/toy/ Roster

For the main article, visit /toy/

Roster

/toy/'s roster has varied a lot since it's inception. The Club is constantly hunting for new players in Walmarts and Targets in the US and other toy shops around the world. They never miss a preorder on AmiAmi, or a sale on Mandarake. /toy/ likes to rotate players on and off the giant shelf that is the Football Pitch.

Starters

/toy/'s most popular players. It includes mainstays such as Woody, Madoka Titus and Optimus Prime. However there are always promotions and demotions on the /toy/ squad so be on the lookout for new faces.

Left to Right:

Top Row: Nubs Destiny, Danbo, Orange Transparent Chainsaw, Ham Hands, Kinder Eggs, Headdie Brock
Bottom Row: Skeleton Army, Madoka Titus, Woody, Shelfwarmer, Optimus Prime

Name	Number	Position	Image	In Game	Description
Ham Hands	10	GK			Ham*Hand Fister, or Hamhands, has the tendency to break everything she touches. Fine China, Cement Bricks, Expensive collectables, everything withers against her brutal assault. Some call Hamhands clumsy, however they are mistaken, she merely cannot control her own Strength.
Nubs Destiny	5	LB			A young player, Nubs Destiny has recently moved up from /toy/'s burgeoning Gunpla farm club. While he shows promise he still needs the veteran refinement only time spent assembling and painting models over a years can give a player. Hopefully, he'll step up and trim his nubs one day, but for now his natural talent has found him a place on /toy/.
Shelfwarmer	71	CB			As the oldest member of /toy/, Shelfwarmer brings a veteran presence to the team. He has seen younger, sexier players come and go, but he still has his peg on the bench. One day he hopes to move out of the /toy/ practice facility, but no one wants to take him home.
Kinder Eggs	82	CB			Surprise Mother Fucker it's Kinder Eggs! A known felon and terrorist, the United states authorities are under instructions to capture and imprison Kinder Eggs on sight.
Brick Built Tahu	15	RB			UMMMMM BIONIKEKS???? WHAT IS THIS?????? Revealed has part of LEGO's 90 Years of Play set, this little guy was initially met with despair and terror among Bionicle fans as they realized THIS is what LEGO thought of their franchise. After the initial shock, he quickly worked his way into everyone's hearts cementing his part in Bionicle history as earning his spot on /toy/.
Skeleton Army	20	DMF			The Skeleton Army is here to bring a bit of spookiness to /toy/. Their antics on the pitch bring a smile to fans everywhere, even if it mostly consists of tripping over each other running after the ball. In fact, they aren't scary at all, they are downright adorable.
Headdie Brock	34	CMF			HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THE SIZE OF HIS FUCKING HEAD!
Orange Transparent Chainsaw	59	AMF			Hailing from a distant frozen world, Orange Transparent Chainsaw came to our planet with a message of peace and prosperity. However, his mission was aborted as it was found that sawing things in half does not conform to any known definition of peace on any world outside of the Ice Planet system.
Optimus Prime Captain	86	SS			Optimus Prime is known across the world as a generous and caring leader. His fight for the freedom of the Autobots and humankind against the evil Decepticons is legendary. He has turned to football, the world's game, as a way of spreading his message further among the people.
Madoka Titus	11	SS			Madoka Titus is a terrible abomination. Forged from unsuspecting shelfwarmers, Japan has created the perfect combination of cuteness and robotic desire for human death. She is an unstoppable force and not to be trifled with. The only living thing she feels any sort of symapthy towards is her pet Homuhomu, which is rumored to have a mecha-musume form of its own. Being meguca truly is suffering.
Woody	95	CF			Woody is well known in the west from the popular Toy Story movies. However his on screen persona has been recently marred by accusations of statutory rape, sodomy, and other sexual deviance while traveling abroad. /toy/'s manager's seem to feel that what happens in Thailand stays in Thailand.

Bench

These players are an integral part of /toy/'s success. They may not be starters, but players such as Rapedog and You knoe who have been able to set up and contribute when called upon.

Name	Number	Position	Image	In Game	Description
Detolf Shelves	64	GK			Bringing a touch of class to the /toy/ team, Detolf is known for keeping himself neat and presentable. He keeps the dust out and with proper lighting, shows off his goods for everyone to see. He is always found after matches organizing the /toy/ locker room, keeping everything in its place. Managers have commented "Since he has joined the team, things are much less of a clusterfuck around here."
Cobra Commander	3	LB			No one is entirely sure as to why Cobra Commander joined the team, but he said something about furthering his goals of world domination. We're not sure how playing football will achieve that but we're willing to watch him try. COBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Failed HasLab	58	LB		File:FailedHasLab1.png	Poor Ghost Rider couldn't find the funding to make it into the toy world, but thankfully he hit the goal to get him on the /toy/ pitch. Fueled by vengeance, the Failed HasLab takes no prisoners on the football pitch.
Drossel	19	CB			Drossel von Flügel is a bratty gynoid duchess. Nobody really knows why she joined the team, although she said something about "exploring human culture." She may be a spoiled brat, but her changes of head modules (allowing for flight and nimble kicks) ensure that the rest of the team grins and bears her eccentricities.
Mechagodzilla	4	CB			Godzilla's robotic counterpart. He comes equipped with rockets, lasers, a force field, more rockets and more lasers. Unfortunately he can't use any of that jazzy stuff on the football pitch, but being a giant fucking mechanical dinosaur is good enough. Best not piss him off or he'll probably just blow up the whole stadium.
Classic Spaceman	61	CB		File:ClassicSpaceMan1.png	This minifig has seen it all. From distant planets, to far off galaxies, you name it. Don't let his blank stare and innocent smile fool you, for behind those eyes is a true veteran of the LEGO building world. Able to craft a spaceship out of any spare bricks lying around, The Spaceman brings a truly creative touch to the team. If there's one thing /toy/ knows, it's that you can't beat the classics.
Do This Pose!	66	RB			A time honored tradition on /toy/. OP picks a pose for other /toy/soldiers to copy with their own figures. Simple Enough. Everyone knows the mark of a good toy is it's articulation how well it can replicate iconic poses. Represented by the king of poses Captain Ginyu, Do This Pose has finally arrived to bring some style and flair to the pitch.
You knoe who?	58	RB			A question as old as time itself, "you knoe who needs a 'insert toyline here'?" has plagued mankind through out the ages. Philosphers and Scientists alike have tried to answer it, and only been frustrated by their own stupidity. Yet, /toy/ stands ready, with the one true answer. /toy/ knoes. Oh yes. /toy/ knoes.
Danbo	7	LMF			Danbo is a more defensive midfielder. He rarely speaks, and when he does it's usually through pictures. I don't even know what this thing is. Hipsters love taking photos of him looking sad in the rain, though.
My Nugga	39	DMF			Shiiiiiiiiiit Nugga, you know we be down. Runnin a train on some bitch ass football hoes like we's Kobe at da olympics. When da shits goin down in da hood, you need to call dis Nugga rite er, he set yo shit straight.
Rapedog	13	DMF			Rapedog is Woody's loyal pet and companion. They train together, run together, live together, work together and rape together. Rapedog is fast, however his general strategy is to wear opponents down before tackling them and injecting them with hot plastic love.
Psycho Miku	37	CB		File:PsychoMiku1.png	A custom Hatsune Miku doll who found her way into /toy/'s locker room. She was given a uniform and thrown onto the pitch after management realized her intimidating presence might prove useful. Other players are a little creeped out by her, but some (namely Woody) are kinda turned on by her.

Retired Players

These players had their time on the /toy/shelf, however as interest waned they started collecting dust. /toy/ management has carefully packaged each of them in bubblewrap, and placed them gently in storage containers for the rest of eternity, as is only proper for fallen heroes.

Top Row: Prof. Layton, Madoka Titus, Optimus Prime, Hamhands, Destro, Ghoulia
Bottom Row: Nobel Gunpla, Matty, Woody, China Bootleg, Screwholes

Name	Position	Image	In Game	Description
Space Ghost	LB			Tad Ghostal was a well known name around /toy/, known for posting pictures of his toys going on grand adventures and encouraging /toy/soldiers to do the same. After his untimely passing, his mission is carried on by his wife and other anons who post pictures of their toys in tribute. Space Ghost is here to represent the fallen /toy/soldier on the football pitch.
African Bugman	DMF			The Bugman is a strange one, always ready to dispense justice on the field and the streets. His claws are a force second only to his mighty kicks.
Vinyl Meerkats	CB			Legend has it, in 2010 /toy/ found a glitch in the Toys"R"us website where what was meant to be free shipping on orders more than $20, was set as everything free EXCEPT shipping. Quickly the /toy/soldiers began filling their carts with various toys, making off like bandits in the night. One of the cheapest toys on the site was the Vinyl Meerkat, which many anons nabbed as a sort of trophy. The error was quickly fixed but Toys"R"us surprisingly honored the purchases and the day was marked in the /toy/ history books. In threads reminiscing about the past, it is said you aren't a real oldfag unless you still have your Vinyl Meerkat.
Kopaka	LMF			Kopaka came all the way from the snowy areas of Mata Nui to join /toy/ on the pitch. He borrowed some spare parts from his fellow Bionicle brothers to allow him to change his appearance and keep opposition on their toes. He's also got some kick ass skis.
April O'Noggin	CB			HOLY SHIT NECA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING? LOOK AT THE SIZE OF HER GODDAMN HEAD!! *ahem* Here to represent the absolute state of >NECA I present to you April O' Noggin. Hopefully her reputation doesn't go straight to her head. BUH DUM TSSS. She is also rumored to be in an on and off relationship with other large cranium toy Headdie Brock.
Jet Jaguar	DMF			No that's not an Ultraman knockoff, that's Jet Jaguar! Recruited to /toy/ after their tag team adventures with /m/, everyone's favorite size changing robot has finally made it to the official team. Never one to back down from a fight, he's ready to PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH the competition.
Display Only Char	CB			Who would want to buy a figure of a Gundam pilot anyways? Well it turns out a lot of people would actually. This teased Char figuarts has become the poster child for toys that were shown off, but never released. Thus he remains in "Display Only" limbo.
Shamrock	DMF			Shamrock has a dick. Just gonna get that out of the way so you don't do something you'll regret. Recruited to the team by good friend Drossel, Shamrock's ability to fool opposition makes him a valued addition to the team. After a brief hiatus from the team, he has finally returned to the pitch with some new poseability and [slightly] better quality assurance. Thanks Daibadi.
>webshop exclusive	RMF			What does webshop exclusive mean? Well in short, it means if you want that toy you're gonna be paying A LOT of money for it. Did you miss the preorder window? That's a damn fucking shame! Unfortunately for Toku collectors, just about everything is webshop exclusive these days. That'll be $200 plus shipping, thanks.
Sarge	LMF			Sarge is a true veteran of the /toy/ world. Hailing from that big bag of green army men you had as a kid, Sarge joins /toy/ on the battlefield that is the football pitch. He might be a bit stiff when compared to other players, but his experience makes him a valued /toy/soldier.
Red Motor	DMF			Magic Henshin is an original IP toyline full of short stack robot girls who can combine into different vehicles. Despite having their release constantly delayed, the characters have generated a ton of buzz and fanart in the toy world. They can also combine into a giant robot with tits, so that's pretty fucking rad. Red Motor, otherwise know as Scarlet Sonic has come to represent this up and coming new line of characters.
Minase Shizue	CB			The appointed mascot of /toy/'s very own /ctg/ - Coomer toy General, Minase Shizue's lewd proportions and ahegao alternate face has made her very popular with /toy/'s more perverted users. She is sometimes accompanied by a goat. You just know.
My Uncle Drank My Pepsi	CB		File:Unclepepsi1.png	The tragic story of anon and his idiot uncle who drank all of anon's pepsi. In retaliation, anon decided to try and sell his uncles G.I. Joes. Hilarity ensued and a legend was born.
Sense of Right Alliance	DMF		File:SenseofRight1.png	Ah yes, The Sense of Right Alliance. The awesome formation of all your favorite heroes to deliver cheap plastic justice on the pitch. You've got Superman, Spider-Man, Lightning McQueen...Shrek...? Wait something seems off here.
Saber Miku	CB			Figma Release Schedule for 202X: Miku Hatsune Ver 13, Saber Ver 15, Celebration Miku Ver 3, Dance Party Saber ver 5, Hatoful Boyfriend Miku, Top Hat Saber, Saber, Miku, Miku, Saber Saber Saber, Hatsune Saber, Saber Miku.
D10	LB			D10 is the total package. He's a robot dinosaur, who can transform into a box. Plus he's cute! What's not to love?
Gourai	CMF			Gourai is a mech/anime girl hybrid who is equipped with a whole arsenal of weapons designed to fuck your shit right up. /toy/ management has been slowly teaching her that blowing up your opponents is very much against the rules of football, but with a face that cute it's hard to tell her to stop. One thing is for sure about Gourai, and that is that she is a FAG at heart.
Skydiving Mikasa	LB			Clearly Mikasa will go sailing no more. It was a nice pic though.
Judy Hopps	RB			"I wanna fuck that rabbit" -Woody
Matty	CMF			Matty is a dick. He fucking hates you and everything you love. Voltron? Fuck you. He-man? Eat a dick. Ghostbusters? Get Fucked. DC Universe? What a faggot. Matty does not give a shit about you or your family, and will kick you in the balls to watch you cry. He has a very aggressive play style and constantly taunts opposing players and teammates.
Space Godzilla	LB			GODZILLA FROM SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE
Gummy	GK			Gummy is made of old bubble gum and pipe cleaners. Many years ago Gummy was sealed away for his power and stench were too strong. Now he has been reawakened and freed from his plastic bag prison to play football. Did I mention he has a fish oil capsule for a heart? He is a true /toy/ abomination.
BASED KOTO	RB			SHINKIS ARE NO LONGER DED THANK YOU BASED KOTO!
Pizza Spidey	CMF			On the pitch, Spidey delivers passes and assists straight to the front line. Off the pitch, he is known to partake in a bit of sexual deviance alongside good friend Woody, but so long as he keeps buying /toy/ management pizza we're willing to turn a blind eye and let it slide.
Prof. Layton	CMF			Layton is one of the more dapper members of the /toy/ squad. Always wearing his trademark tophat, he is ready at a moment's notice when another player gets into trouble. His math skills are also never to be questioned.
Ded Line	RB			Fuck you Konami. I just want more shinkis.
Donkey Kong	GK			Donkey Kong asks for one thing and one thing only. To be payed in bananas for every shot he saves. He big ass grin alone causes the other team's attacks to come to a halt.
Cactus Owl	CB			Cactus Owl is a horrible beast, somewhere between a cactus and an owl. He was sealed away in a vending machine for being a freak of nature, and is only let out to play football.
Screwholes	CB			Pomock is da kawaiiest shinki ever. Look at her, look. What's she doing? Playing in a field? Pickin some flowers? Eating a Cake? Getting Raped by a crocodile? DAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW
The World	CB			"Jojo's is like Fist of the North Star only FABULOUS" - Anon. Those hearts on his crouch means he loves you. No Homo.
Thew Adams	GK			Thew is not just your ordinary toy reviewer. He is a crazy British dude with over a hundred reviews of Transformers, old, new, and even fake that is sure to find a Transformer to strike your fancy every once in awhile.
Customs Agent	GK			Another government employee, Custom's Agent is the nameless, faceless hands of the Italian government who pick through packages from other countries taking the best items for himself. Through a combination of theft and bribery Custom's Agent wormed his way onto the team. He hopes to bring Madoka back to his Villa in Genoa. It didn't take him long to get caught and be retired.
Clusterfuck	GK			Dusty Clusterfuck has been on /toy/'s radar for a long time. He has been seen at many /toy/ practices, collecting every ball in his area, and leaving a thin film of dust on every bench he touches. While they have been interested in him as a player, his personal grooming habits have always been a point of contention. Clusterfuck has promised /toy/ management that he will clean up his act. After a while of service, Clusterfuck collected too much dust and is in storage in an old Detolf Shelf.
Abuse	GK			Take off your skirt and I'll give you upsies.
Pomock	CB			Pomock is da kawaiiest shinki ever. Look at her, look. What's she doing? Playing in a field? Pickin some flowers? Eating a Cake? Getting Raped by a crocodile? DAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW
THATFUCKINGPART	CB			Where did it go? I need it to put this together, mother fuck where is it? It's gone forever, friend. It is THATFUCKINGPART. One day, years from now, you'll be walking barefoot through your room, and you'll accidentally find it lodged into your heel.
80's Nostalgia	CB			Dude, do you remember that show from when we were kids? With the Ninjas and Lasers and Dinosaurs and shit? That show was fucking awesome. Way better then anything on TV today.
Destro	CB			Born to long line of Scottish Aristocrats, Destro had money and power spoon fed to him, however he always craved more. After a long history of being accused of associating with the terrorist organization Cobra, Destro turned to Football to rehabilitate his public image. His Iron Headed Defense has earned acclaim and respect from many experts, however his aim when shooting leaves much to be desired.
Dull Surprise	CB			In the future there is only war. We have seen it's grim face, and it is one of mild shock, and squinting. Dull Surprise works well with his mecha teammates and can also be found wearing a gasmask to help his breathing.
Ghoulia	CB			A teenage Zombie in her prime, Ghoulia is a strong defensive force for /toy/. Sometimes she has problems with her limbs falling off, but her good friend Screw Holes is always there to put her back together again.
Hipster Vinyl	CB			Hipster Vinyl keeps to himself, rarely doing interviews or press events. He is constantly updating his wardrobe and musical collection, preferring to be on the cutting edge of style. Some members of the team have suggested trading him to /mu/, but most just ignore him.
Nobel Gunpla	DMF			As a Gundam built in he image of a Magical School girl, Nobel has been at odds with Madoka Titus, a magical girl built in the image of a Gundam, since her addition to the team. However, once the initial jealousy period was over, they became fast friends. They enjoy dancing, picnics, and dropping colonies on unsuspecting planets together.
Blindpack	CMF			Not much is known about Blindpack Minifig. He communicates only through Danish interpreters and rarely does interviews. People are constantly searching for evidence of his past, but reports always seem conflicting. Some say he was a race car driver, others a Viking, or a robot or a zombie. Sometimes his hat is the only give away.
Merman	LMF			Born in the swamps of Eternia, Merman came to Earth during a failed attempt at global domination by Skeletor, who simply forgot Merman existed and left him behind. Merman may not understand much of anything, he barely speaks English, but he does enjoy swimming up and down the sidelines of the football pitch.
Takoluca	RMF			The cutest cephalopod to ever creep out of Japan. One day she just showed up at the field, squeeking loudly. Rather than feed and house her, /toy/'s chinese management put her in a uniform and sent her out. No one knows why, all she does is stick in a spot and get hit in the head with the ball.
Cattleya	CF			DAMN. I SAID GOD DAMN LOOK AT DEM TITTIES
Domon Kasshu	CF			Domon Kasshu is a player who may or may not be a special snowflake. However, his amazing flexibility and steady footing ensures that his teammates will put up with him wailing "MERGHY CRABMAS" in the middle of the summer.