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| |align="center" | 99 | | |align="center" | 99 |
| |align="center" | '''{{greentext|Shorks}}''' | | |align="center" | '''{{greentext|Shorks}}''' |
| |align="center" |[[File:Furpuck.jpg|x200px]] | | |align="center" |[[File:Shorks.gif|x200px]] |
| |Something about Hockey | | |While most of the hockey viewing public in North America still wonders why they even bothered putting another team in California to begin with, most San Jose Sharks fans just wish for the pain of a gorillian Confrence Quarter Final losses to mercifully end. |
| |align="center" | N/A | | |align="center" | N/A |
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Revision as of 13:57, 8 August 2014
STILL A FEW CHANGES TO BE MADE
The official /sp/ roster, now 99% up to date
Goalkeeper
No.
|
Name
|
Picture
|
Description
|
Playing Style
|
Card(s)
|
85
|
DA BURRS
|
|
As loveable as he is fierce, /sp/'s first-choice goalkeeper DA BURRS has survived a trial by fire. He had a stretch of difficulty starting in the 2011 Summer Cup, when he was benched after some poor performances, but has performed admirably ever since winning back the starting job. A series of heroic performances have saved the Goats from a few maulings, especially in the 2012, 2013 Summer Cup and 2014 Winter Cup Group Stages. DA BURRS' one weakness is the fact that his eyesight is impaired by his long fur, however he refuses to get it cut.
|
N/A
|
—
|
1
|
>de gay
|
|
>de scription
|
N/A
|
—
|
8
|
TYBGLT
|
|
THANK YOU BASED GOAL-LINE TECHNOLOGY
|
N/A
|
—
|
Defenders
Centre-Backs
|
No.
|
Name
|
Picture
|
Description
|
Playing Style
|
Card(s)
|
23
|
Lelbron
|
|
Back to Back Hips
|
N/A
|
—
|
25
|
MVP
|
|
Ladies and Gentleman, your 2014 Winter Cup MVP
|
N/A
|
|
70
|
Orson Welles
|
|
AHAHAHAHAHA FAGGOT
|
N/A
|
—
|
14
|
Tony Kornheiser
|
|
As one of the most experienced members of the /sp/ squad, Kornheiser commands a lot of admiration and respect from the team's younger players. His humorous and knowledgeable personality merged with a burning desire to prove that he isn't yesterday's news mean that he is a great player to have in the /sp/ defense.
|
N/A
|
—
|
12
|
>us 12s
|
|
You can't lose when it's 11 on 12
|
N/A
|
—
|
Full-Backs
|
No.
|
Name
|
Picture
|
Description
|
Playing Style
|
Card(s)
|
2
|
Jagsguy
|
|
Being a fan of the Jacksonville Jaguars, Jagsguy has suffered a lot of sporting heartache over the years. However, if there's one thing he knows, it's what a losing team looks like. This knowledge has proved useful to the /sp/ management as it has allowed them to make changes to the team when things aren't going so well. Jagsguy is also a great player to have in the squad as he is very eager to prove himself. He holds the belief that if some of the players on the Jaguars team can be professional athletes, then he can too. This desire to reach the top has seen him become a fans' favourite in the few appearances that he's made for the /sp/ GOATS.
|
N/A
|
—
|
9
|
>TORRES
|
|
TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES
|
N/A
|
|
18
|
18-1
|
|
It has been implied by some of the more callous members of the media that 18-1 is "damaged goods" after he choked in an extremely important game a few years ago. However, despite the reservations of some of the fans, and the fear that he could bring a losing mentality to the team, the /sp/ management decided to sign him up. Since signing for the GOATS, 18-1 has been on a mission to prove his critics wrong, turning in a series of fine performances in the /sp/ defence.
|
N/A
|
43
|
>he does it for free
|
|
>he's a janitor
>on the internet
>on an anime imageboard
>he does it for free
>he takes his "job" very seriously
>he does it because it is the only amount of power & control he will ever have in his pathetic life
>he deletes threads he doesn't like because whenever he gets upset he has an asthma attack
>he deletes threads he doesn't like because they interfere with the large backlog of little girl chinese cartoons he still has to watch
>he will never have a real job
>he will never move out of his parent's house
>he will never be at a healthy weight
>he will never know how to cook anything besides a hot pocket
>he will never have a girlfriend
>he will never have any friends
|
N/A
|
Midfield
Central Midfield
|
No.
|
Name
|
Picture
|
Description
|
Playing Style
|
Card(s)
|
7
|
George Costanza
|
|
> 2011+3 >betting against The Walking Blooter Factory >ISHYGDDT
|
|
|
—
|
17
|
HUELOCAUST
|
|
7 (SEVEN)
|
N/A
|
|
99
|
>Shorks
|
|
While most of the hockey viewing public in North America still wonders why they even bothered putting another team in California to begin with, most San Jose Sharks fans just wish for the pain of a gorillian Confrence Quarter Final losses to mercifully end.
|
N/A
|
6
|
>Moyes
|
|
One of the newest additions to the squad, his popularity on /sp/ skyrocketed when he was announced as the new Manchester United manager, his brilliant tactics are well known across /sp/, with people spamming >moyes to let everyone know what a great move or cross just happened
Unfortunately, due to the incompetance of the Man United board and the Players underperforming because they cannot understand the Masterclass tactics of (Soon to be) Sir Davie Moyes, this will (Probably) be >Moyes's last Cup
|
|
|
Defensive Midfield
|
No.
|
Name
|
Picture
|
Description
|
Playing Style
|
Card(s)
|
96
|
Slippy G
|
|
THIS DOES NOT FUCKING SLIP NOW, THIS DOES NOT FUCKING SLIP, LIS- LISTEN! THIS IS GONE! WE GO TO NORWHICH, EXACTLY THE SAME! WE GO AGAIN!
|
N/A
|
|
43
|
BTFO
|
|
BLOWN THE FUCK OUT
|
|
|
45
|
NO ERA PENAL
|
|
NO ERA PENAL EH PUTO NO ERA PENAL
|
|
|
4
|
BASED LESOTHO
|
|
#REKT
|
|
|
Attacking Midfield
|
No.
|
Name
|
Picture
|
Description
|
Playing Style
|
Card(s)
|
10
|
Messi
|
|
Messi is /sp/'s talismanic striker and a real fans' favorite. Now going into his 6th (7th?) major tournament, his goals and majestic skills have earned him a fearsome reputation among the opposition. Always looking to get forward at every opportunity and have shots on goal, Messi is /sp/'s top scorer. Despite missing out on the opportunity to repeat his Golden Boot performance, his activities on the field played a significant role in /sp/'s cup victories and they will look to him to continue that level of play.
|
|
|
Forwards
No.
|
Name
|
Picture
|
Description
|
Boots
|
Card(s)
|
Secondary Striker
|
11
|
Le Cut Inside Man
|
|
LE CUT INSIDE AND SHOOT MAN
|
|
|
—
|
Centre Forwards
|
50
|
USA USA USA
|
|
USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA
|
|
|
Reserves
No.
|
Name
|
Description
|
|
how old?
|
|
RGKnee
|
|
Cornball
|
|
Le Ibra Faec
|
|
Who /a/ here?
|
|
an horse
|
|
Wobbler
|
|
VETTELWINSLOL
|
|
Is Flacco Elite?
|
|
/trb/
|
|
Longthrows:20
|
|
EBAM
|
|
Lad Banter
|
|
Goatface
|
|
eatdatpussy445
|
|
Vaughncouver
|
|
Tony Reali
|
|
Kobr
|
|
negrito
|
|
Michael Wilbon
|
|
RONALDO-SAMA
|
Truly the best player in the world of football, behind Messi of course
|