The logo competition for the 2025 4chan Winter Cup is now taking submissions.
The deadline is January 6th, 23:59 UTC. Logos will be placed in this gallery to facilitate discussion. This will be followed by a polling period to determine which logo will be used.

Please send all submissions to Potatotron. You must supply a high-res PNG file (5000x5000 limit) and the original multi-layer source file.

Cloverleaf logo: .png .svg

Cloverball logo: .ai .png .svg

Difference between revisions of "/tv/ Roster"

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(what the fuck is "mom i've fixed the economy")
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"And that's how Dumbledore exterminated the Slytherin scum. HEIL GODRIC! Dumbledore truly was the greatest headmaster of them all, and a good friend."
"And that's how Dumbledore exterminated the Slytherin scum. HEIL GODRIC! Dumbledore truly was the greatest headmaster of them all, and a good friend."
|-
|-
| style="border-style: solid; Background: #ccffcc; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''I'll Make a (Wo)Man Out of You'''
| style="border-style: solid; Background: #ccffcc; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''What About His Tax Policy'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 838
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"|
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|LB}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:TaxPolicy.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| You can have all the pointless, shitty arguments about [insert franchise here but mostly Lord of the Rings] all you want, but one question trumps all when establishing the profile of any dictator, king, leader or oligarch in your fantasy setting: what about his tax policy?
|-
| style="border-style: solid; Background: #ccffcc; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Days Until Avatar 3'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"|  
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|CB}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|CB}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Mulan2020.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:AvatarPepe.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS<br>TO APPEASE...XINJIANG.<br>DISNEY SENDS ME DORRARS<br>WE CUT OUT...SLAVE TONGUES<br>THEY ARE LOYAL TO OUR PRESIDENT<br>BUT YOU CAN BET, THE MOUSE WILL TOO<br>DISNEY I'LL<br>THROW SOME CASH<br>OUT TO YOU
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| It's over. The countdown finally ended after several year-long setbacks.<br><br>And now we wait once more.
|-
|-
| style="border-style: solid; Background: #ccffcc; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Classic Paul Dano'''
| style="border-style: solid; Background: #ccffcc; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''K I N O'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 5
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 0
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|CB}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|CB}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Classic.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:KINO.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| Classic.
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| ABSOLUTE FUCKING KINOGRAPHY.<br>Also known as the most versatile word on /tv/. Kino can be anything and come from anywhere, just as long as /tv/ holds high praise for it.
|-
|-
| style="border-style: solid; Background: #ccffcc; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Dr. Ivo Robotnik'''
| style="border-style: solid; Background: #ccffcc; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''I'M GONNA SAY IT'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 3
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 5
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|CB}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|RB}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Robotnik.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Joker.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| You didn't expect him to play for /tv/...but you were expecting him not to expect him to play for /tv/, so it doesn't count. Despite his exile to the Mushroom Planet in early 2020, Robotnik signed for the team in the springtime after learning that his contract promised him a pre-game latte with steamed Austrian goat milk made by his assistant every week.
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| *HUFF HUFF* MUR-RAAAAAAAAAY, YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD KEEP ME DOWN? WELL *HUFF* IT'S TIME FOR A FOLIE A DEUX, MUR-RAY! I'VE GOT A FEW MORE JO- *SCREEEEEEEEEEEE* *CRASH*
 
And why wouldn't he accept that contract? <b>HE LOVES THE WAY HE MAKES THEM!</b>
|-
|-
| style="border-style: solid; Background: #ccffcc; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Mike "Ampf" Stoklasa'''
| style="border-style: solid; Background: #ccffcc; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Mike "White Power Every Hour" Stoklasa'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 17
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 17
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|DMF}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|DMF}}
Line 66: Line 70:
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| AKA Mike "Pulling the Trigger on Every Nigger" Stoklasa, AKA Mike "Kike Killer" Stoklasa, AKA Mike "Gook Nuke" Stoklasa.
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| AKA Mike "Pulling the Trigger on Every Nigger" Stoklasa, AKA Mike "Kike Killer" Stoklasa, AKA Mike "Gook Nuke" Stoklasa.
|-
|-
| style="border-style: solid; Background: #BFBFBF; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Anatoly "Nuclear" Dyatlov'''
| style="border-style: solid; Background: #BFBFBF; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Kinoplex Robert'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 36
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 97
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|CMF}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|CMF}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Roentgen.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Robert.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| "How many goals have we conceded per game?"<br>"3.6 per game, but that's as high as PES..."<br>"3.6...not great, not terrible."<br><br>Dyatlov did nothing wrong, fuck you CCCP.
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| "Welcome back, Anon. I've just received the good word that the pandemic is over."<br>{{greentext|"Thank God, eh?"}}<br>"And just in time for a great summer of kino, Anon. I've already reserved tickets for Oppenheimer, Fast X, and Dune Part 2, just for you. But I imagine you're in for a special kino tonight?"<br>{{greentext|"Y-yes indeed. One ticket to Barbie, please. Crab legs, extra butter."}}
|-
|-
| style="border-style: solid; Background: #ccffcc; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Gul Dukat'''
| style="border-style: solid; Background: #BFBFBF; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Real Human Being'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 9
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 1
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|LMF}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|CMF}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:GULDUKAT.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Realhumanbeing.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| MAKE CARDASSIA GREAT AGAIN
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| And a real hero.
|-
|-
| style="border-style: solid; Background: #ccffcc; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''{{greentext|the absolute and utter state of Doctor Who}}'''
| style="border-style: solid; background: #BFBFBF; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Frank "Sheev" Palpatine''' {{captain}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 10
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 66
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|RMF}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|SS}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Blackwho.png|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Sheev.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| AYO I'S THE ORIGINAL DOCTA I AIN'T FINNA BE NO WHITE MAN NO MORE, LEZ DO DIS WIBBLEH WOBBLEH TIMEH WIMEH STUFF, DAS RITE.
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| He must be Frank (aliases include The Senate, Darth Sidious, and Oltha Sith, grandfather of Oltha Jedi).
|-
|-
| style="border-style: solid; Background: #BFBFBF; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Brendan Fraser'''
| style="border-style: solid; Background: #EDDA74; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Oscar Winner Brendan Fraser'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 11
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 11
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|AMF}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|CF}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:BrendanFraser.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:BrendanFraser.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| It's over. He's unJUSTed.
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| It's over. He's unJUSTed.
|-
| style="border-style: solid; background: #EDDA74; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Sheev''' {{captain}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 66
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|SS}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Sheev.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| UUUUUUUUUUUNLIMITED POWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
|-
|-
| style="border-style: solid; background: #EDDA74; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''FOR YOU'''
| style="border-style: solid; background: #EDDA74; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''FOR YOU'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 40
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 4U
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|CF}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|CF}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Bane.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Bane.jpg|200px|link=]]
Line 109: Line 107:
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Highground.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Highground.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| He has the physical high ground, as well as the moral high ground. It's like pottery.
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| He has the physical high ground, as well as the moral high ground. It's like pottery.
|-
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Watch It Chrissy'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 19
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|LB}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Watchitchrissy.jpeg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| YOU'D BETTER WATCH IT, ANON.
|-
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Gul Dukat'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 9
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|CB}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:GULDUKAT.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| MAKE CARDASSIA GREAT AGAIN
|-
|-
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Rick Deckard'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Rick Deckard'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 49
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 49
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|LB}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|CB}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:GODDAMNIT.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:GODDAMNIT.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| '''LONELY AND HORNY.'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| '''LONELY AND HORNY.'''
|-
|-
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Real Human Being'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Absolute and Utter State of Doctor Who'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 1
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 10
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|LB}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Realhumanbeing.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| And a real hero.
|-
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Paul I "Muad'Dub" Atredies'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 98
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|CB}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|CB}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Paul.jpeg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Blackwho.png|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{tt|Father, I CRAVE the spice...|look I don't know DUNE lore, don't @ me}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| AYO I'S THE ORIGINAL DOCTA I AIN'T FINNA BE NO WHITE MAN NO MORE, LEZ DO DIS WIBBLEH WOBBLEH TIMEH WIMEH STUFF, DAS RITE.
|-
|-
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Kino'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''LYNCHED'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 0
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 515
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|CB}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:KINO.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| ABSOLUTE FUCKING KINOGRAPHY.<br>Also known as the most versatile word on /tv/. Kino can be anything and come from anywhere, just as long as /tv/ holds high praise for it.
|-
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''{{tt|Dan "Cuitie Connesuir" Schnider|nice spelling you fucking retard, I'm surprised you didn't spell it Dann too}}'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 15
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|RB}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|RB}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Dantheman.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:LYNCHED.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| AKA...<br>Dan "Toes Are The Best On The Lolita Express" Schneider<br>Dan "Delete All The Tweets About Little Kid's Feet" Schneider<br>Dan "Getting Quite Keen With Jeffrey Epstein" Schneider<br>Dan "Feet-Feet-Feet-F-Feetfeetfeet, Skeet-a-loadeon" Schneider<br>Dan "Watch iCarly, Then iCummy" Schneider<br>Dan "From Miranda Cosgrove to Miranda Rights" Schneider<br>Dan "I Was Despicable Me Before Miranda" Schneider
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{greentext|not understanding thought-provking and masterful Lynchkino}}<br>LYNCHED<br><br>By the way, I didn't get the ending of Mulholland Drive. Have I been filtered by Lynch? Well, off to hang myself, WATCH AND LEA-
|-
|-
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Sneed's Feed and Seed'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''I Have To...Pay Money For Art?'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 6
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"|  
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|RB}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|DMF}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:sneedfeedandseed.gif|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Oppenheimer.jpeg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| The greatest meme of all time, and the destroyer of (((comfy Simpson's threads))) (formerly reddit outposts). Now stumping /leftypol/ cucks too.
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{greentext|I-I thought we were building a rice cooker.}}<br>{{greentext|Well, technically, we are.}}
|-
|-
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Watch It Chrissy'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Mom! I've Fixed The Economy!'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 19
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"|  
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|DMF}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|DMF}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Watchitchrissy.jpeg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:FixedEcon.jpeg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| YOU'D BETTER WATCH IT, ANON.
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"|  
|-
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Anatoli "3.6 Roentgen" Dyatlov'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 36
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|CMF}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Roentgen.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| "How many goals have we conceded per game?"<br>"3.6 per game, but that's as high as PES..."<br>"3.6...not great, not terrible."<br><br>Dyatlov did nothing wrong, fuck you CCCP.
|-
|-
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Really, Raimi?'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Really, Raimi?'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 20
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 20
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|CMF}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|DMF}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Raimiwtf.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Raimiwtf.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{greentext|"What's the matter with you, kid!? You coulda stopped 9/11!"}}<br>{{greentext|"I missed the part where that's my problem."}}<br>Jesus, Raimi. Don't bring this into the MCU later.
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{greentext|"What's the matter with you, kid!? You coulda stopped 9/11!"}}<br>{{greentext|"I missed the part where that's my problem."}}<br>Jesus, Raimi. Don't bring this into the MCU later.
|-
|-
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''LYNCHED'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Dan "Deep Inside Her" Schneider'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 515
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 15
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|CMF}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|DMF}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:LYNCHED.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Dantheman.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{greentext|not understanding thought-provking and masterful Lynchkino}}<br>LYNCHED<br><br>By the way, I didn't get the ending of Mulholland Drive. Have I been filtered by Lynch? Well, off to hang myself, WATCH AND LEA-
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| AKA...<br>Dan "Toes Are The Best On The Lolita Express" Schneider<br>Dan "Delete All The Tweets About Little Kid's Feet" Schneider<br>Dan "Getting Quite Keen With Jeffrey Epstein" Schneider<br>Dan "Feet-Feet-Feet-F-Feetfeetfeet, Skeet-a-loadeon" Schneider<br>Dan "Watch iCarly, Then iCummy" Schneider<br>Dan "From Miranda Cosgrove to Miranda Rights" Schneider<br>Dan "I Was Despicable Me Before Miranda" Schneider
|-
|-
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''I'M GONNA SAY IT'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Sneed's Feed and Seed'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 5
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 6
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|LMF}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|SS}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Joker.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:sneedfeedandseed.gif|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| *HUFF HUFF* MUR-RAY, I'M FUCKING BACK *HUFF HUFF* GUESS WHAT, I'VE *HUFF* JUST READ THE UPDATED CRIME STATISTICS, WANNA HEAR MY NEW JOKE? *HUFF* WHAT MAKES UP 56% DESPITE BEING 13%? *SCREEEEEEEEEEEE* *CRASH*
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| The greatest meme of all time, and the destroyer of (((comfy Simpson's threads))) (formerly reddit outposts). Now stumping /leftypol/ cucks too.
|-
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px" scope="row"| '''Kinoplex Robert'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| 97
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| {{Position|RMF}}
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:Robert.jpg|200px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| "Anon, I'm afraid the kinoplex is closed."<br>{{greentext|"Wh-what? Since when, Robert?"}}<br>"Unfortunately, /tv/ has gone into a mandatory lockdown to combat this pandemic. You aren't wearing your mask."<br>{{greentext|"O-oh, I had no idea masks were mandatory."}}<br>"Don't worry, Anon. Here's one, courtesy of the kinoplex. We'll be reopening soon. I've already reserved tickets for Tenet, F9, and Dune, just for you. See ya real soon, Anon."<br>{{greentext|"H-heh, I'll see you soon, Rob."}}
|}
|}



Revision as of 13:33, 6 May 2023

Name Number Position Image Description
STARTERS
HOWEVER 55
  GK
Fuckslytherin.jpg "To all Gryffindors... Cheers. Cheers, my friends. It has been an honour. Cheers!"

>Dumbledore fixes his eyes on the Slytherin table, completely ignoring Ravenclaw and the other one.

"Now Slytherin... I know we have had our differences, but your ambition and hard work is truly something to behold. Admirable!"

>the Slytherins are cautious. Dumbledore usually follows up a praise with some humiliation and injustice.

"Indeed, I have a special treat for you all because of these traits. It's so good, that you'll love it despite its Muggle origin. It is a large apparatus which all of you can fit in which will confer all of you a deeply unique experience that shall benefit us all. A chamber of sorts. I have had that room over there fitted with the apparatus. Move along, children, shuffle into it now. You too, Snape."

>the Slytherins flood into the room, some cautious and some excited.

>Dumbledore slams the door shut and enchants it to be locked and airtight. He turns to the other houses.

"And that special treat? That "unique experience" the Slytherins shall all experience and you all won't?"

"..."

"...Why, it's... DEATH! FUCK SLYTHERIN! THE FINAL SOLUTION TO THE SLYTHERIN MENACE BEGINS NOW! PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL, TURN ON THE GAS! YES, YES, WELL DONE, SLYTHERIN! WELL DONE SLYTHERIN FOR DYING SO WELL! SIX MILLION POINTS TO A HOUSE THAT SHALL CEASE TO EXIST IN 5 MINUTES!"

>he said calmly. Dumbledore's mouth foams during his blood-crazed tirade, the hall erupts into applause and a massive, inter-house orgy ensues. The Slytherins begin dying in the gas chamber. As Malfoy chokes on his own blood, Harry proves himself to be a sexual dominant member of the orgy.

>Dumbledore looks on with pride.

>Years later Harry Potter tells recounts these events to his son, Albus, at bedtime, with Ginny smiling warmly at the memory.

"And that's how Dumbledore exterminated the Slytherin scum. HEIL GODRIC! Dumbledore truly was the greatest headmaster of them all, and a good friend."

What About His Tax Policy
  LB
File:TaxPolicy.jpg You can have all the pointless, shitty arguments about [insert franchise here but mostly Lord of the Rings] all you want, but one question trumps all when establishing the profile of any dictator, king, leader or oligarch in your fantasy setting: what about his tax policy?
Days Until Avatar 3
  CB
File:AvatarPepe.jpg It's over. The countdown finally ended after several year-long setbacks.

And now we wait once more.
K I N O 0
  CB
KINO.jpg ABSOLUTE FUCKING KINOGRAPHY.
Also known as the most versatile word on /tv/. Kino can be anything and come from anywhere, just as long as /tv/ holds high praise for it.
I'M GONNA SAY IT 5
  RB
Joker.jpg *HUFF HUFF* MUR-RAAAAAAAAAY, YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD KEEP ME DOWN? WELL *HUFF* IT'S TIME FOR A FOLIE A DEUX, MUR-RAY! I'VE GOT A FEW MORE JO- *SCREEEEEEEEEEEE* *CRASH*
Mike "White Power Every Hour" Stoklasa 17
  DMF
Mikeampf.jpg AKA Mike "Pulling the Trigger on Every Nigger" Stoklasa, AKA Mike "Kike Killer" Stoklasa, AKA Mike "Gook Nuke" Stoklasa.
Kinoplex Robert 97
  CMF
Robert.jpg "Welcome back, Anon. I've just received the good word that the pandemic is over."
>"Thank God, eh?"
"And just in time for a great summer of kino, Anon. I've already reserved tickets for Oppenheimer, Fast X, and Dune Part 2, just for you. But I imagine you're in for a special kino tonight?"
>"Y-yes indeed. One ticket to Barbie, please. Crab legs, extra butter."
Real Human Being 1
  CMF
Realhumanbeing.jpg And a real hero.
Frank "Sheev" Palpatine Captain 66
  SS
Sheev.jpg He must be Frank (aliases include The Senate, Darth Sidious, and Oltha Sith, grandfather of Oltha Jedi).
Oscar Winner Brendan Fraser 11
  CF
BrendanFraser.jpg It's over. He's unJUSTed.
FOR YOU 4U
  CF
Bane.jpg U U U U
SUBSTITUTES
High Ground 12
  GK
Highground.jpg He has the physical high ground, as well as the moral high ground. It's like pottery.
Watch It Chrissy 19
  LB
Watchitchrissy.jpeg YOU'D BETTER WATCH IT, ANON.
Gul Dukat 9
  CB
GULDUKAT.jpg MAKE CARDASSIA GREAT AGAIN
Rick Deckard 49
  CB
GODDAMNIT.jpg LONELY AND HORNY.
Absolute and Utter State of Doctor Who 10
  CB
Blackwho.png AYO I'S THE ORIGINAL DOCTA I AIN'T FINNA BE NO WHITE MAN NO MORE, LEZ DO DIS WIBBLEH WOBBLEH TIMEH WIMEH STUFF, DAS RITE.
LYNCHED 515
  RB
LYNCHED.jpg >not understanding thought-provking and masterful Lynchkino
LYNCHED

By the way, I didn't get the ending of Mulholland Drive. Have I been filtered by Lynch? Well, off to hang myself, WATCH AND LEA-
I Have To...Pay Money For Art?
  DMF
File:Oppenheimer.jpeg >I-I thought we were building a rice cooker.
>Well, technically, we are.
Mom! I've Fixed The Economy!
  DMF
File:FixedEcon.jpeg
Anatoli "3.6 Roentgen" Dyatlov 36
  CMF
Roentgen.jpg "How many goals have we conceded per game?"
"3.6 per game, but that's as high as PES..."
"3.6...not great, not terrible."

Dyatlov did nothing wrong, fuck you CCCP.
Really, Raimi? 20
  DMF
Raimiwtf.jpg >"What's the matter with you, kid!? You coulda stopped 9/11!"
>"I missed the part where that's my problem."
Jesus, Raimi. Don't bring this into the MCU later.
Dan "Deep Inside Her" Schneider 15
  DMF
Dantheman.jpg AKA...
Dan "Toes Are The Best On The Lolita Express" Schneider
Dan "Delete All The Tweets About Little Kid's Feet" Schneider
Dan "Getting Quite Keen With Jeffrey Epstein" Schneider
Dan "Feet-Feet-Feet-F-Feetfeetfeet, Skeet-a-loadeon" Schneider
Dan "Watch iCarly, Then iCummy" Schneider
Dan "From Miranda Cosgrove to Miranda Rights" Schneider
Dan "I Was Despicable Me Before Miranda" Schneider
Sneed's Feed and Seed 6
  SS
Sneedfeedandseed.gif The greatest meme of all time, and the destroyer of (((comfy Simpson's threads))) (formerly reddit outposts). Now stumping /leftypol/ cucks too.


Former players (WIP)

Name Last Cup Image Description
*record scratch* 2016 4chan Winter Cup File:Recordscratch.jpg *record scratch*
*freeze frame*
Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering how I got kicked off the team. Well, it all began back in 2016 when...
Andreas Lubitz 2015 4chan Spring Babby Cup Lubitz.jpg Crashed out of the team with no survivors.
Armond White 2013 4chan Spring Babby Cup File:Armond.jpg The official critic of /tv/, a man who appreciates film from the /tv/ point of view: contrarianism. Kicked off the team for bringing his contrarian ways to the pitch by not participating in the game, which he called "slavery to the rich white man".
BLACKED 2018 4chan Summer Cup File:BLACKED.jpg Removed from the team when the jannies came to investigate.
Capeshit 2019 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Qualifiers Endgame.jpg Kicked off the team after coming into a 2.8 billion dollar windfall.
/cel/ 2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup File:Cel.jpg Left in search of becoming a real board.
Cleganebowl 2017 4chan Summer Cup Cleganebowl.jpg Left the team to actually take place. Barred from coming back after occurring during the shitfest that was the final season.
Crab Legs 2013 4chan Spring Babby Cup File:Crablegs.jpg Caught and prepared fresh at Robert's Kinoplex. Lives on as part of Robert's spirit.
Eagles 2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup File:LOTReagles.jpg Let go after the manager decided that his unorthodox playstyle of "disappearing until the very end of the game to bail /tv/ out" was considered too risky.
FUCKEN DROPPED 2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup File:FUCKENDROPPED.jpg Fucken' dropped.
George Lucas 2012 4chan Summer Cup File:Georgelucas.jpg Hired on the basis that he was the key to victory, but much like Jar Jar, was a major disappointment with the fans.
Ghost of Peter O'Toole 2015 4chan Spring Babby Cup PeterOToole.jpg Left in search of his sticky.
Heat Legend 2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup File:Heatlegend.jpg when were you when heat legend sacks

i was sat at home eating crab leg when rob ring

'heat is sack'

'no'

for you????????????
JDIMSA 2017 4chan Summer Cup Jdimsa.png Died in his sleep.
Loner Cinephile 2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup File:Lonercinephile.png Failed to turn up at /tv/'s end-of-cup trip to Robert's Kinoplex and was subsequently fucken dropped. Reported sightings of him attending the kinoplex alone continued up until the COVID-19 pandemic.
Muhammad Bin Al-Ah'Falek 2016 4chan Winter Cup Affleck.jpg Pursued the Muslim faith he defended after the embarrassing "German expressionist kino" that was Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice.
Now This Is Podracing 2012 4chan Summer Cup File:Podracing.png Abducted by the Queen of Naboo. May have been in contact with High Ground recently.
Problem Child 2 2019 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Qualifiers Problemchild2.jpg The greatest film of all time. Dropped after more than seven years of service.
Ron Perlman 2012 4chan Summer Cup File:Perlman.png Left the team for unknown reasons, no longer wanted after glimpsing his tweets to Donald Trump.
Skeksis Chamberlain File:Skeksis.jpg Acknowledging a so-called Gelfling genocide, hmmmmmm?
Super Leia 2019 4chan Winter Cup File:Superleia.png Returned to the Resistance after learning that...*sigh*, somehow, Palpatine returned. Not slated to return to the team until digitally reconstructed by the Mouse (again).
The REAL Captain Marvel 2019 4chan Spring Babby Cup Shazam.jpg Everybody forgot about his movie after Endgame came out.
Uno Farto 2016 4chan Summer Cup File:UNOFARTO.jpg Farted too hard and shat himself against [s4s] after seeing Keksandra's feet, forcing a halftime substitution. Left the team when the replay went viral and "Uno farto @ 3:17" filled the comments section.
WITNESS ME 2015 4chan Summer Cup File:WITNESS.jpg Rode eternal, shiny and chrome, to Valhalla.
>YIFY 2015 4chan Summer Cup Yify.jpg Pussied out after the sheepfuckers slapped him with a lawsuit.
ZIMBABWE 2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup File:Zimbabwe.jpg Kicked off the team after his omnipresent forced laugh track proved too irritating even for /tv/.