Difference between revisions of "/u/ roster"

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m (fixed Teru Time's picture and description, Sanya's description, Akkarin's image. still to fix: Ayaya's image, heights/weights/footedness, ruin my user page for anything else that needs improving)
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| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; background: #BFBFBF"| '''Akkarin'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; background: #BFBFBF"| '''Akkarin'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; background: #BFBFBF"| [[File:Akariiin.jpg|250px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; background: #BFBFBF"| [[File:AKKARIIIN~.png|250px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; background: #BFBFBF"| The ultimate sneakiness, the living embodiment of avoiding the limelight, /u/ proudly presents: Akar- Eh? Where'd she go...?
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; background: #BFBFBF"| The ultimate sneakiness, the living embodiment of avoiding the limelight, /u/ proudly presents: Akar- Eh? Where'd she go...?
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| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; background: #BFBFBF"| '''Teru Time'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; background: #BFBFBF"| '''Teru Time'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; background: #BFBFBF"| [[File:Teru_time.jpg|250px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; background: #BFBFBF"| [[File:Look_at_the_teru_time.png|250px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; background: #BFBFBF"| Be afraid.
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; background: #BFBFBF"| Which brings us to Saki's older sister, Miyanaga Teru. From the way people talk about her, she seems to be some kind of supreme god of Mahjong, which means she must also be some kind of supreme god of lesbianism. Her dyke level must be comparable to the likes of Satou Sei and Fujino Shizuru, if not higher. She must have some kind of aura, covering a fairly wide distance, which causes any female who walks into it to suddenly start blushing bright red, have an accelerated heartbeat and heavy breathing. Some must even pass out from dehydration, due to their vaginas overflowing in a sudden and uncontrollable explosion of love juices, which drains a great deal of moisture from their bodies. Indeed, so much as laying eyes on Miyanaga Teru will cause a girl to throw her dignity and self-respect out the window and start desperately pleasuring herself on the spot. And if the Teru takes a liking to her, it's all over. Her mind will never recover, but she won't care because her body will be in heaven.
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| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| '''Sanya V Litvyak'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| '''Sanya V Litvyak'''
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:SANYA_V_LITVYAK.jpg|250px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| [[File:SANYA_V_LITVYAK.jpg|250px|link=]]
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Oh, it's been repealed? Eh, like anyone ever had any doubt in the first place.
| style="border-style: solid; border-width: 1px"| Top player in the Dyke Witches interunit football league, Sanya V. Litvyak is on a mission to make her waifu proud of her.
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Revision as of 21:14, 27 July 2014

Main Roster

Starting 11

Position No. Name Image Description Height (cm) Weight (kg) Foot
GK 7 Madokami Madokami Is Real.jpg She Who Saves, a stalwart of the /u/ team from it's inception. Originally intending to keep a watchful eye on Akemi Homura, her utter failure to prevent her transformation into Homucifer has steeled her resolve to let nothing past her, so that no magical girl divegrass fan would ever have to feel despair ever again. 190 76 Right
LB 4 Dying Arisawa Phone senpai.jpg Once upon a time, she forgot her phone and ended up with a lesbian stalker. Arisawa has (scandalously) no interest in acquiring more of the type, and so will do her best not to leave any passes behind. 200 93 Right
CB 8 Goggles Yoorie goggles.jpg Capable of spinning an entire tragic love story out of a single meeting of eyes! Willing to ignore all types of denial when a single hand has been held! Nothing gets past Goggles! 187 85 Right
CB 18 Onee-sama ONEESAMA.jpg Less a single person and more a representation of what thousands of young lesbians fawn over every day, The Onee-sama is one of the founding tenements of lesbianism. She has taken to being a Center Back for /u/ because she's quite experienced at being the center of a person's world. 179 65 Left
RB 13 BEFRIENDING Befriending in process.jpg A commonplace mating ritual of the Action Lesbian (Dynamicans Sappho), BEFRIENDING typically involves giant laser beams and staggeringly homoerotic declarations. Just as BEFRIENDING lets two girls pick up in the right place, so too has BEFRIENDING taken up the position of right back. 190 75 Left
CMF 26 Spontaneous Combustion Face on fucking fire.png A strange phenomena that, while widespread across most of existence, is particularly rampant among lesbians. Spontaneous Combustion has continuously turned down offers from both /sci/ and /x/, preferring to be near her beloved Onee-sama. Though it improves her technical play, /u/ management has had to employ a crack squad of Action Lesbians standing by with buckets of water, lest Onee-sama praise her too much. 171 67 Left
DMF 3 Sumisumi Sumisumi.jpg Taking time out from her busy schedule of being on the student council, Sumisumi takes to the pitch to defend not only the Trick way of life but also her stupid fucking moustache on a stick-no ja. 185 82 Right
AMF (Captain) 14 Akkarin AKKARIIIN~.png The ultimate sneakiness, the living embodiment of avoiding the limelight, /u/ proudly presents: Akar- Eh? Where'd she go...? 185 80 Right
CMF 1 Teru Time Look at the teru time.png Which brings us to Saki's older sister, Miyanaga Teru. From the way people talk about her, she seems to be some kind of supreme god of Mahjong, which means she must also be some kind of supreme god of lesbianism. Her dyke level must be comparable to the likes of Satou Sei and Fujino Shizuru, if not higher. She must have some kind of aura, covering a fairly wide distance, which causes any female who walks into it to suddenly start blushing bright red, have an accelerated heartbeat and heavy breathing. Some must even pass out from dehydration, due to their vaginas overflowing in a sudden and uncontrollable explosion of love juices, which drains a great deal of moisture from their bodies. Indeed, so much as laying eyes on Miyanaga Teru will cause a girl to throw her dignity and self-respect out the window and start desperately pleasuring herself on the spot. And if the Teru takes a liking to her, it's all over. Her mind will never recover, but she won't care because her body will be in heaven. 189 74 Right
SS 10 Purest Form Of Love Toopure4you.png So fucking p/u/re. 181 87 Right
CF 6 Homucifer Long live the new lesbian god, same as the old lesbian god.jpg Once merely Homura Akemi, Homucifer has now transcended mortality in order to spend more time with her beloved Madokami. Since Madokami plays divegrass, Homucifer will too. There was some discussion about whether her mortal goalscoring record would carry over to her new form, but such actions have been revealed as the work of the Incubators, attempting to undermine Homucifer's position as Glorious Lesbian Overlord of All Creation. 180 86 Right

Substitutes

Position No. Name Image Description Height (cm) Weight (kg) Foot
GK 11 Spitting Distance Spitting distance.jpg Goalpost-chan and Trollpost-chan are deeply in love, and this girl will let no foolish ball interfere with their love! 180 83 Right
GK 12 Not Blood Sisters Not blood related.png Has her hands far too full keeping the Morality Ball out of the Strictly Speaking Incest net to stop her nee-chan's amorous advances. 195 ?? Right
LB 33 Nio-ssu Nio-ssu's lovely smile.png Despite her tiny stature, Nio is fired up to prove her position on the team isn't just a product of her fucking the chairwoman-ssu. 180 82 Right
CB 44 ANGST AND DRAMA Angst.png Without few thousand painfully stupid misunderstandings and whining sessions, can you really call yourself a yuri series? 170 71 Left
CB 20 Macarons Macarons.jpg Not only delicious and gay, but also the signal for everyone to start an edit war over how they're spelled. 181 78 Right
CB 31 Ruined Birthday Party This is the best i could fucking do upload a better image if you can be arsed.png It's not so much the gay kissing as the 'destiny of the universe' part that ruined it, to be honest. 181 84 Right
LB 5 Cousins By The Way Cousins.jpg Marrying your cousin is legal in Nipponland, but marrying a girl isn't. Maybe that's why so many lesbian cousin couples exist. Related to Not Blood Sisters. 185 79 Right
RB 51 Sanya V Litvyak SANYA V LITVYAK.jpg Top player in the Dyke Witches interunit football league, Sanya V. Litvyak is on a mission to make her waifu proud of her. 189 76 Right
RB 15 Science Babies Science babbies.png When a girl and another girl love each other very much, sometimes science steps in and provides a lovely little bundle of joy to keep them awake at night with her horrible screaming and crying. Technically speaking on loan from /sci/, Science Babies is eager to make Mommy and Mommy proud. 169 65 Right
DMF 2 Feito-chan Feito-chan.png Converted from /a/ by BEFRIENDING, Feito-chan has been a stalwart of the team ever since then. Though some have called her loyalty into question, as long as she gets a regular lasering from BEFREINDING, Feito-chan says she'll happily stay with /u/. 180 78 Left
CMF 9 Black Sunshine Senshou jing.jpg A recent addition to the squad, Black Sunshine claimed her reason for signing up was to "stop the Cup so that Hibiki won't have to keep playing." Refusing to give her name out, all that's known about her is that she plays with redoubled enthusiasm against /m/. 178 65 Right
CMF 79 Ayaya AYAYA.jpg Yo no soy lesbiana! Lo que pasa es que quiero pasar mi vida con mi amigo de la infancia! 175 74 Left