/asp/ History

Team Creation

The /asp/ roster for their debut match against /vp/

In April 2013, /asp/ finally came round to creating a provisional team. Eventually on the 11th May 2013, /asp/ were founded and became a confirmed provisional team. Whilst all of the other provisional teams got the teams done relatively quick, /asp/ took fucking forever to get shit done decided to take extra time in making sure the team was ready. The reason for this was for the most part a lack of organisation but also due to Bork Lazer, /asp/s first manager. He would ask the board for time so he could complete his exams. However, once they were finished Bork disappeared shortly after. Spotmonkey !!zZUi/j3mrUr would take over at this point to finish off the creation of the team and guide the team forward.

Summer Cup 2013 Friendlies

CENAWINSLOL vs /adv/

/asp/ looked forward to the Summer friendlies to play their first ever official games. In their debut match they faced a /vp/ side under new management in a close fought match which ended in a 3-2 win for /asp/.

In their 2nd friendly they faced Winter 2013 Quarter-Finalists /adv/. What would happen next would be a surprise to everyone. Despite starting slowly /asp/ would go 3-0 up after just over 20 minutes and, despite a spirited /adv/ comeback which would make it 3-2 at half time, CENAWINSLOL would complete his hat-trick in the 2nd half and give /asp/ a surprise 4-2 win. Lady Luck was later proved to have been smiling on /asp/ during the friendlies as Spotmonkey revealed that he hadn't done any testing for the friendlies, and that he had no idea how /asp/ managed to win both games.

Autumn Babby Cup 2013 Friendlies

Coming in the Autumn season /asp/ hoped to continue their form from the Summer Friendlies. Matches against /fit/ and /gd/ were scheduled, but the /fit/ game was later cancelled because >Zyzz, the potential /fit/ manager, got himself banned from both 4chan and the 4chan Cup, leaving /fit/ without a legal export. /fit/ were dropped by /asp/ and a match against /h/ was scheduled in its place.

The /h/ game, dubbed the "Goalhorn Bowl" by some, would be a humbling experience for /asp/, as they were outclassed by the team which came 13th in Summer. Despite the early pressure from /h/, /asp/ took the lead in the first half with a good goal from CENAWINSLOL and they managed to hold onto the lead well into the second half, but two late goals for /h/ from Titty Monster would give /asp/ their first loss, even with an as yet unknown force, presumed to be The Shield, crashing the game right after the second /h/ goal.

In their second friendly /asp/ would play fellow provisional team /gd/. Prior to the match Spotmonkey openly stated how much he hated testing against /gd/ because of how boring the matches were. The match started slowly (as you would expect from a match against a team with 7 defenders), but once again CENAWINSLOL would give /asp/ the lead and just before half time /gd/ would equalise. Apart from a few chances here and there not much would happen in the second half, and the game ended in a 1-1 draw to the surprise of no-one.

Autumn Babby Cup 2013 Qualifiers

Following their less than stellar performance in the friendlies, /asp/ waited to see what laid ahead in the Autumn Qualifiers (aka The Fetus Cup). Once the rules for the Qualifiers were finally set in stone /asp/ would get a tough draw for their group. Joining them in Group C was impressive fellow provisional /out/, a new-look /s/, a /vp/ team with a freshly planted manager, and the highly controversial /an/ in what was considered by many to be the Qualifers group of death. Also, prior to the Qualifers starting the /asp/ backroom would be bolstered by the arrival of new planted /vp/fag co-manager Groudon !!9aKmRIjeVg1

After not playing on the first day, /asp/ would have less than memorable second day. In their first game they would play /an/, with Spotmonkey making his feelings about /an/ co-manager Weasel perfectly clear prior to the match. The match itself would be a close game, with /asp/ taking the lead in the first half with a FAHN DAHN GOOO blooter and /an/ stalwart Spacebat equalising after 60 minutes, leaving the game a draw. Their second game of the day against /out/ was a poor performance compared. as /asp/ would spend most of the game on the back foot against a strong /out/ side. /out/ took the lead early on via UrbEx and /asp/ wouldn't get back into the match until near the hour mark when a defensive blunder left Pic-A-Nic Basket red-faced after scoring an own-goal. It wouldn't take long for /out/ to take the lead again thanks to Smokey The Bear, but this time /asp/ manage to reply in a short time with CENAWINSLOL scoring his first and only goal of the Qualifiers to end the game as a draw and end the day with /asp/ as the only provisional without a win.

/asp/ went into the final day knowing it was do-or-die time, and failing to win both games was not an option. The first game of the day against /vp/ would prove to be the turning point for /asp/'s luck, as within 15 minutes /asp/ scored 3 goals, the first from Bork Lazer and 2 from American Dragon. Despite Miror B scoring a consolation goal before the half-hour mark, American Dragon would complete his hat-trick before half time, causing shouts of "YES!" to be heard for miles around. While the rest of the match would be dull due to neither team being able to get many shots on, the end result gave /asp/ a new biggest victory and a better shot at advancing to the Babby Cup. The last game against /s/, however, would be a game to forget for /asp/ and it's fans. The first half didn't produce much from either team, but just before the hour mark /s/ would score 2 goals which /asp/ were unable to reply to, leaving them third and hoping that the /an/ - /vp/ match would end in a result that would send them through. Alas, /an/ would blow /vp/ the fuck out, meaning /asp/ would advance as one of the best third placed teams.

Autumn Babby Cup 2013

For the Autumn Babby Cup /asp/ received a draw which gave themselves and their fans hope, as they were drawn into a group which some considered to be one of the slightly easier groups of the cup. Joining them in the group were three recently relegated teams, an /adv/ side that /asp/ have had history with, the cute grills of /c/, and the recently deceased /po/.

In their first match against /adv/ fans were hopeful, as the last time the two sides met it ended with /asp/ shocking /adv/ with a 4-2 win, however this time it wasn't to be. /adv/ went 2-0 up in the first half, and despite Bork Lazer giving /asp/ a way back into the match, /adv/ would continue their dominance and the match would end in a 4-1 blowout, giving /asp/ an embarrassing start to the cup and a new biggest loss record. The second match was a much better experience for /asp/, as they were playing against an unmanaged and slightly rigged /po/ team. After starting slowly, /asp/ would score two quick goals from CENAWINSLOL and Rodney Mullen just before half-time, and CENAWINSLOL would score a third and final goal at 90 minutes, putting /asp/ back into contention for a place in Winter.

On the last day, /asp/ would go into their match with /c/ knowing all they needed was a win and they would be into Winter, and early on in the first half it looked bright for them, as Bork Lazer would score within 10 minutes. /asp/ would hold this lead until the 86th minute, when /c/ got a late equaliser that crushed /asp/'s Winter dreams, leaving /asp/ ranked 17th in the cup overall and sending Spotmonkey into flying rage, which would be followed by Spotmonkey issuing an angry rematch challenge for /c/ in the Winter Friendlies, which /c/ co-manager Simmie would accept.

Winter Cup 2014 Friendlies

With rumours abuzz that /asp/ were going to be pushed into Winter to replace one of the possibly dead teams, /asp/ stepped into the world of PES 14 with a grudge match against /c/ and a circlejerk between Spotmonkey and Vaughan friendly match against /n/.

The much-anticipated grudge match between /asp/ and /c/ was a tense and nervy affair, with both teams trading possession back and forth for most of the first half until a a good /asp/ passing movement gave American Dragon the space to score the only goal of the match towards the end of the first half. The second half was more of the same, with neither team getting any major chances until in the last few minutes /c/'s Yuno broke free of the /asp/ defence to get a shot, but Black Ref pulled off a great save to ensure that /asp/ would get good win over their rivals. Post-match a war of words broke out between Spotmonkey and /c/rispy which resulted in possible future matches between the two teams.

In their second friendly /asp/ played /n/ in a match intended to be a fun, not-so-serious match. However, the match was a borefest with neither team creating many chances, with the Iron Sheik impression booked on commentary proving to be less than stellar. The match ended 0-0, with both managers apologizing post-match for forcing the people in attendance to watch it.

Winter Cup 2014

In the lead-up to Winter, /asp/ was at the centre of the rumours regarding whether any teams would be dropped from Winter and whether /asp/ would be promoted to replace them. While it was speculated that /fa/ would be the team /asp/ would replace, as deadline day passed it turned out that /pol/ would miss the deadline as well, leading /asp/ to be placed into the group of death along with /mlp/, /m/ and /s/.

Amongst accusations of unworthiness and predictions of relegation with 0pts from /4ccg/, /asp/ made their elite cup debut in a match against an /mlp/ side widely predicted to do well. Despite early dominance from /mlp/, /asp/ would show they were no pushovers and American Dragon would give them a shock lead at the half hour mark. The /mlp/ management would try to increase their offensive capability with some tactical tinkering, however this would simply allow for the /asp/ offense to get more attacks forward, with only /mlp/ goalkeeper Jackie Chan Tulpa's good goalkeeping preventing /asp/ getting goals for most of the second half. However, just before 80 mins CENAWINSLOL's shot would cheekily roll in off of a JCT save and assure /asp/ would get a shock win over the Top 8 team. An American Dragon shot in the last minute of added time would make it 3-0, giving /asp/ the most memorable debut they could have hoped for and a humiliating start to /mlp/'s campaign.

On their second matchday /asp/ faced /s/, who also gained an impressive 3-0 win in their opening match, and they knew that they only needed a win to send them into the knockout stages. The game started with a slow buildup with both sides getting runs forward, but at the 20 minute mark /asp/ would get a quickfire double with goals from American Dragon and Rodney Mullen. Despite /s/'s attempts at getting more offensive, the /asp/ defence remained resolute and would hold off /s/'s strikers to secure /asp/'s place in the knockout rounds and their place amongst the elites*.

/asp/ would end their group stage run with a game against an already-relegated /m/. A mix of poor conditions, sub-par tactics and a general lack of effort from the /asp/ management led to a generally bad performance from the team. /m/ would get a 2 goal lead by an hour into the match that /asp/ were unable to respond to, with the game ending 2-0. Despite this, /asp/ would top the group thanks to their superior goal difference, successfully proving to the entire cup that they truly deserved their place in the cup.

In their first ever cup knockouts match, /asp/ faced a much-fancied /v/. In a close-fought match CENAWINSLOL would give /asp/ the lead just after half an hour, however SANIC would equalise for /v/, then get a second goal to give /v/ the lead after the hour mark. Somehow managing to survive with their eardrums intact, a great run from CENAWINSLOL in the last minutes would give /asp/ an equaliser that took the match to extra time. With the scores still level after the extra 30 minutes the match went to penalties, and after 12 successful penalties in a row Ethan Carter III was able to score, and Rage would miss the vital penalty that sent /v/ out and put /asp/ through to the Quarter Finals.

The Hypemachine picture for the /asp/ v /trv/ QF match, /asp/'s furthest progression in a cup.

In the Quarter Finals /asp/ would face an incredibly tough /trv/ team. Despite /asp/ taking an early lead from CENAWINSLOL, /trv/ would quickly equalise and would get the lead before half-time. At just past 50 mins /trv/ would extend their lead to 3-1, then later it became 4-1. With time running out /asp/ threw their offense forward to try and salvage the match. The tactic proved to work well as Rodney Mullen would shortly lower the deficit to 2 goals, then in added time American Dragon would get a third for /asp/ giving them a hope of a possible comeback. It was not to be, however, as there would not be enough time to equalise, and /asp/'s dream cup run would end with the 4-3 loss to the future champions. The cup run was considered a success, however, as /asp/ would end up ranked joint 5th overall, above the likes of /wg/ and /sp/, along with the general increase in stature /asp/ received from reaching the QFs.

Summer Cup 2014 Friendlies

After taking a well-deserved rest during the Spring/Wrestlemania Season, /asp/ got back on the pitch with friendlies against their big brother and rival /sp/, and an Autumn 2013 rematch against perennial underdogs /po/.

In the main event of the fourth day of the Friendlies, /asp/ faced /sp/ in a hyped rivalry match. The match itself, however, would fail to live up the pre-game hype. /sp/ would take the lead after 11 minutes thanks to a cheeky >moyes goal, and after that nothing would happen for either team, with small chances being choked here and there by both sides. The match ended in a disappointing 1-0 defeat for /asp/, giving /sp/ lead in their rivalry.

In the last day of the Friendlies, /asp/ would play their second game against /po/. After an early bit of controversy with Boris electing to not fully use /po/'s tactics as they were deemed illegal, the match got underway in the plain white void that has become /po/'s home stadium with /asp/ dominating almost all of the play. After 10 minutes a throughball from CENAWINSLOL found American Dragon who easily slotted it home, giving /asp/ the lead and AmDrag his 10th goal as an /asp/ player. A number of /asp/ chances followed, none of which were good enough to beat the /po/ keeper, until at the 68th minute Bones Jones would hit a goal that blootologists have described as "an absolute stunner", a long-range shot from far out that beat the keeper out of nowhere. By the time everyone had calmed down about the goal, the match had ended with a good 2-0 win for /asp/.