/biz/ Roster

Main page: /biz/

Players

Key

Starter

Sub

Silver

Gold

Active Players

Goalkeepers

Position	Picture	No.	Name/Icon	Description	Model
GK		77	Sergey of Nazaroth	Chainlink is a coin /biz/ discovered in 2017 which would have the utility of being a bridge between the messiness of reality and the determinism of the Block Chain through allowing for oracles to rip from APIs to then execute smart contracts on platforms like ETH. This subsequently created a ton of hype on /biz/ for discovering this coin so early and a cult of personality behind the company head Sergey Nazarov. Memes would be made of his repetitive wearing of the same shirt every day, his gaining of weight over the span of the years, him hiring prostitutes, and using the same slides every time he has a presentation. This is all despite the fact he behaves extremely professionally and never engages with /biz/. So what I'm saying is 1k EOY is FUD and my LINKIES stay super stinky.

Defenders

Position	Picture	No.	Name/Icon	Description	Model
CB		94	Money Skeleton	Vitalik Buterin. Skinny autistic kid who sperged out over WoW getting a major update, and decided to get into crypto because its deterministic setting would not allow devs to create a shitty update without consensus of over 51% of those upholding the network. He then wrote a blog post of the idea for integrating loops into the ledger thus making smart contracts on the blockchain. Thus he created ETH which revolutionized the crypto space and made a lot of fags on /biz/ rich. He remains autistic, cringe, beta, and a pedo defender, but he is our money skeleton which is based. People to this day argue about POS and ETH 2.0, which is never coming out by the way.
CB		8	AND WALLAH	O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H
RB		4	Pajeet	/biz/ has a problem. Shitcoin spam. The problem is attributed to Indias mostly from the fact that Indias make up a good amount of other scammers, trying to scam you to do the needful and feed their village. Its also common knowledge that crypto projects with mostly Indian dev teams are rugpulls waiting to happen. All of this compounded by the fact that a few too many crypto spam threads that have poped up on boards with flags, have had Indian flags. Don't let Pajeet steal your money. Do the needful my bastard and send it to my wallet instead. 0x7175CE963017307f6e57cE89CDb29a761E25aBFF
LB	[[File:|250px]]	9	Around Chinks, Never Blink	Soon[tm]	[[File:|250px]]
CB	[[File:|250px]]	13	25px Crypto Tax Boating Accident	Soon[tm]	[[File:|250px]]
CB	[[File:|250px]]	53	25px Garloid	Soon[tm]	[[File:|250px]]
RB	[[File:|250px]]	66	is it shitcoin season yet?	Soon[tm]	[[File:|250px]]

Midfielders

Position	Picture	No.	Name	Description	Model
AMF		0	AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH	I'VE LOST EVERYTHING! MAKE IT STOP! A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H
CMF		49	BOGGED	BZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZ YES? He wants to have a quick rundown of the Bogs? >rothschilds bow to the Bogdanoffs >in contact with aliens >rumoured to possess psychic abilities >control france with an iron fist >own castles and banks all over the world >direct descendants of the ancient royal blood line >will bankroll the first cities on Mars (Bogdangrad will be be the first city) >own basically every DNA editing research facility on Earth >first designer babies will be Bogdanoff Babies >both brothers said to have 200+ IQ Like Sminem was originally taken from elsewhere but was adopted because by /biz/ and then Bizonnaci into the man who dumps your coins just because you bought.
CMF		7	Dodo	In 2007 the economist Nassim Nicholas Taleb wrote a blockbuster book called the black swam, an idea that just because you have not seen something happen before does not make it impossible. The implication of his work was there to discredit the risk of the housing market, which true to his warning crashed 6 months after publishing. Because of that to this day black swans refer to market crashes caused by unexpected events. Dodo's representations of this trend, made popular during the COVID crash in 2020 and subsequently posted semi interchangeably with bobos.
DMF		5	Wagie	OOOOOOOHHHH WAGIE. Thanks for showing up early, but you have to jump into that cagie right now. No we will clock you in when your shift starts. Ignore the inhuman work conditions, soul crushing dead end job, and mystery you an invert experience working a scheduled service or foods job. If you don't do this you can just die on the street LMAO. This is what wagies want to make you think is their awful life. Every thread sounds exactly like this. Then you get the one boomer who is telling them to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and a job can give them meaning. They call him a boomer and hate on him. Who is right? Who cares.
CMF		17	XMR Chan	Mascot of Monero (Tinker: XMR) which is spammed all over /biz/ XMR threads especially the general. XMR is a privacy coin, meaning all those negative things boomers will complain about with crypto and BTC, yah thats what XMR is. You can hide it from your wife, use it to buy darkweb shit, or just random crap via local XMR. Despite being a privacy coin, most XMR chan art is very lewd. Guess that is because those who make art for her are aware of her private keys. Also yes there is too much loli of her.
CMF	[[File:|250px]]	53	Buy High, Baghold Forever	Soon[tm]	[[File:|250px]]
CMF		12	Snib Snab	If a bullmarket is it going up and a bearmarket down, a crab market is the market moving to the side, returning to the mean, or just not doing something to make bulls or bears excited. Why a crab? Well how do crabs move? Foward or backwards? Trick question to the side. Snib Snab is the Crab's name and he will make bulls and bears seethe and absolutely no one makes money.
CMF		87	The Chain Charles	Charles Hoskinson the cofounder of Cardano is a massive soy boy narcissist. Every picture he takes and posts is him with his ugly ass neckbeard smiling. He has a podcast where he tells his cult that his peer reviewed blockchain ETH copy paste will eventually have decentralized apps to surpass ETH, which lives rent free in his mind ever since he was kicked out of the project for being a massive narcissist that no one liked, a feet impressive considering half the devs in crypto are exactly the same. He also has a script running that mines for people posting for his name or Cardano, which is why he hates /biz/ and LINKies believing its not him is wrong in his circle jerk, but everyone else. ADA is also shit because the chain has no activity at the time of posting and takes days for its DAPPs to run. What makes it worse is that its made in a shitty language that only academics high on their own farts know, so its unlikely to be fixed any time soon. Now the question is, is he based for scamming redditors, or is he cringe for appealing to them so much to start with?
CMF		12	Bear Market Bobo	The first frog edit OC created on /biz/ to represent the bearish nature of those on /biz/ when things are dumping, many a shorter or someone just hoping to buy cheap will post smug bobos as things go down. Or will post a bobo emergency as things pump beyond their control.
CMF	[[File:|250px]]	6	Inflation is theft	Soon[tm]	[[File:|250px]]
LB		30	You will conform to the ESG	Illuminati man. Not kidding this dude does want you to eat bugs, sees Corona as a good thing, wants you to live in a pod, and does believe you will own nothing and be happy. He has also written a book regarding the 4th industrial revolution and how smart contracts utilizing oracles can revolutionize the world. So TNWO is in on LINK. Bullish.
CMF	[[File:|250px]]	13	25pxCrypto Tax Boating Accident	Soon[tm]	[[File:|250px]]
CMF	[[File:|250px]]	47	25pxGarloid	Soon[tm]	[[File:|250px]]
CMF	[[File:|250px]]	47	25pxDave Ramsey	Another old boomer trying to give zoomers financial advice, like with Peter Schiff he sounds retarded half the time thinking that stocks are the only way to go. Bitcoin to him is a joke and even though some have gotten massive gains from it, Dave says that you should immediately cash it out, tonight, if you can. Dave "to save money on tap water, boil your eggs in piss" Ramsey Dave "spit the toothpaste back in the tube" Ramsey Dave "cook noodles in the washer" Ramsey Dave "sleep 18 hours a day to preserve energy" Ramsey Dave "use the same piece of floss all year" Ramsey Dave "always reuse dirty napkins" Ramsey Dave "drink rain to save on your water bill" Ramsey Dave "wash your condoms out and re-use them" Ramsey Dave "Drop the protein shakes and cum in your mouth." Ramsey Dave "save your ear wax and use it to make candles for lighting" Ramsey Dave "swap the price labels on meat at the grocery store" Ramsey Dave "steal coins out of public fountains to supplement your income" Ramsey Dave "fill your toilet tank with bricks to reduce water wastage" Ramsey Dave "Destroy your license before you visit a hospital so the billing department can't find you" Ramsey Dave "Take longer strides when walking, fewer steps make your shoes last longer" Ramsey Dave "Wash your hands in the toilet before flushing." Ramsey Dave "pee in the toilet tank to conserve water" Ramsey Dave "dig for grubs in your front lawn" Ramsey Dave "Dress up as duck to get bread for free at the park" Ramsey Dave "Post threads for free instead of buying ads" Ramsey Dave "Collect the leaves in the forest to save on toilet paper" Ramsey Dave "Change your skin colour to black so you don't need to spend money on sunscreen" Ramsey	[[File:|250px]]
DMF		45	Boomer Rocks	Boomer rocks go by many names such as precious metals, gold, silver, ect. Those who hold them do so likely because they are old or dumb. The one everyone goes after on /biz/'s name is Peter Schiff because he's also extremely against crypto. Despite the fact his yearly return on investment has basically been 0 where as those who invested in crypto have made much higher rates of return. But keep believing the internet will turn off or the apocalypse comes boomer. When that day happens, only one metal will be valuable, which boomer rock holders don't hold, lead.

Forwards

Position	Picture	No.	Name	Description	Model
SS		11	Mumu	A bull market means the market is feeling optomistic and many gains are being realized. Its also a sign of a bubble forming. Mumu is a shitty /biz/ OC created to reflect this bullish setment or at the very least to antagonize those who are bearish and are spamming bobos. So we're never going under 20K 25K 30K 35K 40K 50K 55K 60K 70K 72000 again! R-right? Golden bullruns forever!
CF		99	Sminem	The boy who saved crypto. Originally an /int/ meme which began to be posted on /biz/ semi often in 2017 before the green wojak really took off. Bizonacci then ended up putting him in a video and he's now eternally the boy who saved crypto. Very memorable as a arch rival against the bogs due to his funny ears, several pics of him near bears in cages, hands open waiting to intake your energy, and absolutely optimistic look.

Old Players

Expand

Picture	Name	Description
	Chinked	From your funds being safe to supply chain coins, chinks have demonstrated time and time again to be one of THE BEST investments to make. That is if you like buying high and selling low.
	HODL	Reminder Hodl, or the mispelling of HOLD stands for: Hold On for Dear Life. So with that in mind, JUST HODL YOU WEAK HANDED FAGGOTS. JESUS CHRIST IF YOU DIDN'T PANIC SELL WE'D NEVER GO DOWN.
	Craig "Satoj" Wright	Satoshi the creator of bitcoin is a cryptic figure in crypto. That is till he came out of the background to decry his project, and propose a split. That or its just an Aussie shitposter trying to make a buck off a bunch of retarded pajeets.
	Nice Just Bought 100k	You made some money in it? Nice just bought 100k. Its at the bottom? Nice just bought 100k. /biz/ just scored? Nice just bought 100k.
	DR;NS	AHEM First they laughed and paid me no heed, to them I said not selling didn't read. Then they screamed until they were pink, but I'm never selling, not even one LINK. Again they swore that it was a scam, but I couldn't hear, I was choosing my lamb. I waited for days, weeks, even years, each day getting closer to no linker tears. They laughed and pointed COPE, but I simply smiled as they tied their rope. Despite all the FUD the torment the fear I knew deep down it'd be 1k end of year. Then one day out of the blue, LINK was worth one dollar, one fifty, then two. You'll never make, its a pyramid scheme, LINK's only value is based on some meme. My God, all this FUD over Linkies I thought to myself as my wallet grew stinky. Then one day I never thought it would come, all of those no-LINKers now wanted some. The begged, they cried, they screamed, and they plead, "One LINK SIR, THAT IS ALL I NEED." The moral of this, in case it needs telling, despite all these words, DIDN'T READ NEVER SELLING!
	Firm Handshake	The best /biz/nessmen make a good impression, and the first step to a good impression is a Firm Handshake.
	$1/Pop	/biz/, what's the best way to make a million dollars? Buy some kneepads and suck a million dicks at $1/Pop.
	80s Guy	The most aggressive member of the /biz/ Backline. Ambitious, but misunderstood, 80s Guy returns to the starting lineup to turn his defenders into Sharks, not Sheep.
	Fuck The Poor	Reminder that there are no poor people on /biz/, just temporarily embarrassed millionaires.
	Chip Warmer	Providing Restaurant Style Warmth to the /biz/ backfield.
	Oil Prices	One of /biz/'s oldest threads - nothing but endless shitposting since Oil Prices began to drop in 2014, but they've managed to chug on since.
	Tai Lopez	Tai Lopez would be happy to tell you the secrets of his success... for $70/month. Can the team follow his 67 steps to success?
	Bulls	More optimistic than his partner Bears, Bulls hopes to BUY BUY BUY a solid performance in the 4chan Cup.
	How Do I Get Rich?	Every /biz/ regular's least favorite thread - the only thing an outsider asks is how to get rich quick.
	Janet Yellen	Chairwoman of the Federal Reserve, or Ben Bernanke in a wig? Janet Yellen takes her place in the /biz/ Goal, looking to build a sound Monetary Policy in the /biz/ backfield.
	Pyramid Scheme	Get your friends to buy in by calling it a "Reverse Funnel System". You can make a lot of money in a Pyramid Scheme, if you just know the right time to cash out. You wouldn't get caught holding the bag, right?
	Ethercuck	Some call it a technological marvel, but to /biz/, it's all about Buying the Dip and making sure not to be left holding the bag. The latest /biz/ money-making sensation
	Forex	Foreign Exchange threads have always been popular on /biz/. Don't let anyone trick you into thinking they've actually made money on it, though.
	Robinhood	Turning memes into dreams since 2014. Buy high, sell low.
	Step 1: Be A Jew	You had to know this was coming. The Chosen People know how to make a buck or two, and we can only hope that their PES equivalent can bring /biz/ Plenty of Goals.
	Yatch	Every /biz/nessman's goal is to own a 200-foot Yatch.
	NO CASH OUT	Internet Money is not a form of currency. Please get a job. Thank you.
	THEY'RE AWAKE	Hi nau, China numba wan!
	Digimarines	WE ARE THE DIGIMARINES AND AFTER ALL THIS TIME WE WILL STILL NOT SELL!
	Blockfolio Rate	Hey /biz/ rate my blockfolio. Look at all these loses. Am I buying high and selling low enough?
	4000 OMG	4000 OMG!
	Elon Musk	Dude weed, lmao. Dude memes, lmao. Dude anime, lmao. Dude bitcoin, lmao. Dude bitcoin AND anime, hell fucking yes 100% /ourguy/.
	(((Ripple)))	A centralized join on a market about decentralization? Its backed by the US government? Gee I wonder (((who))) could be behind this?
	How Much BTC For This GF?	How much do I need to make in order to go to Thailand and buy a "G"F?
	FORCED MEMES	Somehow pajeets not only need to shill their shit coins on /biz/ but also need to shill their shitty memes. Be it Fresco or the NPC they all see to start on /biz/ and spread everywhere else.
	BITCONNNEEEEEEEEEC	I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE BITCONNNEEEEEEEEECCCCCCC
	Bart	Whats that funny shapped the candel stick chart is doing? Oh no, its another bart. Looks like we're going down again.
	John "Boomer" McAfee	One of the most retarded but funny idiots that follow and comments on crypto. Had a skycoin logo tattooed on his back. Is running for president AGAIN. Who can stop this madman?
	OHHHHHHH LINKIES	A humble guardian that keeps irrationally exuberant frogs and smug wojaks in line. Doesn't want to be your bully gf. Don't even ask. Stop imagining Nico's pungent feet on your face. Also a Sadomasochistic Nymphomaniac, gets excited by the idea of treating lowly LINK holders like the worthless pigs they really are. Might also subconsciously harbor thoughts of bullying you until you're nearly frothing at the mouth and enraged enough to take her right then and there. I already told you stop it anon.
	Nocoiner	Grug no like memecoins. Grug buy stocks, rocks, and do small buiness instead. Grug also complain on /biz/ every day that /biz/ no like what Grug like. Grug also no know that /biz/ was created to keep memecoins off /g/. Grug also no want to make money x10 in crypto because Grug know crypto a scam and will go to zero. Grug very smart.
	205 Days Till BTC Reaches 100k	This snail first started to be posted with how long it was taking for BTC to move past 10k after the 2017 bullrun. This was quickly proven wrong however with the 2020 bullrun quickly after taking BTC to new highs. However after BTC began to slow down its growth having reached 50k the return of the snail began, and some madlad made it his quest to post every it every day till BTC would reach 100k. This continues to this day. At the time of writing this we are at day 205 till BTC reaches 100k. Still waiting as it crawls along...
	Lambo	Crypto speak for having made it. Expensive car so its pretty much synonymous with moon, lots of money, and hookers. Some autistic Indian on /biz/ in LA bought a Lambo and tricked it out with even writing /biz/ on the side of it along with putting Bitcoins and LINKies all over it. No one believed it till the timestamp was given. He was doxed like a week later for his trouble.
	BBBRRRRRRRRR	Oh no the economy is being ruined by our poorly planned Keynsian macro economic theory? Haha money printer go BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRR. Oh no a ression has hit and we need to increase government spending to pay for more welfare? Haha money printer go BBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. No, it will not cause inflation. The current inflation is just transitory. No, don't cash out of the USD. Please hold your USD bags you dumb goy I mean American citizen. Don't put it into something else especially crypto.
	Dog Coin Season	The 2020 bullrun began with a pump in BTC and DEFI dAPPs. However protocols with actual value began to die as the market gained more and more normal fags. Soon DOGE coin pumped, and that was what signaled the beginning of the end. It had become dog coin season. Tones of doge coin forks began to pop up with even more circulating supply and dumber names. SHIBI INU coin, Doge Bonk coin, ect. Worse part of all of them is if you bought low and sold high you'd have made even more then those holding tokens with utility, but that are not needed.