Server maintenance/downtime still planned during the offseason pending f4r getting some time to actually do it.
/biz/ Roster
Main page: /biz/
Players
Key
| Starter | Sub | Silver | Gold |
Active Players
Goalkeepers
| Position | Picture | No. | Name | Description | Model | |
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77 | Sergey of Nazaroth | Chainlink is a coin /biz/ discovered in 2017 which would have the utility of being a bridge between the messiness of reality and the determinism of the Block Chain through allowing for oracles to rip from APIs to then execute smart contracts on platforms like ETH. This subsequently created a ton of hype on /biz/ for discovering this coin so early and a cult of personality behind the company head Sergey Nazarov. Memes would be made of his repetitive wearing of the same shirt every day, his gaining of weight over the span of the years, him hiring prostitutes, and using the same slides every time he has a presentation. This is all despite the fact he behaves extremely professionally and never engages with /biz/. So what I'm saying is 1k EOY is FUD and my LINKIES stay super stinky. |
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Defenders
| Position | Picture | No. | Name | Description | Model | |
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94 | Money Skeleton | Vitalik Buterin. Skinny autistic kid who sperged out over WoW getting a major update, and decided to get into crypto because its deterministic setting would not allow devs to create a shitty update without consensus of over 51% of those upholding the network. He then wrote a blog post of the idea for integrating loops into the ledger thus making smart contracts on the blockchain. Thus he created ETH which revolutionized the crypto space and made a lot of fags on /biz/ rich. He remains autistic, cringe, beta, and a pedo defender, but he is our money skeleton which is based. People to this day argue about POS and ETH 2.0, which is never coming out by the way. |
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8 | OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH | O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H |
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12 | Bear Market Bobo | The first frog edit OC created on /biz/ to represent the bearish nature of those on /biz/ when things are dumping, many a shorter or someone just hoping to buy cheap will post smug bobos as things go down. Or will post a bobo emergency as things pump beyond their control. |
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4 | Pajeet | /biz/ has a problem. Shitcoin spam. The problem is attributed to Indias mostly from the fact that Indias make up a good amount of other scammers, trying to scam you to do the needful and feed their village. Its also common knowledge that crypto projects with mostly Indian dev teams are rugpulls waiting to happen. All of this compounded by the fact that a few too many crypto spam threads that have poped up on boards with flags, have had Indian flags. Don't let Pajeet steal your money. Do the needful my bastard and send it to my wallet instead. |
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30 | You Will Own Nothing And You WIll Be Happy | Illuminati man. Not kidding this dude does want you to eat bugs, sees Corona as a good thing, wants you to live in a pod, and does believe you will own nothing and be happy. He has also written a book regarding the 4th industrial revolution and how smart contracts utilizing oracles can revolutionize the world. So TNWO is in on LINK. Bullish. |
File:Klaus model | |
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87 | The Dapp Chalres | Charles Hoskinson the cofounder of Cardano is a massive soy boy narcissist. Every picture he takes and posts is him with his ugly ass neckbeard smiling. He has a podcast where he tells his cult that his peer reviewed blockchain ETH copy paste will eventually have decentralized apps to surpass ETH, which lives rent free in his mind ever since he was kicked out of the project for being a massive narcissist that no one liked, a feet impressive considering half the devs in crypto are exactly the same. He also has a script running that mines for people posting for his name or Cardano, which is why he hates /biz/ and LINKies believing its not him is wrong in his circle jerk, but everyone else. ADA is also shit because the chain has no activity at the time of posting and takes days for its DAPPs to run. What makes it worse is that its made in a shitty language that only academics high on their own farts know, so its unlikely to be fixed any time soon. Now the question is, is he based for scamming redditors, or is he cringe for appealing to them so much to start with? |
File:Dapps charles model | |
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7 | Dodo | In 2007 the economist Nassim Nicholas Taleb wrote a blockbuster book called the black swam, an idea that just because you have not seen something happen before does not make it impossible. The implication of his work was there to discredit the risk of the housing market, which true to his warning crashed 6 months after publishing. Because of that to this day black swans refer to market crashes caused by unexpected events. Dodo's representations of this trend, made popular during the COVID crash in 2020 and subsequently posted semi interchangeably with bobos. |
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16 | Golden Mumu | A bull market means the market is feeling optomistic and many gains are being realized. Its also a sign of a bubble forming. Mumu is a shitty /biz/ OC created to reflect this bullish setment or at the very least to antagonize those who are bearish and are spamming bobos. So we're never going under |
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3 | Nocoiner | Grug no like memecoins. Grug buy stocks, rocks, and do small buiness instead. Grug also complain on /biz/ every day that /biz/ no like what Grug like. Grug also no know that /biz/ was created to keep memecoins off /g/. Grug also no want to make money x10 in crypto because Grug know crypto a scam and will go to zero. Grug very smart. |
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20 | Lambo | Crypto speak for having made it. Expensive car so its pretty much synonymous with moon, lots of money, and hookers. Some autistic Indian on /biz/ in LA bought a Lambo and tricked it out with even writing /biz/ on the side of it along with putting Bitcoins and LINKies all over it. No one believed it till the timestamp was given. He was doxed like a week later for his trouble. |
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45 | Boomer Rocks | Boomer rocks go by many names such as precious metals, gold, silver, ect. Those who hold them do so likely because they are old or dumb. The one everyone goes after on /biz/'s name is Peter Schiff because he's also extremely against crypto. Despite the fact his yearly return on investment has basically been 0 where as those who invested in crypto have made much higher rates of return. But keep believing the internet will turn off or the apocalypse comes boomer. When that day happens, only one metal will be valuable, which boomer rock holders don't hold, lead. |
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Midfielders
| Position | Picture | No. | Name | Description | Model | |
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5 | Wagie | OOOOOOOHHHH WAGIE. Thanks for showing up early, but you have to jump into that cagie right now. No we will clock you in when your shift starts. Ignore the inhuman work conditions, soul crushing dead end job, and mystery you an invert experience working a scheduled service or foods job. If you don't do this you can just die on the street LMAO. This is what wagies want to make you think is their awful life. Every thread sounds exactly like this. Then you get the one boomer who is telling them to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and a job can give them meaning. They call him a boomer and hate on him. Who is right? Who cares. |
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12 | Snib Snab | If a bullmarket is it going up and a bearmarket down, a crab market is the market moving to the side, returning to the mean, or just not doing something to make bulls or bears excited. Why a crab? Well how do crabs move? Foward or backwards? Trick question to the side. Snib Snab is the Crab's name and he will make bulls and bears seethe and absolutely no one makes money. |
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99 | Sminem | The boy who saved crypto. Originally an /int/ meme which began to be posted on /biz/ semi often in 2017 before the green wojak really took off. Bizonacci then ended up putting him in a video and he's now eternally the boy who saved crypto. Very memorable as a arch rival against the bogs due to his funny ears, several pics of him near bears in cages, hands open waiting to intake your energy, and absolutely optimistic look. |
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BBBRRRRRRRRR | Oh no the economy is being ruined by our poorly planned Keynsian macro economic theory? Haha money printer go BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRR. Oh no a ression has hit and we need to increase government spending to pay for more welfare? Haha money printer go BBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. No, it will not cause inflation. The current inflation is just transitory. No, don't cash out of the USD. Please hold your USD bags you dumb goy I mean American citizen. Don't put it into something else especially crypto. |
File:BBBRRRRRRRRR model | ||
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6 | Dog Coin Season | The 2020 bullrun began with a pump in BTC and DEFI dAPPs. However protocols with actual value began to die as the market gained more and more normal fags. Soon DOGE coin pumped, and that was what signaled the beginning of the end. It had become dog coin season. Tones of doge coin forks began to pop up with even more circulating supply and dumber names. SHIBI INU coin, Doge Bonk coin, ect. Worse part of all of them is if you bought low and sold high you'd have made even more then those holding tokens with utility, but that are not needed. |
File:Dog coin model | |
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1 | 205 Days Till BTC Reaches 100k | This snail first started to be posted with how long it was taking for BTC to move past 10k after the 2017 bullrun. This was quickly proven wrong however with the 2020 bullrun quickly after taking BTC to new highs. However after BTC began to slow down its growth having reached 50k the return of the snail began, and some madlad made it his quest to post every it every day till BTC would reach 100k. This continues to this day. At the time of writing this we are at day 205 till BTC reaches 100k. Still waiting as it crawls along... |
File:BTC Snail 100k model | |
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22 | OHHHHHHH LINKIES | A humble guardian that keeps irrationally exuberant frogs and smug wojaks in line. Doesn't want to be your bully gf. Don't even ask. Stop imagining Nico's pungent feet on your face. Also a Sadomasochistic Nymphomaniac, gets excited by the idea of treating lowly LINK holders like the worthless pigs they really are. Might also subconsciously harbor thoughts of bullying you until you're nearly frothing at the mouth and enraged enough to take her right then and there. I already told you stop it anon. |
File:Biz niko 1 model | |
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17 | XMR Chan | Mascot of Monero (Tinker: XMR) which is spammed all over /biz/ XMR threads especially the general. XMR is a privacy coin, meaning all those negative things boomers will complain about with crypto and BTC, yah thats what XMR is. You can hide it from your wife, use it to buy darkweb shit, or just random crap via local XMR. Despite being a privacy coin, most XMR chan art is very lewd. Guess that is because those who make art for her are aware of her private keys. Also yes there is too much loli of her. |
File:Biz XMR Chan model |
Forwards
| Position | Picture | No. | Name | Description | Model
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49 | Grichka | BZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZ |
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49 | Igor | BZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZ |
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0 | AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH | I'VE LOST EVERYTHING! MAKE IT STOP! |
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Old Players
| Picture | Name | Description |
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Chinked | From your funds being safe to supply chain coins, chinks have demonstrated time and time again to be one of THE BEST investments to make. That is if you like buying high and selling low. |
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HODL | Reminder Hodl, or the mispelling of HOLD stands for: Hold On for Dear Life. So with that in mind, JUST HODL YOU WEAK HANDED FAGGOTS. JESUS CHRIST IF YOU DIDN'T PANIC SELL WE'D NEVER GO DOWN. |
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Craig "Satoj" Wright | Satoshi the creator of bitcoin is a cryptic figure in crypto. That is till he came out of the background to decry his project, and propose a split. That or its just an Aussie shitposter trying to make a buck off a bunch of retarded pajeets. |
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Nice Just Bought 100k | You made some money in it? Nice just bought 100k. Its at the bottom? Nice just bought 100k. /biz/ just scored? Nice just bought 100k. |
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DR;NS | AHEM |
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Firm Handshake | The best /biz/nessmen make a good impression, and the first step to a good impression is a Firm Handshake. |
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$1/Pop | /biz/, what's the best way to make a million dollars? Buy some kneepads and suck a million dicks at $1/Pop. |
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80s Guy | The most aggressive member of the /biz/ Backline. Ambitious, but misunderstood, 80s Guy returns to the starting lineup to turn his defenders into Sharks, not Sheep. |
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Fuck The Poor | Reminder that there are no poor people on /biz/, just temporarily embarrassed millionaires. |
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Chip Warmer | Providing Restaurant Style Warmth to the /biz/ backfield. |
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Oil Prices | One of /biz/'s oldest threads - nothing but endless shitposting since Oil Prices began to drop in 2014, but they've managed to chug on since. |
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Tai Lopez | Tai Lopez would be happy to tell you the secrets of his success... for $70/month. Can the team follow his 67 steps to success? |
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Bulls | More optimistic than his partner Bears, Bulls hopes to BUY BUY BUY a solid performance in the 4chan Cup. |
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How Do I Get Rich? | Every /biz/ regular's least favorite thread - the only thing an outsider asks is how to get rich quick. |
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Janet Yellen | Chairwoman of the Federal Reserve, or Ben Bernanke in a wig? Janet Yellen takes her place in the /biz/ Goal, looking to build a sound Monetary Policy in the /biz/ backfield. |
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Pyramid Scheme | Get your friends to buy in by calling it a "Reverse Funnel System". You can make a lot of money in a Pyramid Scheme, if you just know the right time to cash out. You wouldn't get caught holding the bag, right? |
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Ethercuck | Some call it a technological marvel, but to /biz/, it's all about Buying the Dip and making sure not to be left holding the bag. The latest /biz/ money-making sensation |
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Forex | Foreign Exchange threads have always been popular on /biz/. Don't let anyone trick you into thinking they've actually made money on it, though. |
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Robinhood | Turning memes into dreams since 2014. Buy high, sell low. |
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Step 1: Be A Jew | You had to know this was coming. The Chosen People know how to make a buck or two, and we can only hope that their PES equivalent can bring /biz/ Plenty of Goals. |
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Yatch | Every /biz/nessman's goal is to own a 200-foot Yatch. |
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NO CASH OUT | Internet Money is not a form of currency. Please get a job. |
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THEY'RE AWAKE | Hi nau, China numba wan! |
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Digimarines | WE ARE THE DIGIMARINES AND AFTER ALL THIS TIME WE WILL STILL NOT SELL! |
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Blockfolio Rate | Hey /biz/ rate my blockfolio. Look at all these loses. Am I buying high and selling low enough? |
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4000 OMG | 4000 OMG! |
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Elon Musk | Dude weed, lmao. Dude memes, lmao. Dude anime, lmao. Dude bitcoin, lmao. Dude bitcoin AND anime, hell fucking yes 100% /ourguy/. |
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(((Ripple))) | A centralized join on a market about decentralization? Its backed by the US government? Gee I wonder (((who))) could be behind this? |
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How Much BTC For This GF? | How much do I need to make in order to go to Thailand and buy a "G"F? |
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FORCED MEMES | Somehow pajeets not only need to shill their shit coins on /biz/ but also need to shill their shitty memes. Be it Fresco or the NPC they all see to start on /biz/ and spread everywhere else. |
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BITCONNNEEEEEEEEEC | I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE BITCONNNEEEEEEEEECCCCCCC |
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Bart | Whats that funny shapped the candel stick chart is doing? Oh no, its another bart. Looks like we're going down again. |
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John "Boomer" McAfee | One of the most retarded but funny idiots that follow and comments on crypto. Had a skycoin logo tattooed on his back. Is running for president AGAIN. Who can stop this madman? |