/tv/ Roster

Name	Number	Position	Image	Description
STARTERS
HOWEVER	55	GK		Yes, well done Slytherin, well done. HOWEVER, I'm going to award Gryffindor arbitrary points because I feel like it lol eat shit and die.
LYNCHED	2	LB		>not understanding thought-provking and masterful Lynchkino LYNCHED
Problem Child 2	89	CB		The greatest film of all time.
Classic Paul Dano	8	CB		Classic.
Rick Deckard	49	RB		LONELY AND HORNY.
Sneed's Feed and Seed	6	DMF		The greatest meme of all time, and the destroyer of (((comfy Simpson's threads))) (formerly reddit outposts).
Gul Dukat	9	CMF		MAKE CARDASSIA GREAT AGAIN
Real Human Being	1	CMF		And a real hero.
Sheev	66	AMF		UUUUUUUUUUUNLIMITED POWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Brendan Fraser	11	CF		Officially unJUSTed on January 31, 2019, but still JUSTed as a striker (fuck you Pentacks).
FOR YOU	4U	CF		U U U U
SUBSTITUTES
High Ground	12	GK		He has the physical high ground, as well as the moral high ground. It's like pottery.
Watch It Chrissy	13	LB		YOU'D BETTER WATCH IT, ANON.
Anatoly Dyatlov	36	LB		"How many goals have we conceded per game?" "3.6 per game, but that's as high as PES..." "3.6...not great, not terrible." Dyatlov did nothing wrong, fuck you CCCP.
Cinema Falcon	16	CB		>he doesn't watch kinos at the local kinoplex with his support falcon Fuck off, plebeian.
>Rotten Tomatoes	98	CB		>seriously thinking Rotten Tomatoes isn't bribed by the corporations to ensure fresh ratings on the Tomatometer >implying you can take them seriously after a +90% rating for TLJ >Black Panther is apparently the greatest film of all time
Birthday Snatcher	99	CB		What did Seagal mean by this?
Goold Fucking Shits	14	RB		Marky Mark's new fight.
Kinoplex Robert	19	RB		"Back so soon, anon? Thank your lucky stars. The no-singles policy has made an exemption just for you." >"H-heh, thanks, Robert. One ticket to Hobbs & Shaw, please." "Sounds like you're ready to get litty. I've got your crab legs with extra butter ready for you." >"You're the man, Robert." "Don't mention it, anon. Enjoy your kino and keep your ears peeled for the drawing of today's designated shooter."
K I N O	10	DMF		ABSOLUTE FUCKING KINOGRAPHY.
Dan "I don't feel so good" Schneider	15	DMF		AKA... Dan "Toes Are The Best On The Lolita Express" Schneider Dan "Delete All The Tweets About Little Kid's Feet" Schneider Dan "Getting Quite Keen With Jeffrey Epstein" Schneider Dan "Feet-Feet-Feet-F-Feetfeetfeet, Skeet-a-loadeon" Schneider Dan "Watch iCarly, Then iCummy" Schneider Dan "From Miranda Cosgrove to Miranda Rights" Schneider Dan "I Was Despicable Me Before Miranda" Schneider
I'M GONNA SAY IT	5	CMF		*HUFF HUFF* I'VE GOT *HUFF HUFF* A JOKE FOR YOU, MURRAY... *HUFF HUFF* WHAT'S 13%...BUT ALSO HALF? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S 13% AND *HUFF HUFF* ALSO HALF! A FUCKING N-
Really, Raimi?	23	RMF		>"That’s a cute outfit. Did your husband give it to you after he fucked you up the asshole, pozzed you and prolapsed your colon, you fucking disgusting AIDS vector vermin?" Holy fucking shit, Raimi. I get it, it was a different time, but REALLY?

Players joining the Spring 2020 Babby Cup team

Name	Number	Position	Image	Description
Skeksis Chamberlain	??		File:Skeksis.jpg	Acknowledging a so-called Gelfling genocide, hmmmmmm?
Dr. Ivo Robotnik	??			You didn't expect him to play for /tv/...but you were expecting him not to expect him to play for /tv/, so it doesn't count. Originally slated to join just before Christmas 2020 after his exile to the Mushroom Planet, Robotnik signed for the team in the springtime after learning that his contract promised him a pre-game latte with steamed Austrian goat milk made by his assistant every week.
Mike "Ampf" Stoklasa	??			AKA Mike "Pulling the Trigger on Every Nigger" Stoklasa, AKA Mike "Kike Killer" Stoklasa, AKA Mike "Gook Nuke" Stoklasa.