/trv/ Roster

Sub

Starter

Silver

Gold

GK
N°	Name	Picture	Description	Height (cm)	Weight (kg)	Footedness	Playing Style	Cards
1	Darién Gap		The legend from Panama, an impassable expanse despite efforts to penetrate him since 1971. "The Gap's closed!"	199	105	Left	Defensive Goalkeeper	—
12	Noobius Expedia		Rarely used, except by idiots. His wicked, if unintended, Free Kick against /sci/ earned Noobius a place in the 2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup All-Stars squad, and a stint as Player of the Week.	170	105	Right	Defensive Goalkeeper	—
23	Light Packer		He may only have brought two shirts and one pair of socks to last him the entire tournament, but at least he didn't have to pay for extra baggage.	175	104	Right	Defensive Goalkeeper	—

CB
N°	Name	Picture	Description	Height (cm)	Weight (kg)	Footedness	Playing Style	Cards
3	Nigel Roppongi		No one is quite able to say how long this Nigerian-born player has been in the Japanese leagues, but he speaks fluent Japanese and is said to have had a few Japanese wives. When not making white tourists in Japan feel inadequate and uncomfortable, he is forcefully daring his opponents to even try to enter his space.	189	87	Left	The Instigator	—
4	Itsa Slowboard		Slow and steady wins the race, don't forget the sagely pace. Slowboard is known to frequently quibble with refs and other visiting teams' players who don't appreciate his patient methodical style. Did you even read the sticky? Earned a place in the 2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup All-Stars squad in recogniton of /trv/ only conceding a single goal in the group stage, then a joint Cup record, under his watch.	187	88	Right	—	—
5	James "Hopper" Vagabond		Though he lost a finger to a boxcar jump gone wrong, James has played short hauls in teams across Canada, USA, Mexico, Mongolia, Siberia and Australia. When the whistle blows, the Hopper is already ducking and unseen by conductors and refs alike.	187	82	Left	The Instigator	—
14	Billy "Bali" Bogan		An Australian national hero. When not surfing or buying out entire tiny island shops of all their beer, Bogan loves to hang around with all 30 of his like-minded mates, get new tribal tattoos, style his mullet, and start fights. But don't think that means you should underestimate him on the field, ya cunts.	180	111	Right	—	—

LB
N°	Name	Picture	Description	Height (cm)	Weight (kg)	Footedness	Playing Style	Cards
2	Boris Transsiberyan		From Moscow to Vladivostok, Ulaanbaatar to Pyongyang, Boris has the tenacity and drive to score from a long distance, if he's not too drunk from all the vodka he freely shares. Also local chair of the players' union.	180	100	Far Left	Defensive Full-Back	—
15	Dougie Canuckflag		Born in a small hamlet on the border with Saskatchewan and North Dakota, Dougie is rumoured to nonetheless be American by passport, but is seldom seen without a Canadian flag patched on his luggage and frequent declarations of how much he loves the Queen, maple syrup and ice hockey. Just in case. However, there is no mystery to the quiet ferocity with which he plays.	187	80	Left	Defensive Full-Back	—

RB
N°	Name	Picture	Description	Height (cm)	Weight (kg)	Footedness	Playing Style	Cards
8	VICEguy		A "journalist" in his day-job, Shane Smith has seen it all: from the sex dens and dictatorships of the Far East to the bloody civil wars of post-colonial Africa. Expect to be similarly mesmerised by his skills on the football pitch.	180	80	Right	Defensive Full-Back	—
16	Sickof Murrica		From the plains of Nebraska, Murrica is a down-home corn-fed country boy. And he can be found anywhere that is not the damnable USA. When not contemplating the merits of Tibetan Buddhism, Scandinavian social welfare or New Zealand immigration details, he can be found at the nearest Starbucks or McDonalds, planning his next great move in the World's sport that none of his stupid countrymen understand.	180	75	Left	Defensive Full-Back	—

DMF
N°	Name	Picture	Description	Height (cm)	Weight (kg)	Footedness	Playing Style	Cards
42	Amsterdam Stonerbro		Loves to frequent "coffeeshops" when not hashing his opponents. He will constantly ask you which is the best to visit, as if he had forgotten he just asked the day before. Don't let the glazed expression and shaggy hair fool you, he is one of the Dutch fields finest buds, with eyes only for the green!	185	85	Left	The Destroyer	—
17	Neckbeard Teefle		Teefle has spent years in the Asian leagues, teaching young Koreans, Chinese, Vietnamese and Japanese how to pass a ball and chant the most offensive football songs in English. While his teaching credentials may be questionable, his skills on the field are no joke. Teefle is notable for advocating chastity, though he insists he could have any woman he wants, as "lusty thoughts detract from thrusty shots".	180	102	Right	The Destroyer	—
18	Squat Toilet		The bane of many-a-visitor to parts of the world with a non-Western bathroom culture, opponents of Squat Toilet will no doubt find him difficult to avoid, confusing and even terrifying.	165	105	Left	Anchor Man	—

CMF
N°	Name	Picture	Description	Height (cm)	Weight (kg)	Footedness	Playing Style	Cards
6	Karl Pilkington		One of Britain's finest talents, and one of the team's most loved and bemused members. Known to shake opponents out of their comfort zone, and get abroad of even the trickiest challenges. Many have taken him for a simple fool, but Karl always gets the last laugh on the football pitch.	190	86	Right	Box-To-Box	P06 S10 S11
9	Luke Skyscanner		All in the blink of an eye, Skyscanner never makes a move without first scrutinizing all possible ways to get to the goal in the most effective quickest manner, even if it means foregoing a direct shot by himself, as he is always keen to assist his fellow travellers.	180	80	Right	Box-To-Box	S10
19	Sven Scandiboo		"Did you guys know Norway is one of the most developed, least religious nations on earth? Isn't that awesome?" The only thing Sven cherishes more than fermented fish and his absence of any social skills or warmth, is his equitable sharing of the ball and sense of justice and fair play.	180	86	Right	Box-To-Box	S10
20	Desperate Weeaboo		Only has $600 to his name and five days free in April, but goddamn he will dream of his true homeland and ignore anyone who questions his rationale. Known as Grorious "Nip" Nippon until a mix-up with the /int/ player of the same name lead to events only described by the team's coaching staff as "regrettable" and "diplomatically testing".	175	88	Right	Box-To-Box	S10

AMF
N°	Name	Picture	Description	Height (cm)	Weight (kg)	Footedness	Playing Style	Cards
7	Superpornowat Farangbang		Flexible in all meanings of the word, whether vaulting over stiff opposition or penetrating through tight holes. Some rumours say this Thai hero might be a woman, and is actually a foreigner. But with the face of an angel, and composition rigid as an iron rod, balls rarely pass Farangbang without a sweaty story to tell. A frequent companion to /trv/ star player Sex Tourist both on and off the pitch.	194	80	Right	Box-To-Box	P03 P07 S06 S10 S19
11	Real Traveller		Always keen to clarify he is "a traveller, not a tourist", Real Traveller sees himself above plebeian package holidays or cruises. His disdain for commercial tourism stretches so far he even made his own way to the 2014 4chan Winter Cup, rather than using the more mainstream team bus.	175	105	Right	Classic N°10	S10
21	Gapyah Backpacker		One of the younger members of the team, fresh from his trip to Burma where he stayed at an intensive 12-week jungle training camp, funded by his parents and the Myanamar correctional services. He is untested for tournaments, but his father is a corporate team sponsor. Gapyah plans to become a barrister or a Tory politician once he completes his studies at Oxford. Known for his subtle yet biting remarks on the field to opponents of middle-class origins, naturally he ignores working-class peasants.	170	82	Right	Dummy Runner	P06 S12

CF
N°	Name	Picture	Description	Height (cm)	Weight (kg)	Footedness	Playing Style	Cards
69	Sex Tourist		/trv/'s star man and top scorer returns to his homeland after several seasons in the Thai leagues. A shifty player, one of /trv/'s most requested for interviews, good around the box and at poking it into tight spaces.	187	81	Left	Fox In The Box	P02 S08 S09
10	Couchsurfer Rapist		Brought into the team for the 2013 4chan Spring Babby Cup, after impressing with his thrust and determination. Team practice has shown he will pounce at the tiniest glimmer of vulnerability, and leave any opposing defence spread wide open and feeling particularly violated.	205	78	Right	Target Man	P07 S06 S08 S09