/5N@F/ Roster

The Pizzeria Staff of /5N@F/

Sub

Starter

Silver

Gold

Goalkeepers

No.	Name	Position	Picture	Description
	The Knot	GK		"I can do this all night ya know. All 7. Eventually they all get out-foxed. They all get the knot." "Oh they do knot. I do knot believe you. You're full of Shih-Tzu dumb slow faux. Your threats are not furry good. You're foxing them up-" "HOLY SHIT STOP"
	Springles	GK		Nobody in /5N@F/ gave that much of a shit about Purple Guy, but turn him into a ghost zombie crammed inside a decrepit fursuit that killed him and suddenly everybody wants to fuck him.

Defenders

No.	Name	Position	Picture	Description
	Left Door	LB		A relic of the past. Keeps rabbits and foxes at bay.
	Rev Up That Music Box	CB		Hey, for FNAF2, how about instead of doors and a power drain mechanic, we insert a system where you have to constantly switch to one camera and wind some gangly asshole puppet's music box so he doesn't come instantly murder you? BRILLIANT!
	Carlos the Cupcake	CB		This little asshole pops up in every game, usually in the company of his best friend Chica. What's his angle? Why does he stare at you? Why the fuck does he have giant sharp teeth in the FNAF4 teaser? One of life's greatest mysteries.
	Right Door	RB		A relic of the past. Keeps chickens and bears at bay.
	LUCKY ROLL: 1	LB		The most important lesson we have learned from GhostQuest, I think, is that if you ever find yourself confronted by a horrible Lovecraftian merger of guts and machinery, the best thing you can do to combat it is to try and hug it. Just hope that Philip's luck holds out this session, which somehow has managed to happen barely so far despite all the unlucky rolls.
	Southern Drawl	LB		One of our greatest voicefags Ace, who gave us such fantastical adventures as Mike and Bonnie Use A Cat To Travel Between Dimensions And Switch Bodies as well as [BAD_ENDING].mp3, a clip of Purple Guy's gruesome death that is getting passed around all over the internet without any proper credit, as the internet tends to do.
	Booplesnoot	CB		Nice nose, 10/10, would boople the snoot to make a honk noise.
	Beamz The Bat	CB		The most >popular OC created by /5N@F/. He plays vidya in the arcade and it drains your power, and he'll also swoop down on you from the ceiling. Or, at least, that was the idea, before he was transformed into a half-sleepy, half-radical big-hipped twink in a loose sweater created to be your personal joystick-holder.
	BUT THAT'S JUST A THEORY	CB		CLEARLY PHONE GUY IS THE PURPLE MAN! AND TOY CHICA'S BEAK IS INSIDE OF MANGLE! AND FNAF3 IS A PREQUEL TO FNAF1! AND SOMETHING SOMETHING TIME TRAVEL OR MULTIPLE TIMELINES OR SOMETHING! AND HOLY SHIT FUCK OFF MATPAT.
	Souldozer	RB		YOU EXPECTED A PUNY ANIMAL-SHAPED ROBOT, BUT IT WAS ME, SOULDOZER! ARE YOU FUKKEN PILGRIMS READY FOR A DOZING? YOU BETTER PRAY FOR PEACE!!
	Dongman	RB		He's back, and he's dongier than ever.

Midfielders

No.	Name	Position	Picture	Description
	Mike Schmidt	AMF		The original minimum-wage security guard, putting up with the robots' bullshit since 1993 or so. There are so many interpretations of Mike that he can be anything you can think of. Black, white, young, old, man, woman, thumb, fat, thin, nerdy, muscled, wants to fuck robots, wants to destroy robots... Mike is whatever your heart desires, so long as he's wearing a cap with SECURITY written on it.
	Pizza Chicken	AMF		Never has there been a bird robot so obsessed with sauce and cheese on dough before. She'll never know what it tastes like, but goddamn if she doesn't enjoy it anyway.
	Rabbit Noises	DMF		Nothing endears you more to a rabbit-shaped killer robot than the chittering noises it makes when it enjoys a good Snickers bar.
	Fredders	CMF		Oh, Fredders, what magical adventures will await you today? Playing in the sink? Chasing Runner? Cooking with Tiktak? Trying to touch Bonbon? Showing off Bobo? You rapscallion, you.
	Purple Guy	CMF		The cause of everyone's misery. Currently trapped inside of a moldy rabbit costume. Whether you he's a child murderer, a pedophile, a rapist, misunderstood, suave, withdrawn, antisocial, sexy, sympathetic, spooky, or all of the above, I think we can all agree on one thing: that whole deal with Rebornica was pretty fucked up.
	DELETE THIS	CMF		This little asshole doesn't even kill you directly, he just comes in, steals your flashlight batteries, and endlessly laughing at you until Foxy shoves his teeth into your face.
	Mango	CMF		Poor Mangle. Torn apart by the very children she just wanted to entertain. Somehow. At least she's a cutie waifu with a cutie Foxy puppet.
	Jeremy Fitzgerald	CMF		The protagonist of FNAF2 and predecessor to Mike Schmidt. Uses a spare Freddy head to trick stupid robots into thinking he's one of them so they won't kill him. Now why couldn't Mike have done that again?
	Uh, Hello Hello?	CMF		Rest in peace, Phone Guy. You gave us the encouragement and advice necessary to not only survive the first five nights at Freddy's, but also told us how to safely wear those old springlock suits. Hopefully you're in a better place where you can truly immerse yourself in the Joy of Creation.

Forwards

No.	Name	Position	Picture	Description
	All Business	CF		The bear, the robot, the legend. His name's on the sign above the entrance, his name's in all the games, and he's the star, even when he's not. One top hat, one bow tie, and one microphone is all it takes for Freddy Fazbear to take the stage and steal the show. Better pay him his due respect, because otherwise you're getting the Toreador.

Troublesome (Read: Retired) Employees (Read: Players)

No.	Name	Position	Picture	Description
	EEEEEEEEEEEEE	GK		Foxy hasn't moved, that's good. Freddy's on stage, noises from the kitchen so Chica's alright... where's Bonnie. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck where is she? Why can't I close the door? Better check the closet, FUCK nothing, wonder if the door'll work no- EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
	Michelle's Hips	GK		Have you ever wondered what the guardsman of Freddy's Pizzeria would look like if he were a woman? I mean, clearly she'd need that rump for uh... y'know... sitting for six hours. Yeah. Hipsanon's fab feminine creation covers goals with hips wide enough to make you really wonder if she has to order her own custom pants.
	One Hundred and Twenty Dollars	CB		Y'know, it may not seem like much, but minimum wage actually WAS at $4 an hour back in the early nineties. It's also the general cost of any commission from one of the thread's numerous drawfags, greedy assholes. (Just kidding we love you guys)
	I'm A Good Fox	CMF		A BLOO-BLOO-BLOO UMMAHGUD FOX A-BLOO-BLOO-BLOO. THEY LOCK US UP! NEVER TO HAVE FUN! I DIDN'T WANT TO BITE HIM UMMAHGUDFOOOOOOOOOOX...
	IT'S ME	CB		Sir, it is lamentable that mass agricultural development is not speeded by fuller use of your marvelous mechanisms. Would it not be easily possible to employ some of them in quick laboratory experiments to indicate the influence of various types of fertilizers on plant growth? You are right. Countless uses of Bose instruments will be made by future generations. The scientist seldom knows contemporaneous reward; all will know that I possess The Joy Of Creation
	Death Fan	CB		What? Did you think that the animatronics were the real enemy of Five Nights? Of course not! Your true foe is the Lord of Oscillation, THE FAN.
	DOOR STUCK	CB		The Phantom! Exterior like fish eggs, Interior like suicide wrist-rags. I could exercise you, this could be yo' Phys-Ed, cheat on your man homie- AAAH! I tried to sneak through the door man! Can't make it, can't make it the shit's stuck. Outta ma' way son! DOOR STUCK! DOOR. STUCK. PLEASE!
	Shut The Fuck Up Bonnie	RB		Bitch doesn't know when men need their time for Pirate Adventures. Or when Bears need to be bosses. Just shut the fuck up Bonnie. No you can't have ice cream go back to your stage.
	LET'S EAT!!	CMF		LET'S KILL! LET'S SLEEP! LET'S DANCE! LET'S PANTIES! LET'S EXERCISE! LET'S BOOBS! LET'S MURDER!
	MSF3K	CMF		Freddy Fazbear's favorite show, where the gang gets together and takes a look at some really great (shit) movies together. Ah, what fun with silhouettes can we have tonight?
	Snack of '87	CMF		Wasn't his fault if you ask me. Kid was asking for it. When you literally put two meat-lovers slices on your head and pretend to be a lion tamer with the only solely-carnivorous animatronic you're just selling yourself for a forceful lobotomy.