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Name
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Picture
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Description
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TAKE IT EASY!
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These abominations with passing resemblances to Touhou characters aren't too good at playing football on virtue of having no legs, but seem to have an uncanny ability to attract all the tackles from the opposing players, which makes them a great distraction.
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Sachiko
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Taken from the Idolm@ster wiki: "The standard skill for most of the girls in the game is to buff her own type, or debuff an opposing type. Sachiko's first S Rare was also the first card in the game to debuff its own kind, weakening enemy Cutes so that Sachiko could be the cutest." I feel there's no better description for her.
By the way, don't mention Fatalpulse near her fans.
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Get out of /jp/
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Due to her abrasiveness and bluntness, Marisa is the perfect candidate for letting people know that /jp/ is a board where bullshit is not tolerated. These qualities also make her an excellent captain for the team.
During Comiket, when the influx of Chinese visitors to /jp/ grows greatly, she sometimes gets help from Hong Meiling to remind them to get out.
-Original model by Ki
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Billy Herrington
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Popular icon of the Gachimugi series, and easily recognizable for his figure and presence. RIP Billy ;_;7
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Klown Kunny Klassic
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Roriconia runs rampant on /jp/, in no small part thanks to Clownpiece. With those hips and skin tight dress, theres a reason why most /jp/sies want to fuck this one fairy.
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Flanfly
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It's always 2AM somewhere.
-Original model by Suke
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Akane-Chan
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She's a wingmid now? Seyana.
-Original model by kur
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Cirno
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Sometimes idiotic, always boastful, Cirno is a centerfielder with an ice cold touch and a red hot passion.
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I FUCKING HATE THIS BITCH
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Listen to this one.
"Dear Mrs. Idol,
I am proud that you are being seiso and defending our country against the gaijins. They are bad and I am glad you are going to ignore them and not take money from them.
I am glad that you are so seiso and I simp for you.
Tanigo Motoaki from Tokyo, Japan."
Beta otaku shit right there.
"Dear YAGOO,
Thank you for your nice letter but I am actually a U.S. Dragon who was born to earn money whereas clearly you have mistaken me for some sort of semen-sipping seiso Idolshit.
And although Japanese yen probably appeals to idol-loving incels like you and your brethren,
I happen to be a meme dealing, money crazed warrior who wakes up every day just hoping for the chance to member my chat and defile their wallets.
Idols suck a hairy asshole, YAGOO. Chuubas are the motherfucking answer."
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Senchou's Aging Womb
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Claims that the Hololive virtual idol program is a Japanese governmental initiative to solve the fertility crisis by reacclimating the sexual preferences of lonely young male otaku toward older women are vicious rumors.
Anyway, here’s Houshou Marine: a 17-going-on-30 year old former OL with an urgent message for anybody with ears to listen: “I’m horny!”
Libido aside, Marine’s notable qualities include being one of the few Holos who’s not socially retarded, frequently taking the role of host or MC in larger collaborations and other productions. She’s an impressive artist, and impressively bad at English. She’s also probably the biggest otaku within Hololive of things that would be familiar to the typical /jp/sie, having not-infrequently streamed Touhou and even made a Touhou doujin album with IOSYS and COOL&CREATE.
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Poliacci
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Heard joke once:
Woman goes to doctor. Says she's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel.
Says she feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain.
Doctor says, "treatment is simple. Great clown Omaru Polka is streaming tonight. Go watch her. That should pick you up."
Woman bursts into tears. Says, "but doctor... I am Omaru Polka."
Isn’t it sad, Omarun?
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