| Name
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Background
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Position
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Number
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| Merzbow
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/mu/ has trusted Merzbow to be the Wall of Sound that /mu/ needs to be successful in defense. Winning the 2014 Summer Cup with him in net, he has proven to be a successful member of the team, also being a key member in their entire run of success by only appearing in one (1) babby from Winter 2012 to Summer 2016, though he has not succeeded in taking penalty kicks just yet, or accepting passes from a very certain music reviewer /mu/ really appreciates. In the music scene, Merzbow makes harsh noise that effectively filters plebs that cannot handle real noise. If you can't handle Merzbow, you'll never be able to handle harsh noise.
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34
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<-- Clueless
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hmm today I will play some divegrass
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12
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| mfw Deftones or Smashing Pumpkins
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Let me see your playlist... OH MY GOD you listen to Deftones? Smashing Pumpkins???
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2
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| Piero Scaruffi
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The fact that so many books still say that the death of XXXTentacion was not a big loss for music only tells you how far shitposting still is from becoming a serious art. Piero Scaruffi has seen /mu/ at the highest of highs and the lowest of lows while fucking 5 asian girls at once. While Scarufficore such as Trout Mask Replica, Faust, and Kate Bush have cemented their reputation on /mu/ for years now, Scaruffi's few new reviews still get discussion on /mu/, especially when there's a bombshell. From his criticism by other reviews as being too conservative in his reviews to rating his own poem as one of the best pieces of poetry at all time, he is unequivocally one of the most based figures relevant with /mu/, especially when compared to the absolute state of modern p4k and a certain melon looking shithead.
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22
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| Gusic
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Gusic the sound of your best friends laughter, gusic is the sound of your baby waking up in the middle of the night for the first time, gusic is the sound of wind on a summer's day, gusic is there when you are alone, gusic is there when you aren't, gusic is the love of a good woman, or her breath in the morning, gusic is the cat that only sits in your lap when you don't plan on getting up for a while, gusic is cigarette and cup of coffee on a monday before work, gusic is breakfast in bed, gusic is tv dinners, gusic is the warmth of sand on your feet, gusic is aceing the test you thought you would fail, gusic is cleaning an itch in your ear with a q-tip, gusic is when your cutting a sheet of construction paper and the scissors start to glide, gusic is watching a woman dance in the rain on your way home together, gusic is sitting on the front porch with all your friends, gusic is matter, and energy, light, and darkness, gusic is fire and ice, all things good and nice, a story of men and mice, that makes you think twice about pulling the trigger. Gusic is first and last time you do drugs, gusic is the cosmic end all be all of reality, gusic is all these things and more, but most of all, gusic is a thing that brings us together, thank you for joining us in this gusic thread, post a picture of a cat and talk about gusic.
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4
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| Viper the Kidnapper
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Viper the Rapper, or formally known as Viper, is a hip hop artist hailing from the great state of Arkansas. Viper is most known for putting out his 2008 digitally released album "You'll Cowards Don't Even Smoke Crack", in what has been called by one person as " a deaf person talking over 1991 Sonic the Hedgehog synths thrown together by a little kid on the free-est DAW downloaded on a Russian fileshare site crawling with malware". Viper himself has put out many other studio albums such as "I'm Better Than U" and "My Gun Is Set To Auto-Smegmatic". Additionally, he has put out a counted 136 mixtapes, the most popular being "Kill Urself My Man" and "These Rappers Claim They Hard When Them Fags Never Even Seen the Pen". While these releases have some blatant rips from his previous albums, many songs even being identical, the sheer volume of music he has released is unmatched by any other modern day artist. Also, he makes funny album covers /mu/ uses as reaction images. Also he's a real estate broker. Also he's never been seen in the same room as Lil B.
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20
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| Sporkcore
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Silly music for silly people, the spork genre is just that... silly music
and Zappa is defining it
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18
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| Ye
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MAGA Kanye with the hottest and most thought provoking lyrics
"Now if I fuck this modela nd she just bleached her asshole and I get bleach on my T-shirt, I'mma feel like an asshole"
"Sometimes I'm wishin' that my dick had GoPro so I could play that shit back in slo-mo, I just shot an amateur video; I think I should go pro"
"i keep it 300 like the romans, 300 bitches, where the trojans"
"Ay, none of us would be here without cum"
"I couldn't get my shit out any way, I hope you die Aria"
"Have you ever had sex with a pharoah? I put the pussy in a sarcophagus"
"My apologies, are you into astrology/Cause I’m tryin’ to make it to Uranus"
"I love your titties ’cause they prove I can focus on two things at once"
"Uh, black girl sippin’ white wine/Put my fist in her like a civil rights sign"
"HURRY UP WITH MY DAMN CROISSANTS"
"You left your fridge open somebody took a sandwich"
"Eatin’ Asian pussy, all I need was sweet and sour sauce”
"I remember being nervous to do Victoria's Secret 'til I pictured everybody with their clothes off"
"Skrrt skrrt skrrt like a private school for women, then I get there and all the Popeye's is finished, girl"
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69
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| John Lennon Beat His Wife
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Did you know, that John Lennon from The Beatles actually beat his wife?
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6
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| MC Ride
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"Jesus this sounds so bad, is this what you call music? This sounds like a hobo just yelling random words with shitty engine noises in the background. I don't get how anyone could like this. People actually think this is catchy, really? Hustle bones, what are those? Even that Melon guy said it's really good, for whatever reason he loves them too I don't fucking get it. He gave this a 10?! Really?! A 10/10?! Fucking stupid, you're all idiots I'm going back to listening to good music"
3 months later:
"I CLOSE MY EYES AND SEIZE, I CLENCH MY FIST AND BEAT IT, I LIGHT MY TORCH AND BURN IT, I AM THE BEAST I WORSHIP ITGOESITGOESITGOESITGOESITGOESITGOESITGOESITGOES GUILLOTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE YUH SPREADEAGLECROSSTHEBLOCK SPREADEAGLECROSSTHEBLOCKSPREADEAGLECROSSTHE BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCK I FUCK THE MUSIC, I MAKE IT CUM, I FUCK THE MUSIC WITH MY SERPENT TOOOOONGUE HIT HIT HIT TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKYOON TATAKKKYYYYOOON TATA TRIPLE SIX FIVE FORKED TOOOONGUE IF YOU'RE DELUSIONAL YOUR CALL WILL BE DIRECTED TO THE MOTHERSHIP IWANTITINEEDITNEEDTOKEEPMYSELFHEATEDSHAKEITCANTTAKEITMUSTBREAKITOFF YEAHWHATISAY BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH GETGETGETGETGOTGOTGOTGOTBLOODRUSHTO MYHEADHITHOTLOCKPOPPINOFFTHEFUCKINBLOCKKNOTCLOCKINWRISTSLITWATCHBENTTHOUGHTBOT I GOT THE FEEEVVVAAAAHHHHH HUSTLE BONES COMIN' OUT MAH MAOOUUUTTTHHH I'VE SEEN FOOTAGE, I STAY NOIDED, I'VE SEEN FOOTAGE, AHHHVVVEEE SEEEEN FOOTAGE THE TABLES IS FLIPPED NOW WE GOT ALL THE COCONUTS BITCH"
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33
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Jeff Mangum 
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While Anne Frank may be the only girl that Jeff has ever loved, there are plenty of anons on /mu/ that want to make sure they love Jeff. Lead singer of Neutral Milk Hotel, Jeff's eccentric lyricism and voice have earned his way into the hearts of many listeners by releasing what many believe to be the best indie rock album of all time, "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea". When first listening to the album, many ask themselves, "am I getting memed? Is this what /mu/ thinks is actually good?" Rest assured, this album is universally loved with countless screamable lyrics and a general sincere, happy nature to it. Here's some examples (oh also On Avery Island is great too but lol afterthought as usual):
WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG YOU WERE THE KING OF CAAAARROT FLOOOOOWERS IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU JEEEEEEEEEESUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIST WHAT A BEAUTIFUL FACE I HAVE FOUND IN THIS PLACE THAT IS CIRCLING ALL ROUND THE SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN I AM LIIIIIIIIIISTENING TO HEEEAAAAR WHERE YOU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE CHOKING WITH HER HANDS ACROSS, HIS, FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE
literally the entirety of Holland, 1945
Semen stains the mountaintops, semen stains the mountaintops OOOOOOOOooooOOOOOOoooOOOOOH COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOmely SHE GOOOOOOOES, AND NOW SHE KNOWS SHE'LL NEEEEEEVER BE AFRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAID DEEEEEEDEDEDEDE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDEDEDEDE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDEDEDEDE
just honestly scream the whole album aside the slow songs, those are top tier too though.
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10
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