/mlp/ roster

Prenotes

• The /mlp/ roster is and will always be free of name- and tripfaggotry.
• Check the /mlp/ main page for up-to-date player positions.
• Goals do not include invitationals.
  
  

Current Squad

Medal Players

Name	Number	Image	Face	Description	Goals Scored
>rape	34			Hey /mlp/ what's yo- >rape Roll for your wa- >rape MLP General Rainbow Dash Edi- >rape Want to make a topic on /mlp/ without rape? Too fucking bad. >rape will always find you. There are no brakes on the >rape train.	103
Best Pony	1			It's Twilight. Ugh, no it's Fluttershy. Haha, what the fuck? Clearly Rainbow Dash is best pony. Classless fools, Rarity is superior pone. >2012 >not knowing Pinkie Pie is best poni Don't you all know? It's Applejack! Well, whenever somebody declares "Best Pony", the anons of /mlp/ will pop up and disagree with them.	61
Princess Twilight	9			Heralded by many as the saviour of the show, and by many others as the final nail in the coffin of Friendship is Magic, the controversially crowned Princess Sparkle has taken to the field to prove to the anons of /mlp/ that the show has not jumped so far over the shark that it has entered orbit.	38
HI ANON!	17			"HI ANON, I'M A MEDAL NOW"	0

Goalkeepers

Name	Number	Image	Face	Description	Goals Scored
Derpy Hooves	13			After being practically cut from the show, Derpy Hooves became the prized goalie of /mlp/ who can block all kicks no matter how impossible it seems, earning her the title SAFEST HOOVES. This star player will not be stepping down anytime soon.	1
Tracy	8			"Name my pony and make her cutie mark." "Fluttershy" "Her name can be Tracy because you traced her from Fluttershy." Named within the first two posts and given a Nicholas Cage cutie mark with trips, Tracy has returned to her original position this season as Goalkeeper.	25
^:)	23			o(\ (:^	0

Outfield Players

Name	Number	Image	Face	Description	Goals Scored
Faust	6			The creator, the beginning, the woman behind the creation of My Little Pony's reboot. Faust is leading the /mlp/ football team with hopes for a championship so that something good may come out of the fanbase.	2
Horsefucker	3			The neckbeard that surfs /mlp/, also known for fucking ponies, is finally getting off his wheelie chair to play some good old-fashioned football.	1
I Want To Cum Inside Rainbow Dash	7			I want to cum inside Rainbow Dash. Don't you, anon?	2
Lyra Plushie	11			Oh that's a good quality Lyra plushie...wait...what goes in he-OH SWEET MERCILESS FUCK. MAKE SURE MOM NEVER SEES THIS.	0
>no hooves	5			I mean, how can you get off to that? She doesn't even have any hooves you sick fucks.	0
Only On The Hub	20			Too mad to die.	0
Crotchtits	4			Do you like technicolor ponies? What of anatomically correct animation? Well, if you need to slap your dick to something, check out the coolest new fad to hit a computer monitor near you. It's crotchtits! How could you not enjoy those supple milk balloons? Be sure to look at the distinctive sway out on the field, distracting all the kissless virgins.	0
Thanks M.A. Larson!	2			We trusted you Larson. We wanted to believe that you could pull off Twilicorn, that everything would be ok. Sadly putting that exact line into the script several times wasn't subtle or convincing enough. To make things up, he retired from the show so he can focus on his football career.	0
Wow! Glimmer	19			Today on My Little Pony, a day in the life of Celes- Wow! Glimmer. Rarity and Twilight learn a lesson when- Wow! Glimmer. Sunset Shimmer, we need- Wow! Glimmer. SCREW YOU VARDY, GO FUCK- Wow! Glimmer.	1
It's Still Shit	44			It's still shit, but feelin' good as hell.	0
Kirin Beer	40			(It's piss)	0
>belongs on /v/	39			So begins Chapter 2.	0
Verity	##			'A true principal or belief, especially of fundamental importance'	0
Space Pony	##			Well, don't just sit there... We've got football to play.	0
wA.I.fu	##			Soccer protocol? Why it's my primary function.	0
Boop	##			BOOP BROUGHT BACK.	0

Retired Players

Name	Image	Description	Goals Scored
Bananas		Sent to the moon on "accident".	0
Pure Pony Pleasure		Vanished after spending time with Horsefucker	0
Nathan		Arrested after a police raid on his house. He is now facing trial for possession of enormous amounts of zoophilic porn, which he claims was on an external hard drive 'borrowed from Horsefucker'. The trail continues.	0
Seaty Belt		Following the scandalous discovery by tabloid media that Seaty Belt had yet to receive her Cutie Mark, she disappeared from the public eye. Rumors abound that she underwent severe reconstructive surgery to avoid rabid paparazzi. Taco Belle signed soon after, who insisted she was of no relation to the former.	0
Applerape		Decided to also retire and return to his apple farm in the Ozarks. Later arrested on 37 accounts of rape.	0
Lifeboat		Tragically lost at sea attempting to row back to /co/.	0
Terry		No time to Terry here. Auf Wiedersehen, mein Stutfohlen.	0
>fanfiction		Cut after not showing as much promise as his older brother, Clopfic.	0
Ableist Ponies		Too offensive to participate in the 4chan league.	0
SmileSmileSmile		Became very repetitive over her career. Let go for wanting the goalhorn to be dedicated to her.	0
Taco Belle		Retired after being found out about her surgery.	0
Futashy		Released after her giant dick got in the way of everything.	0
King Zebra		Cut for being a filthy zebra.	0
Pony Semen		HORSEFUCKER CLAIMS ANOTHER.	0
CONTROVERSIAL		VERY DISTURBED.	0
Clopfic		Cut for being too edgy.	0
Fluffy Pone		Found murdered to death after the team was relegated in Winter 2013. Another one was kidnapped somewhere between summer and autumn of 2014 to be used as a ball for the 4CC.	0
Tom Dan		Retired from the squad after deciding he was too cool for us.	0
Marshmellow Butthole		Last seen visiting Mandopony's house - never seen again.	0
Molestia		Taking a short 'break' from the squad to deal with the multiple accusations of rape leveled at her.	0
Black Twilight		Retired from the squad after receiving a role in the movie 'Equestria Girls'. Said to fight for social justice on tumblr now.	0
Spaghetticon		Benched for dropping the ball and his spaghetti in the /m/ match in Winter 2013. Sacked after being out shined by his fellow teammates in Spring 2013.	0
Cease & Desist		Taken off the team after management received a letter whose contents cannot be further disclosed.	0
IDontGetTheAppeal		I still don't get it.	0
Muh Job		Sacked for viewing prohibited content on the job.	0
Liquid Pride		Sacked after it became clear there is no pride whatsoever in watching a show for little girls.	0
Hate and Penetrate		Sacked after failing to properly penetrate the opponent's defense too many times.	0
Twilicane		Sacked after it was found out canes can't actually play football.	0
I Culminated		Got stuck between a rock and a hard place.	0
DYEWTS		Actually watched the show, didn't like it and left.	0
Tara Strong		Sacked after buying another pair of high heels instead of football boots with club money.	1
Baconhair		Preferred to make threads about herself on random Internet imageboards too much than spend her time training on the pitch.	0
Autism in Equestria		Disappeared to Equestria for good after Cadance joined the team and couldn't stop annoying him.	0
Cockblock Trixie		Left after she found out Twilight Sparkle would always steal the spotlight from her no matter what she did.	0
Existential Gummy		What was winning? Was it nothing more than the endless search for a star? And what was a star but a constant reminder that we were all only one crazy Texan away from rigging? And what of the poor gator? Logo no longer starless, destined to an existential swim down the river of memes to... an unknowable destiny?	0
Bomb Ass Tea		Since Cadance became pregnant, they decided that it's better for the baby if Shining stays at home.	0
Panda Ring		Spent again too much time pandering to the fans and too little playing football, again.	0
Don't Believe Her Lies		Can't make it to Cups anymore since she's too busy working on My Little Pony: The Movie. But don't worry, she'll come back for Season 7 after the movie. There will be a seventh season, right?	0
Didn't Listen		Got kicked out for not listening to the managers' instructions.	0
The Hiatus		An heroed when the hiatus became too much for her.	0
It's Already Shit		>stops being shit >immediately sacked Not even Winter and it's already shit	0
Rainbomination		Her broken anatomy got in the way of her divegrass career.	0
Who Is This Pink Dog		We still have no idea.	0
Razzle Dazzle		Cancelled her contract to star in a Manehattan revival of Equus.	1
Suicide Trixie		Finally convinced to climb out of the cannon by her BEST FRIEND.	0
Cheerileeder		The semester started, so she's back to grading papers.	0
Choose Your Own Autism		Turn to the next page if you choose to take a shot on goal. You have chosen, poorly.	0
Fuck Your Marker		Gunned down trying to jump the border back to /co/.	0
Jackie Chan Tulpa		Was real and found no trabble.	0
The Burdened		He carried our sins. Now we carry him in our hearts.	0
Best Friends		Repeatedly cited for illegal overnight wagon parking and loitering near the stadium.	0
Hasbro Internet Security		Server wiped. Someone still get Meghan her napkins, please.	0
>everycreature		Accepted a high paying consultant position with ACME labs.	0
Fizzlepop Berrytwist		Going back to friendship night school for her degree.	0
Cheeselegs		Really ded this time.	1*
Friendship Was Magic		Did you know you were my very best friends? [book closes].	0
Golly Loli		Minor sacking.	0
Faggot Deer		Every fucking game. Every single fucking game this faggot just sat there and gave me that stupid look on his face.	0
Lets Kill Applejack		Press F to Pay Respects.	0
Chad Spike		“Why yes, I did play for /mlp/. How could you tell?”	0
Fucking Dead		That statue is probably at the bottom of Horseshoe Bay by now.	0
So Sad (not really)		Sacked due to lack of support for Princess Twilight.	0
Miss /mlp/		Retired to tend her prized apple orchards.	0

(*) voided due to Dragongate