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/britpol/
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| /britpol/ | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| God Save the King | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| /britpol/ - British Politics | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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'ate /ptg/ mutts
'ate /pole/ polish
'ate /leftypol/ lefties
'ate /mlpol/ horsefuckers
love brexit
love /britpol/
simple as
Roster
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Goalkeepers
| Pos. | Name | Picture | Description | ||
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King Chuck's Feed and Seed (Formerly Lizzie's) | God save da 'king! |
Defenders
| Pos. | Name | Picture | Description | ||
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Three Lions | It's 2022 and any sportsball event in this country is still wall-to-wall kneeling and 'muh racism' gestures and videos all because three Ngubus couldn't take a penalty properly last summer and some people said mean things about it. | |||
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Calais Border | Keeping the 'refugees' where they belong, in France. | |||
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GET BOOSTED NOW | I cannot express how important it is that you GET. BOOSTED. NOW. God knows how many times Boris pushed the latest one-liner from GCHG's psyops division. But really you need to get your 9059372th clot shot booster right now. | |||
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Punished Suella | The former Home Secretary who wanted to actually do something about the boat people in the Channel and woke policing but suspiciously ended up resigning on the smallest possible infringement of the rules. I would who could possibly be behind this? | |||
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British >Police | Supposedly having a staffing, funding and resourcing crisis but still too busy showing to dance at gay pride events to actually solve any crimes. Doing absolutely nothing to show up or investigate while crime surges out of control and low level crimes become effectively decriminalised. | |||
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Morrissey | Not that long ago every cookie cutter journo and Guardian reader used to fall over themselves about how they were lifelong Smiths fans, now they fall over themselves to denounce are' Morrissey as literally just a Hitler who can sing. | |||
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Keir "Hold My Beer While I glass this queer" Starmer | Blandest opposition leader anyone has ever seen. Only ever polls well when Boris fucks something up, which is a lot of things these days. | |||
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Londistan | le 44% face. Still mayored by Sadiq Khan, pro independent Londonistan and pushed for backdooring Turkey into the EU. | |||
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Enoch Powell was right | Everything he said would happen has come true at some point in the last decade or so. Streets have run with rivers of blood from British terror attack victims and the coloured man has made the average Brit kneel before them at (((anti-racism))) protests. Enoch was truly right after all. | |||
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indyref 2 NEVER EVER | After a general election which left the SNP in power mainly as a Scottish shitpost against the then MP Gordon Brown, the SNP has lingered despite open Scottish hatred against it and subsequent polls and referendums against leaving the UK. Like an unflushable shit whos only agenda is begging for a second referendum to leave the UK and nothing else. |
Midfielders
| Pos. | Name | Picture | Description | ||
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Paki Rape Gangs | Muh six gorrilion raped Rotherham teenage girls. Every northern town over a certain size for some reason has a local ring of paki rapists passing the local white teenagers around like currency. But don't you dare ask why or you'll end up behind bars you bloody racist. | |||
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Karen | BA true patriot who always flies the Union flag and shows off her culture while learning new things abroad. Oh and she's a cute animu girl. | |||
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Pubs bankrupt, refugees loaded. | As the energy prices and cost-of-living crisis causes your local pub and thousands of other small businesses to go bust, guess what? Those so called 'refugees' coming flooding over the Channel, well they're getting your hard-earned tax money for comfortable hotel accommodation and generous handouts. | |||
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A Fucking Lettuce | Shortly before Liz Truss resigned after less than two months in office, a tabloid paper asked which would last longer given the choice between Truss and a humble vegetable in her final week. Guess what? The lettuce won. | |||
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BAMEposting | A well-used acronym in the last few years for Black Asian Ethnic Minorty people. You switch on your TV; they're everywhere, you watch the footie; they're everywhere, you look at your government; they're everywhere. Face it, BAMEs are everywhere especially living in /britpol/'s head rent free - and they're crashing this country with no survivors. | |||
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The Current Thing | Friday for climate? 2019 is ancient history mate. Clapping for muh NHS heroes and their Tik Tok dancing? That was so 2020. BLM and kneeling at every footy match? Nah kinda died out in 2021. But guess what fellow NPCs a new Current Thing has dropped! Get ready to fly your Ukrainian flags, post lengthy anti-Russian rants for upvotes and get your social media flag filters ready because 2022 has it's very own Current Thing now! | |||
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Hearty English Breakfast | You can have your fancy Greggs and Costas, but there's nuffin' like a good ol' full English. Rise an' shine with the /britpol/ lads at your local greasy spoon caff'. | |||
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Crashing this economy... | Kwasi Kwarteng, the former Chancellor of the Exchequer and baneposting appreciator who only lasted 38 days but not without leaving an impressive legacy; crashing the Pound, pension funds, government borrowing rates and the mortgage markets with no survivors. | |||
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>Genuine >Asylum Seekers | Thousands of so called 'refugees' have been crossing the Channel in ever growing waves despite the strange lack of most of them having coming from countries that are neighbouring, yet alone even at war. But it doesn't matter if you're from Iran or Albania, jump on a boat in northern France and just hop over the Channel. You'll get a free escort to safety in Britain and an all-expenses paid stay in a comfortable hotel with free food and drink provided! All this while the rest of the country has a cost of living crisis and the native homeless population freezes to death on the streets in record numbers. | |||
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The Gypsy King | The undisputed lineal champion of the world and the Gypsy King himself, Tyson Fury. Too based to be allowed to hold all four championship titles at once so the boxing world's (((authorities))) stripped him of them. Now back and in form again ever since he has been dedicating his time to breaking one overhyped buck after the other. |
Strikers
| Pos. | Name | Picture | Description | ||
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Are Nige | The man, the legend, Mr. Brexit himself, Nigel Farage. The man who made Brexit a reality. He had formerly retired during the election leading to UKIP dying like the passengers of a self damaged refugee ship off Dover, returning triumphantly with no platform or propaganda just creating the Brexit party out of the ashes of UKIP entirely on the merits of Brexit means Brexit. The dream achieved, he contents himself with shitposting on Cameo for the right pricetag. | |||
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Goalposting | Noice goal m8 me ol'man used to be a builder Ol 'Woz he woz aye, maybe i cud get ' lads togeva mekk u sum new unns proper shiney loik. Oh oh its nat yoire goal iz it naa y'just fukkin borrowing it arennnt ya are ya you cheeki fukkin cunt just standing in front of it like. Git off that fucking goal then ya slag u think yooos can tekk me yous wanna have a go douz ya, douz YA. I waz fighting before you were fukkin born i waz fighting before I waz fukkin born inside me dads bollocks probably makkin theez fukking goalposts youz standing in front of riet now. Aww how many times you thinkk haz Ngubu haz scored in these nets. Fucking love Ngubu me, got him tattoed on me back even though he transferred straight after to FUKKIN SOUF i still love him me. Score some goals you mad bastard ye. Oh yuh still ere, gonna tri an blokk me shot are ya yure a bloodeh legend you jumpy little bastard yoos fukking champion. |
Match History
| Date | Opponent | Competition | Result | Scorers |
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| 8 July 2017 |  /ptg/
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/pol/eague 1 | 2–2 D |  3', 38' 40 yr old School Child
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| 8 July 2017 |  /eire/
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/pol/eague 1 | 1–3 L | 82' Based Nige
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| 9 July 2017 |  /sg/
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/pol/eague 1 | 1–1 D | 21' Based Nige
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| 5 January 2018 |  /mlpol/
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/pol/eague 2 | 0–3 L | |
| 6 January 2018 |  /balk/
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/pol/eague 2 | 1–1 D | 66' "we know who really won"
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| 6 January 2018 |  /fsg/
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/pol/eague 2 | 3–2 W | 17', 38' Based Nige 80' Mummy May
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| 7 January 2018 |  /cg/
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/pol/eague 2 | 2–1 W | 28' Mummy May 73' Based Nige
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| 7 January 2018 | /sg/
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/pol/eague 2 | 0–3 L | |
| 7 January 2018 | /mlpol/
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/pol/eague 2 | 2–4 L | 28' Mummy May 59' Based Nige
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| 21 September 2018 |  /italypol/
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/pol/eague 3 | 0–2 L | |
| 21 September 2018 |  /lrg/
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/pol/eague 3 | 0–1 L | |
| 22 September 2018 |  /sng/
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/pol/eague 3 | 2–1 W | 11' MOGGMENTUM 85' Goalposting
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| 22 June 2019 | /mlpol/
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/pol/eague 4 | 3–3 D | 5', 58' Are Nige 24' Goalposting
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| 23 June 2019 |  /pay/
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/pol/eague 4 | 2–1 W | 6' Are Nige 80' Karen
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| 29 June 2019 |  /tcr/
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/pol/eague 4 | 0–2 L | |
| 30 June 2019 | /italypol/
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/pol/eague 4 | 3–2 W | 3', 67' Goalposting 90+1' Sargon of Cukkad
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| 30 June 2019 |  /nsg/
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/pol/eague 4 | 7–3 W | 16', 45+1', 48', 55', 68' Are Nige 86', 89' Goalposting
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| 30 June 2019 | /mlpol/
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/pol/eague 4 | 1–2 L (a.e.t.) | 69' Are Nige
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| 6 June 2020 | /tcr/
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/pol/eague 5 | 3–2 W | 53', 80' Sargon of Cukkad 63' Are Nige
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| 7 June 2020 | /cg/
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/pol/eague 5 | 3–4 L | 3', 41', 61' Are Nige
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| 13 June 2020 |  /sig/
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/pol/eague 5 | 7–0 W | 4', 45+1', 58' Are Nige 12' Absolute Madlad 73' Paki Rape Gangs 80', 90+4' Goalposting
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| 14 June 2020 | /italypol/
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/pol/eague 5 | 1–0 W | 51' Are Nige
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| 14 June 2020 | /tcr/
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/pol/eague 5 | 3–0 W | 19' Gypsy King 34', 77' Absolute Madlad
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| 14 June 2020 |  /leftypol/
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/pol/eague 5 | 1–0 W | 35' Paki Rape Gangs
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| 9 April 2022 | /tcr/
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/pol/eague 6 | 2–1 W | 28', 87' Goalposting
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| 10 April 2022 | /balk/
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/pol/eague 6 | 2–4 L | 14' Paki Rape Gangs 73' Goalposting
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| 16 April 2022 |  /pole/
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/pol/eague 6 | 4–0 W | 13', 53' Pubs closed, borders open. 33' (79) Are Nige
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| 17 April 2022 |  /ancap/
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/pol/eague 6 | 7–2 W | 6' (34), 73' (86) Goalposting 10' Paki Rape Gangs 15' (57) Are Nige
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| 17 April 2022 |  /esp/
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/pol/eague 6 | 3–0 W | 10' Pubs closed, borders open. 70' Paki Rape Gangs 76' Goalposting
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| 17 April 2022 | /mlpol/
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/pol/eague 6 | 1–1 L (a.e.t.) (1-3 pens) | 82' Goalposting
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| 10 June 2023 |  /sag/
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/pol/eague 7 | 1–2 L | 77' Are' Nige
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| 11 June 2023 |  /happening/
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/pol/eague 7 | 1–1 D | 62' Goalposting
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| 17 June 2023 | /sig/
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/pol/eague 6 | 2–4 W | 37' Boat People 39' (49) Goalposting 59' Designated Shitting Country
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| 18 June 2023 | /tcr/
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/pol/eague 7 | 3–1 L | 64' Goalposting
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Rivalries
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| /ptg/ - The 'muh 1776' Derby While not at Trump rallies or copeposting about 'muh stolen election' /ptg/ often does one thing; remind us about 'muh 1776' and how they owned the British and will do it again. Well, I say we should remind these upstart colonials that it was Britain and the British who first invented the Thirteen Colonies and in turn USA in the first place! Enough about 1776, or we'll make 1812 happen again on the pitch and Make America British Again!. |
| 0-1-0 |
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| /mlpol/ - The 'Oh my! Ruination is brought upon ones' day!' Derby One of the most oft-repeated fixures in the history of the /pol/eague has been the many clashes between britbongs and ponies. Progression has been decided by the outcome, cups have been decided by the outcome, but one clear pattern has emerged - Britain stands alone and your day is only safe from ruin if Britain prevails against the Nazi horsefucker menace. |
| 0-1-4 |
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| /auspol/ - The 'fuck off WE'RE full' Derby Back in the 18th Century Britain had a serious problem with overflowing jails and too many convicts to keep in this country. So after discovering a rather large island down between the Indian Ocean and the Pacific, we had this great idea of deporting all our troublesome undesirables off there. Unfortunately, this led to the founding of Australia and ever since then, in every sporting fixture, every international dispute and online exchange they've made us regret every last second of founding that cursed land. With the founding of /auspol/, /britpol/ now has its very own version of the Ashes to contend. |
| 0-0-0 |
Honours
/pol/eague 4: 2nd Place
/pol/eague 4: Are Nige : Golden Boot
/pol/eague 4: Karen : Golden Ball
/pol/eague 4: Calais Border : Golden Glove
/pol/eague 5: 1st Place
/pol/eague 5: Team of the Tournament
/pol/eague 5: Goalposting : Golden Ball
/pol/eague 5: Goal of the Tournament
/pol/eague 5: /pol/itician's Iron Cross
/pol/eague 5: Best Victory Anthem
/pol/eague 6: 2nd Place
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