Difference between revisions of "/cfc/"

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{{sq player |no=23 |pos={{NewPosition|CMF|type=1}} |name=Offsideolas Yellowcardson}}
{{sq player |no=23 |pos={{NewPosition|CMF|type=1}} |name=Offsideolas Yellowcardson}}
{{sq end}}
{{sq end}}
== Detailed squad ==
{|{{Prettytable}}
|-
|style="font-size:90%;" width="40px" align="center"|'''Sub'''
|style="background:#C3D69B; font-size:90%;" width="40px" align="center"|'''Starter'''
|style="background:#C0C0C0; font-size:90%;" width="40px" align="center"|'''Silver'''
|style="background:#EDDA74; font-size:90%;" width="40px" align="center"|'''Gold'''
|style="background:#8C7853; font-size:90%;" width="40px" align="center"|'''Bronze'''
|-
|}
===Goalkeepers===
{| class="wikitable" width=80%
|-
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Pos.
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| No.
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Name
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Picture
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Description
|-bgcolor="C3D69B"
|" align="center"|{{Position|GK}}
| 1
| '''Dinosaur Arms'''
!style="align:center;"| [[File:kepa.jpg|x200px]]
| Imagine replacing the best goalkeeper in the world by paying 70 million for a manlet with t-rex arms... then giving him a 7 year contract... haha... couldnt be chelsea...
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF"
|" align="center"|{{Position|GK}}
| 13
| '''Snake'''
!style="align:center;"| [[File:courtois.jpg|x200px]]
| The said best goalkeeper in the world who essentially forced Chelsea to sign fucking Kepa by wanting to leave with a few days left of the transfer window
|}
===Defenders===
{| class="wikitable" width=80%
|-
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Pos.
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| No.
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Name
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Picture
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Description
|-bgcolor="C3D69B"
| {{Position|LB}}
| 21
| '''Permanent Injury #1'''
!style="align:center;"| [[File:chilwell.jpg|x200px]]
| Chelsea's best full backs are essential for a good season. Too fucking bad they both get injured for 3-4 months at the same time every season :^))))
|-bgcolor="C3D69B"
| {{Position|RB}}
| 24
| '''Permanent Injury #2'''
!style="align:center;"| [[File:james.jpg|x200px]]
| See above
|-bgcolor="C3D69B"
| {{Position|CB}}
| 26
| '''*FUCKS YOUR WIFE*'''
!style="align:center;"| [[File:jt.jpg|x200px]]
| Booed at every stadium, John Terry had reportedly been fucking the wife of a former teammate in 2009 (which the tabloids later apologized for reporting). Has been the subject of many shenanigans in his career.
|-bgcolor="C3D69B"
| {{Position|CB}}
| 30
| '''David Lulz'''
!style="align:center;"| [[File:davidlulz.jpg|x200px]]
| At his best this Sideshow Bob lookalike was world class, at his worst a total clown. Notably captained Brazil during their 7-1 loss to Germany.
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF"
| {{Position|CB}}
| 6
| '''Grandpa'''
!style="align:center;"| [[File:thiagosilva.png|x200px]]
| Nearly 40 years old but still a class CB. Notably absent during Brazil's 7-1 loss to Germany.
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF"
| {{Position|CB}}
| 76
| '''Daddy Boehly'''
!style="align:center;"| [[File:boehly.jpg|x200px]]
| Chelsea's new owner. Has in a measly 2 years gained a reputation as a retarded money waster, with Chelsea spending over a billion pounds on transfers during his reign (just to finish 10th)
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF"
| {{Position|CB}}
| 32
| '''Daddy Roman'''
!style="align:center;"| [[File:roman.jpg|x250px]]
| Before Daddy Boehly started spending, it was Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich who was throwing money around. Known for being the one who started the whole "money ruining football" thing when he bought the club in 2003. Ultimately the Great Banan War of 2022 forced him to sell the club as he was hit with sanctions (that even Zelensky requested not go through).
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF"
| {{Position|CB}}
| 9/11
| '''Thomas Taliban'''
!style="align:center;"|[[File:tucheliban.png|250px|center]]
| You vill enjoy ze ultra-defensive zree vor zree
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF"
|}
===Midfield===
{| class="wikitable" width=80%
|-
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Pos.
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| No.
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Name
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Picture
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Description
|-bgcolor="C3D69B"
|" align="center"|{{Position|DMF}}
| 7
| '''N'GOALO'''
!style="align:center;"| [[File:kante.jpg|x200px]]
| Not just one of the most likable players of all time, N'golo Kante was also an incredible ball winner.
|-bgcolor="C3D69B"
|" align="center"|{{Position|DMF}}
| 22
| '''PASHUN LAD'''
!style="align:center;"| [[File:gallagher.jpg|x200px]]
| Can't shoot? Can't pass? Barely any technical ability whatsoever? No need, just play with passion! go on gallagher lad run sam fakin miles
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF"
|" align="center"|{{Position|DMF}}
| 17
| '''BOSS'''
!style="align:center;"| [[File:sterling.jpg|x200px]]
| Doesn't matter if you're shit when you're taking home 325 000 pounds a week
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF"
|" align="center"|{{Position|DMF}}
| 0
| '''THE GHOST OF SHAKHTAR'''
!style="align:center;"| [[File:mudryk.jpg|x200px]]
| Pace, technique and no fucking brains is a great way to be useless
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF"
|" align="center"|{{Position|DMF}}
| 18
| '''heh... my boy GRoudz...'''
!style="align:center;"| [[File:giroud.jpg|x200px]]
| The most handsome man in the world just needs some time
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF"
|" align="center"|{{Position|DMF}}
| 4
| '''SEX FABREGAS'''
!style="align:center;"| [[File:fabregas.jpg|x200px]]
| Hit the sexiest passes you can imagine
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF"
|" align="center"|{{Position|CMF}}
| 25
| '''{{greentext|115 million for some ngubu}}'''
!style="align:center;"| [[File:caicedo.jpg|x200px]]
| spend big money on unproven players, thanks burgers
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF"
|" align="center"|{{Position|CMF}}
| 15
| '''Offsideolas Yellowcardson'''
!style="align:center;"| [[File:jackson.png|x200px]]
| Not only is Nickolas Jackson offside at least 5 times per match, he's also picked up 9 yellow cards with only 1 being for something contact related
|-bgcolor="C0C0C0"
|" align="center"|{{Position|CMF}}
| 19
| '''FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT'''
!style="align:center;"| [[File:diego.jpg|x200px]]
| If any form of tussle was starting up, you better believe Diego Costa was at the center of it
|-bgcolor="C0C0C0"
|" align="center"|{{Position|CMF}}
| 8
| '''Fat Frank'''
!style="align:center;"| [[File:diego.jpg|x200px]]
| Frank Lampard had everything; even too much to eat
|}
===Forwards===
{| class="wikitable" width=80%
|-
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| No.
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Pos
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Name
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Picture
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Description
|-bgcolor="C0C0C0"
|" align="center"|{{Position|SS}}
| 9
| '''TORRES TORRES TORRES'''
!style="align:center;"| [[File:torres.jpg|x200px]]
| TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES
|-bgcolor="EDDA74"
|" align="center"|{{Position|SS}}
| 10
| '''Eden Fatzard'''
!style="align:center;"| [[File:fatzard.jpg|x200px]]
| One of the greatest natural talents football has ever seen. Also very talented at running to a burger stand after a match.
|-bgcolor="EDDA74"
|" align="center"|{{Position|CF}}
| 11
| '''DROGBA'''
!style="align:center;"| [[File:drogba.jpg|x200px]]
| A 190cm 90kg pure African monster who was every defender's worst nightmare.
|}

Revision as of 22:13, 21 February 2024

/cfc/
FUCK ARSENAL, FUCK LIVERPOOL, FUCK TOTTENHAM
Cfc logo.png
/cfc/ - Chelshit Football Club
Founded March 1905
IRL manager gimi !!cwmWrzo53n+
Team colors
Chat color 034694
Royal Blue
Top scorer N/A (N/A)
Top assister N/A (N/A)
Captain DROGBA
Website /cfc/ - Chelshit Football Club
Nickname The Blues
The Pensioners
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY
0 0 0 0 0%
GF GA GD
0 0 0
Biggest win
TBD TBD icon.png 0–0 TBD icon.png TBD
Month Day, Year
Biggest defeat
TBD TBD icon.png 0–0 TBD icon.png TBD
Month Day, Year
First match
TBD TBD icon.png 0–0 TBD icon.png TBD
Month Day, Year
Team music
Anthem The Liquidator
Victory Anthem Blue is the Colour
Goal horn Loadsamoney
Kits


some mid table team from the eplel idk

Squad

No. Position Player
1
GK
Dinosaur Arms
26
CB
*Fucks your wife*
30
CB
David Lulz
6
CB
Grandpa
7
DMF
N'Goalo
22
DMF
Pashun Lad
8
CMF
Fat Frank
4
CMF
Sex Fabregas
9
SS
TORRES TORRES TORRES
10
SS
Eden Fatzard
11
CF
DROGBA Captain
No. Position Player
13
GK
Snake
21
LB
Permanent Injury #1
24
RB
Permanent Injury #2
76
CB
Daddy Boehly
32
CB
Daddy Roman
91
CB
THOMAS TALIBAN
0
DMF
The Ghost of Shakhtar
18
DMF
heh... my boy GRoudz...
17
DMF
BOSS
20
DMF
Captain Americal
11
CMF
>115 million for some Ngubu
23
CMF
Offsideolas Yellowcardson

Detailed squad

Sub Starter Silver Gold Bronze

Goalkeepers

Pos. No. Name Picture Description
  GK
1 Dinosaur Arms File:Kepa.jpg Imagine replacing the best goalkeeper in the world by paying 70 million for a manlet with t-rex arms... then giving him a 7 year contract... haha... couldnt be chelsea...
  GK
13 Snake File:Courtois.jpg The said best goalkeeper in the world who essentially forced Chelsea to sign fucking Kepa by wanting to leave with a few days left of the transfer window

Defenders

Pos. No. Name Picture Description
  LB
21 Permanent Injury #1 File:Chilwell.jpg Chelsea's best full backs are essential for a good season. Too fucking bad they both get injured for 3-4 months at the same time every season :^))))
  RB
24 Permanent Injury #2 File:James.jpg See above
  CB
26 *FUCKS YOUR WIFE* File:Jt.jpg Booed at every stadium, John Terry had reportedly been fucking the wife of a former teammate in 2009 (which the tabloids later apologized for reporting). Has been the subject of many shenanigans in his career.
  CB
30 David Lulz File:Davidlulz.jpg At his best this Sideshow Bob lookalike was world class, at his worst a total clown. Notably captained Brazil during their 7-1 loss to Germany.
  CB
6 Grandpa Thiagosilva.png Nearly 40 years old but still a class CB. Notably absent during Brazil's 7-1 loss to Germany.
  CB
76 Daddy Boehly File:Boehly.jpg Chelsea's new owner. Has in a measly 2 years gained a reputation as a retarded money waster, with Chelsea spending over a billion pounds on transfers during his reign (just to finish 10th)
  CB
32 Daddy Roman File:Roman.jpg Before Daddy Boehly started spending, it was Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich who was throwing money around. Known for being the one who started the whole "money ruining football" thing when he bought the club in 2003. Ultimately the Great Banan War of 2022 forced him to sell the club as he was hit with sanctions (that even Zelensky requested not go through).
  CB
9/11 Thomas Taliban
File:Tucheliban.png
 You vill enjoy ze ultra-defensive zree vor zree

Midfield

Pos. No. Name Picture Description
  DMF
7 N'GOALO File:Kante.jpg Not just one of the most likable players of all time, N'golo Kante was also an incredible ball winner.
  DMF
22 PASHUN LAD File:Gallagher.jpg Can't shoot? Can't pass? Barely any technical ability whatsoever? No need, just play with passion! go on gallagher lad run sam fakin miles
  DMF
17 BOSS File:Sterling.jpg Doesn't matter if you're shit when you're taking home 325 000 pounds a week
  DMF
0 THE GHOST OF SHAKHTAR File:Mudryk.jpg Pace, technique and no fucking brains is a great way to be useless
  DMF
18 heh... my boy GRoudz... File:Giroud.jpg The most handsome man in the world just needs some time
  DMF
4 SEX FABREGAS File:Fabregas.jpg Hit the sexiest passes you can imagine
  CMF
25 >115 million for some ngubu File:Caicedo.jpg spend big money on unproven players, thanks burgers
  CMF
15 Offsideolas Yellowcardson Jackson.png Not only is Nickolas Jackson offside at least 5 times per match, he's also picked up 9 yellow cards with only 1 being for something contact related
  CMF
19 FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT File:Diego.jpg If any form of tussle was starting up, you better believe Diego Costa was at the center of it
  CMF
8 Fat Frank File:Diego.jpg Frank Lampard had everything; even too much to eat

Forwards

No. Pos Name Picture Description
  SS
9 TORRES TORRES TORRES File:Torres.jpg TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES
  SS
10 Eden Fatzard File:Fatzard.jpg One of the greatest natural talents football has ever seen. Also very talented at running to a burger stand after a match.
  CF
11 DROGBA File:Drogba.jpg A 190cm 90kg pure African monster who was every defender's worst nightmare.
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