/mlp/ roster

Disregard most of this page, it will be completely updated/revamped when the 2014 Winter Cup squad is known. Test Pony (talk) 15:09, 22 November 2013 (UTC)

Prenotes

• The /mlp/ roster is and will always be free of name- and tripfaggotry.
• The roster below is outdated, for up-to-date player positions and cards, please check the /mlp/ main page.
  
  

Current player face

1st row - Derpy Hooves, Thanks M.A. Larson!, Panda Ring, Iwanttocumindashie, Jackie Chan Tulpa, Best Pony
2nd row - Crotchtits, Cease & Desist, >no hooves, Liquid Pride, Autism in Equestria, Lyra Plushie
3rd row - Lauren Faust, Tracy, Alicorn Twilight, Cheeselegs, Tara Strong, Fuck Your Marker
4th row (no custom faces) - >rape, The Burdened, Horsefucker, I Don't Get The Appeal, >muh job

Roster

Goalkeepers

Number	Name	Image	Description	Height/Weight
12	Derpy Hooves		SAFEST HOOVES. Derpy Hooves is the prized goalie of /mlp/ who can block all kicks no matter how impossible it seems (see: DA HOOD Penalty Kick from /f/ friendly) NOW YOU FUCKED UP. Unfortunately, /mlp/'s lackluster defense puts Derpy in a bad position for some oncoming attacks. This star player will not be stepping down anytime soon.	190/77
5	Cease And Desist		Hey you know that totally cool fan project you were waiting on? The one that's been in the works for a year and is nearly ready for release? Seems Hasbro liked it too! So much so that they shut it down.	203/80
55	The Burdened	Theburdened.png	There's no time to explain. In fact even if there was, I'm not sure you'd understand.	194/86

Centre Backs

Number	Name	Image	Description	Boots	Skillcards	Height/Weight
8	Jackie Chan Tulpa		"Guys I made a Twilight Sparkle tulpa but it won't let me talk to girls and it made the rest of the mane six as tulpas and they rape me and want me to make more pony tulpas wat do?" Besides kill yourself? Make a goddamned Jackie Chan Tulpa and have him beat up the pony tulpas. Jackie's always got your back. OOOOOOONNNE MORE THING: TULPAS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY. GOODNIGHT.	adizero f50		197/82
41	Autism in Equestria		He's not quite sure how he ended up in Equestria, or why every pony he meets wants to sexually abuse him, but what he does know, is how to play football.	adizero f50		193/112
37	Crotchtits	SPOILER.jpg	Do you like technicolor ponies? What of anatomically correct animation? Well, if you need to slap your dick to something, check out the coolest new fad to hit a computer monitor near you. It's crotchtits! How could you not enjoy those supple milk balloons? Be sure to look the distinctive sway out on the field, distracting all the kissless virgins.	Supersonic Wave 3		185/82
28	Liquid Pride		TWILY	adizero f50		203/90
30	>no hooves		I mean, how can you get off to that? She doesn't even have any hooves. Sick fucks.	adizero f50		197/77
69	Thanks M.A. Larson!		We trusted you Larson. We wanted to believe that you could pull off Twilicorn, that everything would be ok. Sadly putting that exact line into the script several times wasn't subtle or convincing enough.	adizero f50		19/79
17	Horsefucker		The neckbeard that surfs /mlp/, also known for fucking ponies, is finally getting off his wheelie chair to play some good old fashioned football.	adizero f50		205/89

Defensive Midfielders

Number	Name	Image	Description	Boots	Skillcards	Height/Weight
52	Panda Ring	PandaRing.png	You know why Season 3 was shit? Fucking pandering.	adizero f50	P02	198/83
4	IWantToCumInDashie		I want to cum inside Rainbow Dash. Don't you, anon?	adizero f50	P02	185/75
41	>muh job		Suppose you work in an office, and you really like Barney. All your coworkers know this and they think it's quirky and tolerable. You are a member of an internet fandom revolving around Barney and his dinosaur friends. Some people draw fanart of Barney and his friends. Some of this fanart is questionable or even downright pornographic. If you would not be risking your job or reputation by letting a particular image of Barney in this hypothetical office setting be seen on your computer by your hypothetical coworkers, then the image is not safe for work.	adizero f50		194/80
99	IDontGetTheAppeal		"I don't understand why you people like the show, it's a good show which mostly means -simple stories -simple morals -simple characters -simple settings Why do you watch it?"	adizero f50		194/81
52	Cheeselegs		You've seen Nightmare Moon, you've seen Discord, but out of nowhere, here comes the dreaded Cheeselegs! This newcomer steps up and becomes the only rookie in the starting XI after taking the position of former player Boop. When Cheeselegs scores, she begins her song warning the viewing audience and the opposing team of her oncoming slaughter.	Supersonic Wave 3	P02	185/70
8	Fuck Your Marker		A player who brings a lot of mystery to the field. One game he would be nowhere, the next he'd be scoring 3 goals. FYM is a man of mystery, but he's always there. Oh, and fuck your marker.	adizero f50	P02	188/106

Centre Midfielders

Number	Name	Image	Description	Boots	Skillcards	Height/Weight
7	Best Pony Captain		It's Twilight. Ugh, no it's Fluttershy. Haha, what the fuck? Clearly Rainbow Dash is best pony. Classless fools, Rarity is superior pone. >2012 >not knowing Pinkie Pie is best poni. Don't you all know? It's Applejack! Well, when ever somebody declares "Best Pony", the anons of /mlp/ will pop up and disagree with them.	adipure 11 pro	P08 P11 P14 S05	165/71
2	Faust		The creator, the beginning, the woman behind the creation of My Little Pony's reboot. Faust is leading the /mlp/ football team with hopes for a championship so that something good may come out of the fanbase. And she is creeped out by us	adizero f50	P11	180/86
39	Tara Strong		The "queen of the bronies", Tara Strong is known for seductive tweets and how much of a supporter she is of the pony fanbase. Also known for her role as Raven in Teen Titans, or was she the yellow kid on Xiaolin Showdown? No wait, she's Bubbles from Powerpuff Girls... or was it that National Lampoon movie? Oh wait! She plays Twilight Sparkle in Friendship is Magic. She did all that other stuff too. She's also notorious for being a massive attention whore.	Supersonic Wave 3	P11	182/77
9	Lyra Plushie		Oh that's a good quality Lyra plushie...wait...what goes in he-OH SWEET MERCILESS FUCK.	Supersonic Wave 3	P11	182/77

Attacking Midfielders

Number	Name	Image	Description	Boots	Skillcards	Height/Weight
21	Tracy	Tracey.png	"Name my pony and make her cutie mark." "Fluttershy" "Her name can be Tracy because you traced her from Fluttershy." Named within the first two posts and given a Nicholas Cage cutie mark with trips, Tracy, the former goalkeeper, very originally claimed her new spot on the starting XI as a midfielder.	Supersonic Wave 3	P08 P14 S01	205/98

Centre Forwards

Number	Name	Image	Description	Boots	Skillcards	Height/Weight
1	>rape		Hey /mlp/ what's yo- >rape Roll for your wa- >rape MLP General Rainbow Dash Edi- >rape Want to make a topic on /mlp/ without rape? Too fucking bad. >rape will always find you. There are no brakes on the >rape train	CTR360 Maestri III	P18 S02 S05 S06	185/65
23	Alicorn Twilight		Heralded by many as the savoir of the show, and by many others as the final nail in the coffin of Friendship is Magic, the recently crowned Princess Sparkle has taken to the field to prove to the anons of /mlp/ that the show has not jumped so far over the shark that it has entered orbit.	Supersonic Wave 3	P18 S01 S05	185/89

Player History

Former Players

No.	Name	Picture	Description	Cards
	Boop		After accumulating an impressive 3 caps for /mlp/, decided to retire gracefully to join the pornography industry under the name 'Tender Fetlocks'.	—
	Bananas		Sent to the moon on accident.	—
	Pure Pony Pleasure		Vanished after spending time with Horsefucker	—
	Nathan		Arrested after a police raid on his house. He is now facing trial for possession of enormous amounts of zoophilic porn, which he claims was on an external hard drive 'borrowed from Horsefucker'. The trail continues.	—
	Seaty Belt		Following the scandalous discovery by tabloid media that Seaty Belt had yet to receive her Cutie Mark, she disappeared from the public eye. Rumours abound that she underwent severe re-constructive surgery to avoid rabid paparazzi. Taco Belle signed soon after, who insisted she was of no relation to her predecessor.	—
	Applerape		Decided to also retire and return to his apple farm in the Ozarks. Later arrested on 37 accounts of rape.	—
	>fanfiction		Cut after not showing as much promise as his older brother, Clopfic.	—
	Ableist Ponies	LeAbleist.jpg	Too offensive to participate in the 4chan league.	—
	SmileSmileSmile		Became very repetitive over her career. Let go for wanting the goalhorn to be dedicated to her.	—
	Taco Belle		Retired after being found out about her surgery.	—
	Futashy	Nope.jpg	Released after her giant dick got in the way of everything	—
	King Zebra		Cut for being a filthy zebra.	—
	Pony Semen		HORSEFUCKER CLAIMS ANOTHER.	—
	CONTROVERSIAL		VERY DISTURBED	—
	Clopfic		Cut for being too edgy.	—
	Fluffy Pone		Found murdered to death after the team was relegated in Winter 2013	—
	Tom Dan	TomDan.gif	Retired from the squad after deciding he was too cool for us	—
	Marshmellow Butthole		Last seen visiting Mandopony's house - never seen again	—
	Molestia		Taking a short 'break' from the squad to deal with the multiple accusations of rape levelled at her	—
	Black Twilight		Retired from the squad after receiving a role in the upcoming movie 'Equestria Girls'	—
	Spaghetticon		Benched for dropping the ball and his spaghetti in the /m/ match in Winter and sacked after being outshined by his fellow teammates in Spring.	—