/gsc/

/gsc/
You can't trust the ATF!
/gsc/ - Gunsmith Cats
Founded February 1991 Manager The Chicago Police Department Owner Kenichi Sonoda IRL manager Cocojoe Team colors Chat color 000000 Gunpowder Black Top scorer () Top assister () Captain Rarry Vincento Website /gsc/ - Gunsmith Cats Nickname Gunsmiths
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY 0 0 0 0 0%
GF GA GD 0 0 0
Biggest win TBD  –  TBD Biggest defeat TBD  –  TBD First match TBD  –  TBD
Team music
Anthem Bulletproof! Victory Anthem The Showdown Champions Victory Anthem Holiday Goal horn Operations Rarry Vincento Goalhorn Rally Angel Rarry Vincento Hattrick Bad Girl Woe, Grenades Be Upon Ye Goalhorn Do It Minnie May! The Road Buster Goalhorn Road Buster Pure American Muscle Goalhorn Shelby GT500
Kits

{{#ev:youtube|https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jvxj0gPec0%7C720%7Ccenter}}

/gsc/ is a team paying homage to a manga series (and later anime) from fellow basement-dweller Kenichi Sonoda, Gunsmith Cats. Much like Sonoda-san himself, /gsc/ too exemplifies autism of the weapon, car, and US politics-based variety. Featuring the explosive elusiveness of "Minnie" May Hopkins and the shot accuracy of Rally Vincent, the two bounty hunter femme fatales are accompanied by the likes of glowies, feds, psychotic lesbians, drug lords, and murderers as foes and friends, sometimes both.

A series where you learn about gun laws, how the Czechs make the best handgun in existence, how to disarm a bomb, the power of American Muscle cars, and how corrupt officials peddle petty schemes to shovel more money into their pockets, with guns and drugs as the scapegoats and money-earners simultaneously.

The pinnacle of westaboo media.

Squad

No. Position Player 76   GK Oh, sweet self-defence! 4   CB The Truth Fairy 5   CB As Useful as Elliott Ness 12   CB Clean-Up Crew 3   DMF The Nose 42   LMF i cooka da kerasine 75   CMF The Pinnacle of Semi-Automatic Handgun Evolution 45   RMF The Road Buster 61   AMF From Ukraine Without Love 2   SS Woe, Grenades Be Upon Ye 1   CF Rarry Vincento

No. Position Player 21   GK >chicago 55   CB Average Democrat 14   CB KFC 15   CB George Black, Upstanding American 69   CB Lady Locksmith 17   CB The Magnificent Mr. Smart 13   DMF MY HAND! 19   DMF Obvious Codenames 20   CMF Speed Angel 67   CMF Pure American Muscle 88   AMF Why are you white? 26   AMF Buff

Player	Description
Oh, sweet self-defence!	Foreigners will find it difficult to imagine a world where Pablo or Pierre needs to own a M60 Medium Machine Gun, or a Lahti Anti-Tank Rifle. But in Chicago, where every criminal can obtain a B61 Thermonuclear Bomb from the dark back alleys which inhabit every American city, even the most law-abiding citizens will have a M2 .50 Caliber Machine Gun in their pocket. After all, it is the cities with the most restrictive gun laws which have the highest rate of gun crime.
The Truth Fairy	Roy Coleman, veteran detective within the Chicago Police Department is a close friend of our explosive duo of Rally and May. Seen as the 'older brother' Rally never had, he embodies the spirit of safety and unsung busywork, always preoccupied with operating in the background of whatever stunts Rally gets up to. A great conversationalist and ad-hoc therapist, he has gone so far as to jail Rally in order to try and protect her from her own reckless behavior. And before you ask ladies, he's married.
As Useful as Elliott Ness	Almost a good Fed. Almost. Bill Collins is a member of the ATF, also known as a convenience-store cop. Initially seen as nothing more than a sleazeball fed looking to deprive our main two heroines of their rights to judicious amounts of firepower, Roy unwraps a massive conspiracy implicating his boss of corrupt dealings with drug dealers and the anti-gun lobby, teaming up with Rally, May, and their friends in exchange for them obtaining a totally legitimate license to keep practicing their trade.
Clean-Up Crew	Kate (no surname) is the red-headed girl-in-blue whom acts as Roy's most competent assistant and a silent force behind the scenes, often acting as his proxy in more dangerous situations. Doubtlessly she participates in the 'cleanup' of all the messes Rally leaves behind, so we have her to thank for us being able to hone in on the adventures of our CZ-laden friend in far more minute detail. Support the cops! They make your kickass action flicks possible!
The Nose	Becky Farrah is the best information gatherer in all of Chicago, capable of doing things such as... Uh... Basic deduction! And... Browser searches on shady websites! Look, she's trying her best, you see?! In fact, why don't you pay her $50,000 for this information right now, plus $3,400 in good will for making a fool out of her, huh?! Oh, right! Don't forget the extra $2,500 for daring to make a joke about her religion in relation to her nose! Oh wait, you didn't...? No, she's not projecting!
i cooka da kerasine	This Wop-- I mean... Mistress Goldie is a psychotic lesbian version of Walter Whi-- I mean a respectable mafioso from the mythical land of Sicily. And as they say, in Sicily, women are more dangerous than shotguns. ...Was that a compliment? Please don't break my fingers, Mistress Goldie. Here to kill the competition, the drug scientist legitimate businesswoman is the one who hypnotized negotiates with the referees of others, and seeks to turn their girls into obedient pets good friends.
The Pinnacle of Semi-Automatic Handgun Evolution	As far as I'm concerned, the CZ75 is the pinnacle of semi-automatic handgun evolution. If there's anything that could be improved, I'd make the grip out of walnut, full-checkered, and make some of the levers a bit bigger. But when the Czech government decided to sell the CZ75 in the West, they ran into two problems—mass production, and production costs. In order to speed up production and to get more life out of the blades on their machine tools, they lowered the grade of steel to Western standards. I figure they extended the slide rails like that to make up for the loss of accuracy. But if you ask me, it didn't work. The old model is the REAL CZ75. ~ Rally Vincent
The Road Buster	The best hires are those who know how to get the job done. Bean Bandit is the best driver in the United States, and someone who embodies the true spirit of the 'good natured antihero', though his loyalties lie in cash, and his weakness to maintaining the innocence of the youth. The described 'gorilla in a flak jacket' is another example of a character who doesn't need guns to get around, but that's because in a world of quick paced injury and death, the man seems invulnerable to the point where he has a bulletproof bandana, with his favorite method of dealing damage being bashing them in with his head. That or maneuvering them off of the road.
From Ukraine Without Love	The antagonist everyone remembers from the 3-episode animated OVA, Natasha Radinov aka 'Bloody Pierce' was everything that a Russian would tell you his mother was. A former KGB and Spetsnaz operative, Radinov became a freelance assassin after the fall of the Soviet Union, smuggling in Heroin from the United States to pawn off in Russia. A character surprisingly rooted in real-world politics, yet enough of a spectacle to make a great hollywood antagonist. Allegedly, she also assisted Neo-Nazis in Germany as of the early 90s.
Woe, Grenades Be Upon Ye	Alongside the femme fatale of Rally lies her partner-in-justice, "Minnie" May Hopkins. A bombshell in far more ways than one, the Chinese-American girl likes her gunpowder like she likes her men-- and her ramen. Hot and bursting with flavor! Embodying the innate human desire to just blow shit up, the feisty little explosives expert is quick on her feet, and just as quick in her head. A perfect foil to Rally's straight-laced and straightforward nature, she embraces the chaos and unpredictability of life, be it in the midst of a gunfight or on the pitch.
Rarry Vincento	The personification of /ak/ers themselves, Rally Vincent embodies every gun enthusiast's incredible autism for the nuance of detail. Whether your gun is a Hi-Point or a Ikunzi, Rally will be able to tell by the sound of the trigger pull alone, before shooting out your magazine with a shot so good, that she might as well already be perfect for the soccer football-specific duties of punting shots into targets literally the size of a barn's side. She might love her guns a little too much, but to gun enthusiasts, what's a better fragrance than gunsmoke and oil?
>chicago	The Windy City, once the jewel of the Great Lakes, is now the butt of it's jokes. Being so riddled with shots, one can't help but wonder if the holes came from the ball, or from the bullets of an anti-tank rifle. Was the rifle legal? No. Did they care? What do you think? This is Chicago. Being shot at is a daily occurrence.
Average Democrat	We love Eddie! Edward Haints, a character from the anime OVA is a bleeding-heart politician on the surface who wishes nothing more than to rid firearms from a peaceful civilian existence, and clean up all the gangs of roving illegal immigrants! In Chicago! Unfortunately yet predictably, Haints engages in the most time-honored American political tradition; corruption! He in fact is using anti-gun legislature to raise the prices on his illicit firearms he sells, paralleling real life trends regarding legislation of this type, unfortunately.
KFC	Ken Taki is an illusive figure of explosive genius. May's mentor and spiritual partner in all things that go boom, the Japanese man is the light to her fuse. Seeing every bomb he crafts as a work of art, Ken's skills in making bombs nearly immune to disarming will be sure to help in the fields of defense. After all, what could be more discouraging than a claymore roomba? What's that? The acronym? Well, you could say that Ken's (got) Fucking C4.
George Black, Upstanding American	As wide as his patriotism for his country, George Black is the head of the ATF and absolutely, totally, definitely a fan of firearms, explosives, and everything fun! He definitely does not have dealings with the Russian Mafia and turncoat KGB operatives to peddle guns and drugs while purposely cooperating with anti-firearm politicians in order to further his own agenda. That would be corrupt and not American! And what could be less patriotic than the government, am I right?
Lady Locksmith	With the skill set of the average Londoner, the other redhead of the series is a girl who constantly gets herself into trouble, but has the skills to get out of it just as well. A master of stealth, agility, and 'street-smart' skills which only a street rat would be proficient in, Misty Brown handles herself quite well without a gun. Instead, she tends to bring a small pocket knife to violent altercations, though her level of confidence often leads her into situations even she can't escape from ordinarily.
The Magnificent Mr. Smart	An estranged father with his ex-wife after him, Mr. Smart is the Magician that 'Makes Miracles Happen'. One can only hope he's as good on the pitch as he is with a set of cards, but the referees may disagree with him on the legality of playing cards and magic knives in the realm of football.
MY HAND!	Rally has left more than a trail of tears and 9mm cartridges. She's also left a trail of fingers and hands, courtesy of her legendary handgun twirl technique. This has led to more than a few people holding a grudge, as one certain Gray decided to chop off his hand and instead install a sword which could be pneumatically launched from a truck spring. Now, he's out for her hand. In marriage. And also literally. With him it's all a bit confusing...
Obvious Codenames	Bonnie and Clyde are a criminal duo loaded with firepower and a sick sports car. The two are fearless to the point where Bonnie openly fires at police officers and Clyde attempts to kill Rally and May by tossing one of May's own grenades at them. Unfortunately, this means that whilst they're quick on the draw and rather witty, they overextend. This allows our heroines to eventually overcome, though perhaps the use of less obvious codenames would've thrown off the investigators for a bit longer? Whatever, cool codenames are great for a story.
Speed Angel	What happens when you take the protagonist from Need For Speed: Most Wanted and transplant them directly into the most gun-heavy manga imaginable? Speed Angel Riff-Raff. The star on her face isn't just for show, this girl is the pinnacle of street racers, and gets by without using violence a single time. Which in a place like Chicago makes her a very talented player indeed.
Pure American Muscle	Here to prove the superiority of PURE AMERICAN MUSCLE over SHITTY FOREIGN IMPORTS, the Shelby GT500 Cobra is 3,370 pounds of MIGHTY AMERICAN STEEL capable of running any SHITTY FOREIGN IMPORT driving on the left side off our god-blessed AMERICAN roads. Rally's trusty steed, this car has proven time and time again that AMERICAN INGENUITY is the only thing that can bear the weight of AMERICAN EXCELLENCE. God Bless America!
Why are you white?	In a move all Freeaboos would side with Sonoda-san on, Rally's first design was of a blonde bombshell with blue eyes. Upon doing more research, his heart was shattered as he found the average American was a fat, brown-haired ugly bastard. He rectified his mistake with Rally's redesign for Gunsmith Cats, but White Rally is forever a ghost which will haunt those who prefer her new (lol) design more. At least we can say she's looking very master race today.
Buff	The coolest ride one could ask for, Buff is built like a car straight out of James Bond, minus all the obnoxious weapons. Commissioned from the ground up by Bean Bandit, Buff is based vaguely on the Ford RS200 which competed in Group B, with a bulletproof body and a 427-Block with a supercharger. Screaming with 500 BHP of raw horsepower, Buff seeks to be the ultimate in cars, coming with 90 degree side steering, portholes for his coworkers weaponry, and deployable wheel-blades to dig into Chicago's shittily maintained roads to come to a quick halt when brakes inevitably aren't enough. Named after the North American Cape Buffalo, the Road Buster himself attests to it being one mean, tough bastard.

Team Records

Goalscorers

Scoring Chart as of TBD

Player	Goals
Placeholder	X

• Players in Italics are no longer active.

Match History

Competition	Round	Opponent	Result	Scorers	Date
/ag/ League 7	Group Stage	TBD	–		TBD
		TBD	–		TBD
		TBD	–		TBD

Downloads

2023
/ag/ League: The 7 Deadly Sans Tactical Export: It's Aesthetics Export: Called Audio Export: A Pastebin: Magazine