/jp/ Roster

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Roster

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Starter

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Gold

Goalkeepers

Pos.	Name	Picture	Description
GK	Captain Meido		The trusty /jp/ meido is always there to keep crossboarders and shitposters at bay, so who better than her to stop the opponents attempts on the goal? -Original model by yas

Defenders

Pos.	Name	Picture	Description
CB	Fumos		A brand of Touhou plushies that are popular on /jp/ due to their cuteness, their wide variety of characters and for being generally affordable.
CB	Beato		*cackles*
CB	Dekinai-chan		You can't learn Japanese. You don't even know how to score a goal.
CB	Japanese Bird		A budgie with a passion for cooking. His favorite dish to make is pasta, be it spaghetti or penne rigate. He and his other bird friends are protected /jp/ heritage.
CB	Ohayou		Being the embodiment of mountain echoes, Kyouko Kasodani acts as the self-appointed Gensokyo alarm clock. Every day at 6 A.M she flies to the top of the Youkai Mountain and lets out an OHAYOU that wakes up everyone on Gensokyo. Despite earning the eternal hate of the lazier Gensokyans like this, she is very commited to this endeavor.
CB	(´・ω・｀)		An emoticon that became (in)famous after it was used frequently in the 2ch story of Denko, where a lonely guy tries to get a girlfriend and fails spectacularly. NOTE TO COMMENTATORS: It's pronounced shobon.
CB	Corndog Tenshi		Corndog Tenshi hails from historic Route 66 (or at least that's where we always find her). Her love of football is only surpassed by her love of corndogs. -Original model by alva
CB	wich2huwudufuq		A question that keeps every Touhou fan up at night: Which Touhou would I fuck? Do you go for the innocent lolis like Cirno, or for the experienced hags like Yukari? Vanilla lovemaking with Youmu, or the most depraved sexual acts with Sanae? Do you go for a normal human girl like Reimu or Marisa or you prefer more exotic stuff, such as Wakasagihime? Whatever your tastes are, most likely there will be a Touhou that can satisfy them.
CB	Tokoyami Towa		An iconic feature of the Tokyo skyline, Tokoyami Towa was found insufficient to meet evolving needs for broadcasting of digital signals, leading to the construction of the Tokyo Skytree in the early 2010s. On the bright side, this has freed Tokoyami Towa to pursue other interests; namely, divegrass.
CB	Abayo, Chocoball		She who streams for Argentinians might take care lest she thereby become an Argie. And if you stream for long into a VOID, the VOID streams also into you.

Midfielders

Pos.	Name	Picture	Description
CMF	TAKE IT EASY!		These abominations with passing resemblances to Touhou characters aren't too good at playing football on virtue of having no legs, but seem to have an uncanny ability to attract all the tackles from the opposing players, which makes them a great distraction.
LMF	Sachiko		Taken from the Idolm@ster wiki: "The standard skill for most of the girls in the game is to buff her own type, or debuff an opposing type. Sachiko's first S Rare was also the first card in the game to debuff its own kind, weakening enemy Cutes so that Sachiko could be the cutest." I feel there's no better description for her. By the way, don't mention Fatalpulse near her fans.
AMF	Get out of /jp/		Due to her abrasiveness and bluntness, Marisa is the perfect candidate for letting people know that /jp/ is a board where bullshit is not tolerated. These qualities also make her an excellent captain for the team. During Comiket, when the influx of Chinese visitors to /jp/ grows greatly, she sometimes gets help from Hong Meiling to remind them to get out. -Original model by Ki
CMF	Billy Herrington		Popular icon of the Gachimugi series, and easily recognizable for his figure and presence. RIP Billy ;_;7
RMF	Klown Kunny Klassic		Roriconia runs rampant on /jp/, in no small part thanks to Clownpiece. With those hips and skin tight dress, theres a reason why most /jp/sies want to fuck this one fairy.
DMF	Flanfly		It's always 2AM somewhere. -Original model by Suke
RMF	Akane-Chan		She's a wingmid now? Seyana. -Original model by kur
RMF	Cirno		Sometimes idiotic, always boastful, Cirno is a centerfielder with an ice cold touch and a red hot passion.
CMF	I FUCKING HATE THIS BITCH		Listen to this one. "Dear Mrs. Idol, I am proud that you are being seiso and defending our country against the gaijins. They are bad and I am glad you are going to ignore them and not take money from them. I am glad that you are so seiso and I simp for you. Tanigo Motoaki from Tokyo, Japan." Beta otaku shit right there. "Dear YAGOO, Thank you for your nice letter but I am actually a U.S. Dragon who was born to earn money whereas clearly you have mistaken me for some sort of semen-sipping seiso Idolshit. And although Japanese yen probably appeals to idol-loving incels like you and your brethren, I happen to be a meme dealing, money crazed warrior who wakes up every day just hoping for the chance to member my chat and defile their wallets. Idols suck a hairy asshole, YAGOO. Chuubas are the motherfucking answer."
CMF	Senchou's Aging Womb		Claims that the Hololive virtual idol program is a Japanese governmental initiative to solve the fertility crisis by reacclimating the sexual preferences of lonely young male otaku toward older women are vicious rumors. Anyway, here’s Houshou Marine: a 17-going-on-30 year old former OL with an urgent message for anybody with ears to listen: “I’m horny!” Libido aside, Marine’s notable qualities include being one of the few Holos who’s not socially retarded, frequently taking the role of host or MC in larger collaborations and other productions. She’s an impressive artist, and impressively bad at English. She’s also probably the biggest otaku within Hololive of things that would be familiar to the typical /jp/sie, having not-infrequently streamed Touhou and even made a Touhou doujin album with IOSYS and COOL&CREATE.
CMF	Poliacci		Heard joke once: Woman goes to doctor. Says she's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says she feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "treatment is simple. Great clown Omaru Polka is streaming tonight. Go watch her. That should pick you up." Woman bursts into tears. Says, "but doctor... I am Omaru Polka." Isn’t it sad, Omarun?

Attackers

Pos.	Name	Picture	Description
CF	The Narrative		Hololivers are playing football now? Anyone got the narrative on this?

Former players

Position	Name	Picture	Description
RB	Chu-Chu		Going back to smile town
CB	Ero Ruins Eroge		Maybe, but gacha ruins everything.
RB	Why is /jp/ so shitty?		The world may never know.
LB	Autism		Retired, having played for /jp/ for the better part of a decade.
GK	The YUA Line		As 2020 drew to a close without finding a new audience in the Vtuber boom, several older JP Vtubers hung up their gloves. Some (like Pinky Pop Hepburn) officially announced their retirement, others like YUA just unceremoniously disappeared. Alway rember happy day.
CB	YJSNPI		>2021 >OtoMAD is forgotten
DMF	Too Green		She was too green.
DMF	sage		Reason: Announcing a 'sage'.
LMF	Kizuna AI		Traded to /vt/ for a packet of cheese okaki.