/sg/

/sg/
ALLAH SOURIA BASHAR OU BAS
/sg/ - Syria General
Founded 28 September 1961 Manager Qasem "The Shadow Commader" Soleimani Owner Assad Bakeries & Co. IRL manager Rabbi Shlomo !!i3uxIMqTCIK Team colors HEX color CE1126 Ba'athist Blood-Red Top scorer The Fabulous Tiger (8) Top assister N/A (N/A) Captain Assad Wins Again Website /sg/ - Syria General Nickname Arab Secularists
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY 5 2 2 9 55.56%
GF GA GD 18 10 +8
Biggest win /ptg/  1–4  /sg/ 7 January, 2018 Biggest defeat /sg/  1–2  /cg/ 5 January, 2018 First match /sg/  2–1  /eire/ 8 July, 2017
/pol/eague Appearances 2 (First in /pol/eague 1) Best result Champions - /pol/league 2, /pol/eague 1
Team music
Anthem Good Morning Syria Victory Anthem Ali Madad, Ali Bakarat Assad Wins Again MOTM victory anthem Syrian national anthem Russian Liberator MOTM victory anthem Katyusha - Red army choir Goal horn Syrian circulation Assad Wins Again horn Ya Bashar Russian Liberator horn Russian national anthem The Fabulous Tiger horn Eye of the Tiger
Kits

Syria General - /sg/ is the /pol/ General that follows the Syrian war against terrorism, as well as all the conflicts taking place all around the world. Syria General sees the bigger picture behind all this: the global geopolitical struggle of the the USA and the Russia-led anti-western axis, be it in Iraq, Yemen, Ukraine, Lybia or Afghanistan. Also, we talk about Arab grammar, Levantine cuties and Mediterranean breakfasts.

With the based Syrian Arab Army retaking their country village by village, /sg/ is hoping to make some GAINZ in the world of divegrass too.

Team

No. Position Player   GK The Druze Beast   CB ISIS Airforce   CB Shadow Commander   CB Do it for Dima   DMF SAAnime   CMF Assad Wins Again   LMF Barrel Bomb   RMF Motorola   AMF Russian Liberator   SS MAD GAINZ   CF The Fabulous Tiger

No. Position Player   GK SOON   CB Muh 4-D Chess   CB Last Bakery   CB >Ukrainian """""Military"""""   CB Jihadi Julian   CB Erdogan's Hopes and Dreams   DMF Hezbollah Pepe   DMF Miss me yet?   LMF Kurdish Armored Infantry   LMF Tochka Houthis   RMF Idlib Express   RMF Eagles of Whirlwind

Sub

Starter

Silver

Gold

Goalkeepers

Pos.	Name	Picture	Description
GK	The Druze Beast		The late Issam Zahreddine, the legendary defender and martyr of Deir-ez-Eor and all-round alpha-male Druze beast. Ate ISIS jihadis for breakfast and feasted upon ruined Coalition dreams of partition as they failed to occupy DeZ thanks to the efforts of Issam and his Republican Guards. Through divegrass we keep this legend's memory alive.
GK	SOON		A phrase often shouted on /sg/, as it heralds future gains, offensives and campaigns by the SAA and their allies. Not only that, but it's also said when there's potential happenings in other places in the MENA region, such as the coup in Turkroachistan and the Qatar crisis. Posters usually ask whether something will happen in the future by saying "X WHEN?" and almost instantly get a reply: "S O O N". "SOON" has proven to have prophetic properties, since /sg/ managed to predict events such as the liberation of Aleppo, Deir Ez Zor, Palmyra, Latakia and many other strategic locations. IDLIB SOON!

Defenders

Pos.	Name	Picture	Description
CB	ISIS Air Force		So advanced it strikes from the ground (VBIED), only sometimes taking flight, usually from its safest airfields near Tel Aviv.
CB	Shadow Commander		INSERT DESCRIPTION
CB	Do it for Dima		The waifu of /sg/. All whose hearts are not gained by Suheil are surely swept away by Dima. Surely there is no better 3D waifu to fight for?
CB	Muh 4-D Chess		They always insist on it whenever they show up in /sg/: somehow, the latest 59 Tomahawk missiles are all part of 'muh 4-D chess' by Trump to somehow stick to his anti-intervention promises of the election campaign. Sadly, while /ptg/ remain the general of blind optimism, /sg/ is the general of realism where many have since lost the hope and optimism of November 9th 2016 marking a new era in geopolitics.
CB	Last Bakery		No bakery can survive Assad's reign of barrel-bombing terror, but it appears one slipped through the net. During the Aleppo campaign alone there was an average of 1 last bakery left every day, according to credible western and opposition sources - all bombed to smithereens by Assad from his private helicopter, along with the occasional hospital, school or kitten sanctuary.
CB	>Ukrainian """Military"""		A remnant from the good old days when /ug/ Ukraine General was still a thing. The Hohol (Ukrainian) army is notorious for being almost Arab-tier in terms of getting BTFO by miners, mechanics, a car-washing dwarf and a tall Abkhasian guy with a funny nickname (and maybe some Russian Liberator help). We have all seen plenty of videos showcasing the incompetence of the Hohol army both whilst fighting and whilst being away from the front line. Seeing as both Ukrainian and Syrian conflicts are geopolitically connected and are notorious for how shitty the forces of the participants are, we'd like to honor the general that is considered to be the daddy of /sg/.
CB	Jihadi Julian		Notorious German Liberal Islamist who works for the BILD propaganda magazine. Known for supporting the most ruthless Islamist factions in the Syrian civil war, including ISIS, whilst also being supportive of western liberal values, especially gay rights. It is our theory that Jihadi Julian has a personality disorder and that his blind hate for Russia and Assad makes him support all this salafi scum, seeing as he always goes out of his way to prove to everyone that all harm caused by non-Assad forces is accidental while Assad kills for pleasure (Don't try arguing with him though, he'll block you). /sg/ has a lot of fun trolling him with dank maymays and by registering his email on gay porn and islamist websites.
CB	Erdogan's Hopes and Dreams		The Roach Emperor is ready, after his false-flagged coup, to be officially declared Sultan. Hell-bent on recreating the Ottoman Empire, his diplomatic schizophrenia and personal moderate jihadists© are however making this task a lot harder. The question remains: what the hell does "cCc amk cCc" mean?

Midfielders

Pos.	Name	Picture	Description
DMF	SAAnime		To the joy of some, and to the disappointment of others in the general, /sg/ is filled with complete weebs. Megumin is always present whenever there is a need for explosions, showing close kinship with the SAA's (ab)use of barrel bombs while drooling over Russian and Iranian ICBM footage. Otherwise, big-breasted Hezbollah merchandise-wearing 2D girls occupy the thread, showing the beautiful alliance of the finest things oriental culture has to offer.
CMF	Assad Wins Again		Bashar al-Assad, the un-Mossaded one and rightful President of Syria. Everyone tries to get rid of him, everyone says 'Assad must go', yet he survives it all. Many a foreign leader has fallen to the Curse of Assad after they utter those wicked words and still he remains. A living testament for all that you can't Mossad the Assad.
LMF	Barrel Bomb		Slayer of hospitals (particularly children's), doctors clinics, bakeries and kitten and puppy farms. Assad's barrel bombs ALWAYS find their way to the most heart-wrenching and distressing target without fail.
RMF	Motorola		INSERT DESCRIPTION
DMF	Hezbollah Pepe		The Middle East's finest merchant removal specialists. They have everything to be smug about, both for having humiliated the IDF in 2006 and for their role in saving Assad from the powers of destruction on countless occasions. Ya Ali! Ya Zeinab! Ya Nasrallah!
DMF	Miss me yet?		This counts for all those ebil dictators the Neocons removed from power in their Israeli-advocated ZOG wars, such as Saddam, Gaddafi or Mohammad Najibullah. Now the nations they left behind lie in ruin and are being overrun by jihadi sand apes, which the USA either neglects or even sometimes arms in order to fight other jihadis. The people want them back, but would the US want them back too?
LMF	Kurdish Armoured Infantry		Kurdish 'tanks' roll all over the plains of Northern Syria. No-one quite knows how they function and no-one quite knows how they've come so far with them, but the biji wijis seem very proud of their iron plates on wheels.
LMF	Tochka Houthis		The legendary Houthi missile savants, no Saudi fighter or overpriced Western military hardware is safe from the unparalleled missile skills of /ourguys/ in Yemen. Houthis will find and destroy you with their missiles no matter how many proxies you hide behind.
RMF	Idlib Express		The green bus is the moderate jihadist's ultimate weapon once their pocket gets overrun by the SAA. Thanks to the power of NGO's and UN institutions these militants can freely move out of liberated territories and drive straight to Idlib where FSA factions are free to slaughter each other while displaying feats of takfirism that would put ISIS to shame. Assad personally chooses the driver amongst the trustiest /sg/ regulars.
RMF	Eagles of Whirlwind		The Syrian Social-Nationalist Party, whose goal is to establish a Greater Syrian nation, directly colludes with the Ba'athist party when it comes to their core ideology. Nonetheless, both share ideals of secularism, nationalism, and anti-imperialism, which explains their decision to fight on the side of the government rather than the moderate jihadists'. With one of the most aesthetic flags in the Middle East and a support base consisting in large part of college upper-class Syrian qt's, they are a force to be reckoned in the conflict.
AMF	Russian Liberator		Assad's guardian angel from Moscow. Just as it seemed that all hope was lost for Assad, a light appeared in the north in late 2015. The Russians scrambled to put an end to the US-backed Islamist menace by crushing the moderate headchoppers and ending ISIS with all their fancy new military toys along with tried and tested Soviet tech. Now the Ivans are helping the Syrians where they can, from food to BTFOing Hajjis while occasionally scoring levantine chicks. Truly the liberators Syria needed, as they fortunately managed to prevent the creation of another neocon/ZOG failed state.

Strikers

Pos.	Name	Picture	Description
SS	MAD GAINZ		The very fuel that keeps /sg/ going from day-to-day. There's nothing like an /sg/ bread when gainz are happening. Maybe it's a familiarity with map-painting games or just that we all have dangerously addictive personalities - gainz are the crack cocaine of /sg/ that keeps everyone hooked and coming back for more. Expect huge gainz on the pitch from now on as /sg/ joins the fray: your goal is not safe from our gainz.
CF	The Fabulous Tiger		Suheil al-Hassan, the fabulous, poetic and immaculately well-groomed commander of /sg/'s favourite living meme: the Tiger Forces. The Tiger has proven himself over several years as one of Syria's finest generals, the bane of ISIS and crusher of rebel dreams. There is no greater meme unit than the Tigers when it comes to destroying jihadis of the name of Assad nor any more reliable provider our gainz fix. He has stolen not only victory from the jaws of defeat on many a front, but the hearts of many a handsome young Levantine twink.

Match History

Date	Opponent	Competition	Result	Scorers
8 July 2017	/eire/	/pol/eague 1	2-1 W	4' Mad Gainz  55' Assad Wins Again
8 July 2017	/ptg/	/pol/eague 1	1-2 L	48' The Fabulous Tiger
9 July 2017	/britpol/	/pol/eague 1	1-1 D	75' The Fabulous Tiger
5 January 2018	/cg/	/pol/eague 2	1-2 L	8' The Fabulous Tiger
5 January 2018	/eire/	/pol/eague 2	1-3 W	14' Assad Wins Again  18' The Fabulous Tiger  43' The Shadow Commander
6 January 2018	/ancap/	/pol/eague 2	2-2 D	20'  33' Mad Gainz

Rivalries

/ptg/ - The 59 Missiles Derby /sg/ used to be cautiously optimistic towards Trump, hoping he'll de-escalate the situation in the Middle East. Then Trump broke all his promises and launched 59 missiles at the Shayrat airbase, and since /ptg/ are gullible fools that kept justifying the unjustifiable, /sg/ developped a hatred that quickly evolved into the pity one feels for a mentally impaired relative. Should /sg/ meet /ptg/ on the field, they'll prove the superiority of the helicopter-dropped barrel bomb over the uselessly expensive jewllistic missile.

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