/biz/ Roster

Main page: /biz/

2016 Spring Roster Poll Results

• NOTE: The below Player Positions and Numbers may change depending on testing.

Players

Sub

Starter

Silver

Gold

Goalkeepers

No.	Position	Name	Picture	Description
1	GK	Firm Handshake		The best /biz/nessmen make a good impression, and the first step to a good impression is a Firm Handshake.
22	GK	Janet Yellen		Chairwoman of the Federal Reserve, or Ben Bernanke in a wig? Janet Yellen takes her place in the /biz/ Goal, looking to build a sound Monetary Policy in front of net.
23	GK	>Ebay		The best place to sell Memes and Meme Accessories, eBay General is one of the oldest general threads on the board.

Defenders

No.	Position	Name	Picture	Description
4	CB	Chip Warmer		Providing Restaurant Style Warmth to the /biz/ backfield.
5	CB	Fuck The Poor		Reminder that there are no poor people on /biz/, just temporarily embarrassed millionaires.
3	LB	$1/Pop		/biz/, what's the best way to make a million dollars? Buy some kneepads and suck a million dicks at $1/Pop.
2	RB	80s Guy		The most aggressive member of the /biz/ Backline. Ambitious, but misunderstood, 80s Guy returns to the starting lineup to turn his defenders into Sharks, not Sheep.
12	LB	Oil Prices		One of /biz/'s oldest threads - nothing but endless shitposting since Oil Prices began to drop in 2014, but they've managed to chug on since.
13	RB	SELL SELL SELL		This one needs no explanation - the moment your investment goes down even a little bit, freak out and Sell, Sell, Sell.
14	CB	Bulls		More optimistic than his partner Bears, Bulls hopes to BUY BUY BUY a solid performance in the 4chan Cup.
15	CB	Idea Guy		"I think we should be aggressive and score more goals, but I'm only a 77 so I can't score shit. I'll take 50% of the goals for the idea, though."
16	CB	Nocoiner		It's what Ethereum/BTC/Doge 'investors' call other shitposters in any crypto thread - you just weren't smart enough to get in on the ground floor before prices went To The Moon.
99	CB	How Do I Get Rich?		Every /biz/ regular's least favorite thread - the only thing an outsider asks is how to get rich quick.

Midfielders

No.	Position	Name	Picture	Description
6	DMF	Vitalik Buterin		/biz/'s own Mad Russian, Bitcoin enthusiast, and inventor of Ethereum.
8	CMF	Robinhood		Turning memes into dreams since 2014. Buy high, sell low.
7	CMF	Step 1: Be A Jew		You had to know this was coming. The Chosen People know how to make a buck or two, and we can only hope that their PES equivalent can bring /biz/ Plenty of Goals.
10	AMF	Bitcoin Millionaire		He's come on hard times recently, but Bitcoin Millionaire remains a respected veteran and formidable scorer.
17	CMF	Pyramid Scheme		Get your friends to buy in by calling it a "Reverse Funnel System". You can make a lot of money in a Pyramid Scheme, if you just know the right time to cash out. You wouldn't get caught holding the bag, right?
18	CMF	Forex		Foreign Exchange threads have always been popular on /biz/. Don't let anyone trick you into thinking they've actually made money on it, though.
19	CMF	Yatch		Every /biz/nessman's goal is to own a 200-foot Yatch.

Forwards

No.	Position	Name	Picture	Description
9	SS	Martin Shkreli		He's human scum that denied the chronically ill access to simple drugs, just to make a buck. He's a possible Hack Fraud under SEC investigation. He's everything /biz/ is and wants to be. We hate him 'cause we ain't him.
11	SS	Ethereum		Some call it a technological marvel, but to /biz/, it's all about Buying the Dip and making sure not to be left holding the bag. The latest /biz/ money-making sensation
20	SS	Tai Lopez		Tai Lopez would be happy to tell you the secrets of his success... for $70/month. Can the team follow his 67 steps to success?