'muh 1776' Derby'''<br/>
While not at Trump rallies or copeposting about 'muh stolen election' /ptg/ often does one thing; remind us about 'muh 1776' and how they owned the British and will do it again. Well, I say we should remind these upstart colonials that it was Britain and the British who first invented the Thirteen Colonies and in turn USA in the first place! Enough about 1776, or we'll make 1812 happen again on the pitch and Make America British Again!.
|-
| style="background:#3B3B6D; color: #FFFFFF" align=center|'''0-1-0'''
|-
{|  class="wikitable" style="width: 31%; margin: 1%; text-align:center; float: left; position: relative;"
| [[file:mlpol_logo.png|250px]]<br />
|-
| '''[[/mlpol/]] - The 'Oh my! Ruination is brought upon ones' day!' Derby'''<br/>
One of the most oft-repeated fixures in the history of the /pol/eague has been the many clashes between britbongs and ponies. Progression has been decided by the outcome, cups have been decided by the outcome, but one clear pattern has emerged - Britain stands alone and your day is only safe from ruin if Britain prevails against the Nazi horsefucker menace.
|-
| style="background:#FFFFFF; color: #CE1126" align=center|'''0-1-4'''
|-
{|  class="wikitable" style="width: 31%; margin: 1%; text-align:center; float: left; position: relative;"
| [[file:auspol_logo.png|250px]]<br />
|-
| '''[[/auspol/]] - The 'fuck off ''WE'RE'' full' Derby'''<br/>
Back in the 18th Century Britain had a serious problem with overflowing jails and too many convicts to keep in this country. So after discovering a rather large island down between the Indian Ocean and the Pacific, we had this great idea of deporting all our troublesome undesirables off there. Unfortunately, this led to the founding of Australia and ever since then, in every sporting fixture, every international dispute and online exchange they've made us regret every last second of founding that cursed land. With the founding of /auspol/, /britpol/ now has its very own version of the Ashes to contend.
|-
| style="background:#2828ab; color: #FFFFFF" align=center|'''0-0-0'''
|}
|}
</div>


===Honours===
<gallery>
File:Poleague_logo3.png|[[/pol/eague 4]]: 2nd Place
File:Poleague_logo3.png|[[/pol/eague 4]]: Are Nige : Golden Boot
File:Poleague_logo3.png|[[/pol/eague 4]]: Karen : Golden Ball
File:Poleague_logo3.png|[[/pol/eague 4]]: Calais Border : Golden Glove
File:Poleague_logo3.png|[[/pol/eague 5]]: 1st Place
File:Poleague_logo3.png|[[/pol/eague 5]]: Team of the Tournament
File:Poleague_logo3.png|[[/pol/eague 5]]: Goalposting : Golden Ball
File:Poleague_logo3.png|[[/pol/eague 5]]: {{tt|Goal of the Tournament|Paki Rape Gangs}}
File:Poleague_logo3.png|[[/pol/eague 5]]: {{tt|/pol/itician's Iron Cross|Calais Border}}
File:Poleague_logo3.png|[[/pol/eague 5]]: {{tt|Best Victory Anthem|IT'S COMING HOME}}
File:Poleague_logo3.png|[[/pol/eague 6]]: 2nd Place
</gallery>


{{Navbox /pol/eague}}
{{Navbox /pol/eague}}

Latest revision as of 19:05, 18 June 2023

/britpol/
God Save the King
Britpol logo.png
/britpol/ - British Politics
Founded June 23rd, 2016
Manager His Majesty Charles the Third, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of His other Realms and Territories, King, Head of the Commonwealth and Defender of the Faith
IRL manager Managerless
Team colors
HEX color 00247c
Royal Blue
Top scorer Are Nige (24)
Top assister Goalposting (13)
Captain Are Nige
Website /britpol/ - British Politics
Nickname britbongs
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY
16 5 13 34 47.06%
GF GA GD
74 59 +15
Biggest win
/sig/ Sig icon.png 0–7 Britpol icon.png /britpol/
13 June 2020
Biggest defeat
/mlpol/ Mlpol icon.png 3–0 Britpol icon.png /britpol/
5 January 2018
First match
/ptg/ Ptg icon.png 2–2 Britpol icon.png /britpol/
8 July 2017
/pol/eague
Appearances 6 (First in /pol/eague 1)
Best result Champions,
/pol/eague 5
Team music
Anthem BBC Grandstand
Victory Anthem Footballs Coming Home
Goal horn Trigger 50 Xurious
Are Nige f a r a g e
(starts at 50s)
Punished Boris B O R I S W A V E
Goalposting first MeatPieSausageRoll
Goalposting 2+ Vindaloo
Kits


'ate /ptg/ mutts

'ate /pole/ polish

'ate /leftypol/ lefties

'ate /mlpol/ horsefuckers


love brexit

love /britpol/

simple as

Roster

No. Position Player
#
  GK
King Chuck's Organic Feed and Seed (Formerly Lizzie's)Captain
#
  LB
The Current Thing
#
  CB
Calais Border
#
  CB
You WILL Not Drive and You WILL Be Happy With It
#
  RB
Suella BLEACHEDerman
#
  DMF
Pubs Bankrupt, Refugees Loaded.
#
  CMF
muh pay, muh inflation, muh cost of living
#
  CMF
Boat People
#
  AMF
Designated Shitting Country
#
  CF
Are Nige
#
  CF
Goalposting
No. Position Player
#
  LB
Londistan
#
  LB
Kier “Literally Who?” Starmer
#
  CB
It's over.
#
  CB
>>>British Police
#
  CB
*blocks your trans rights*
#
  RB
M O G G E D
#
  RB
Enoch Powell Was Right
#
  DMF
*blocks your path*
#
  DMF
A Fucking Lettuce
#
  CMF
Karen
#
  AMF
Paki Rape Gangs
#
  CF
Gypsy King

Goalkeepers

Pos. Name Picture Description
  GK
King Chuck's Feed and Seed (Formerly Lizzie's) God save da 'king!

Defenders

Pos. Name Picture Description
  LB
Three Lions It's 2022 and any sportsball event in this country is still wall-to-wall kneeling and 'muh racism' gestures and videos all because three Ngubus couldn't take a penalty properly last summer and some people said mean things about it.
  CB
Calais Border Keeping the 'refugees' where they belong, in France.
  CB
GET BOOSTED NOW I cannot express how important it is that you GET. BOOSTED. NOW. God knows how many times Boris pushed the latest one-liner from GCHG's psyops division. But really you need to get your 9059372th clot shot booster right now.
  RB
Punished Suella The former Home Secretary who wanted to actually do something about the boat people in the Channel and woke policing but suspiciously ended up resigning on the smallest possible infringement of the rules. I would who could possibly be behind this?
  CB
British >Police Supposedly having a staffing, funding and resourcing crisis but still too busy showing to dance at gay pride events to actually solve any crimes. Doing absolutely nothing to show up or investigate while crime surges out of control and low level crimes become effectively decriminalised.
  CB
Morrissey Not that long ago every cookie cutter journo and Guardian reader used to fall over themselves about how they were lifelong Smiths fans, now they fall over themselves to denounce are' Morrissey as literally just a Hitler who can sing.
  LB
Keir "Hold My Beer While I glass this queer" Starmer Blandest opposition leader anyone has ever seen. Only ever polls well when Boris fucks something up, which is a lot of things these days.
  LB
Londistan le 44% face. Still mayored by Sadiq Khan, pro independent Londonistan and pushed for backdooring Turkey into the EU.
  RB
Enoch Powell was right Everything he said would happen has come true at some point in the last decade or so. Streets have run with rivers of blood from British terror attack victims and the coloured man has made the average Brit kneel before them at (((anti-racism))) protests. Enoch was truly right after all.
  RB
indyref 2 NEVER EVER After a general election which left the SNP in power mainly as a Scottish shitpost against the then MP Gordon Brown, the SNP has lingered despite open Scottish hatred against it and subsequent polls and referendums against leaving the UK. Like an unflushable shit whos only agenda is begging for a second referendum to leave the UK and nothing else.

Midfielders

Pos. Name Picture Description
  LMF
Paki Rape Gangs Muh six gorrilion raped Rotherham teenage girls. Every northern town over a certain size for some reason has a local ring of paki rapists passing the local white teenagers around like currency. But don't you dare ask why or you'll end up behind bars you bloody racist.
  CMF
Karen BA true patriot who always flies the Union flag and shows off her culture while learning new things abroad. Oh and she's a cute animu girl.
  CMF
Pubs bankrupt, refugees loaded. As the energy prices and cost-of-living crisis causes your local pub and thousands of other small businesses to go bust, guess what? Those so called 'refugees' coming flooding over the Channel, well they're getting your hard-earned tax money for comfortable hotel accommodation and generous handouts.
  RMF
A Fucking Lettuce Shortly before Liz Truss resigned after less than two months in office, a tabloid paper asked which would last longer given the choice between Truss and a humble vegetable in her final week. Guess what? The lettuce won.
  DMF
BAMEposting A well-used acronym in the last few years for Black Asian Ethnic Minorty people. You switch on your TV; they're everywhere, you watch the footie; they're everywhere, you look at your government; they're everywhere. Face it, BAMEs are everywhere especially living in /britpol/'s head rent free - and they're crashing this country with no survivors.
  LMF
The Current Thing Friday for climate? 2019 is ancient history mate. Clapping for muh NHS heroes and their Tik Tok dancing? That was so 2020. BLM and kneeling at every footy match? Nah kinda died out in 2021. But guess what fellow NPCs a new Current Thing has dropped! Get ready to fly your Ukrainian flags, post lengthy anti-Russian rants for upvotes and get your social media flag filters ready because 2022 has it's very own Current Thing now!
  CMF
Hearty English Breakfast You can have your fancy Greggs and Costas, but there's nuffin' like a good ol' full English. Rise an' shine with the /britpol/ lads at your local greasy spoon caff'.
  RMF
Crashing this economy... Kwasi Kwarteng, the former Chancellor of the Exchequer and baneposting appreciator who only lasted 38 days but not without leaving an impressive legacy; crashing the Pound, pension funds, government borrowing rates and the mortgage markets with no survivors.
  AMF
>Genuine >Asylum Seekers Thousands of so called 'refugees' have been crossing the Channel in ever growing waves despite the strange lack of most of them having coming from countries that are neighbouring, yet alone even at war. But it doesn't matter if you're from Iran or Albania, jump on a boat in northern France and just hop over the Channel. You'll get a free escort to safety in Britain and an all-expenses paid stay in a comfortable hotel with free food and drink provided! All this while the rest of the country has a cost of living crisis and the native homeless population freezes to death on the streets in record numbers.
  AMF
The Gypsy King The undisputed lineal champion of the world and the Gypsy King himself, Tyson Fury. Too based to be allowed to hold all four championship titles at once so the boxing world's (((authorities))) stripped him of them. Now back and in form again ever since he has been dedicating his time to breaking one overhyped buck after the other.

Strikers

Pos. Name Picture Description
  SS
Are Nige The man, the legend, Mr. Brexit himself, Nigel Farage. The man who made Brexit a reality. He had formerly retired during the election leading to UKIP dying like the passengers of a self damaged refugee ship off Dover, returning triumphantly with no platform or propaganda just creating the Brexit party out of the ashes of UKIP entirely on the merits of Brexit means Brexit. The dream achieved, he contents himself with shitposting on Cameo for the right pricetag.
  CF
Goalposting Noice goal m8 me ol'man used to be a builder Ol 'Woz he woz aye, maybe i cud get ' lads togeva mekk u sum new unns proper shiney loik. Oh oh its nat yoire goal iz it naa y'just fukkin borrowing it arennnt ya are ya you cheeki fukkin cunt just standing in front of it like. Git off that fucking goal then ya slag u think yooos can tekk me yous wanna have a go douz ya, douz YA. I waz fighting before you were fukkin born i waz fighting before I waz fukkin born inside me dads bollocks probably makkin theez fukking goalposts youz standing in front of riet now. Aww how many times you thinkk haz Ngubu haz scored in these nets. Fucking love Ngubu me, got him tattoed on me back even though he transferred straight after to FUKKIN SOUF i still love him me. Score some goals you mad bastard ye. Oh yuh still ere, gonna tri an blokk me shot are ya yure a bloodeh legend you jumpy little bastard yoos fukking champion.

Match History

Date Opponent Competition Result Scorers
8 July 2017 Ptg icon.png /ptg/ /pol/eague 1 2–2 D Goal 3', 38' 40 yr old School Child
8 July 2017 Eire icon.png /eire/ /pol/eague 1 1–3 L Goal 82' Based Nige
9 July 2017 Sg icon.png /sg/ /pol/eague 1 1–1 D Goal 21' Based Nige
5 January 2018 Mlpol icon.png /mlpol/ /pol/eague 2 0–3 L
6 January 2018 Balk icon.png /balk/ /pol/eague 2 1–1 D Goal 66' "we know who really won"
6 January 2018 Fsg icon.png /fsg/ /pol/eague 2 3–2 W Goal 17', 38' Based Nige
Goal 80' Mummy May
7 January 2018 Cg icon.png /cg/ /pol/eague 2 2–1 W Goal 28' Mummy May
Goal 73' Based Nige
7 January 2018 Sg icon.png /sg/ /pol/eague 2 0–3 L
7 January 2018 Mlpol icon.png /mlpol/ /pol/eague 2 2–4 L Goal 28' Mummy May
Goal 59' Based Nige
21 September 2018 Italypol icon.png /italypol/ /pol/eague 3 0–2 L
21 September 2018 Lrg icon.png /lrg/ /pol/eague 3 0–1 L
22 September 2018 Sng icon.png /sng/ /pol/eague 3 2–1 W Goal 11' MOGGMENTUM
Goal 85' Goalposting
22 June 2019 Mlpol icon.png /mlpol/ /pol/eague 4 3–3 D Goal 5', 58' Are Nige
Goal 24' Goalposting
23 June 2019 Pay icon.png /pay/ /pol/eague 4 2–1 W Goal 6' Are Nige
Goal 80' Karen
29 June 2019 Tcr icon.png /tcr/ /pol/eague 4 0–2 L
30 June 2019 Italypol icon.png /italypol/ /pol/eague 4 3–2 W Goal 3', 67' Goalposting
Goal 90+1' Sargon of Cukkad
30 June 2019 Nsg icon.png /nsg/ /pol/eague 4 7–3 W Goal 16', 45+1', 48', 55', 68' Are Nige
Goal 86', 89' Goalposting
30 June 2019 Mlpol icon.png /mlpol/ /pol/eague 4 1–2 L (a.e.t.) Goal 69' Are Nige
6 June 2020 Tcr icon.png /tcr/ /pol/eague 5 3–2 W Goal 53', 80' Sargon of Cukkad
Goal 63' Are Nige
7 June 2020 Cg icon.png /cg/ /pol/eague 5 3–4 L Goal 3', 41', 61' Are Nige
13 June 2020 Sig icon.png /sig/ /pol/eague 5 7–0 W Goal 4', 45+1', 58' Are Nige
Goal 12' Absolute Madlad
Goal 73' Paki Rape Gangs
Goal 80', 90+4' Goalposting
14 June 2020 Italypol icon.png /italypol/ /pol/eague 5 1–0 W Goal 51' Are Nige
14 June 2020 Tcr icon.png /tcr/ /pol/eague 5 3–0 W Goal 19' Gypsy King
Goal 34', 77' Absolute Madlad
14 June 2020 Leftypol icon.png /leftypol/ /pol/eague 5 1–0 W Goal 35' Paki Rape Gangs
9 April 2022 Tcr icon.png /tcr/ /pol/eague 6 2–1 W Goal 28', 87' Goalposting
10 April 2022 Balk icon.png /balk/ /pol/eague 6 2–4 L Goal 14' Paki Rape Gangs Goal 73' Goalposting
16 April 2022 Pole icon.png /pole/ /pol/eague 6 4–0 W Goal 13', 53' Pubs closed, borders open. Goal 33' (79) Are Nige
17 April 2022 Ancap icon.png /ancap/ /pol/eague 6 7–2 W Goal 6' (34), 73' (86) Goalposting Goal 10' Paki Rape Gangs Goal 15' (57) Are Nige
17 April 2022 Esp icon.png /esp/ /pol/eague 6 3–0 W Goal 10' Pubs closed, borders open. Goal 70' Paki Rape Gangs Goal 76' Goalposting
17 April 2022 Mlpol icon.png /mlpol/ /pol/eague 6 1–1 L (a.e.t.) (1-3 pens) Goal 82' Goalposting
10 June 2023 Sag icon.png /sag/ /pol/eague 7 1–2 L Goal 77' Are' Nige
11 June 2023 Happening icon.png /happening/ /pol/eague 7 1–1 D Goal 62' Goalposting
17 June 2023 Sig icon.png /sig/ /pol/eague 6 2–4 W Goal 37' Boat People Goal 39' (49) Goalposting Goal 59' Designated Shitting Country
18 June 2023 Tcr icon.png /tcr/ /pol/eague 7 3–1 L Goal 64' Goalposting

Rivalries

Ptg logo.png
/ptg/ - The 'muh 1776' Derby

While not at Trump rallies or copeposting about 'muh stolen election' /ptg/ often does one thing; remind us about 'muh 1776' and how they owned the British and will do it again. Well, I say we should remind these upstart colonials that it was Britain and the British who first invented the Thirteen Colonies and in turn USA in the first place! Enough about 1776, or we'll make 1812 happen again on the pitch and Make America British Again!.

0-1-0
Mlpol logo.png
/mlpol/ - The 'Oh my! Ruination is brought upon ones' day!' Derby

One of the most oft-repeated fixures in the history of the /pol/eague has been the many clashes between britbongs and ponies. Progression has been decided by the outcome, cups have been decided by the outcome, but one clear pattern has emerged - Britain stands alone and your day is only safe from ruin if Britain prevails against the Nazi horsefucker menace.

0-1-4
Auspol logo.png
/auspol/ - The 'fuck off WE'RE full' Derby

Back in the 18th Century Britain had a serious problem with overflowing jails and too many convicts to keep in this country. So after discovering a rather large island down between the Indian Ocean and the Pacific, we had this great idea of deporting all our troublesome undesirables off there. Unfortunately, this led to the founding of Australia and ever since then, in every sporting fixture, every international dispute and online exchange they've made us regret every last second of founding that cursed land. With the founding of /auspol/, /britpol/ now has its very own version of the Ashes to contend.

0-0-0

Honours

v • d • e
/pol/eague
Teams
Auspol icon.png /auspol/  •  Balk icon.png /balk/  •  Britpol icon.png /britpol/  •  Cg icon.png /cg/  •  Esp icon.png /esp/  •  Fsg icon.png /fsg/  •  Happening icon.png /happening/  •  Italypol icon.png /italypol/  •  Krautpol icon.png /krautpol/  •  Leftypol icon.png /leftypol/  •  Mlpol icon.png /mlpol/  •  Nsg icon.png /nsg/  •  Pole icon.png /pole/  •  Ptg icon.png /ptg/  •  Sag icon.png /sag/  •  Shill icon.png /shill/  • Sig icon.png /sig/  •  Tcr icon.png /tcr/
Tournaments
Statistics
Rosters
Legacy Teams
Cvg icon.png /cvg/ • Eire icon.png /eire/ • Lrg icon.png /lrg/ & Ancap icon.png /ancap/ • Pay icon.png /pay/ • Polder icon.png /polder/ • Sg icon.png /sg/ • Sng icon.png /sng/
Other
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