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Picture
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No.
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Name
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Description
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99
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Archive It
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"Let's archive it" - Nordbot
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0
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Issam Zahreddine
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Formerly the major general of the Syrian Arab Army in besieged Deir-ez-Zor, Issam (also referred to affectionately as "the Druze Beast") became a national hero for his bravery and resilience, defending his city from the (((Islamic State))) for over three whole years relying on airdrops alone, and fighting alongside his men. However, the legend of Issam ended when he was killed by a land mine shortly after the siege was lifted; while he has been immortalized on /pol/s Syria general (/sg/), on this team he follows in his leader Assad's footsteps as a goalkeeper for the board.
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69
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Memeball
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A meme best associated with the anarcho-capitalist presence on /pol/, it is most often used depicting strawmans associated with the ideology (i.e. killing your neighbor with a child slave army because he violated the NAP by looking onto your property, bending the light waves by the Observer effect), but is also seen regarding other ideologies, nation, 4chan boards, etc. The memeball is the primary representative of /pol/s /ancap/ general, and makes up the majority of that general's team in the /pol/league.
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Dodge Challenger
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With /pol/ looking for more iconic defenders, the team turned went the /o/ route and instead of recruiting a stupid Miata, Twingo, or 80s Toyota Corolla, they got an American muscle car legend. The Challenger, famous on /pol/ for running down a horde of antifa during the Charlottesville #UnitetheRight rally in 2017, is a new fan favorite, and stands to protect /pol/ against defeat and degeneracy on the field; all 305 horsepower of it. Driven by James Alex Fields, Jr.
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8
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DEUS VULT
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Participating in the Crusades, European knights have been long revered by /pol/s Christian community for removing kebab before it was cool. Commissioned by Pope Urban II, these heroes want nothing more than to retake the Holy Land, namely the city of Jerusalem. Driven forward by their calls of DEUS VULT, (or "god wills it"), the knights's everlasting presence as a defender for /pol/ cannot be understated, as all Muslims cower before their feet. Si Deus Pro Nobis, Quis Contras Nos?
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24
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AfD-Chan
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While modern-day Germany is a very cucked nation, the people of the once-great Reich have taken steps towards the right once more with the rise in popularity of political party Alternative for Deutschland (AfD). While the party has suffered many schisms, it performed very well in the country's elections in 2017, and is currently the third strongest party in the Fatherland. Supporters of the party have affectionately made an anime character as a symbol for the alt-right, identitarianism, and nationalism.
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68
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Dindu Nuffin
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Whether it be the actions of young black future scientists such as Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, or Rodney King, the black community always stands by their side in solidarity against the evil police officers of WHITE AMERICA. These poor souls did nothing wrong, went to church every week, and were 5.0 students in school, and it must be known that black lives do indeed matter. While teammates such as Moonman may dislike Dindu's presence on the team, our inclusion of him reflects /pol/s acceptance of diversity and rejection of racism in all forms.
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73
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Little Rocket Man Kim
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The supreme ruler of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, Kim Jong-un is unique on the team for he is one of the few communist members in /pol/ team history. An avid fan of nuclear power, basketball, and fetish porn, the son of Kim Jong-il looks to finally establish to the world that he has AUTHORITY. While Kim's inexperience is notable on the team as well as the political sphere, he is tasked with representing the final great totalitarian dictatorship in the world.
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23
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Alex Jones
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A prominent conspiracy theorist and water filter merchant based out of Austin, Texas, Alex Jones is the leader of InfoWars, a media outlet that pushes alternative news and looks to protect free speech, patriotism, and freedom. Fueled by Super Male Vitality and Brain Force, Alex features superior testosterone levels and brain functionality on the field, and has vowed to protect /pol/ against human-animal hybrids and gay frogs. His fervor towards fighting the globalists is unmatched, and the Rothschilds should most certainly be afraid.
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55
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Ben Garrison
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A prominent anti-Semite and leader of the American Nazi Party's Ministry of Public Enlightenment, "Zyklon Ben" Garrison is a long-standing member of the team, silently providing his superior propaganda value to the team as a defender. Off the field, he is credited with creating great political cartoons targeting the left, which has earned him great fame in the eyes of /pol/lacks. While he insists that he is a libertarian and not a National Socialists, if you look behind the facade, you will find that he is full 14/88.
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Truck of Peace
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Not satisfied with just adding the Dodge Challenger to the team, /pol/ called upon its connections with the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant, and was able to rent out one of the jihadi group's own Trucks of Peace, responsible for numerous terrorist attacks in Europe, where the truck has been used to run down numerous infidels. While the inclusion of the truck is certainly controversial, it reflects the European will to submit to Islam as well as the front grill of a Renault Midium cargo truck, an issue that /pol/ is definitely interested in.
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45
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Donald Trump
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Arguably one of the greatest figures in /pol/ history, billionaire, real estate mogul, and TV star Donald J. Trump became the poster-child of /pol/ and the alt-right as a whole after winning the United States 2016 presidential election on a platform of nationalism, anti-globalism, and populism. Aided by /pol/s superior meme-making army, Trump would pull off one of the greatest upsets in American political history, defeating Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton. As a result, DJT is one of the most popular players on /pol/, as he looks to make the 4chan cup great again. #MAGA
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2
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The Bogdanoffs
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Thanks to the secrecy of these elusive French twins, you may need a quick rundown of why and how they control our world. While you can always ask a generous /pol/lack, let it be known that the Rothschilds do indeed bow down to the Bogdanoffs and their special powers. Their music is known for its meditative qualities, as it allows for an individual to become "bogpilled", which is considered to be the final pill, and the hardest pill to swallow. While we may not know the intentions of the Bogdanoffs, we can only hope that they are good.
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6
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Jews
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OY VEY! A veteran member of the /pol/ team, Jews, a god-tier shekel-collector, represents the one and only tribe of Zion in the 4chan cup. While Jews's loyalty to the team is often called into question, it is sure that as long as he is given his shekels, the Merchant will never fail to deliver. A /pol/ fan favorite, and an eternal meme thanks to his player design, legend has it that his nose increases in size with every goal he scores. OY GEVALT! SHUT IT DOWN!!!
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88
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Hitler
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The Führer himself. An artist, vegetarian, non-smoker, animal lover, and political icon, since 2012, Papa Adolf has extended his greatness into football. The heart and soul of /pol/, Hitler has proven that he is not just a great person, but a great athlete, being the 2nd highest scorer in the team's history. Energizing /pol/s loyal fanbase, a fan cannot resist going full fash as he races past the defense, outwitting the goalkeeper like he outwitted the French in 1940 to lead us towards greatness. SIEG HEIL!!!! 卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐
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59
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Assad
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The leader of the Syrian Arab Republic since 2000, and long-time /pol/ goalkeeper, Bashar al-Assad is a legend in the /pol/ community, namely its Syria general (/sg/). Taking the fight directly to the (((Islamic State))), peaceful moderate rebels, and the K*rds, Assad has shown his love for his nation, resisting (((Western))) influence with the help of his buddy Vladimir Putin. The veteran continues to contribute to the team, now in the midfield, and proving to everyone that YOU CANNOT MOSSAD THE ASSAD.
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77
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Breivik
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Norwegian national socialist who was the holder of the mass killing high score for years after gunning down a left-wing indoctrination camp. Fortunately, since Norway is cucked and has a very lenient prison system, /pol/ is able to rent out Breivik's services, and as a result he has been a long-standing member of the team. A true hero and defender of a free Europe, Breivik continues to stand in solidarity with national socialism against globalist and communist incursion.
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12
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Doompaul
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One of /pol/s classic memes, Doompaul is one the original members of /pol/ in the 4chan cup, leading the team back during his peak in 2012. Based on 2012 Republican presidential nominee and staunch libertarian Ron Paul, the OG continues to serve the team to this day, warning us all that "we truly could have prevented this" and that "it's happening". While Doompaul's role has greatly diminished over the years, his presence serves as a testament to the roots of this great team.
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1
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Madman Hyde
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American comedian responsible for LITERALLY every single mass shooting in recent history. Whether it be mowing down churchgoers in Texas, you can count on CNN to report that the madman was involved. While we all know that he will strike again, the same question stands: CAN HE EVER BE STOPPED? Tends to make sporadic public appearances, scaring the hell out of those who know his true identity, and is often seen holding a Kalashnikov rifle, preparing for his next massacre. Spends his free time as a midfielder for /pol/, striking even on the field.
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7
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Peaceful Buddhist
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A newcomer to the /pol/ team, the peaceful buddhist made a name for himself in Myanmar after honing his inner-Serbia to remove kebab en masse. Wiping out a ton of Rohingya Muslims in mid-2017, he has garnered the anger of the international community, namely the (((UN))) for resisting Islamic incursion. His actions have shown that Buddhists are willing to defeat the religion of peace, and that Christians are indeed the most cucked religion in the present day. The Buddha must be proud.
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14
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Stormfront
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This perfect Aryan male, representative of the now-defunct white nationalist internet community Stormfront, has long been the most successful member of /pol/, standing alongside his hero Hitler since the team's creation. A recipient of two Golden Boot awards and team franchise leader in goals scored, the veteran will always be loved by the /pol/ community for being such a devastating weapon out on the field.
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18
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Moonman
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The newest face to break out on the /pol/ scene, Moonman began his career as a mascot for American fast-food giant McDonalds' late-night menu selections. However, after he fell out of favor with the company, he decided to become a meme, speaking out in favor of white supremacy by using music. His rap abilities have made him one of the most beloved figures on the board, with his music being played almost ubiquitously by /pol/lacks, and featured as his goal horn here in the 4chan cup. "Moonman, Moonman can't you see, spics and niggers need to hang from trees and I just love your racist way, that's why their mom is so black and you're so great."
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10
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Zimmerman
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A normal American man, who became the subject of many of /pol/s threads after he shot a black teenager in self-defense. Utilizing Florida's "Stand Your Ground" Law, Zimmerman was acquitted, prompting massive rage from the black community in America, and lolz from /pol/. While Zimmerman still appears in the news sporadically for getting involved in local fights, he spends most of his free time playing for /pol/ in the 4chan cup, making it eternally known that you CAN'T FLIM FLAM THE ZIM ZAM and CAN'T SIMMER THE ZIMMER.
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