Name
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Image
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Playing Style
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Description
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Position/No.
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Skill cards
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DEAGLE BRAND DEAGLE
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Offensive Fullback
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A large and (relatively) powerful handgun, the Desert Eagle (or "Deagle") is a popular firearm in media such as movies or video games despite being woefully impractical in real life. The Desert Eagle design is owned and currently produced by Magnum Research Inc. However, the largely uninformed audiences of the previously mentioned media tend not to recognize this, confusing Desert Eagle to also be the name of the company, hence a "Deagle" Brand Deagle.
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LB #44
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Weighted Pass, Low Lofted Pass, Man Marking
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IVAN CHESNOKOV
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None
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A tripfag, that became more of posting style meme, from a while back who posted in all-caps broken English to insult anyone who posted slavshit with tacticool furniture or accessories. Essentially, the joke was that he was some angry Russian who couldn't believe the stupid things people did to historical rifles that were just fine as they were, insinuating they had in fact made their weapons less capable in doing so. A good portion of /k/ tends to agree with this line of thought, while another portion finds it absolutely insufferable, the conflict it creates is obvious.
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CMF #47
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Weighted Pass, Track Back, Interception
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OBREZ
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Offensive Fullback
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Loosely translated from Russian as "sawn-off" and may apply to any long arm made short, on /k/ it most frequently describes a Moist Nugget that has been cut down to a bolt action pistol. Such weapons were notorious in the past of being the weapon of partisans, gangsters, ruffians, and more seeking the strength of a full power cartridge in an easy to conceal firearm. Infamously described as "wrist-breaker" likely to set a target on fire at close enough range, the Obrez is a common discussion topic. Despite its acclaim, it's not often made by US /k/ommandos, as such a modification would constitute a Short Barrel Rifle, requiring ATF paperwork and a tax stamp (which generally costs more than the 91/30) to be legal.
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RB #30
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One-touch Pass, Low Lofted Pass, Man Marking
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ATF
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Offensive Fullback
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Our beloved Alcohol, Tabacco and Fireams Agency that just wants the best for every gun owner in the country. Sadly, many /k/ommandos lost all of their guns in tragic boating accidents, when questioned by ATF Agents. The people emplyoed at the ATF also seem to have a distinct hate against any kind of dog. They love shooting the dogs of their suspects for no apparent reason other than fun.
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DMF #42
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One-touch Pass, Low Lofted Pass, Man Marking, Track Back
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A LITTERAL FUCKING GUN PLAYING SOCCER
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Offensive Fullback
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*shoots your ball*
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LB #11
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One-touch Pass, Low Lofted Pass, Man Marking
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IS THAT A FAMAS
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Build Up
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Common reply on /k/ to various posts. A FAMAS is a French bullpup style assault rifle. If an OP should ever inquire about the name of a particular weapon or post a picture of weapon without specifically naming it, usually one or more poster will declare said weapon to be a FAMAS. Board lore holds that once upon a time an anon, who only knew the FAMAS by name and reputation, asked this about a weapon that was very clearly not a FAMAS. The ensuing ridicule of said poster was so great, that people still make fun about him today by asking "is that a FAMAS?" about anything and everything, the more ridiculous the better.
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CB #3
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One-touch Pass, Man Marking, Interception
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Alexander Pavlovich Lobanov
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Anchor Man
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A crazy Soviet man that spent most of his life doing nothing but painting self portraits of himself with guns.
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DMF #8
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One-touch Pass, Low Lofted Pass, Man Marking
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NAVY SEAL PASTA
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Build Up
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A popular form of copy-pasta on many boards of 4chan, the rambling, expletive-riddled threat is a common response after someone is insulted by another. From references to gorilla(sic) warfare to declarations of IP tracking, the tirade goes at great lengths to spell out just what consequences the anon will suffer for having insulted the wrong super soldier. Naturally, variations on the original are wide spread and limited only by imagination.
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CB #1
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One-touch Pass, Man Marking, Interception
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HICKOK45
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Hole Player
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A popular Youtube personality on /k/, Hickok45 would like to thank Bud's Gun Shop and Federal Ammo for his place on the team. He is an older gentleman with a long history with firearms. From his personal range, he often displays the capabilities of various firearms, as well as his own notable marksmanship, while giving off an air of the Grandpa any /k/ommando would love to have. His favorite targets include 2 Liter bottles filled with colored water as well as various fruits, gongs, and metal animal cut outs that frequent his backyard.
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AMF #28
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First-time Shot, Weighted Pass, Low Lofted Pass
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THAT SHOULDER THING THAT GOES UP
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The Destroyer
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During an interview with MSNBC, Representative Carolyn McCarthy, (D) New York, was asked a question in regards to the contents of a proposed gun control bill she was sponsoring. The interviewer noted the bill would ban weapons possessing forward grips and barrel shrouds, he then asked Representative McCarthy what a barrel shroud was. McCarthy attempted to avoid the question, but was called to answer repeatably. She eventually admitted that she did not know what the term meant, offering that she thought it might be "the shoulder thing that goes up." This, of course, was completely wrong and rather humorous to anyone with even a basic knowledge of the parts of a gun. However, it was also rather distressing, as the inferred understanding became that those attempting to regulate guns generally had no idea what they're talking about and, worse, were attempting to pass legislation on gun control anyway. Along with "high-capacity clips" and "fully semi-automatic", it is a popular buzzword /k/ommandos use to mock someone they believe has little no know understanding of firearms.
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CMF #20
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One-touch Pass, Weighted Pass, Track Back, Interception
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COSMOLINE
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Anchor Man
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A grease-like preservative and rust preventative, cosmoline is the /k/ommando's greatest ally against rust and his greatest bane to clean. When well covered in cosmoline, metal becomes nearly impervious to the effects of outside moisture and humidity, allowing it to be stored for long periods of time. So when someone buys their seventy year old surplus rifle that's been in cosmoline storage, they can reasonably be assured rust won't be much of a problem. However, the trouble comes when they attempt to clean it off, as it is notoriously pervasive and difficult to remove. Some /k/ommandos have declared their fondness for the smell, feel, and even taste of cosmoline. Ingestion, injection, or insertion is not recommended.
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DMF #9
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One-touch Pass, Weighted Pass, Track Back, Interception
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STOPPAN POWER
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Offensive Goalkeeper
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A historical term meant to accentuate the apparent value of ammunition that imparts a larger degree of penetrating force into its target, thereby causing the target to "stop" its progress. Not necessarily a measure of lethality, it is a frequently debated matter on /k/ (and the firearm community as a whole) about what actually factors into the term, its subsequent implied nature, and whether or not it's a proper measure of effectiveness. This invariably devolves into a Caliber War where cries of "lol only 9mm", "fuddy-five acp", or ".40 Short and Weak" are thrown wildly back and forth.
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GK #45
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GK Long Throw, GK Penalty Specialist
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