Difference between revisions of "/cfc/"
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{{sq player |no=23 |pos={{NewPosition|CMF|type=1}} |name=Offsideolas Yellowcardson}} | {{sq player |no=23 |pos={{NewPosition|CMF|type=1}} |name=Offsideolas Yellowcardson}} | ||
{{sq end}} | {{sq end}} | ||
== Detailed squad == | |||
{|{{Prettytable}} | |||
|- | |||
|style="font-size:90%;" width="40px" align="center"|'''Sub''' | |||
|style="background:#C3D69B; font-size:90%;" width="40px" align="center"|'''Starter''' | |||
|style="background:#C0C0C0; font-size:90%;" width="40px" align="center"|'''Silver''' | |||
|style="background:#EDDA74; font-size:90%;" width="40px" align="center"|'''Gold''' | |||
|style="background:#8C7853; font-size:90%;" width="40px" align="center"|'''Bronze''' | |||
|- | |||
|} | |||
===Goalkeepers=== | |||
{| class="wikitable" width=80% | |||
|- | |||
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Pos. | |||
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| No. | |||
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Name | |||
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Picture | |||
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Description | |||
|-bgcolor="C3D69B" | |||
|" align="center"|{{Position|GK}} | |||
| 1 | |||
| '''Dinosaur Arms''' | |||
!style="align:center;"| [[File:kepa.jpg|x200px]] | |||
| Imagine replacing the best goalkeeper in the world by paying 70 million for a manlet with t-rex arms... then giving him a 7 year contract... haha... couldnt be chelsea... | |||
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF" | |||
|" align="center"|{{Position|GK}} | |||
| 13 | |||
| '''Snake''' | |||
!style="align:center;"| [[File:courtois.jpg|x200px]] | |||
| The said best goalkeeper in the world who essentially forced Chelsea to sign fucking Kepa by wanting to leave with a few days left of the transfer window | |||
|} | |||
===Defenders=== | |||
{| class="wikitable" width=80% | |||
|- | |||
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Pos. | |||
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| No. | |||
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Name | |||
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Picture | |||
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Description | |||
|-bgcolor="C3D69B" | |||
| {{Position|LB}} | |||
| 21 | |||
| '''Permanent Injury #1''' | |||
!style="align:center;"| [[File:chilwell.jpg|x200px]] | |||
| Chelsea's best full backs are essential for a good season. Too fucking bad they both get injured for 3-4 months at the same time every season :^)))) | |||
|-bgcolor="C3D69B" | |||
| {{Position|RB}} | |||
| 24 | |||
| '''Permanent Injury #2''' | |||
!style="align:center;"| [[File:james.jpg|x200px]] | |||
| See above | |||
|-bgcolor="C3D69B" | |||
| {{Position|CB}} | |||
| 26 | |||
| '''*FUCKS YOUR WIFE*''' | |||
!style="align:center;"| [[File:jt.jpg|x200px]] | |||
| Booed at every stadium, John Terry had reportedly been fucking the wife of a former teammate in 2009 (which the tabloids later apologized for reporting). Has been the subject of many shenanigans in his career. | |||
|-bgcolor="C3D69B" | |||
| {{Position|CB}} | |||
| 30 | |||
| '''David Lulz''' | |||
!style="align:center;"| [[File:davidlulz.jpg|x200px]] | |||
| At his best this Sideshow Bob lookalike was world class, at his worst a total clown. Notably captained Brazil during their 7-1 loss to Germany. | |||
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF" | |||
| {{Position|CB}} | |||
| 6 | |||
| '''Grandpa''' | |||
!style="align:center;"| [[File:thiagosilva.png|x200px]] | |||
| Nearly 40 years old but still a class CB. Notably absent during Brazil's 7-1 loss to Germany. | |||
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF" | |||
| {{Position|CB}} | |||
| 76 | |||
| '''Daddy Boehly''' | |||
!style="align:center;"| [[File:boehly.jpg|x200px]] | |||
| Chelsea's new owner. Has in a measly 2 years gained a reputation as a retarded money waster, with Chelsea spending over a billion pounds on transfers during his reign (just to finish 10th) | |||
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF" | |||
| {{Position|CB}} | |||
| 32 | |||
| '''Daddy Roman''' | |||
!style="align:center;"| [[File:roman.jpg|x250px]] | |||
| Before Daddy Boehly started spending, it was Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich who was throwing money around. Known for being the one who started the whole "money ruining football" thing when he bought the club in 2003. Ultimately the Great Banan War of 2022 forced him to sell the club as he was hit with sanctions (that even Zelensky requested not go through). | |||
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF" | |||
| {{Position|CB}} | |||
| 9/11 | |||
| '''Thomas Taliban''' | |||
!style="align:center;"|[[File:tucheliban.png|250px|center]] | |||
| You vill enjoy ze ultra-defensive zree vor zree | |||
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF" | |||
|} | |||
===Midfield=== | |||
{| class="wikitable" width=80% | |||
|- | |||
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Pos. | |||
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| No. | |||
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Name | |||
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Picture | |||
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Description | |||
|-bgcolor="C3D69B" | |||
|" align="center"|{{Position|DMF}} | |||
| 7 | |||
| '''N'GOALO''' | |||
!style="align:center;"| [[File:kante.jpg|x200px]] | |||
| Not just one of the most likable players of all time, N'golo Kante was also an incredible ball winner. | |||
|-bgcolor="C3D69B" | |||
|" align="center"|{{Position|DMF}} | |||
| 22 | |||
| '''PASHUN LAD''' | |||
!style="align:center;"| [[File:gallagher.jpg|x200px]] | |||
| Can't shoot? Can't pass? Barely any technical ability whatsoever? No need, just play with passion! go on gallagher lad run sam fakin miles | |||
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF" | |||
|" align="center"|{{Position|DMF}} | |||
| 17 | |||
| '''BOSS''' | |||
!style="align:center;"| [[File:sterling.jpg|x200px]] | |||
| Doesn't matter if you're shit when you're taking home 325 000 pounds a week | |||
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF" | |||
|" align="center"|{{Position|DMF}} | |||
| 0 | |||
| '''THE GHOST OF SHAKHTAR''' | |||
!style="align:center;"| [[File:mudryk.jpg|x200px]] | |||
| Pace, technique and no fucking brains is a great way to be useless | |||
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF" | |||
|" align="center"|{{Position|DMF}} | |||
| 18 | |||
| '''heh... my boy GRoudz...''' | |||
!style="align:center;"| [[File:giroud.jpg|x200px]] | |||
| The most handsome man in the world just needs some time | |||
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF" | |||
|" align="center"|{{Position|DMF}} | |||
| 4 | |||
| '''SEX FABREGAS''' | |||
!style="align:center;"| [[File:fabregas.jpg|x200px]] | |||
| Hit the sexiest passes you can imagine | |||
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF" | |||
|" align="center"|{{Position|CMF}} | |||
| 25 | |||
| '''{{greentext|115 million for some ngubu}}''' | |||
!style="align:center;"| [[File:caicedo.jpg|x200px]] | |||
| spend big money on unproven players, thanks burgers | |||
|-bgcolor="FFFFFF" | |||
|" align="center"|{{Position|CMF}} | |||
| 15 | |||
| '''Offsideolas Yellowcardson''' | |||
!style="align:center;"| [[File:jackson.png|x200px]] | |||
| Not only is Nickolas Jackson offside at least 5 times per match, he's also picked up 9 yellow cards with only 1 being for something contact related | |||
|-bgcolor="C0C0C0" | |||
|" align="center"|{{Position|CMF}} | |||
| 19 | |||
| '''FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT''' | |||
!style="align:center;"| [[File:diego.jpg|x200px]] | |||
| If any form of tussle was starting up, you better believe Diego Costa was at the center of it | |||
|-bgcolor="C0C0C0" | |||
|" align="center"|{{Position|CMF}} | |||
| 8 | |||
| '''Fat Frank''' | |||
!style="align:center;"| [[File:diego.jpg|x200px]] | |||
| Frank Lampard had everything; even too much to eat | |||
|} | |||
===Forwards=== | |||
{| class="wikitable" width=80% | |||
|- | |||
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| No. | |||
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Pos | |||
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Name | |||
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Picture | |||
!style="background:#cccccc;color:#000000"| Description | |||
|-bgcolor="C0C0C0" | |||
|" align="center"|{{Position|SS}} | |||
| 9 | |||
| '''TORRES TORRES TORRES''' | |||
!style="align:center;"| [[File:torres.jpg|x200px]] | |||
| TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES | |||
|-bgcolor="EDDA74" | |||
|" align="center"|{{Position|SS}} | |||
| 10 | |||
| '''Eden Fatzard''' | |||
!style="align:center;"| [[File:fatzard.jpg|x200px]] | |||
| One of the greatest natural talents football has ever seen. Also very talented at running to a burger stand after a match. | |||
|-bgcolor="EDDA74" | |||
|" align="center"|{{Position|CF}} | |||
| 11 | |||
| '''DROGBA''' | |||
!style="align:center;"| [[File:drogba.jpg|x200px]] | |||
| A 190cm 90kg pure African monster who was every defender's worst nightmare. | |||
|} |
Revision as of 22:13, 21 February 2024
/cfc/ | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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FUCK ARSENAL, FUCK LIVERPOOL, FUCK TOTTENHAM | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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/cfc/ - Chelshit Football Club | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Historic performance | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Team music | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Kits | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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some mid table team from the eplel idk
Squad
|
|
Detailed squad
Sub | Starter | Silver | Gold | Bronze |
Goalkeepers
Pos. | No. | Name | Picture | Description | ||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
1 | Dinosaur Arms | File:Kepa.jpg | Imagine replacing the best goalkeeper in the world by paying 70 million for a manlet with t-rex arms... then giving him a 7 year contract... haha... couldnt be chelsea... | ||
|
13 | Snake | File:Courtois.jpg | The said best goalkeeper in the world who essentially forced Chelsea to sign fucking Kepa by wanting to leave with a few days left of the transfer window |
Defenders
Pos. | No. | Name | Picture | Description | ||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
21 | Permanent Injury #1 | File:Chilwell.jpg | Chelsea's best full backs are essential for a good season. Too fucking bad they both get injured for 3-4 months at the same time every season :^)))) | ||
|
24 | Permanent Injury #2 | File:James.jpg | See above | ||
|
26 | *FUCKS YOUR WIFE* | File:Jt.jpg | Booed at every stadium, John Terry had reportedly been fucking the wife of a former teammate in 2009 (which the tabloids later apologized for reporting). Has been the subject of many shenanigans in his career. | ||
|
30 | David Lulz | File:Davidlulz.jpg | At his best this Sideshow Bob lookalike was world class, at his worst a total clown. Notably captained Brazil during their 7-1 loss to Germany. | ||
|
6 | Grandpa | ![]() |
Nearly 40 years old but still a class CB. Notably absent during Brazil's 7-1 loss to Germany. | ||
|
76 | Daddy Boehly | File:Boehly.jpg | Chelsea's new owner. Has in a measly 2 years gained a reputation as a retarded money waster, with Chelsea spending over a billion pounds on transfers during his reign (just to finish 10th) | ||
|
32 | Daddy Roman | File:Roman.jpg | Before Daddy Boehly started spending, it was Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich who was throwing money around. Known for being the one who started the whole "money ruining football" thing when he bought the club in 2003. Ultimately the Great Banan War of 2022 forced him to sell the club as he was hit with sanctions (that even Zelensky requested not go through). | ||
|
9/11 | Thomas Taliban | You vill enjoy ze ultra-defensive zree vor zree |
Midfield
Pos. | No. | Name | Picture | Description | ||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
7 | N'GOALO | File:Kante.jpg | Not just one of the most likable players of all time, N'golo Kante was also an incredible ball winner. | ||
|
22 | PASHUN LAD | File:Gallagher.jpg | Can't shoot? Can't pass? Barely any technical ability whatsoever? No need, just play with passion! go on gallagher lad run sam fakin miles | ||
|
17 | BOSS | File:Sterling.jpg | Doesn't matter if you're shit when you're taking home 325 000 pounds a week | ||
|
0 | THE GHOST OF SHAKHTAR | File:Mudryk.jpg | Pace, technique and no fucking brains is a great way to be useless | ||
|
18 | heh... my boy GRoudz... | File:Giroud.jpg | The most handsome man in the world just needs some time | ||
|
4 | SEX FABREGAS | File:Fabregas.jpg | Hit the sexiest passes you can imagine | ||
|
25 | >115 million for some ngubu | File:Caicedo.jpg | spend big money on unproven players, thanks burgers | ||
|
15 | Offsideolas Yellowcardson | ![]() |
Not only is Nickolas Jackson offside at least 5 times per match, he's also picked up 9 yellow cards with only 1 being for something contact related | ||
|
19 | FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT | File:Diego.jpg | If any form of tussle was starting up, you better believe Diego Costa was at the center of it | ||
|
8 | Fat Frank | File:Diego.jpg | Frank Lampard had everything; even too much to eat |
Forwards
No. | Pos | Name | Picture | Description | ||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
9 | TORRES TORRES TORRES | File:Torres.jpg | TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES | ||
|
10 | Eden Fatzard | File:Fatzard.jpg | One of the greatest natural talents football has ever seen. Also very talented at running to a burger stand after a match. | ||
|
11 | DROGBA | File:Drogba.jpg | A 190cm 90kg pure African monster who was every defender's worst nightmare. |