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/vst/ Roster
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Current Roster
| Sub | Starter | Silver | Gold |
Goalkeepers
| Position | Name | Picture | Description | Number | ||
|
>no 110% speed | 
|
Just not fast enough. | 1 | ||
|
Good luck! I'm behind 7000 Powerliches | 
|
The Cloak of the Undead King is fun and balanced. | 2 |
Defence
| Position | Name | Picture | Description | Number | ||
|
Giant Pile of DLC | 
|
Every Paradox game is unplayable without it. | 4 | ||
|
Metal Boxes | 
|
Look! Rhinos! RRRRRRHHHHIIIIIIINNNNNOOOSSSSS! Our enemies hide in METAL BAWKSES, DA KOWARDZ! TEH FEWLZ!! We...(asthma) We should take away their METAL BAWKSES! | 5 | ||
|
"Glad you could bake it, $BOARD." | 
|
This entire citrella must be peeled. | 6 | ||
|
YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS | 
|
You require more minerals. You require more Vespene gas. | 3 | ||
|
Is PES a Strategy Game? | 
|
Testing suggests otherwise. | 13 | ||
|
THERMAL SIGNATURE DETECTED | File:Thermal Signature.jpg | Sound General Quarters! | 24 | ||
|
Panzerkampfwagenphilia | 
|
The eternal wehraboo. | 20 | ||
|
Horatio | 
|
All will be as Horatio. There is no room for the aesthetically-challenged. Currently in litigation with 4CC administration over the legality of a 23-Horatio team. |
21 | ||
|
ZERG RUSH KEKEKEKE | 
|
Whether it's the original six 'ling rush, a newfag's 12-pool or another form of all-out early aggression entirely, the violence has escalated and that's okay. | 19 | ||
|
Tall/Wide | 
|
Two vastly different approaches, offering unparalleled midfield flexibility. | 17 |
Midfield
| Position | Name | Picture | Description | Number | ||
|
El Presidente | 
|
No ball could possibly get past El Presidente's watchful eyes. Any questions? | 7 | ||
|
Artificial """Intelligence""" | 
|
Almost ubiquitous. The AI is for comp stomps; challenge is found against players. | 8 | ||
|
Wololo | 
|
WTF I love /vst/ now | 9 | ||
|
">99% chance to hit" | 
|
Surely nuCOM would never lie to you about probabilities. | 10 | ||
|
DORKEI HATQAPA IBERIM | 
|
>He hasn't memorized the names of all 549 Europa Barbarorum units | 16 | ||
|
WHEN THE WORK RESULT WAS GOOD | 
|
That'll be all your energy plus tip. The music that is played by The Silent Orchestra when it scores consists of 4 Movements. As the piece progresses, the audience listening will suffer WHITE damage. |
22 | ||
|
King Gedivilas of Chadtuania | 
|
The product of /vst/'s first legendary thread, King Gedivilas takes to the divegrass pitch to find a whole new world of WAGs to seduce. | 15 | ||
|
Karl Franz | 
|
SUMMON THE ELECTOR COUNTS! | 18 | ||
|
ABIBA TOOT | 
|
This is war. | 23 |
Attack
| Position | Name | Picture | Description | Number | ||
|
KANE LIVES | 
|
The captain and Time's Man of the Year, KANE LIVES IN DEATH |
12 | ||
|
Nuclear Gandhi | 
|
Having reduced every other civilisation to radioactive dust, Gandhi has stepped back from national leadership to nuke the back of the net. | 11 |
The Memorial
|align="center"|
| CB |
|---|
|align="center"|Nuclear Launch Detected
|align="center"|
|align="center"|Deactivated after repeatedly mistaking Gandhi's goals for hostile launches.
|align="center"|14