/asp/ History

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Reason: History until 2016 4chan Summer Cup (Added on 2017-09-25)

Team Creation

The /asp/ roster for their debut match against /vp/

In April 2013,  /asp/ finally came round to creating a provisional team. Eventually on the 11th May 2013, /asp/ were founded and became a confirmed provisional team. Whilst all of the other provisional teams got the teams done relatively quick, /asp/ took fucking forever to get shit done decided to take extra time in making sure the team was ready. The reason for this was for the most part a lack of organisation but also due to Bork Lazer, /asp/s first manager. He would ask the board for time so he could complete his exams. However, once they were finished Bork disappeared shortly after. Spotmonkey !!zZUi/j3mrUr would take over at this point to finish off the creation of the team and guide the team forward.

Summer Cup 2013 Friendlies

CENAWINSLOL vs /adv/

/asp/ looked forward to the Summer friendlies to play their first ever official games. In their debut match they faced a /vp/ side under new management in a close fought match which ended in a 3-2 win for /asp/.

In their 2nd friendly they faced Winter 2013 Quarter-Finalists /adv/. What would happen next would be a surprise to everyone. Despite starting slowly /asp/ would go 3-0 up after just over 20 minutes and, despite a spirited /adv/ comeback which would make it 3-2 at half time, CENAWINSLOL would complete his hat-trick in the 2nd half and give /asp/ a surprise 4-2 win. Lady Luck was later proved to have been smiling on /asp/ during the friendlies as Spotmonkey revealed that he hadn't done any testing for the friendlies, and that he had no idea how /asp/ managed to win both games.

Autumn Babby Cup 2013 Friendlies

Coming in the Autumn season /asp/ hoped to continue their form from the Summer Friendlies. Matches against /fit/ and /gd/ were scheduled, but the /fit/ game was later cancelled because >Zyzz, the potential /fit/ manager, got himself banned from both 4chan and the 4chan Cup, leaving /fit/ without a legal export. /fit/ were dropped by /asp/ and a match against /h/ was scheduled in its place.

The /h/ game, dubbed the "Goalhorn Bowl" by some, would be a humbling experience for /asp/, as they were outclassed by the team which came 13th in Summer. Despite the early pressure from /h/, /asp/ took the lead in the first half with a good goal from CENAWINSLOL and they managed to hold onto the lead well into the second half, but two late goals for /h/ from Titty Monster would give /asp/ their first loss, even with an as yet unknown force, presumed to be The Shield, crashing the game right after the second /h/ goal.

In their second friendly /asp/ would play fellow provisional team /gd/. Prior to the match Spotmonkey openly stated how much he hated testing against /gd/ because of how boring the matches were. The match started slowly (as you would expect from a match against a team with 7 defenders), but once again CENAWINSLOL would give /asp/ the lead and just before half time /gd/ would equalise. Apart from a few chances here and there not much would happen in the second half, and the game ended in a 1-1 draw to the surprise of no-one.

Autumn Babby Cup 2013 Qualifiers

Following their less than stellar performance in the friendlies, /asp/ waited to see what laid ahead in the Autumn Qualifiers (aka The Fetus Cup). Once the rules for the Qualifiers were finally set in stone /asp/ would get a tough draw for their group. Joining them in Group C was impressive fellow provisional /out/, a new-look /s/, a /vp/ team with a freshly planted manager, and the highly controversial /an/ in what was considered by many to be the Qualifers group of death. Also, prior to the Qualifers starting the /asp/ backroom would be bolstered by the arrival of new planted /vp/fag co-manager Groudon !!9aKmRIjeVg1

After not playing on the first day, /asp/ would have less than memorable second day. In their first game they would play /an/, with Spotmonkey making his feelings about /an/ co-manager Weasel perfectly clear prior to the match. The match itself would be a close game, with /asp/ taking the lead in the first half with a FAHN DAHN GOOO blooter and /an/ stalwart Spacebat equalising after 60 minutes, leaving the game a draw. Their second game of the day against /out/ was a poor performance compared. as /asp/ would spend most of the game on the back foot against a strong /out/ side. /out/ took the lead early on via UrbEx and /asp/ wouldn't get back into the match until near the hour mark when a defensive blunder left Pic-A-Nic Basket red-faced after scoring an own-goal. It wouldn't take long for /out/ to take the lead again thanks to Smokey The Bear, but this time /asp/ manage to reply in a short time with CENAWINSLOL scoring his first and only goal of the Qualifiers to end the game as a draw and end the day with /asp/ as the only provisional without a win.

/asp/ went into the final day knowing it was do-or-die time, and failing to win both games was not an option. The first game of the day against /vp/ would prove to be the turning point for /asp/'s luck, as within 15 minutes /asp/ scored 3 goals, the first from Bork Lazer and 2 from American Dragon. Despite Miror B scoring a consolation goal before the half-hour mark, American Dragon would complete his hat-trick before half time, causing shouts of "YES!" to be heard for miles around. While the rest of the match would be dull due to neither team being able to get many shots on, the end result gave /asp/ a new biggest victory and a better shot at advancing to the Babby Cup. The last game against /s/, however, would be a game to forget for /asp/ and it's fans. The first half didn't produce much from either team, but just before the hour mark /s/ would score 2 goals which /asp/ were unable to reply to, leaving them third and hoping that the /an/ - /vp/ match would end in a result that would send them through. Alas, /an/ would blow /vp/ the fuck out, meaning /asp/ would advance as one of the best third placed teams.

Autumn Babby Cup 2013

For the Autumn Babby Cup /asp/ received a draw which gave themselves and their fans hope, as they were drawn into a group which some considered to be one of the slightly easier groups of the cup. Joining them in the group were three recently relegated teams, an /adv/ side that /asp/ have had history with, the cute grills of /c/, and the recently deceased /po/.

In their first match against /adv/ fans were hopeful, as the last time the two sides met it ended with /asp/ shocking /adv/ with a 4-2 win, however this time it wasn't to be. /adv/ went 2-0 up in the first half, and despite Bork Lazer giving /asp/ a way back into the match, /adv/ would continue their dominance and the match would end in a 4-1 blowout, giving /asp/ an embarrassing start to the cup and a new biggest loss record. The second match was a much better experience for /asp/, as they were playing against an unmanaged and slightly rigged /po/ team. After starting slowly, /asp/ would score two quick goals from CENAWINSLOL and Rodney Mullen just before half-time, and CENAWINSLOL would score a third and final goal at 90 minutes, putting /asp/ back into contention for a place in Winter.

On the last day, /asp/ would go into their match with /c/ knowing all they needed was a win and they would be into Winter, and early on in the first half it looked bright for them, as Bork Lazer would score within 10 minutes. /asp/ would hold this lead until the 86th minute, when /c/ got a late equaliser that crushed /asp/'s Winter dreams, leaving /asp/ ranked 17th in the cup overall and sending Spotmonkey into flying rage, which would be followed by Spotmonkey issuing an angry rematch challenge for /c/ in the Winter Friendlies, which /c/ co-manager Simmie would accept.

Winter Cup 2014 Friendlies

With rumours abuzz that /asp/ were going to be pushed into Winter to replace one of the possibly dead teams, /asp/ stepped into the world of PES 14 with a grudge match against /c/ and a circlejerk between Spotmonkey and Vaughan friendly match against /n/.

The much-anticipated grudge match between /asp/ and /c/ was a tense and nervy affair, with both teams trading possession back and forth for most of the first half until a a good /asp/ passing movement gave American Dragon the space to score the only goal of the match towards the end of the first half. The second half was more of the same, with neither team getting any major chances until in the last few minutes /c/'s Yuno broke free of the /asp/ defence to get a shot, but Black Ref pulled off a great save to ensure that /asp/ would get good win over their rivals. Post-match a war of words broke out between Spotmonkey and /c/rispy which resulted in possible future matches between the two teams.

In their second friendly /asp/ played /n/ in a match intended to be a fun, not-so-serious match. However, the match was a borefest with neither team creating many chances, with the Iron Sheik impression booked on commentary proving to be less than stellar. The match ended 0-0, with both managers apologizing post-match for forcing the people in attendance to watch it.

Winter Cup 2014

In the lead-up to Winter, /asp/ was at the centre of the rumours regarding whether any teams would be dropped from Winter and whether /asp/ would be promoted to replace them. While it was speculated that /fa/ would be the team /asp/ would replace, as deadline day passed it turned out that /pol/ would miss the deadline as well, leading /asp/ to be placed into the group of death along with /mlp/, /m/ and /s/.

Amongst accusations of unworthiness and predictions of relegation with 0pts from /4ccg/, /asp/ made their elite cup debut in a match against an /mlp/ side widely predicted to do well. Despite early dominance from /mlp/, /asp/ would show they were no pushovers and American Dragon would give them a shock lead at the half hour mark. The /mlp/ management would try to increase their offensive capability with some tactical tinkering, however this would simply allow for the /asp/ offense to get more attacks forward, with only /mlp/ goalkeeper Jackie Chan Tulpa's good goalkeeping preventing /asp/ getting goals for most of the second half. However, just before 80 mins CENAWINSLOL's shot would cheekily roll in off of a JCT save and assure /asp/ would get a shock win over the Top 8 team. An American Dragon shot in the last minute of added time would make it 3-0, giving /asp/ the most memorable debut they could have hoped for and a humiliating start to /mlp/'s campaign.

The Hypemachine picture for the /asp/ v /trv/ QF match, /asp/'s furthest progression in a cup.

On their second matchday /asp/ faced /s/, who also gained an impressive 3-0 win in their opening match, and they knew that they only needed a win to send them into the knockout stages. The game started with a slow buildup with both sides getting runs forward, but at the 20 minute mark /asp/ would get a quickfire double with goals from American Dragon and Rodney Mullen. Despite /s/'s attempts at getting more offensive, the /asp/ defence remained resolute and would hold off /s/'s strikers to secure /asp/'s place in the knockout rounds and their place amongst the elites*.

/asp/ would end their group stage run with a game against an already-relegated /m/. A mix of poor conditions, sub-par tactics and a general lack of effort from the /asp/ management led to a generally bad performance from the team. /m/ would get a 2 goal lead by an hour into the match that /asp/ were unable to respond to, with the game ending 2-0. Despite this, /asp/ would top the group thanks to their superior goal difference, successfully proving to the entire cup that they truly deserved their place in the cup.

In their first ever cup knockouts match, /asp/ faced a much-fancied /v/. In a close-fought match CENAWINSLOL would give /asp/ the lead just after half an hour, however SANIC would equalise for /v/, then get a second goal to give /v/ the lead after the hour mark. Somehow managing to survive with their eardrums intact, a great run from CENAWINSLOL in the last minutes would give /asp/ an equaliser that took the match to extra time. With the scores still level after the extra 30 minutes the match went to penalties, and after 12 successful penalties in a row Ethan Carter III was able to score, and Rage would miss the vital penalty that sent /v/ out and put /asp/ through to the Quarter Finals.

In the Quarter Finals /asp/ would face an incredibly tough /trv/ team. Despite /asp/ taking an early lead from CENAWINSLOL, /trv/ would quickly equalise and would get the lead before half-time. At just past 50 mins /trv/ would extend their lead to 3-1, then later it became 4-1. With time running out /asp/ threw their offense forward to try and salvage the match. The tactic proved to work well as Rodney Mullen would shortly lower the deficit to 2 goals, then in added time American Dragon would get a third for /asp/ giving them a hope of a possible comeback. It was not to be, however, as there would not be enough time to equalise, and /asp/'s dream cup run would end with the 4-3 loss to the future champions. The cup run was considered a success, however, as /asp/ would end up ranked joint 5th overall, above the likes of /wg/ and /sp/, along with the general increase in stature /asp/ received from reaching the QFs.

Summer Cup 2014 Friendlies

After taking a well-deserved rest during the Spring/Wrestlemania Season, /asp/ got back on the pitch with friendlies against their big brother and rival /sp/, and an Autumn 2013 rematch against perennial underdogs /po/.

In the main event of the fourth day of the Friendlies, /asp/ faced /sp/ in a hyped rivalry match. The match itself, however, would fail to live up the pre-game hype. /sp/ would take the lead after 11 minutes thanks to a cheeky >moyes goal, and after that nothing would happen for either team, with small chances being choked here and there by both sides. The match ended in a disappointing 1-0 defeat for /asp/, giving /sp/ lead in their rivalry.

In the last day of the Friendlies, /asp/ would play their second game against /po/. After an early bit of controversy with Boris electing to not fully use /po/'s tactics as they were deemed illegal, the match got underway in the plain white void that has become /po/'s home stadium with /asp/ dominating almost all of the play. After 10 minutes a throughball from CENAWINSLOL found American Dragon who easily slotted it home, giving /asp/ the lead and AmDrag his 10th goal as an /asp/ player. A number of /asp/ chances followed, none of which were good enough to beat the /po/ keeper, until at the 68th minute Bones Jones would hit a goal that blootologists have described as "an absolute stunner", a long-range shot from far out that beat the keeper out of nowhere. By the time everyone had calmed down about the goal, the match had ended with a good 2-0 win for /asp/.

Summer Cup 2014

The Hypemachine pic for /asp/ vs /h/, which was sadly the only hype part of the match.

After a mixed Friendlies season /asp/ went into the Summer Cup 2014 draw as a Pot 1 team for the first time. As fans of the 4CC watched on /asp/ were drawn with the camwhores of /soc/, Spring champions /pol/ and the nice and polite [s4s] in a group many decided was the group of death.

In their opening match /asp/ played /pol/ in what was considered by some as the most hype match of the day. Over 1,500 fans crammed into the 4chan Cup twitch to watch the game, the highest attendance of the cup at that point, and after the Real Americans provided some patriotism for /asp/'s anthem the game began. The first half was filled with good attacking and good defending from both teams, until newly promoted FUCK THIS COMPANY headed forward to CENAWINSLOL, who was able to bloot a shot past JIDF in the 40th minute. Shortly after the break a freak deflection from /asp/ GK Bad News Barrett allowed Doompaul to tap in a /pol/ equaliser, and following this both teams pushed forward in an attempt to get the winning goal. The winning goal finally came at 81 mins when a poor JIDF punch clearance fell to defender NOT /ASP/, whose shot bounced off JIDF's hand and into the net. After several players from both sides managed to stop Stormfront and Hitler from strangling JIDF the match would end in a 2-1 win for /asp/, leaving /pol/ manager KHS Rowan to, rightfully, blame the Jews for their defeat.

The next week /asp/ went into the /soc/ game knowing a win would see them go through with a game to spare. However, it wasn't to be as a generally lifeless /asp/ was shut down by the unorthodox /soc/ setup dubbed "The Abomination". Despite holding on until the second half, eventually /asp/ succumbed and conceded after another freak deflection. After attempting to go offensive /asp/ would concede another freak goal when the defence allowed Lain Iwakura to get the ball in the box and tap in the winning goal, giving /asp/ a 0-2 loss and making the [s4s] game do-or-die.

After seeing a number of elites relegated the day before, /asp/ knew that failing to win wasn't an option. With both /asp/ and [s4s] going offensive, the first half saw a number of close chances for both sides, though nothing was converted until late in the second half when yet another deflection gave Topkek a clear chance on goal to give [s4s] the lead. With nothing to lose, /asp/ decided to blaze it and go 4-all 20's YOLO in a last ditch attempt to get through. In a surprising turn of events, at the 80 minute mark CENAWINSLOL would find an equaliser and, much to the shock of everyone viewing the match, FUCK THIS COMPANY would find an 86th minute winner, and despite [s4s] blazing it up as well for the last few minutes, /asp/ would win and find a way into the knockouts, confirming that they are still elite.

In the Ro16, /asp/ would play /h/ in a rematch from the Autumn 2013 friendlies. After the setup and hype pre-match, both teams would go on the offensive, with a good amount of chances happening for both teams. As the match went on /asp/ would slowly start to get more chances, however in the last 5 minutes of the game /h/'s drunken tactics would give them the lead with an Incest goal from a good pass. With very little time left, /asp/ would try and blaze it again with 4-all 20's tactics in an attempt to find a way again, however it wasn't to be and /asp/ would lose, ending the cup in joint 13th position to return in Winter 2015.

Winter Cup 2015

/hr/'s players arguing with the ref after he gave a penalty kick to /asp/

/asp/ would return for one more 4chan Winter Cup. However, one member of the management team would not be managing, as former manager Spotmonkey retired from his role as head manager. This would leave Assistant Manager Groudon as the head manager approaching an elite-level cup. Despite heavy roster turnover that Groudon cited as "needed to bring team /asp/ into the new era" featuring many starlings from /asp/'s development team, /asp/ would go into the Winter Friendlies and win both of their scheduled games, but lose an unscheduled match. /asp/ was then drawn into a very difficult group, featuring the group titans of /an/, the feared orcs of /tg/, and the rebuilt /n/. Many projected /asp/ to go 3rd and become relegated to the Babby Cup.

/asp/ played /tg/ in their opening match, which was also Groudon's first livemanaged match. With some good lucks from other managers, /asp/ went in with their new look and new determination to finally win the cup. Early in the game, Cena would give a perfect throughball pass to newly promoted and gold Box/MT + Judo/BJJ for a goal past Emprah, marking /asp/'s first goal of the tournament. Heavy defending soon followed, a recurring theme throughout /asp/'s Winter Cup run as Black Ref would be able to save anything that got past the defense. However, tired defenses ended up taking a toll, and a mistake by Airshit allowed /tg/ star striker Doomrider to get a goal to end the match 1-1. /tg/ would later go on to win the Winter Cup.

/asp/ would then play the projected group winner in /an/. The two teams had matched up previously in the 2013 Autumn Babby Cup Qualifiers to a 1-1 draw. In a battle of the Eliteastrisk and group titans, the two sides balanced each other out for most of the match. Tactics were not changed all game for /asp/ as it seemed like the match would end in a 0-0 snoozer. Not helping things as well was Cena, who was out of sorts and struggling all game as the defense was paying close attention. It seemed as if this game was going to be like the previous game these two had played. However, a mistake by the defense in the 90th minute allowed Cena to get the ball in the box and score, managing to put out a stunning result with /asp/ winning 1-0.

Their final match was against /tg/. All /asp/ needed to do was not lose or for /tg/ to win in the next match for /asp/ to move onto the knockouts. They were playing newly relegated /n/, who was playing a strange formation. With this in /asp/'s mind. The team went full-blast on the attack. This led to a Cenawinslol hat trick, a goal from Pipebomb, and a goal from Box/MT + Judo/BJJ, ending the game 5-0 as /asp/ made a statement going into the knockouts.

/asp/ was matched up against last cup's runner-up in /hr/. There was also a controversial decision to put in new goalie wunderkind VACANT in place of the favorite veteran and still one of the best GKs in the cup, Black Ref. Tensions were high going into the match, but the mantra of surprising defense from a historically offensive team kept strong. Meanwhile, Box/MT + Judo/BJJ and American Dragon would both provide regular goals, as well as a frustration penalty past the 90th minute that allowed American Dragon to get another goal. /asp/ had made their first Quarterfinals since the previous year.

Their next match would be against /lit/. Sounds of YES were in the arena during the anthems as hopes were raised among the fanbase that /asp/ could reach it's first semifinals. However, it did not go as planned for /asp/. Their attack in the first half would prove to be futile and /lit/ striker DFW scored a goal. In a very controversial decision, /asp/ manager Groudon replaced CB Airshit with CMF Bork Lazer and changed to a different formation. This would not prove to help matters at all and so, with the /asp/ manager notably panicked in the first time the team had been down, placed two players out of position in hopes that it would speed up the attack. This would prove to make matters worse as /lit/ star striker Lolita Wanted It would put in the death nail for /asp/, eliminating the team from the Winter Cup.

Summer Cup 2015

This season was off to a rocky start as /asp/ lost 3-1 to /tv/, the 2015 Spring Babby Cup champions. Fortunately, the w/asp/s bounced back by beating up anime related teams afterwards. /e/ was dominated in almost every way, and no amount of oversized breasts could save them from /asp/'s offense as the /asp/ies won 3-1. The mighty >/vp/ was up next and their offense was rendered useless against /asp/. With only 1 shot on target, /vp/ was practically helpless as they lost 2-0.

In the round of 16, /vr/ made /asp/ sweat as the match went into extra time. Fortunately, CENAWINSLOL saved the /asp/ies with a late goal that got the team into the quarterfinals where they would face none other than /mlp/. Though /asp/'s previous 3-0 win against /mlp/ is arguably what started a new era for them, the horsefuckers got their revenge this time, defeating /asp/ 3-1 with CENAWINSLOL scoring the consolation goal.

Winter Cup 2016

This time, the group stage draw didn't seem to be nice for /asp/, as they were placed in Group D with a tough /fit/ side, /soc/ with the power of tactical autism and /k/, a team that initially looked to be a difficult side that slowed matches down. In the first match, Bruce Lee saved /asp/ from defeat against /fit/. Despite having more shots than /fit/, /asp/ left with a 1-1 draw. /soc/ didn't seem to be any easier in the next match, as both teams would end up having the same amount of shots. However, one man stepped up at the last minute to get /asp/ the 3 points in the end...

Following that close game, /asp/ now had to face /k/, who scored no goals, but also had a strong defense that managed to help them get a 0-0 draw against /fit/, the team that would later be the champions of this cup. Surprisingly, this match ended up being one of the easiest matches for /asp/ in their history, as they took a 5-0 lead in the first half. Things slowed down in the second half, and CENAWINSLOL added insult to injury with the 6th and final goal of the match. Unfortunately, the fun was over in the round of 16. /s4s/ eliminated the w/asp/s after a penalty kick shootout.

Summer Cup 2016

New faces like THE GAY COMMUNITY and Brother Nero arrived to /asp/'s roster at a tough time for the team. /e/ got an upset victory over /asp/ with Bruce Lee scoring the consolation goal in that 3-1 loss. Following that disappointing performance, Big Match John saved the team from a loss to /mu/ with a double that got his team 1 point out of a 2-2 draw. With only 1 point after two matches, /asp/ was very close to being relegated for the first time since being promoted to the 2014 Winter Cup. Big Match John needed all the help he could get, and he got it from Brother Nero in the match against /w/. Just when the team needed to win by two goals, Brother Nero scored a double, but Powerlevel's single goal was keeping /asp/ in the babbies. At the very last minute of the match, Big Match John got the third goal /asp/ desperately needed in order to avoid relegation in a 3-1 thriller of a match.

At the round of 16, it was time to face /soc/, a formidable team that got 9 points out of their group. Brother Nero and Big Match John proved to be a deadly duo once again as they got /asp/ a 3-2 win. The team didn't celebrate this win too much, though, since it meant they had to face none other than /mlp/ in the quarterfinals. With Dave Meltzer taking notes and coughing like a maniac in the Tokyo Dome, /mlp/'s >Rape scored a hat trick that eliminated /asp/ in the quarterfinals again. Brother Nero and Big Match John tried to keep the dream alive, but their efforts weren't enough in a 3-2 loss to the eventual champions.