Revision as of 20:17, 20 June 2019

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Current players

Starters

Name

Number

Position(s)

Source / Random

Model

Description

Clippity Cloppity

17

	GK

The living manifestation of the ponified Gadsen flag, Clippity Cloppity embodies the ferocity by which /mlpol/ protects its borders. Ready to unleash a barrage of gunfire and horsepussy, she maintains a stalwart vigil against intruders, shills, bots, and reddit. What she won't do is violate the NAP, but those who violate /mlpol/'s can expect to hear one thing as they're bombarded with pastel porn: CLIPPITY CLOPPITY, GET OFF MY PROPERTY!! Part of team since /pol/eague I.

Aryanne

88

	CF

The proud representative of National Socialism for /mlpol/, Aryanne is a pure, proud Aryan pony serving as a military officer of the Maremacht of Germaney and is an active politician in her country. She holds no love for the (((griffons))) or their lies and has a fondness for putting degenerates where they belong: in the chambers. As Captain, her tactical genius and relentless blitzkrieg assault has led the team and the board to many victories, and under her leadership we expect to have many more.

How long until your board is annexed by Aryanne and the combined forces of /mlpol/?. Part of team since /pol/eague I.

Leslie

76

	CF

Leslie Fair is the quintessence of a profitable business pony. Her roots in business began with a small mare-ijuana farm in her basement. Business boomed and she decided to not only expand her business, but invest in this new thing called "Bitcoin". A few years later, both mining and trading the cryptocurrency, Leslie found herself a millionmare. With her newfound wealth she set out diversifying her business tracks. Now she can be found giving free Free Helicopter Tours (Call 1-800-6-leslie for more details) and buying (and selling) Recreational McNukes for use against those who violate the NAP. Part of team since /pol/eague I.

Syriana

56

	SS

Syriana is a nation pony, one of the many pony OCs who represent the various nations of the world, and serves as further proof that there truly is a pony of everything. Specifically, she represents Syria underneath Bashar al-Assad, the un-Mossaded one and rightful President of Syria. After the establishment of the /sg/ bunker on /mlpol/, she was quickly accepted by the new posters as a mascot for the General where she has found love as a humble merchant of barrels and drinker of Moderated Rebel Tears. She is a cute (and occasionally lewd) mare and a perfect representative for /mlpol/ on the athletic stage, and with her aid our team is certain to make MAD GAINZ on the field of virtual divegrass, with NEW and IMPROVED SHIT-MAPS! Barrel bombs, anypony? Part of team since /pol/eague II.

John Elway

7

	RMF

John Elway, was born a pauper to a pawn on a Christmas day, when the (((New York Times))) said God is dead, and the war’s begun; Dan Reeves has a son today, and his name shall be John Elway, and he shall be a good man. PBUH.

In ancient times, when there was no Football and the ponies of the land wandered in darkness, baseball was everywhere and basketball reigned supreme. It was in this environment that a young Pegasus pony named Rainbow Dash was frolicking in a dewey meadow, when suddenly the earth trembled, and a great light shone down from the heavens, and an angel appeared unto her, for it was the Angel of Football.

“Be not afraid,” said the Angel of Football, “For I bring you tidings of great joy. For this day, in the city of your horse-vagina, a great Football will be born today.” And while she was thus distracted, the great progenitor of Football, Dan Reeves, who had traveled back in time thousands of millions of years from the year 1986 or whatever, did sneak up behind her, and he did put his hoo-hoo-dilly in her cha-cha, and Rainbow Dash did squeal in eternal bliss, for thus was ejaculated into the very depths of her horse-womb the multitude of Football, and the Football did explode forth in a sonic rainboom of pure Football, and thus was born into the world His Majesty, the almighty John Elway, who was also Football. PBUH.

And lo, John Elway, who was himself the Football and the Football was John Elway, did thence go forth into the world, and he did smite the false prophets of Baseball and Basketball, and he brought Football to the ponies of the land, and the ponies rejoiced, and also he had sex with some of them because why not. And he brought forth his disciple Peyton Manning, whose enormous forehead did tower into the heavens, and it was in this way that the ponies of the land were able to climb to the heavens and experience true Football, which was stronger than the regular Football that was already there thanks to John Elway, who was himself both the Football and John Elway. PBUH.

And then it was time for John Elway to go forth into the almighty universe, and fulfill his eternal destiny of Football. And so he built himself a time machine that was 40 cubits in length, and 40 cubits in height, with a density of four hundred billion cubits and probably like five or six cows, and he did travel thence to the future, to the world of 1986 or whatever, where the apocalyptic battle between the evil Seattle Seahawks, who at that time were called the Washington Redskins, and the Denver Broncos, who are themselves the entirety of Football as well as John Elway, who is also the entirety of Football as well as the Denver Broncos, was taking place. And John Elway did smite the Washington Redskins with a mighty rainbow blast of pure Football, although the game was not technically won that day, and he did thence rocket forth in time to the year 1998, when it actually was won, and the Oakland Raiders, who at that time were called the Green Bay Packers, were defeated for all time, and he did explode that victory out into the universe where it became Football for all time, in addition to the Football that was already Football for all time.

Then he did use his time machine again to travel back into the past of thousands of billions of years ago, before Equestria itself, and he did dip his mighty Footballs in the primordial Silver, and did thence proceed through the seven chambers of Football until he arrived at the Gold Chamber of Solar Football, where he was told by the Lords of Football to become Football, which he already was but he became even more Football than he was before, and then took his place in the Pantheon of Football, which had only one member: John Elway. His Football levels now exceed ten hundred million percent. The time was now right for Him to fulfill his destiny. PBUH.

John Elway did thence descend from the high mountain of Football, back through the seven chambers and out through the primordial quantum soup once more, bringing with him the Light of Football, and he emerged thus as Dan Reeves, Father of Football, and the Bringer of the Football. And he did use his rad time machine once more, to travel to the Equestria of the Future, which was also the Past, and he did sneak up behind Rainbow Dash while she was being distracted by the Angel of Football, who was also Peyton Manning from another dimension, and he did stick his hoo-hoo-dilly in her cha-cha, exploding forth the Football into her horse-womb and becoming Football for all time for like the third or fourth time that day.

And then, he did ascend into the heavens, and he did take his place at the right hand of the Father of Football, who was Dan Reeves and also John Elway, and, his work complete, became Football for all time for the first and final time. Amen. PBUH.

And thence did the multitude of ponies rejoice, and forevermore their cry was heard throughout the land: “Praise American!” “Praise Football!” Part of team since FOOTBALL, which is eternity in the eyes of John Elway, though he did play divegrass with ponies since /pol/eague I.

(((Griffons)))

6

	LB

They're mean, they're ugly, they hate each other only slightly less than they hate everypony else. They're greedy, they love money so much they once continuously stole each other's gold until they left their kingdom destitute. And their beaks… if there was any doubt as to which species had earned the right to be called "The Kikes of Equestria", it was cast from our minds the moments these disgusting, talon-rubbing, money-grubbing, happy merchant cat-birds were formally introduced to us. Part of team since /pol/eague I.

Moonmare

11

	CB

Moonmare Moonmare can't you see? Ziggers an Griffons should hang from trees. Part of team since /pol/eague III.

Reichs Alicorn

3

	CB

Part of team since /pol/eague II.

Dixie Jack

61

	RB

Ah dunno 'bout y'all, but Ah'm gettin' mighty sick an' tired 'bout them fancy-schmancy Can-ter-lot unicorns tellin' us hard workin' Earth Ponies what we can an' can't do. Us Apples 'ave been workin' these here orchards fer generations now, so Ah think we know a might bit more 'bout apples an' apple farmin' than those city slickers. Ponyville is an Earth Pony town, through an' through, an' over here we do thangs the Earth Pony way, just as we always have ever since Granny Smith first helped ta found this place. We ain't gon' take it no more! They ain't taking down anymore of our historical monuments and statues just because it might offend a couple of uppity Ziggers. Equestria was founded on cooperation 'tween all three pony races, not on unicorns tellin' everypony what ta do an' how ta do thangs their way. An ya know wha'? Ah hate Ziggers! Ah say we go back ta those days. We are Earth Ponies, an' ain't no unicorn gon' tell us what to do any more! Part of team since /pol/eague III.

Tarrant-Chan

14

	DMF

[[Image:|200px|]]

[[|200px|]]

2019. Just when everyone thought the year would be shit and lacklustre, A NEW CHALLENGER HAS APPEARED in the form of Master Chief Brenton Harrison Tarrant卐, a.k.a the Kiwi Kebab Killer; a heroic IRL JC Denton Aussie troll who took it upon himself to remove the Mooslem filth invading his not-home country of New Zealand. As various chan factions vied to claim ownership of this shit-posting prophet through memes and the immediate creation of Tarrant-chan (a product of rules 34 and 63), /mlpol/ did what horsefuckers always do; they took the immediately minted Tarrant Chan and applied rule 85 (sometimes referred to as a subset of rule 34) and ponified her. Remember colts, subscribe to Pewdiepie. Joined the team in /pol/eague IV.

Honk Ponk

8

	LMF

[[Image:|200px|]]

[[File:|200px|]]

There are many of us these days who have fallen into the dark pits of depression. It is easy to see why, as it feels as if every step forward we make is pushed backwards by two. That is why it is important to remember that in this crazy clown world we live in, where logic and reason no longer applies, we should not take ourselves so seriously, lest we lose ourselves to the blackpills that are constantly forced down our throats. It is easier with cute colorful ponies, especially when the cutest and most colorful of them all is the literal Element of Laughter.

Remember, Anons: giggle at the ghosties, and suddenly they no longer seem as scary as they once were. HONK HONK Joined the team in /pol/eague IV.

Bench

Name

Number

Position(s)

Source / Random

Model

Description

Fireaxe

51

	GK

The resident first responder and member of the Right Wing Safety Squad, Fireaxe takes pleasure in eliminating unsafe situations brought about by code-violators and degenerates. Her distaste for unnecessary hazards has put her at odds with Aryanne on occasion, what with the latter's penchant for burning degenerate literature, but one thing they can and do agree on is a need for law and order to serve both the individual and the groups they interact with and their neighbors who might not know or appreciate that there's a bunch of crazy lefties violating every safety code under the sun who are living next door. Her strict adherence to safety has placed her as GK, where she protects us all.

WOW! Communism

5

	LB

"If you want to get technical, it hasn't ever been tried. You gotta read Marx in order to understand. Oh those other times? Those weren't examples of TRUE communism. Yes alot of ponies died, but,... Yes it was ALOT of ponies who needlessly died, but that's,... ... well its important for social development. Don't ask (((me))) for the details!" Glimmerniggers are like cancer, you always have to be on the look-out. It may be a shit-posting thread, and maybe its an attempt to subvert capitalism, You never can be too sure. Even cute ponies can shill poison. Glimmy a coot tho. Part of team since /pol/eague II.

Zigger (colonized)

34

	LB

While 2 previous ziggers on the team turned out to be unsurprisingly worthless and were shot and sent to the glue factory, there's something about this one. Maybe its because she openly denounces zigger culture as degenerate and contributing to the decay of Equestria. Or that she openly admits that ziggers are several standard deviations of intelligence lower than white pones, on average. Maybe its the fact that she refuses to interact with anything but harmonious and national-socialist ponies. Whatever it is, we decided to keep this one. For now at least. Joined the team in /pol/eague III.

Anonfilly

42

	CB

Yes she's orange, though usually she's Green; or sometimes red, and maybe blue. Occasionally she's teal (REEEEEEEE!) Anonfilly is the lucky filly who got to experience what deep down we all want to experience; the chance to be not only Anon in Equestria, but to be the filly in all sorts of unspeakable ways. Such as hoof-holding. Corrupting Equestria in ways only challenged by Molestia herself, Anonfilly is 4chan made pone, and we love her for it. Especially for her chest floof, but not only. When the faggots at 4chan brought down the ban-hammer and prohibited Anonfilly her rightful place, /mlpol/ gave her a sacred and permanent place to call her own. Ponies are allowed, no exceptions.

Epona

4

	CB

Epona isn't just a ponified horse from the Legend of Zelda, oh no. Epona and the legends and cults that surround her is proof that people have been taking the horsepill no less than 4000 years ago, where she was worshipped by the Gauls, Romans, Germans, Greeks, Celts, et al as a fertility Goddess and protector of horses, ponies, donkeys, and mules. She is the only celtic Goddess to be inducted into the Roman pantheon and worshipped as such. Her Feast-day is December 18th, and there exist groups (most notably on Mackinac Island in Michigan) who pay homage to her with a yearly blessing and celebration in her honor. She does love them carrots though.

FRIENDSHIP IN THE WATER IS TURNING THE FREAKIN' CHANGELINGS GAY

11

	CMF

[[Image:|200px|]]

[[File:|200px|]]

I DON'T LIKE THEM PUTTING...

Horsepill

2

	RB

Part of team since /pol/eague I.

Burn Juice

0

	RB

Oh, you can burn juice. Its actually the best thing to do with them. You could make soap and lampshades, but thats a LOT of soap and lampshades. I mean you can't just leave too much juice lying around, it will spoil and undermine your societal framework. You could shoot the juice, gas them, even rig the exhaust of vehicles to kill them, but then you've got alot of dead juice, and that will quickly become unpleasant; almost as unpleasant as having live juice. The best way historically, is to burn them. Legend tells of 6 gorrillion juice-boxes that were burned, though no evidence exists to corroborate that assessment. Burning Juice must be that effective then.

What The Fuck I Like Horses Now

44

	DMF

Now infused with FBI Glowniggers! Its okay. You saw a meme, you saw a pictograph, you saw some shit. You happened to see something related to My Little Pony. You thought to yourself, "This is a thing for little girls. There's no way I would,..." And then for some reason; you saw something. Maybe it was the traditional belief structure with an occasional emphasis on anarcho-capitalism. Also, there's horsepussy. Have you seen it? You wouldn't think to find horspron as being so compelling, and yet there it is. Its picturesque. God dammit, am I a horsefucker now?? At least no one will know because there's no individual/group brazen enough to track down who I am. Part of the team since /pol/eague I.

Remove Reddit

69

	DMF

From the days of #GamerGate to the 2016 election, /pol/'s influence and memetic magic has allowed the board to change the course of human history and alter the very timeline we reside in for the better. But it has not come without its costs, for the exposure of /pol/ to the wider Internet brought it into contact with the most malignant of cancers: Reddit. Ever since discovering /pol/, they have infected and spread throughout the entirety of the board. Their homeland's hugbox of likes and dislikes meant that they had been programmed to ignore proper constructive discussions and favor (You)-baiting to maximize their dopamine intake. Their ignorance of and outright hostility towards the positions of the native /pol/acks caused them to attack the very inhabitants of the board they moved to, leading to the ruination of formerly high-quality generals like 4/sg/. The heavily conservative, pro-Israel Boomers of r/the_Donald and the blind "classical liberal" followers of Sargoy of Cuckad flooded in in such large quantities that there was no hope of ever integrating them into the board culture. It was /pol/'s very own migrant crisis.

But on that fateful day of April 1, 2010 + 7, when /mlp/ and /pol/ were first merged, the Redditors were buried underneath a mountain of pony porn as the nor/mlp/eople indulged in the freedom given to them by their new red-board status. All of the (You)s they had once hoarded and shilled for were stolen by people reacting to the glorious flood of porn. Unable to come to terms with the superiority of horsepussy, and with all of their (You)s gone, they fled from the site with haste, and /pol/ was once again liberated, if only for a brief, wonderous moment.

To this day, we have not forgotten the lessons learned from the years suffering from the Redditor cancer: do not trust Reddit. They are not your friend, they are not your ally. They do not discuss, they do not integrate. They are a malignant growth on the Internet that will spread and kill off their host at a moments notice. When the Day of the Rope comes, you can be certain Reddit will be on the list.

Luftkrieg

8

	CMF

Don't ask where she came from, you might not like the many answers you'll find. Luftkrieg is a resounding icon of both the HooflerJugend and white ponies in general. She shares her Aunt Aryanne's disdain of the Griffons and is quick to support the Alicorn Reich, presenting all manner of details and specifics about how 6 gorrillion Griffons weren't gassed (though they should have been), and how Hoofler did nothing wrong. Just ask her, she'll be more than happy to red-pill even the most innocent of ponies. As something of an embodiment of the Windmill of Friendship, Luftkreig typifies the best of both the younger generation and white ponies. And she's a coot. Joined the team in /pol/eague III.

Windmill of Friendship

1

	CMF

Heil Hitler! Part of team since /pol/eague I.

Removed Players

Here rest players that honorably retired or were thrown front of firing squad due being degenerate failures.

Retired

Name

Number

Position(s)

Source / Random

Model

Description

Clopped

10

	DMF

Entered /pol/eague I and retired after /pol/eague III. Dateline April 3rd, 2010 + 7 The nor/mlpol/ice, distraught about the loss of their new home at 4/mlpol/, migrate to /qa/ in the hopes that their pleas to the mods could have their home restored. Unknown at that time, /jp/sies had turned /qa/ into their own "sekrit club" and lashed out at these poor lost souls who they viewed as "invaders". Thus began the /mlpolqa/ War, and for a whole week the valiant nor/mlpol/ice forces held the board under their control to such a degree that mods had no choice but to lock the board. While the mods proved to indeed be fags, /qa/ was changed forever, for they had become Clopped to the superiority of horsepussy, Football, and /mlpol/. To this day we honor our victory in the war with regular raids on /qa/, and Clopped stands as testament to that, to remind them exactly of their place.

Doom Faust

12

	CMF

Entered in /pol/eague II, retired after /pol/eague III.

Give us Back /mlpol/

14

	CB

Entered /pol/eague I and retired after /pol/eague II. April fools

Ponychet

73

	RB

Entered /pol/eague I and retired after /pol/eague II.

Gone Fishing

45

	RB

Entered /pol/eague II and retired after /pol/eague II.

Cutely Marked Crusader

11

	DMF

Entered /pol/eague I and retired after /pol/eague II. Deus Vult.

Hoofler

88

	CB