/poland/

/Poland/
Bastion of Christianity
/Poland/ - Polan
Founded 966 AD Manager Piast Owner The Sovereign State of Poland IRL manager Suule !!/bQ+kfA6ObJ Team colors Chat color FFFFFF Pure White Ranking N/A Highest rank N/A (N/A) Lowest rank N/A (N/A) Top scorer Kazimierz the Great (8) Top assister Geralt (4) Captain Kazimierz the Great Website /Poland/ - Polan Nickname Pollacks, Kurwas
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY 3 1 0 4 75%
GF GA GD 15 5 +10
Biggest win /poland/  6–0  /br/ September 9, 2017 Biggest defeat TBD  –  TBD First match /csa/  2–2  /poland/ September 1 2016
Elite Cup Appearances N/A (First in N/A) Best result N/A, N/A Babby Cup Appearances N/A (First in N/A) Best result N/A, N/A
Team music
Anthem Bogurodzica Victory anthem Civilization V - Casmir Peace (Bóg się Rodzi) Goal horn Koko Koko Euro Spoko Kazimierz The Great Goalhorn T.Raperzy znad Wisły - Kazmimierz Wielki Rap Geralt of Rivia Goalhorn Witcher I OST - Prepare for Battle Makumba Goalhorn Big Cyc - Makumba Winged Hussar Goalhorn Sabaton - Winged Hussars
Kits
Home kit Away kit Goalkeeper kit Third kit

Introduction

Glorious Nation of Poland is here to liberate everyone from the Germano-Soviet-Russo-Swede-Turk-Ukranian menace... and play memetic divegrass.

Exports

Team: As Invitational 17
Aesthetics: Excludes stadium
Other: Music in Rigdio format

Players

No. Position Player 1   GK Bastion of The West 95   LB 100% Catholic 76   CB Space Program 99   CB Polish Immigrant 10   RB "The Father" Rydzyk 88   CMF Ja Pierdole 44   CMF Kurwa 96   CMF Makumba 2   AMF Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz 3   SS Geralt 8   CF Kazimierz the Great

No. Position Player 25   GK Jan III "Roach Slayer" Sobieski 20   GK Józef "Commie Crusher" Piłsudzki 0   LB Polski Thread 40   CB 19 Promils 48   CB > Ukraine Polish Clay 10   RB Fryderyk Chopin 83   CMF Winged Hussar 13   CMF 13-Year old with neostrada 20   DMF Eastern Poland 90   CMF "GROM" 26   DMF Sino-Polish War 6   CMF Izaak Rosenberg

Career Goals

Player	Goals
Kazimierz the Great	8
Geralt	2
O Kurwa	2
Zdzisław Brzęczysczykiewicz	1
Makumba	1
Ja Pierdole	1

Career Assists

Player	Assists
Geralt	4
Winged Hussar	2
Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz	2
Ja Pierdole	1
O Kurwa	1
Kazimierz the Great	1
Fryderyk Chopin	1

Team Photo

Best Lineup
Starting from the upper left:
Jan III "Roach Slayer" Sobieski, >>Ukraine Polish Clay, Makumba, Ja Pierdole, 19 Promils, Kazimierz the Great
100% Catholic, "The Father" Rydzyk, Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz, Winged Hussar, Geralt

Roster Description

Player	Polish Lesson of the Day/Cheat Sheet
Kazimierz The Great	Basically best Polish King ever - built the foundation for the Polish Golden age by building cities, castles and alliances, also married 3 times and died childless.
Geralt	From the Polish book series, turned film, turned TV series, turned video game, turned TV series. Sexy as fuck, morally grey and gets all the girls. Also slays monsters. Polish best export next to this team and vodka.
Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz	One of the names that confuses German spies, custom officers and government officials. It does exist IRL.
Makumba	Polish black man. In the 90s he was brought to everybody's attention with a catchy punk reggae song. Poland has a shitton of black people in the cities. They just don't go around blowing stuff up and slicing people apart.
O Kurwa	Polish callsign. Kurwa has variety of uses as it can be transformed into a verb, adjective or stay a noun, which usually is a derogatory name for a prostitute.
Ja Pierdole	Another callsign. Pierdole like Kurwa is a word that can be used in variety of ways either as a noun, verb or adjective. It means "Fucking."
"The Father" Rydzyk	Polish priest that is de-facto leader of Polish church and a major political figure due to the amount of money he amassed, TV he is running, radio he is running, school he is running... in US terms - Televangelist/lobbyist with ties to government. Shits on the Pope constantly no matter who's the Pope.
Polish Immigrant	Source of Polish Jokes. For years the immigrants were dumb idiots or criminals that the communist country sent off everywhere to get rid of them in the countries. Smart people were kept inside so they wouldn't dissent. Right now you get as many smart immigrants as the dumb ones.
Polish Space Program	Despite the meme, we have one cosmonaut - Hermaszewski and supplies European Space Agency with a shitton of sensors for the satellites.
100% Catholic	In every census Poland is deemed 99%-100% Catholic despite there being a large Orthodox minority, some Muslims, a good deal of Buddhists (Thanks Vietnam) and of course Protestants. It's also an excuse why Polish Catholic Church has a lot of power here. BTW: 4 centuries ago Catholics were a minority.
Bastion of the West	We saved Europe in ...1683, 1920, 1940, 1944, 1989... basically what Germany tries to do we thwart.
Jan III "Roach Slayer" Sobieski	Last of the great Polish kings. Known for being the best Roach exterminator and inspiration for every Serb out there.
Józef "Commie Crusher" Piłsudski	A socialist terrorist, turned general, turned marshall, turned politcian, turned de-facto head of state. He hated commies so hard he has beaten them so hard in 1920, Europe was safe for 19 years.
Polish Thread	On 4chan the amount of Polish shitposting is high - best observed on /b/, /v/, /int/ and especially /mlp/.
19 Promils	Polish people like Russians can withstand large quantities of alcohol. The one record is a schoolkid that had 19 promils ( 1.9% alcohol content in blood ) and still survived. Usually normal Europeans can withstand 4.5 promils, which is 0.45% alcohol content in blood.
>> Ukraine Polish Clay	Ukraine despite being Ruthenia/Rus back in a day got turned into what was a Polish colony. They are still butthurt about that. But after Russians are kicking their ass, they might've been better off with us.
Fryderyk Chopin	Japanese people love our pianist. To the point they make video games with them. Seriously.
Winged Hussar	Polish Cavalry tradition = best. And yes it has a specific goalhorn. THAT ONE.
13-year old with Neostrada	Our version of AOL kids. And source of endless webms.
Eastern Poland	Post-communist shithole full of Rednecks. Who the fuck would invest THERE?
GROM	This formation makes /k/ wet. Our (((Secret))) Export. Currently fucked over by the current goverment.
Sino-Polish War	One day Poland will absorb Russia and we will border China... who we will fight.
Izaak Rosenberg	Everyone in the upper echelons of Polish government is a Jew... or Hungarian. Also about half of Polish dishes are of Jewish origins. Who do we kid. We're Israel v2.0.

Match History

Date	Opponent	Competition	Result	Scorers
September 1, 2017	/csa/	Multinational Bowl 2 Group Stage	2-2 D	Kazimierz the Great  25' Makumba  84'
September 2, 2017	/hvn/	Multinational Bowl 2 Group Stage	4-2 W	Kazimierz the Great  4' Ja Pierdole  23' Geralt  35' Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz  79'
September 3, 2017	/ne/	Multinational Bowl 2 Group Stage	3-1 W	Kazimierz the Great  23' Kazimierz the Great  78' Kazimierz the Great  82'
September 9, 2017	/br/	Multinational Bowl 2 Round of 16	6-0 W	Geralt  32' O Kurwa  76' Kazimierz the Great  86' Kazimierz the Great  88' Kazimierz the Great  90+1' O Kurwa  90+4'