/u/ roster

/u/ Current roster. Old rosters can be found here: /u/ Historical Rosters

Main Roster

Starting 11

Position	No.	Name	Image	Description	Explanation	Nationality	Shirt name
GK	77	Madokami		She Who Saves, a stalwart of the /u/ team from it's inception. Originally intending to keep a watchful eye on Akemi Homura, her utter failure to prevent her transformation into Homucifer has steeled her resolve to let nothing past her, so that no magical girl divegrass fan would ever have to feel despair ever again.	Madoka Kaname is the main character from the anime series Puella Magi Madoka Magica. Her actions during the anime series resulted in her becoming a deity-like entity, removed from the material plane. A goddess of sorts, her objective is saving Magical Girls from becoming the horrible monsters known as Witches. 'Madokami' is a portmanteau of 'Madoka' and 'kami' ('god')	Japan	Kaname
LB	13	How Three Magical Girls Have Sex In A Dollhouse		Toymakers never seem to include this important detail (and don't let Korisu watch when it happens)	'How two girls have sex' is not exactly common knowledge and it isn't a topic explained in most school health classes. This leads to the (sadly realistic) meme of girls having to search for this information online. Variations of this meme change the number of girls, adds a specific locale, or are more 'innocent' (such as 'what do two girls do beyond kissing'). The variation featured, 'How three girls have sex in a dollhouse', is from NeroAlice's ability to trap girls in dollhouses for them to have sex in.	Japan	FUCKING INTENSE
CB	2	Goggles		Capable of spinning an entire tragic love story out of a single meeting of eyes! Willing to ignore all types of denial when a single hand has been held! Nothing gets past Goggles!	When a person sees a full blown romantic attraction between two girls when no or very few hints of romance are actually presented in the work, that person is wearing 'yuri goggles'. For the longest time, this is all the yuri fanbase had to work with, as authors were content to leave those attractions ambiguous. This is somewhat less common in modern times, where authors are more willing to present romantic attractions between girls and make them more obvious, but the yuri goggles still see use now and then.	Japan	Yurivision
CB	18	Onee-sama		Less a single person and more a representation of what thousands of young lesbians fawn over every day, The Onee-sama is one of the founding tenements of lesbianism. She has taken to being a Center Back for /u/ because she's quite experienced at being the center of a person's world.	The concept of the 'onee-sama' has existed in Japan since at least 1913, where a large number of single sex schools were founded by religious organizations. These schools fostered bonds of admiration between younger students ('kouhai') and older ones ('senpai'). This concept was used and made popular by Maria-sama ga Miteru (Maria Watches Over Us, Marimite for short), where younger students (called 'petite soeur', 'younger sister') are 'adopted' by older students. The phrase used to refer to these older students, 'grande soeur', means 'older sister', and it was a short jump from that to 'onee-sama' ('respected older sister'). The girl pictured, Sachiko Ogasawara, is the 'onee-sama' par excellence in Marimite.	Japan	Onee-samaaaa
RB	5	Science Babies		When a girl and another girl love each other very much, sometimes science steps in and provides a lovely little bundle of joy to keep them awake at night with her horrible screaming and crying. Technically speaking on loan from /sci/, Science Babies is eager to make Mommy and Mommy proud.	Biological reproduction is somewhat harder for two girls. Fortunately, modern science provides alternatives to the unpleasantness of having to involve a male in the process. Sometimes alternative methods are seen, such as alien tech or magic.	Russia	iPS
DMF	0	Macarons		Not only delicious and gay, but also the signal for everyone to start an edit war over how they're spelled.	It is not currently known when was this tasty treat first used in a yuri context, but the earliest most prevalent example comes from the 2012 Black Rock Shooter anime, where Kagari Izuriha tries to feed macarons to a catatonic Yomi Takanashi. Macarons also kinda look like the other tasty treat lesbians enjoy.	France	Macaroons
AMF	6	BEFRIENDING		A commonplace mating ritual of the Action Lesbian (Dynamicans Sappho), BEFRIENDING typically involves giant laser beams and staggeringly homoerotic declarations. Just as BEFRIENDING lets two girls pick up in the right place, so too has BEFRIENDING taken up the position of right midwing.	Nanoha Takamachi, the main character of Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha. She has a habit of beating the crap out of people she will eventually become friends with. Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha, while not being the first magical girl series to feature lesbians, was however the first series to feature lesbians in a leading role. Some historians acknowledge this series as being the responsible for ushering a golden age where every magical girl series worth its salt must have lesbians as main protagonists.	Japan	Takamachi
CMF	7	Feito-chan		Converted from /a/ by BEFRIENDING, Feito-chan has been a stalwart of the team ever since then. Though some have called her loyalty into question, as long as she gets a regular lasering from BEFRIENDING, Feito-chan says she'll happily stay with /u/.	One of the girls Nanoha Takamachi beat up, then befriended. However, contrary to popular belief, Fate Testarossa (later Fate T. Harlaown, after Lindy Harlaown adopted her) was neither the first girl Nanoha beat up, nor was she the girl Nanoha beat up the hardest. The former honor goes to Arisa Bunnings, who remained friends with Nanoha, and the latter honor goes to Vivio, who Nanoha and Fate would adopt as their daughter. Still, Fate is the most memorable of Nanoha's beatings, and so remains her wife.	Italy	Testarossa
CMF	11	Mistress Baiser		When you like Magical Girls so much you become a BDSM Mistress to sexually harass them.	Utena Hiiragi, the main character of Looking Up To Magical Girls (Mahou Shoujo ni Akogarete, MahoAko for short) really admires Magical Girls. When a mysterious entity offered her the chance to become one, she jumped at the bit. Unfortunately for her, she ended up fighting the Magical Girls she admired, and she does so by subjecting them to all kinds of humiliations and BDSM. Urara, to her horror, found she experiences intense sexual pleasure when she abuses the Magical Girls.	Japan	Hiiragi
SS	69	Purest Form Of Love		Love between two girls is the purest form of love.	Most authors tend to portray yuri relationships as being more romantic and less sexual than het or yaoi relationships.	Japan	Yuri
CF	666	Homucifer		Once merely Homura Akemi, Homucifer has now transcended mortality in order to spend more time with her beloved Madokami. Since Madokami plays divegrass, Homucifer will too. There was some discussion about whether her mortal goalscoring record would carry over to her new form, but such actions have been revealed as the work of the Incubators, attempting to undermine Homucifer's position as Glorious Lesbian Overlord of All Creation.	Homura Akemi is another of the main characters in Puella Magi Madoka Magica. Her actions during the Rebellion movie resulted in her becoming a deity-like entity. A demon of sorts, her objective is making sure Madoka is safe and happy, whether Madoka wants it or not. 'Homucifer' is a portmanteau of 'Homura' and 'Lucifer', the angel that opposed God and fell from the Heavens.	Japan	>Hameru

Substitutes

Position	No.	Name	Image	Description	Explanation	Nationality	Shirt name
CMF	1	Akkarin		The ultimate sneakiness, the living embodiment of avoiding the limelight, /u/ proudly presents: Akar- Eh? Where'd she go...?	Akari Akaza is one of the main characters from Yuru Yuri. She is the butt of frequent jokes about her lack of presence.	Japan	Literally who
LB	22	But We're Both Girls		BUT WE'RE BOTH GIRLS	A common excuse by certain girls to not get into romantic/sexual relationships with other girls. As Japan becomes more and more liberal (or at least accepting of homosexuals), this excuse is less used.	Japan	Forbidden love
LB	98	Alien From Black Lizard Planet		Invaders from the Black Lizard Planet are known to not play divegrass, not like girls and always tell the truth.	Ange le Carré, born as Charlotte, is one of the main characters from Princess Principal. Ange says she's an 'invader from the Black Lizard Planet' to tease her teammates or to hide things from her past.	England	Liar
CB	82	Low Impact Consensual Cuddling		Rated P for Pure even in Australia.	It's comfy and cute, and sometimes that's all that's required.	Australia	Pure
CB	4	Being Yaya Is Suffering		The faces change, the names are mostly similar, the circumstances are always the same.	The number of girls called Yaya that have girls they have an interest in stolen by another girl became a meme after it happened for the second time (first time was Yaya Nanto in Strawberry Panic, second time was Yaya Sasame in Hanayamata). Since then, two other girls with similar names had this happen to them: Yayaka in Flip Flappers and Sayaka Saeki in Bloom Into You. Since then, Yayaka was removed from this list for unknown reasons (but still appears in the in-game model) and Sayaka was removed because she eventually got her own girlfriend.	Japan	Not again
CB	33	I'm Not Into This Lesbian Harem I Got		(And other lies she tells herself)	In Sorry, But I'm Not Into Yuri (Warui ga Watashi wa Yuri ja nai), Itsumi Toudou (center of the image) claims to not be a lesbian. She purchases a love potion to have her teacher fall in love with her, but through various accidents the tomboy Tsubasa Ookado (top left), the delinquent Kamisada Hikari (top right), the rich girl Makoto Yomotsuka (left of Itsumi) and other girls end up drinking the potion and falling in love with Itsumi, even long after the effects of the potion should have vanished. Rin Hanei (right of Itsumi) holds the distinction of not having drank the potion, but falls for Itsumi anyways, becoming her official girlfriend. However, this has done little to prevent other girls from trying to seduce Itsumi, or having crushes on Itsumi.	Japan	Toudou
RB	99	Big Aquarium Conspiracy		A surprising amount of yuri works have started featuring the Aquarium Date. As if someone manipulated things from the water tanks...	Aquariums have become a popular dating spot in recent years. It was only a matter of time since this impacted on yuri works.	Japan	Blub Blub
RB	450	Lesbian Brothel Explorer		And here we see Asumi in her natural habitat: a lesbian brothel. Ain't she a beaut?	Asumi wants to reunite with Mai, her estranged childhood friend. She was told that Mai is working at a lesbian brothel, so Asumi started requesting every lesbian prostitute she could get her hands on, hoping that one of them will indeed be Mai.	Japan	Asumi
DMF	512	Robosexual		I have to find her. I made a promise.	In Signalis, LSTR-512, better known as Elster is a Replika unit, a sort of cyborg. She has to find Alina Seo Ariane Yeong through the corrupted Sierpinski mines, fighting other Replika units warped and twisted by a mysterious disease and traversing horrifying mazes as reality falls apart, all so she can fulfill her promise to Ariane.	Eusan	LSTR-512
DMF	7	YES... HAHAHA... YES!		Let her in, she's a fairy! Don't you believe in fairies?	Mei 'Kim Anouk' Takanashi, from Jellyfish Can't Swim In The Night (Yoru no Kurage wa Oyogenai), is Kano Yamanouchi's greatest fan. Her affection is so great she'll even stalk one of Kano's former bandmates for information about Kano	Japan	Idol Sickos
CMF	43	Giant Imouto		She's a big girl.	Hinako Kyogoku (right of the picture), from Onee-sama to Watashi: Ojou-sama ga Isekai Tensei (Onee-sama and the Giant) isekai'd herself after jumping in front of a train with another girl. After waking up in this other world, she quickly 'adopted' Elis Kyogoku en Quba (left of the picture), a giant, as her 'younger sister'	Japan	Kyogoku
CMF	37	Angry Porcupine		Ow the bad memories.	In Girls Band Cry, Nina Iseri starts radiating these red and black spikes whenever she's angry or depressed.	Japan	Iseri

Retired Players

Old Position	Name	Image	Description	Explanation	Date Departed
CMF	Teru Time		After a long and distinguished career, it was finally her time to go. It will always be Teru o'clock in our hearts.		Summer 2018
CMF	Spontaneous Combustion		What do you think happened to her?		Winter 2015
DMF	Sumisumi		With her president graduating to university and her studies taking up more of her time, Sumisumi stepped down to let the new generation step up. Given her height, most people assumed she'd stepped down already.		Winter 2015
CB	Ruined Birthday Party		Happy birthday, KannaMiko. ;_;7		Winter 2015
LB	Nio-ssu		It turns out tiny shark lesbians aren't all that good at divegrass. Who knew?		Winter 2015
RB	Dying Arisawa		Fortunately for her and Yuno, the cure for terminal plotdevicitis was found. Unfortunately for the team, it was to not play divegrass.		Winter 2016
RB	Cousins By The Way		Found out certain states allowed cousin marriage, quit the team to do exactly that.		Winter 2016
LB	Eila Juutilainen		Her contract finished, she went back to Sanya's warm embrace.		Winter 2016
CB	Ayayayayaya		Ayayayyyyy		Summer 2016
DMF	Stamen		A True Alpha Lesbian takes time off to pollinate her harem.		Summer 2016
CMF	Saint Michael		6. And on the seventh day, Saint Michael rested.		Summer 2016
GK	Spitting Distance		A surprisingly long distance, apparently. Well beyond what's considered "ladylike" and much too far for the rigorous quality control applied to all /u/ players.		Winter 2017
CMF	Metall/u/rgy		Divegrass fields are low on metals. Contract expired and mining operations relocated.		Winter 2017
SS	Lesbodynamics		This is a science best studied in a lab. Or in bed.		Winter 2017
CB	ANGST AND DRAMA		The pitch is too dramatic, even for this seasoned veteran who retired to enjoy even more misunderstandings off the field.		Spring 2017
CB	Punished Bocchi		Such a tough place ;_;		Spring 2017
CMF	Ano Route		What do you mean "they didn't do an Ano route"?		Spring 2017
CMF	Intertwined Fingers		Was let go after repeated warnings from media watchdogs against online indecency. Kids might be watching!		Summer 2017
CB	Kuma Shock		Ascended with Kumaria. Which is also sexy. Shabadadoo~		Winter 2018
CB	Doragon Meido		Better service as spectator.		Winter 2018
DMF	Fingering For World Peace		World peace achieved! At least on the pitch. Plenty more fingering to do on the sidelines!		Winter 2018
DMF	Archdyke		Retired to better take care of her country and her witch.		Winter 2018
RMF	Loathsome Daughter of Heresy		Was left go after too many belly exposures were declared 'indecent'. Besides, the field is far too chaotic to divine		Winter 2018
LMF	Touching Paddles		Retired after deciding ping pong was a more heart racing sport.		Winter 2018
CB	Dai Dai Daisuki		Noting the lack of shards and that even Pure Illusion is less random, she retired.		Summer 2018
DMF	Hifumin Leeeeeader		It's death march at Eagle Jump! No time for soccer! ( ; w ; ) ノ		Summer 2018
DMF	The Mochiverse		The Mochiverse is a thing that transcends time, space and dimensions. It now also transcends the soccer fields.		Autumn 2018
DMF	Post Apocalyptic Bonding		The end of the world also means the end of soccer. Survival will have to continue off the pitch.		Autumn 2018
CMF	°◇°		A sudden influx of guests made her return to her normal job as an inn attendant.		Autumn 2018
DMF	Pussy Whisperer		Seducing your teacher requires, amongst other things, a lot of sleepovers, tied arms and Sister Juice. Those are very time consuming, and very little was left for divegrass, so she retired.		Winter 2019
CMF	Abababababa		Her resignation form reads: "bad as it may be, this unworthy self needs time to focus on her manga and thus needs to resign from the team". The line "ABABABABABA" is written below and crossed out.		Winter 2019
CMF	Yamada's Sprout		Winter is not a good season for plants, let alone the soccer pitch.		Winter 2019
DMF	Bananice		Position Zero.		Summer 2019
DMF	Incest Receiver		Summer is when most beach volleyball tournaments take place, so this couple resigned the team to focus on those.		Summer 2019
CMF	How To Make A Bomb		No bomb, no door, no scheme can protect a loli from a musclemaid.		Summer 2019
CMF	The Spy Who Licked Me		Mission complete.		Summer 2019
CMF	Are You A Lolicon?		[Told you.]		Summer 2019
CMF	Blood Countess		Having taken her due, Ellie now sleeps.		Winter 2020
DMF	Bedroom Tyrant		Onee-chan!		Winter 2020
LB	Girlship		It's still yuri.		Summer 2020
RB	Is This Yuri?		Yes, it was yuri.		Summer 2020
CMF	MAHJONG GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES		Chose to retire to give our expert analysts more time to investigate what the hell is going on with the plot. ("¡Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!")		Summer 2020
LB	I'm Yuu But Stronger		Even retired she's stronger than Yuu. And Sayaka is still not a Yaya, so there's that!		Winter 2021
DMF	G/u/ardians		Even from the audience, these heroines still protect the General and the team from the Evil Fairy.		Winter 2021
DMF	ERNESTAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!		Retired after realizing she's better at cheering than soccer. However, she only screams ERNESTAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! and her cheers sound like bloodcurling screams of rage rather than encouragement...		Winter 2021
RB	War Crimes Kurumi		Following her well earned victory in the Asukabowl, Kurumi retired and is now happy with Asuka.		World 2021
DMF	Ethereal Trigger Fingering		Retired after reasoning that even the Otherside is less strange than PES. Frankly, we agree.		World 2021
DMF	Assault Kaede		As she owns a large corporation, she retired the team to work on that. Still a Yaya, though!		World 2021
DMF	Mom Get The Lightbulbs		Looks like her mom was in a hardware store near the stadium all along. Hiori retired to go find her.	Hiori Hirahara, from Blue Ray Reflection, lives alone in her house. This is because her mom had gone out to buy lightbulbs and, 5 years later, has yet to return. 'Out for lightbulbs' seems to be the new 'out for cigarettes' or 'gone to buy milk'.	Winter 2022
RB	Cruel Paradise Lost of Blue		Who decided Blues had to play soccer!?	Azusa Gunjou, the main character from Who Decided That Blues Had To Be Cool!?. Blue magical girls are usually the 'cool' character, but Azusa doesn't fit this personality and is forced to pretend to be cool to not betray Harumi Akaishi's (the Pink magical girl in Azusa's duo) expectations. The name of her sword, Cruel Paradise Lost of Blue, came to her while she was in her 'chuuni' period, which Azusa is desperately trying to leave behind.	Winter 2022
DMF	Demon Dork		D-Don't think this means you've won!	Yuko Yoshida (aka Shadow Mistress Yuko, 'Shamiko' for short) is the main character from Machikado Mazoku. She's been the victim of several curses which severely affected her demonic power levels, which forced her to resort to other methods to survive. Her general 'dorkiness' stems from these workarounds.	Summer 2022
DMF	Autistic Metronome		Metronomes do tend to go back and forth after all.	Sakura Adachi, one of the two main characters from Adachi to Shimamura. Her weird mannerisms and attitudes have led some to believe she's on some kind of spectrum, where the reality is that she's most likely a normal teenager confronted with love.	Summer 2022
DMF	The Girl, the Myth, the Legend		It's still the sailor uniform that makes the girl a girl magnet, even out of the pitch	Komichi Akebi, the main character from Akebi-chan's Sailor Uniform. She's a very skilled dancer.	Winter 2023
CMF	Revolver Panties		The mystery of where the revolver came from continues...	Gertrude Barkhorn, from Strike Witches, has super strength (even beyond the standard Strike Witch norm) as a power. No hammerspace, which makes the revolver a mystery. If it gets the job done...	Winter 2023
CMF	Black Sunshine		Hibiki and Miku's fight is finally over.	Miku Kohinata is a main character from the Symphogear series. She's referred to as 'my sunshine' by her love interest, Hibiki Tachibana (Hibiki, in turn, is Miku's 'sun'). Miku would end up using a Gear (a sort of power armor) twice, in the second season (G) and the fifth (XV). Both times she would end up fighting Hibiki, in G as a product of brainwashing and in XV as a result of possession. This, combined with her Gear, Shénshòujìng, featuring darker colors, led to the Black Sunshine name.	Winter 2023
DMF	Darkness Peach		Being a magical girl ain't easy. Specially if the source of your power is a perpetually anemic demon.	Momo Chiyoda is one of the main characters from Machikado Mazoku. She's a powerful Magical Girl called 'Fresh Peach', and was tasked with the removal of all demons like Shamiko. However, instead of fulfilling her mission, she started helping Shamiko. This eventually caused to become Shamiko's vassal, becoming 'Darkness Peach'	Spring 2023
DMF	Marauder Princess		Having finished extracting all the Duchesses and resources from the pitch, she went to greener pastures.	Anispia Wynn Palettia, the Princess of Kingdom of Palettia, has a fame of getting herself into dangerous situations to look for items to further her research of 'magicology', a science that aims to combine technology and magic, so that magic is available to everyone instead of merely the royalty. This adventuring spirit earned her the title of 'Marauder Princess'	Autumn 2023
DMF	Groom (not Wife)		She retired to better take care of her tomatoes and her wife.	In Gundam: the Witch from Mercury, Miorine Rembran insists on calling Suletta Mercury (the girl in question) her 'groom, not her wife'. Eventually, Suletta started referring to herself Miorine's groom.	Autumn 2023
CMF	Sengoku Seducer		Turns out there was no soccer in Sengoku era Japan. Who knew?	Tsumugi Tamaori, the player character from Samurai Maiden. Tsumugi gets powerups from the girls in her party by forming relationships with them. The final powerup involves Tsumugi kissing the girls.	Autumn 2023
DMF	10	Schwestern		Shift's over, girls!	In Watashi no Yuri wa Oshigoto desu! (Yuri is My Job!, Watayuri for short), by exchanging matching Kreuze (a rosary) an upperclassman and a junior pledge a vow of sisterhood to support each other throughout their school years. These girls become bonded as schwestern, and always wear their kreuze as a sign of their bond. Hime Shiraki accidentally enters this bond with Mitsuki Yano, a girl that scares her (and has a past with Hime) after a poor choice of words, namely calling Mitsuki 'onee-sama'	Spring 2024
DMF	7	Forehead Sex		Too lewd for Template:Cytube TV	Yu Akeuchi, from Hoshizuku Telepath, uses "foreheadpathy", which is the ability to read other girls' thoughts and state of mind and transmit her own through forehead contact.	Summer 2024
CMF	39	Ripe Mangos		Turns out putting a girl with crippling social anxiety in front of a crowd was not a good idea.	Hitori 'Bocchi' Gotoh, from Bocchi the Rock, has crippling social anxiety. Faced with the prospect of playing with her band in front of a crowd, she hid and played the guitar inside a box of mangos, to less than favorable results.	Summer 2024