/k/ History

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History

Early 4chan Cups

After misfiring in the 2011 Summer Cup, /k/ returned locked and loaded for the 2012 Winter Cup. Following a string of dominating results in the winter friendlies orchestrated by AK-47 and co, including three results that caused a famous crisis in the /sp/ camp, /k/ seemed armed and dangerous going into the tournament. Despite an initial scare with a penalty kick victory over /mu/, they settled into the tournament quickly and set their sights on the cup. A spectacular 4-2 victory over pre-tournament favorites /tg/ saw /k/ truly set themselves apart from the crowd, and on their path to glory. Eventually, /k/ overcame a powerful /sp/ side in the final and became Winter Cup Champions.

2012 4chan Summer Cup

Though /k/'s early history saw them become 4chan cup champions, a new format was approaching in the 2012 4chan Summer Cup. There were numerous players from the Winter Cup roster that were replaced. Fans wondered many things as the Summer Cup was approaching. Have these tactical and personnel changes turned /k/ into something unrecognizable? Will it disrupt the winning mentality that gained old /k/ so much success? How will the new players cope with the pressure of being the number 1 seed? With two draws and a loss in the friendlies prior to the Summer Cup, /k/'s fate looked grim.

As /k/'s cup campaign began, there was some hope for glory as they were winning 3-1 against /mu/ by the 71st minute of the match. These hopes were quickly dashed as /mu/ came back with two goals in the last 3 minutes of the match, leaving both teams with one point after a 3-3 draw. /sci/ was hoping to keep themselves alive in the cup after a 5-0 loss to /int/, but /k/ shot them down in a hard fought match were /k/ won 4-3. This win proved to be vital, since it was the only win /k/ ended up needing to advance to the next round. /int/'s rampage continued with /k/ doing little to try and stop them in a 5-1 loss for the defending champions. /x/ would be the next opponent, and as much as they succeeded in scaring /k/ with a 2-1 lead at half time, /k/ came back in the second half like champions, winning the match 3-2.

After the last tournament's upset victory in the final, many fans were hoping for a repeat after /sp/ was accused of another match fixing scandal. /k/ sadly couldn't deliver the same performance as last time and lost 2-0 to /sp/.

2013 4chan Winter Cup

Without a single win in the friendlies that followed the 2012 4chan Summer Cup, /k/ was drawn in a relatively easy group. Things started disastrously with a then record 7-1 defeat to /mu/. After conceding four to an /n/ side crippled with poor conditioning, the group minnow /o/ added insult to injury with a 4-1 defeat that had to be replayed after a crash in the game. /k/ came 31st of 32nd with a -11 goal difference.

2013 4chan Spring Babby Cup

As time continued to go by, /k/ simply could not get any wins. With management abandoning the team, /k/'s fans had no choice but to hope for the best in the Babby Cup group stage. The little reputation that remained for /k/ was crushed after a dull 2-0 loss to /h/. Though the scoreline for the next match suggests that /k/ at least tried their best, the match itself had little signs of change in /k/'s fortunes. /soc/ won 3-2 with one of /k/'s goals coming from yet another >ProActive AI moment. /k/'s former manager, Diplo, returned to the team in time for the last group stage match against /s/ where /k/ once again delivered a bad performance in a 3-0 loss.

2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup

In the 2013 4chan Summer Cup Friendlies, /k/ got their first official win of the year, and then drew against /wsg/ just before the actual cup. This decent form came in part due to new management, but once the cup came around, the manager abandoned the team for reasons that are unknown to this day. The team performed poorly once again, leaving the Autumn Babby Cup group stage with zero points, a result that sent /k/ down to the 2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup Qualifiers.

2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup

A while before the cup started, the qualifying round that /k/ would have had to play was cancelled.

However, the new babby cup format seemed to throw a recently revived team to the wolves as /k/ was drawn with /co/ and /adv/, two teams which were only recently relegated, /pol/, who was also a favorite to top the group, and the minnows of /lit/. Once the cup began, it looked to be another disastrous run as /lit/ got an upset 2-0 victory over the /k/ommandos. Despite the poor display in the first match, /k/ shocked the viewers in the next bout with a strong 3-1 victory over /pol/. Said match saw the discovery of a PES 2014 glitch with marking a corner kick taker. /adv/ got a draw against /k/ with possibly one of the most hilarious goalkeeping blunders in 4chan cup history, courtesy of Castle Doctrine. In spite of /k/'s constant attacks, Captain Hindsight kept the ball from going in again after Zergface's early goal.

In the final group E showdown, it was time to do or die against /co/, and /k/ was triumphant. This 2-0 win sent /k/ back to a main cup for the first time since the 2013 Winter Cup. In the Spring Babby Cup round of 16, another major blunder from Castle Doctrine combined with a Cawadooty red card ended /k/'s run in a 2-0 loss to /diy/.

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  A fan image made in reference to Zergface's hat trick against /pol/

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  Castle Doctrine realizes the weight of his blunder against /adv/

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  /k/ salute the fans after a gigantic win against /co/ - the /k/ommandos were finally back in a major 4chan cup

2014 4chan Summer Cup

With two wins in the friendlies just before the cup, /k/ looked to keep up the good form in their return a top tier cup. Unfortunately, this level of competition got /k/ off to a very slow start. In their first Summer Cup match in two years, /k/ once again lost to /mu/ with Talentless Hack scoring the only goal in a 1-0 defeat. The offense did not improve in the next match as /k/ drew 0-0 against /ic/. Surprisingly, some fortunate events happened in the last fixture that gave /k/ a chance to remain in the major cups.

In the final Group B fixture, /ic/ lost 1-0 to /mu/, meaning that /k/ had to win by at least 3 goals to take second place in the group. More realistically, /k/ could at least hope for a 2-0 win against /wg/ that forced a tiebreaking playoff against /ic/, and that's exactly what happened. The 2013 Summer Cup champions of /wg/ had been on a slump since those days and /k/ showed no mercy: Deagle Brand Deagle and NEVAHBINDUNBEFO ended /wg/'s elite era with a massive 2-0 victory for /k/. Sadly, /k/ could not perform like that against /ic/ in the playoff that ended the matchday. Though Stoppan Powar played his heart out for the team, /k/ was sent back to the babbies with a 2-0 loss.

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  New custom faces made their debut in the team's ill-fated rematch against /mu/

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  /wg/ and /k/'s players as they were before their climactic encounter

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  /ic/ making their way to the pitch for the tiebreaking playoff

2014 4chan Autumn Babby Cup

/k/ signed up for the Autumn Babby Cup, hoping to quickly rebound from their relegation. Going into their first match with /3/, they had high expectations, but an own goal by DMF /ak/ nearly cost them the game, forcing them to settle for a draw. The next match against new founding side /t/ saw /k/ surprised by halftime pira/t/e comeback, handing another disappointing result. /k/ would be able to hold a surging /b/ side to a 0-0 thriller on an impressive performance from goal keeper Stoppan Powar (earning his record 7th clean sheet), but it left /k/ with only 2 points in the group before their last game. /b/ and /3/'s wins in their third matches statistically eliminated both /d/ and /k/ before the final group match. The final group match was nothing but a slaughter, has a porous /k/ defense allowed in /d/eviant thrusts in every hole. The defeat tied /k/'s worst and earned /d/ their first victory in 463 days and their largest ever. /k/ finished the group in last position and unable to participate in Winter.

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  The first look of /k/ stadium, which debuted during the 2014 Autumn Cup

2015 4chan Spring Babby Cup

Looking to rebound from their Autumn thrashing, /k/ was drawn into Group F for the late breaking Spring Cup into the company of /n/, /vg/, /hm/, and autumn nemesis /d/. Though bringing in a revitalized team, dotted with new faces and returning players, /k/ seemed one of the outliers, expected by most to come short of advancing in the competition. /k/ wasted no time, however, and shot out the gate with a 5' goal against /vg/ in their opening match. The Generals would equalize at 85' however, managing to save a point, but missing out on a game many expected them to win. The /k/ommandos suffered a slight scare against /hm/: first, /k/ took a 2-0 lead and then fell to the meme of the most dangerous lead. Fortunately, the /k/ommandos fought back and got a 4-2 win in the end. The third match was a chance for revenge against /d/, and while the match was much more tense and close than the previous one, /d/ won again. This loss combined with other results put /k/ in a situation where they had to defeat /n/ by 3 in order to advance to the Summer Cup. Though /k/ managed to get a win against /n/, this 2-1 win felt like a loss since it kept /n/ in second place, and /k/ in third.

2015 4chan Autumn Babby Cup

/k/'s squad just before a fateful encounter against /v/

After the heartbreaking end of the previous tournament, /k/ knew they had to be more consistent with their perfomances, and looked to do this in Group D. Said group happened to have /d/ in it, as well as the recently relegated /e/, a team that can be described as "just another weeb team" in /w/, and the once great /v/. To start off the group stage, the /k/omrades got sweet revenge on /d/, beating them 3-1 with an Ivan Chesnokov hat trick. /e/ spoiled the good times for /k/ with a last minute goal in a 2-1 loss for the /k/ommandos, and the next match ended up getting caught in controversy.

For whatever reason, Old Man Sou, the host of the group stage for this cup, was having problems with his computer and the match between /w/ and /k/ had to be stopped with /w/ being up 1-0. It took ages for the match to resume, and once it did, the match was started from the beginning to simulate a replay of the second half. /k/ made their comeback here to win 2-1, leaving /k/ fans happy, and other viewers feeling like /k/ only won because PES stopped working during the match. With one match remaining, /k/ had to win against /v/ to prove that they truly deserved to be in the 2016 Winter Cup, and to be safely promoted. Unfortunately, /v/ was actually playing well for once this season and forced /k/ to be stuck with 7 points - the same amount of points that kept the team in the Babbies last season.

Luckily, 7 points proved to be enough for /k/ this time around. Though /d/ got a strong win over /v/, /w/ helped /k/ qualify to the 2016 Winter Cup by getting /e/ stuck with a 2-2 draw. This combination of results got /k/ second place in the group, and got them in a Winter Cup for the first time since the 2013 Winter Cup. /wg/ eliminated /k/ from this Babby cup in the Round of 16.

2016 4chan Winter Cup

/k/ finally returned to a Winter Cup and put on a strangely shy performance during their first two matches, just like in the 2014 4chan Summer Cup. Some called /soc/'s performance in the previous major cup a fluke due to their group, but this time around, /soc/ looked like a considerably stronger team as they dominated /k/ in a 1-0 win. The /k/ommandos were criticized for their slow pace as they only managed to take 1 shot in the whole match. Afterwards, /k/ kept things slow against /fit/ and it ended up working to their advantage in a 0-0 draw. With a strong win over /asp/, /k/ could have snatched second place in the group, but instead they were destroyed 6-0 in an embarrassment of a performance. Just like that, the /k/ommandos were slammed back into the babbies.

2016 4chan Spring Babby Cup

Zergface's desperation as /k/ was down 2-0 against /e/

The format of the babbies was changed once again. This time, groups were reduced to having 4 teams in each of them, with the 4th place teams being relegated to babby qualifiers (also known as the "Fetus Cup"). With this format, none of the matches were meaningless since there was always something at stake.

Unfortunately for /k/, they were drawn with tough opponents like /soc/ and /e/. These teams gave /k/ trouble in recent history, and the only team that seemed close to being easy in the group was /i/, who would be /k/'s first opponent. Despite taking a lead in the early part of the match, /i/ turned the tables in a 3-2 loss for the /k/ommandos. This already put /k/ in a tough spot, and the 2-1 loss to /soc/ only added pressure onto the team. With no points after two matches, /k/ had to win against /e/ in a situation where they could not only avoid the Fetus Cup, but also qualify to the 2016 Summer Cup with just the right goal difference. Sadly, /e/'s Yoko Littner danced all over /k/'s defense as she scored a double in a 3-1 loss for /k/.

This initially sent /k/ to the Fetus Cup, but the death of certain teams saved the team from playing in that competition.

2016 4chan Autumn Babby Cup

By now, it was a long time since /k/'s last win. The group stage draw looked to be somewhat kind, with /c/ and /trv/ being in /k/'s group along with /w/. Despite being part of the 0 point mustard race in the Summer Cup, /trv/ looked strong against /k/, but could only get a 4-4 draw out of the match. It seemed like /k/ finally learned how to attack in PES 16. /c/ was up next, and given how /w/ was looking strong, this was a match that /k/ had to win. In the first half, /k/ was up 2-0, but the team became yet another victim of the most dangerous lead. A late Assault Clipz goal briefly gave /k/ a 1 goal lead before it was taken away via kickoff abuse with Tomoko's 90+4' goal.

With two points after two matches, the /k/ommandos needed to somehow get a win over /w/, who was already in the 2017 4chan Winter Cup. Sadly, /k/ seemed to be out of ammo in this match, as they fell to a disappointing 1-0 loss that kept them in the babbies once more. It also meant that /k/ did not win a single official match in 2016.

2017 4chan Spring Babby Cup

With the beginning of a new year and a new cup, /k/ was looking to leave an unsuccessful 2016 behind and hope for a kinder 2017. The team was drawn into Group H together with /e/, a recently revieved /lgbt/ and /tv/. The first match was against /e/ and it didn't look too good for /k/ as they lost their last two encounters with /e/ and their third one was no different with a crushing 0-3 defeat for /k/. Next up was the match against /lgbt/. The game itself was interesting and exciting until the last second with both teams trading blows but in the end /k/ was one goal short and got their second lost game this cup. Things began to look grim again for /k/.

With their sights set on /tv/, /k/ was looking to get at least one win out of this cup and end their losing streak. Right at the beginning of the match, Slavshit was mangled by a /tv/ defender. Surprisingly no injury was sustained during this graphical experience. /tv/ scored two goals during the first half of the game while /k/ was trying to catch up in the second half but Zergface only managed to get one goal and thus the game ended in another loss for /k/. With it's performance the team placed last in this cup and was awarded with the wooden spoon, and finally, it was time for /k/ to play in the Fetus Cup.

2017 4chan Autumn Babby Cup

Moist Nugget celebrates what ended up being the winning goal against /vg/.

Nearly two years passed since the last /k/ win. With MilSurpAnon becoming a co-manager for the team, it was time to finally break the winless streak. At this Babby's qualifiers, /k/ was drawn into group A and had to face /x/ first, a team that also got new management. Sadly, /k/ was simply outmatched in this match and lost 2-1. The mighty >/y/ was next, and this was where /k/ got their first win since November 2015, beating the Yaoi team 2-0. To punch their ticket to the Babby Cup, /k/ got a point thanks to Moist Nugget's late goal in a 2-2 draw with /i/.

In the actual cup, it took something of a miracle for /k/ to get past the group stage. Following a 2-0 loss to /co/ and a 2-2 draw to /soc/, the odds were stacked heavily against /k/. However, a major malfunction from /soc/ led to them losing 6-1 against /co/ on the last fixture, giving the /k/ommandos greater chances to get into the round of 16: all they had to do was win against /vg/. After a tense match with everything on the line, /k/ picked up a 2-1 win over /vg/, getting them back to a Winter Cup for the first time since 2016. Following that madness in the group stage, /k/ was then eliminated by /gd/ in the round of 16.

2018 4chan Winter Cup

After the performance during the 2017 Autumn Babby Cup, expectations for the team weren't exactly high. In the group stage, /k/ was to face off against /wg/, /tg/ and /tv/. Regarding this group there weren't predictions of total doom as there were before the Babby Cup, but nobody could have imagined what was about to unfold on the pitch.

In the first match against /wg/ the team managed to completely dominate the playing field and win against their opponent 4-0 simultaneously marking a new biggest win record for the team. This result was to be a wake up call to fans and foes alike. During the match against /tg/, /k/ managed to take the lead early with a goal from Cheeki Breeki at the 8th minute followed by a second goal from Ian McCollum at 32'. Though not as dominant as in their first game, the team managed to hold on to their lead until /tg/'s players Thin Your Paints and Doomrider managed to equalize the scoreline with two short succession goals at 75' for the former and 85' for the latter player. With only a few minutes remaining and the scoreline being equal, /k/ reloaded their guns, affixed bayonets and went on to secure victory over their opponent with a third goal by Zergface at 88' and a fourth one by Hickok45 at 90+3'. After this game /k/ was topping the group with six points after two games and already confirmed for the round of 16 and the 2018 4chan Summer Cup. The last match of the group stage against /tv/ was a cool-off period for the /k/ommandos with Hickok45 taking the lead somewhat early in the game and /tv/ barely able to equalize just before stoppage time with a goal from Brendan Fraser. The result of the group stage was as follows: Top of the group with seven points in total and a GD of plus six.

The start of the round of 16 could not have been better for the /k/ommandos. Fighting against /toy/, /k/ was able to beat their opponent in a thrilling game with a final scoreline of 3-1. "Onwards to the quarter finals!" was heard among the ranks of /k/ players. As it turned out, their opponent for the quarter finals was /h/. Both teams had only met once before this encounter and last time the /k/ommandos were out of luck. Sadly for the team, the result of this match should be the same. /h/ was dominating the entire match. Almost every attempt by /k/'s strikers was defused before they could even get close to the opponents goal while getting hammered on by /h/'s offense with shots upon shots from their strikers. Luckily for the /k/ommandos, /h/'s offense was suffering from poor accuracy throughout this cup and thus they only managed to score on /k/ twice. While there should have been more goals for /h/, judging by their amount of shots, it was still a 0-2 loss for /k/ and the end of this miraculous run. Still, with the ticket to Summer in hand, the team could rest for a while on what they had accomplished.

2018 4chan Summer Cup

Summer had come, which meant that it was the perfect time to go on the offensive.

The group stages started with /k/ having a showdown with the high ranking officers of /vg/. It looked like it would be a 0-0 sleeper, but then the resident bandit Cheeki Breeki scored an amazing 90+2 goal, securing the /k/ommandos an early victory. Next up was the battle between guns and nerfguns in /k/ vs /toy/, this match looked liked another 0-0 sleeper but, after 86 minutes the /k/ defence cracked and Woody scored a goal bringing the score up to 1-0 which ended up with /k/'s defeat. In the final match of the group stage, it was time to watch some violent .webms in /k/ vs /gif/. This match was a characterized as a goalfest with /k/ leading 4-3 at 54 minute mark. The game was more or less set at the end when Moist Nugget and Zergface scored at the 86th and 89th minute marks respectectively. Sauce secured /gif/ a consolation goal at 90+5 with the final score being 6-4 to /k/, sending them to the round of 16.

In the round of 16 /k/ would go up against /b/, the tension was high as the match dragged on with no goals in sight. Everyone's fear of eggsdra dime was soon flushed away as Cosmoline scored at the 89th minute, sending /k/ to the quarter finals 1-0. Next up was the quarter final against /int/, the match started slowly with Moist Nugget taking first blood, but /int/ counterattacked at the 30th minute with the first half ending in 1-1. The 2nd half was when things exploded with Amerimutt starting the /int/ offensive against /k/ scoring a goal followed by another goal from Putin sending /int/ up to 3-1, but /k/'s counterattack was swift and brutal with Zergface and Moist nugget scoring two goals equalizing the score to 3-3 at the 77th minute. But then /k/ did the mistake of messing with the Finns as Spurdo Spärde and Gondola scored to swift goals sending /int/ to 5-3. With chances of victory being slim /k/ made one last hurrah when Moist Nugget scored at 90+4, with the final score being 5-4 to /int/. While defeated, /k/ secured their position for the 4chan Winter Cup 2019.

2019 4chan Winter Cup

The age of the autopilot had come, and someone had forgotten to plot the course for the drone. 2 losses and 1 draw with rather a lackluster performance in the group stage relegated /k/ to the babbies.

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  The /k/ autopilot after being relegated to the babbies

2019 4chan Spring Babby Cup

The autopilot was sent back to the Weaponized AI Development Team to straighten out its faults. The group stage was characterized by Moist Nugget scoring 1 goal in the 2 first matches against /r9k/ and /k/, bringing /k/ up to 2 wins. The match against /lit/ ended up in a 1-1 sleeper that went straight to benuldies. It all looked pretty bogged as the ball seemed like it phased through Stoppan Power, and it ended up with the /lit/ keeper taking Stoppan Power's shot resulting in a /k/ loss. But with these results get secured themselves 7 points, taking them onwards to the round of 16. Next up was /k/ vs /h/ in RO16, due to not comprehending Rance's logic the autopilot couldn't muster any counters and it ended up in a 2-0 defeat against /h/. But with this result /k/ would continue onwards to the 2019 Summer Cup.

2019 4chan Summer Cup

Zergface having an episode of PTSD during the match against /c/.

After 3 months of development, the mass production model of the autopilot was commissioned and the team was ready to take on the elites in the summer heat. The first match against /i/ ended up in a complete disaster as /i/ managed to score 4 goals in the first 22 minutes of the game. The match soon calmed down and Moist Nugget managed to sneak in a goal with the match ending in a 4-1 defeat. Next up was the match against /c/, with it being a 0-0 real sleeper and Zergface having a real case of PTSD on the field. But after 70 minutes Moist Nugget secured /k/'s victory, earning /k/ 3 valuable points. They say keep your friends close and your enemies closer, in /k/'s case this was true as /i/ had been dominating the group winning against both /c/ and /s4s/ giving /k/ as good chance to advance. The match against /s4s/ ended in a 1-1 draw in /k/'s favour earning /k/ 4 points in total, sending them to the round of 16.

In the round of 16 /k/ would go up against /int/, some Serbian turobfolk was exchanged and the match was on. Gondola scored an early 1-0 against /k/, but Zergface countered swiftly equalizing the score to 1-1. But the silent finn doesn't give up that easily and sent /int/ into a 2-1 lead after 23 minutes. After 76 minutes Zergface decided it was time for /k/ to win and scored two goals at the 76 and 84 minute marks. With 3-2 against /int/, /k/ would go onwards to the quarter finals to meet /fit/. The match against /fit/ was an absolute massacre with Hickok45 sending /k/ to an early lead followed up by Moist Nugget scoring another 3 goals ending the match in 4-0. This would send /k/ to the semi finals against /pol/ in the imfamous Mass Shooter Derby.

/k/ postcard, courtesy of Suule.

The Mass Shooter Derby is where /k/'s luck ran out as Moonman, the mass shooter himself went on a goal spree, scoring 3 goals against /k/. Moist Nugget managed to secure /k/ 1 goal, but in the end it wasn't enough and /k/ lost 3-1. But this wasn't the end as /k/ was going up against /w/ in the fight for the 3rd place trophy. /k/ went on the offensive early with Moist Nugget scoring after 5 minutes and Zergface scoring at 35 minutes sending /k/ to a 2-0 lead in the 1st half. /w/'s Powerlevel managed to score a goal on /k/, changing the score to 2-1. The match was reaching its end when Moist Nugget secured /k/ another goal at 81 minutes sending /k/ up to 3-1, but Vectors scored a goal for /w/ shortly after, setting the score at 3-2. Everyone held their breath for the next minutes as stoppage time was ticking down. The time ran out and /k/ won, securing /k/ the coveted 3rd place trophy and place in the winter cup.

2020 4chan Winter Cup

The stage was set for winter. With new uniforms, the Soviet paratroopers of /k/ headed into battle against /out/, the match started well with /k/ taking an early lead, ending up with 2 goal lead by the 69th minute. Pissed off by the Australian bushfires Smokey The Bear channeled all his anger and scored 3 consecutive goals and taking the lead away from /k/. The match ended in a 3-2 loss for /k/. Next up was /k/ vs /diy/ which ended up in a 2-2 draw. At this point /k/'s fate was depending on an /out/ loss against /diy/, but that did not happen as /out/ won that match. /k/ secured a consolation 1-0 victory when they went up /f/ and their memetastic >>>>>2ATB tactic. But in the end /k/ was sent back to the babbies.

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  THE VIOLENCE HAS ESCALATED

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  Give that cooked grenade a good rub

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  Is that a FAMAS' reaction to the 2-2 draw

2020 4chan Spring Babby Cup

With a new general staff /k/ was ready for a new start in the 2020 4chan Spring Babby Cup. In its first match versus /asp/ Moist Nugget secured /k/ an early 1-0 lead over /asp/, although the lead was short lived as KWAB scored not long after. The match was a tight fight, but not long before the end of the match, Moist Nugget managed shoot the ball into the net, securing /k/ a 2-1 win over /asp/. Unfortunately this is where /k/'s luck ran out. /k/ went up against /diy/ next and got utterly dominated by the autopilot. /k/ lost 4-1, which meant /k/ had to win the next match to be able to advance. The final match in the group stage was against /bant/, /k/ secured an early 1-0 lead. As the match bogged down to the 2nd half Leaf Girl scored a goal making it 1-1. Unable to break through the /bant/ defense the match ended 1-1 effectively killing /k/ and sending /k/ to the autumn babbies. The general staff were not pleased with the results and went back to the drawing board.

2020 4chan Autumn Babby Cup

Autumn was on the horizon and the /k/ommandos were ready for the autumn push. Little did they know that this would be one of the greatest disasters in /k/'s recent history. It all started in the match against /asp/, unable to keep any control of the ball /asp/ compeletely dominated /k/ in a 3-0 defeat, making the first weekend of the autumn babby cup a very tough start of the battered /k/ommandos. In the match against /3/ Arkan and the Tigers managed to remove kebab and secure /k/ an early 1-0 lead. This unfortunately provoked a swift response from the /3/ management which ended in a 3-1 loss for /k/. Knocked out of the race for RO16, /k/'s final objective was to avoid the Wooden Spoon and went to face up against /wsg/. The match started as a complete disaster for /k/ as /wsg/ gassed /k/ to death with a 3-0 lead. But then the dead men of /k/ made one final brave charge against /wsg/ as Simo Häyhä scored two goals in the 2nd half, making the score 3-2. But in the end it wasn't enough as /wsg/ managed to secure another goal with the final score being 4-2. And thus the chlorine gassed men of /k/ were awarded the Wooden Spoon for a third time. Dark times sure was looming for /k/...

2021 4chan World Cup

10 years of violence, the /k/ommandos has by this point been a team for 10 years and they are still alive and kicking the ball. It would take some time until the /k/ommandos would take to the pitch again though as 2021 4chan Spring Babby Cup was cancelled in favour for the 2021 4chan World Cup, where every team ded or alive was invited for a massive 64 team shitfest. This would be the first cup on the highly debated PES21. /k/ got picked pick to play against /vm/, /f/ and /c/. First up was the oppressed gamers of /vm/, the anthems were played and then kickoff. The first half ended up being a highly intense fight between both sides as Arkan and The Tigers drew first blood making it 1-0 to /k/. Phoon of /vm/ immediatley countered making it 1-1, but this was followed up by Zergface scoring a goal making it 2-1. there was brief lull all the way up to the 42nd minute when Phoon scored again making the scoreline 2-2. The 2nd half was an absolute slurp fest with nothing happening. Simo Häyhä had a golden opportuniy to score, but ended up botching a shot. The match ended 2-2, giving /k/ a valuable point. In the next match against /f/, /k/ would have to endure the hyper aggressive 4-2-4 formation and it was decided to go on the hyper defensive to counter this tactic. It actually worked with no goals being conceded in the first half by either side, but it was a relentless siege from /f/ with no hope of an attack being done by /k/. In the 2nd half things changed drastically as Simo Häyhä managed get a breakaway and scored at the 59th minute. However this lead was short lived as a couple of the /k/ defenders managed to do two massive fuckups and concede two goals to /f/ making it another loss for /k/ 1-2. The next match against /c/ was the decisive moment, would /k/ survive or would /k/ die. A victory could mean /k/ advancing with a draw favouring /c/. The match started out with Simo Häyhä securing /k/ the first goal at the 34th minute, but this was as per tradition followed up by an immediate counter from /c/'s Yui making the scoreline even again. The 2nd half was unfortunately where /k/'s fate was sealed as Yui and Tomoko managed to score two more goals ending the match 1-3 to /c/. Once again the /k/ommandos were defeated. There hasn't been a victory since the 2020 4chan Spring Babby Cup and morale is at an all time low.

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  Arkan celebrating /k/'s first goal of the tournament

2021 4chan Autumn Babby Cup

With the results 2021 4chan World Cup set in stone, the /k/ommandos were sent back for a massive strategic restructuring as it had been proven time and time again the past years that the team simply was not doing well on a tactical level. After a few field exercises and autism the team unveiled their newfound strength at the 2021 4chan Autumn Babby Cup. With this cup being a megababby cup, the bar for clearing the group stage was even higher than usual. /k/'s group draws would consist of /adv/, /xs/, /wsg/ and /mlp/, a few teams with some history against /k/ and a new team. The first match was against /adv/, this match was a complete slurpfest in the first half with not single goal scored from either side, /k/ held the line magnificently but there just weren't any goals. But in the 2nd half the /k/ offensive finally begun as Big Dicc Marty crossed the ball to Simo Häyhä making /k/ draw first blood 1-0. There were a few attempts for goals from /adv/'s side as Femanon desperately tried to score a goal, but she whiffed the ball outside the net to much of the crowd's amusement. At the 70th minute Simo Häyhä managed to score another goal setting the score 2-0. Another attempt from Suicide and Femanon was thwarted later on and the match was finally over. /k/ finally managed after 2 years of suffering to secure a victory.. Next up were the airshit larpers of /xs/, it was a bit ironic that their first match was against the board that absolutely despises airshit. Pleasantries were exchanged and the anthems were played. It didn't take long after kickoff for the violence to escalate as Zergface secured /k/ an early goal making it 1-0. The rest of the first half was a bit back and forth with /xs/ having some great opportunities but no goals. After halftime things changed up as Simo Häyhä knocked the ball into the net making it 2-0. It didn't take long for the violence to escalate again as Zergface scored another goal setting final score to 3-0.

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  Simo Häyhä celebrating /k/'s first goal of the 2021 4chan Autumn Babby Cup

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  SKS - > Innawoods, Zergface and Paul Harrel posing for the camera before the match against /xs/

With the first weekend out of box /k/ was sitting at a very comfortable 6-point lead at the very top of the group, but 6-points is still vurnerable to relegation. The /k/ommandos had two weeks to prepare for the next part of the autumn offensive against /wsg/ and /mlp/. Next up was the match against /wsg/, the /k/ommandos will never forget the dark day of November the 1st 2020, when /wsg/ sent /k/ to the bottom of the entire babby cup, awarding the /k/ommandos the wooden spoon. Despite this dark memory in the back of their heads the /k/ommandos stood tall as they entered the pitch with /wsg/. With the momentum of the previous match still present the violence continued to escalate as Zergface scored at the 14th minute. This was followed up Simo Hähyä sneaking in another at the 24th minute. With 1st half over /k/ had laid the bed and in the 2nd half it was time straighten those crisp white bed sheets. 52 minutes in Zergface couldn't contain his desire for violence and scored another goal making it 3-0. After a while it was Cheeki Breeki's turn as he made a beautiful shot into the net increasing the lead to 4-0. As the end of the match was starting to close in, Zergface's desire for violence was still there and he scored hattrick from what seemed like an impossible angle. The match ended and /k/ finally qualified to the elites for the first time since the 2019 4chan Summer Cup. This match would go on to be /k/'s biggest scoring win ever and /wsg/ biggest defeat ever. The final match of the group was against hideous horsefuckers of /mlp/, the showing of treachrous anons pretending to be /k/ommandos caused fury among the team. As they took the pitch they decided that enough was enough as the horse removers Arkan and the Tigers decided start off the removing process with a goal at the 7th minute. 11 minutes later Big Dicc Marty joined in on the horse down putting process increasing the score to 2-0. Sensing violence Zergface had to do what he must do when violence is close and took one hell of a shot into the net making it 3-0. After half time >rape decided to RUIN IT AND WALK ALL OVER THE CRISP CLEAN WHITE BEDSHEETS OF /k/ as the /k/ommandos conceded their FIRST goal of the tournament. With righteous anger in their hearts the /k/ommandos decided to start the final stage of the autumn offensive with Simo Häyhä sneaking in another goal setting score to 4-1. But Zergface didn't have his violence quota filled out just yet and sent the horsefuckers to the spanish gluefactory 5-1. This would go on to be the biggest defeat of the horsefuckers ever. With the end of the group stage set in stone, /k/ had managed to join the 12-point mustard race and set a record breaking GD of 14 goals, a record that was broken only 40minutes earlier by /vr/ with 13GD. This would go on the be /k/'s most succesful group stage in history.

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  Cheeki Breeki celebrating /k/'s 4th goal against /wsg/

Next up was the round of 16 and the next opponent was /y/, a team for the longest time that has not been in a good shape but in the latter half the group stage finally managed to find its form. The match started off in a dreadful fashion as /y/'s player Traps waltzed his way through the defense giving /y/ a 1-0 lead. It would take until the 33rd minute for the counterattack to come as Arkan the Tigers managed to equalize the scoreline. But /y/ was not out of breath yet as Gerudo Link snuck one in at the 41st minute. Simo Häyhä would not have any of it and managed to get one in the net at 45+0 equalizing the score 2-2. The next half was a lot of back and forth with /y/ getting some dangerous attempts to no avail. /k/ had the advantage in player condition as the clock was ticking towards 90 minutes. But at 90+4 Gerudo Link scored an insane goal effectively killing /k/. While defeated in the round of 16, the /k/ommandos were still standing tall as they had achieved their main objective: Becoming the panzer elite. The /k/ommandos went back innawoods for some well earned rest as they would soon be heading into the 2022 4chan Winter Cup.

2022 4chan Winter Cup

It has been 2 years since /k/ was in an elite cup and the 2022 Winter Cup started with a bang. The first match against /co/ started with some absolute silliness as the ATF stumbled and lost the ball to Carl Brutanandelewski in front of the goal, but then hilarity ensued as Carl slidekicked the ball into the net he also tackled the ATF at the same time cancelling the goal and giving /k/ a goal kick. The match would turn into an insane back and forth between /k/ and /co/ as both sides kept one upping eachother. Arkan scored the first goal for /k/, Simo Häyha got one good shot in and managed at the 71st minute to score a header from a corner. At that point the score was 3-3 as /co/'s offense was just as strong as /k/'s. In the last dying minutes of the match Arkan had the perfect opportunity to score on /co/ but /co/lette saved /co/'s ass and the match ended 3-3. The next match was against /vp/, it started about the same as the match against /co/, but this time /k/ had the initative and had Reaper Drone score its first goal ever. Simo would follow up and score at 45+1. Things were looking decent, but then the 2nd half happened as /k/ went completely toothless and couldn't score any goals. /vp/ got one in at 57', but /k/ held the line and the match ended 2-2. At this point the group was so even that every team controlled their own destiny to a certain extent. Since /vp/ lost against /co/, /k/ had to win against /cm/ to advance. This unfortunately where /k/'s luck ran out and the defense completely crumbled against /cm/ who scored 3 goals against a helpless /k/ defense, Simo tried his best to damage control but in the end the match ended in a 3-2 loss for /k/. Defeated, the /k/ommandos retreated back to the 2022 4chan Spring Babby Cup.

2022 4chan Spring Babby Cup: Another Megababby, Trench warfare and Stormtrooper Tactics

After the unsuccessful winter offensive the /k/ommandos decided to dig in as the tide of war had turned into favour of defense. The /k/ommandos would soon find themselves under attack from the familliar adversary /f/ who also engaged in trench warfare. /f/ got the first shot in and the scoreline was 0-1 to /f/. Unable to mount any good attacks /k/ was scoreless going into the 2nd half. Midway through the 2nd half the NCOs were called in for a strategy meeting, infiltration tactics were recommended and the plan was put into motion. Things were not looking good as the /f/ defense turned out to be quite strong, but the new player The Z-Team finally found a crack in the lines and snuck in a goal at the 86th minute making the scoreline 1-1. The /f/ counter attack was on, but the /k/ommandos held the line and a cruical interception by the new player >>>VDV halted the match and the match ended in a draw. Next up was the Battle of the Nerf Salient as /k/ went up against /toy/. Once again the battle devolved into trench warfare as the /toy/ offense was unable to deal with the /k/ defense. Both teams ended up being scoreless at the end of the 1st half. Once again the NCOs were called in and once again infiltration tactics were recommended. The 2nd half started and Zergface had the perfect opportunity to score but he kapowed the goal, but Simo Häyhä had accounted for this and positioned himself perfectly for a rebound and secured /k/ a 1-0 lead. With one goal in the box the /k/ommandos dug in and held the line all the way to the end securing /k/ a meager but important 1-0 victory.

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  The /k/ommando raiding party of the 2022 Spring Offensive

In the 3rd part of the Spring offensive /k/ would finally after 10 years of never meeting eachother go up against /a/. Having performed poorly against /ck/ and /f/, /a/ was not gonna walk away without a fight. Going straight to infilatration tactics, /k/ drew first blood with Zergface sniping /a/'s goal making it 1-0, /a/ soon rallied though and evened out the scoreline 1-1 before the end of the 1st half. The battle kept raging in the 2nd half. Zergface managed to get the perfect throughball served on a silver platter and scored another goal making the score 2-1 to /k/. The /k/ommandos proceeded to dig in and endure the relentless /a/ assault as they kept trying and trying all the way to the end. But after all of the assaults from /a/, the /k/ommandos stood victorious, topping the group at 7 points for the time being. With the final day of the group stage on the horizon /k/ was in a very comfortable position, but there was potential dark timeline. The intelligence department reported that if /k/ lost their next battle and /a/ lost theirs as well, /k/ would be eliminated. With this in mind the /k/ommandos took to the pitch. In what could be described as the most intense 0-0 canidate /k/ would hold the line against /ck/ for 90 minutes, but at the worst possible moment the defense cracked and /ck/ scored at 90+2 making /k/ lose the match 1-0. A state of emergency was declared as /k/'s fate was dependent on /a/ not losing. /a/ who had nothing to lose however decided that TOTSUGEKI was the only answer to avoid a SHAMFUR 4 loss megababby and absolutely destroyed /toy/ 4-1, saving /k/ as /k/ommandos threw their helmets and berets in the air in pure joy. /a/'s brave sacrifice would never be forgotten and that day every /k/ommando became an /a/ fan was well.

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  Cowboy Bebop saving /k/.
  See you space cowboy...

The round of 16 was once again upon /k/, the opponent was chosen to be /vt/ a fairly young team. Since the trench warfare tactics were no longer needed, /k/ switched over to offense and completely dominated the 1st half, but the /vt/ defense was extremely strong. In the 2nd half however Zergface managed to sneak one in and finally made /k/ take the lead. /vt/ soon counterattacked and it quickly turned into 1-1, at the very end the Z-Team managed to head the ball into the goal, but it turns out the refs were /vt/ fans and decided to call the Z-Team offiside. The match went into extra time, but both sides were unable to score anymore and it went to penalties. Unfortunately the /k/ommandos were completely out of steam and completely botched the shootout losing to /vt/. But in the end the most important part was that the team was back in the elites again. The path was paved all the way to 2022 4chan Summer Cup

2022 4chan Summer Cup: A Quarter Final Too Far

Climbing out of the babby trenches the /k/ommandos would start off the Summer Offensive with blitzkrieg against the /int/ernational community in a solid 3-0 victory over /int/. The match was held in the Commieseum and there is speculation that this may have powered up The Z-Team and Arkan. The next match was against the /d/ragon /d/ildo /d/ungeoneers of /d/, the /d/efense was strong and they took an early lead against the /k/ommandos. However, Simo Häyhä would have none of it and sniped /d/, setting the score at 1-1. With no attacks going anywhere the /k/ommandos dug in to secure a draw as a draw would put /k/ in a very safe position. With the last day of the group dawning upon the /k/ommandos they would simply need to win or draw against /tg/ to advance, a loss could work too as long it wasn't a 6 goal swing if /d/ lost their match. /k/ stormed the ork formation and the violence did escalate with Simo taking an early goal, but /tg/ was not going down without a fight and answered fairly quickly. Arkan heard the rigger talking shit at 44' and removed ork putting the score at 2-1. /tg/ quickly answered and kapowed the ball into the back of the /k/ube. Saddened by this the /k/ube was subbed off in favour of the 2nd Amendment. In the 2nd half Zergface closed the game with another goal and /k/ won 3-2. /k/ would top the group with 7 points and goal difference of 4 goals. /k/ would then move on to the round of 16.

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  Arkan, Simo and Zergface celebrating Simo's goal against /d/

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  Zergface being very displeased with the referee's foul call

In the round of 16 /k/ would drawn into battle with /gd/. In showcase of total control /k/ dominated the graphic designers with Simo Häyhä and Zergface scoring one goal each securing /k/ a 2-0 win over /gd/. /k/ would advance to the quarter finals were /vp/oreons were awaiting to /k/ommandos. This however this is where the /k/ommandos run ended as the /vp/oreons took complete control of the battle and utterly destroyed /k/ 0-5. Every trick in the book was used but in the end it proved futile, the /k/ommandos GOT PLAYED LIKE A DAMN FIDDLE. While /k/'s pride was thorougly damaged, the team stood tall as they had finally secured their well earned 6 month vacation and a ticket to the 2023 4chan Winter Cup

2023 4chan Winter Cup: General Winter Strikes Back

Fresh out of a 6 months vacation the /k/ommandos would find themselves sanctioned for war crimes committed during the summer offensive of 2022. The use of the trench assault formations was thereby banned and a new strategy had to be developed. For this cup the opponents would be /sci/, /gd/ and /mu/. The first fight against /sci/ took a spicy turn as the /sci/ence team took an an early 0-2 lead, Zergface managed to control the damage 1-2, but in the end /k/ was unable to equalize and it ended in a 1-2 loss. The section was sent back for some radical reorganisation and brought out an unusual battle formation that would surely ruse the next opponent /gd/. While initially it seemed like the /k/ommandos had control over the situation /gd/ broke through the lines and grabbed a 2-0 lead in the first half. Demoralised in the 2nd half the men would rally as Simo Häyhä and Zergface would even out the score 2-2. HOWEVER the referees who are TOTALLY UNBIASED(FOR REAL™) decided it would really funny if /gd/ got a free kick on the side of the box because Big Dicc Marty slightly breathed at a /gd/ player. This free kick (which was identical to the /ck/ free kick in spring '22) of course resulted in a 2-3 loss for /k/. Almost routed out of the offensive the /k/ommandos would see one light in the end of the tunnel as /sci/ 9-pointed the group when they beat /gd/ 3-2. This scenario meant that /k/ could advance out of the group if they beat their old rival /mu/ 3-2 or by two goals. However at this stage the /k/ommandos were simply exhausted and missed most of their shots with the exception of Zergface and Paul Harrell. The match ended in another 2-3 loss for the /k/ommandos. While the result was dissappointing with 3 losses, /k/ had played 3 close matches in a row and easily avoided another shameful wooden spoon. Defeated but not demoralised the /k/ommandos would head back to the 2023 4chan Spring Babby Cup.

2023 4chan Spring Babby Cup: The Sizzling Counteroffensive Cauldron

As winter turned to spring the battlefields changed back to the familliar fields of PES19 were the /k/ommandos suffered heavy losses in the past. Having learned from the past mistakes, field exercises were held to ensure the men would be in tiptop shape before the spring counteroffensive. When it was time for the groups to be picked things could not get any more meme as the opponents were chosen to be /toy/,/pol/ and /an/. The first battle would be against the /toy/ soldiers, with Simo quickly securing /k/ a goal with Woody responding just as quickly. Paul Harrell would later respond with two quick goals earning him some fame and notoriety as he right afterwards got awarded a yellow card. Simo secured /k/'s victory later setting the score 4-1. With ongoing global events being a very HOT topic on both /k/ and /pol/ it was like the stars aligned when /k/ absolutely destroyed the hapless /pol/acks with Zergface, Simo and Orb scoring one goal each and winning the match 3-1. Unsurprisingly this caused riots as ultras from both sides clashed and caused a mess. Since /an/ won their match over /toy/ the group was effectively locked in a 6-6-0-0 group. With the /an/ match being nothing more than a mere formality both teams agreed on benching two for their NCOs. The match ended in a 2-3 loss for the /k/ommandos, but both teams were laughing all the way to the bank as they had to watch /toy/ and /pol/(and /vmg/ by proxy) have a spoon playoff with /pol/ relying on Steiner to counterattack. It failed and /pol/ spooned. The /k/ommandos reclaimed their rightful status as The Panzer Elite and would advance to the 2023 4chan Summer Cup.

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  The NCOs celebrating Zergface's successful ERA powered header goal.

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  Deagle Brand Deagle being livid over /k/'s decisive victory over /pol/

In the round of 16 the /k/ommandos would meet a familliar opponent /c/. The battle started with Simo, being powered up by anime taking /k/ to an early 2-0 lead. However the case of the most dangerous lead was once again true as /c/ swiftly counter attacked and turned the tables to be a 2-3 lead for /c/. Some swift changes were made to deal with this situation and Simo scored a hattrick. Yui counterattacked however and the score was 4-3 to /c/ again, but Simo refused to give up and evened out the score sending the match to extra time. At the start of the first half of extra time the Pisky Orb finally finally found an opening and brought /k/ up to a 5-4 lead. F-35 and Paul Harrell however would both get yellow carded for committing war crimes, despite Paul getting his 2nd yellow card this tournament he was EXONERATED between the group stage and knockout stage, this however was a hint of things to come. With both teams players getting exhausted not much happened after this and /k/ won a very close 5-4 victory. In the quarter finals /k/ would once again face the semen slurpers of /d/. With the trademark /d/efence being strong as usual /k/ was unable to get a breakthrough. With time running out and /d/ leading 1-0, Big Marty Dicc saw the Giantess and just couldn't resist the urge to whip out his big throbbing iron and assaulted her from behind. This is how Marty finally got awarded the Texas Red Card. Being very pleasured by getting assaulted by Marty's big throbbing iron, Giantess would go on to score a 90+1 header against /k/. The match ended in a 0-3 loss for the /k/ommandos. This would go on the /k/'s most successful babby run in history and the /k/ommandos went back to base for some well earned R&R before the big offensive in the 2023 4chan Summer Cup

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  Big Dicc Marty getting awarded the Texas Red card

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  Pisky Orb being happy that he brought /k/ to a 5-4 lead over /c/

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